If there's one thing that's true of men it's that after sex, we like to wear basketball shorts. Why? Because they're comfortable and they breathe. Next questions.
But the folks over at Racked wanted to dive in a little deeper, and everyone on Twitter is loving it. People are chiming in with their own theories and experiences, as well as what they wear after sex. Check it out!
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How will you defeat Donald Trump's handshake? They teach you a secret one when you're a reality-TV gameshow host, but when you're president, it's a whole new ballgame.
You've got to be careful becuase he'll grab you. When you're a star, as they say, they let you do it.
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We all spend a lot of time giving Nickelback a hard time. Why? Because they are demonstrably lame. Sorry, Canadians.
But apparently the Department of Defense isn't having it anymore. This memo, which as been shared over 1,500 times on Twitter, officially bans Nickelback, among other "Terrible 'Rock Groups'" from Command Post.
So if you were thinking about playing your copy of KoRn's Follow the Leader or "All-Star," you could be cleaning the floors with a toothbrush.An officer actually issued a memo banning Nickleback's music in the command post. http://pic.twitter.com/4nAQVwRli2
— Geoffrey Ingersoll (@GPIngersoll) February 17, 2017
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While we're all kind of tired of seeing those dumb pants that look like you shit your pants and floodpants, this really takes the cake in terms of dumb fashion.
According to Mashable, Post-It notes have taken over London Fashion Week because we're not even trying anymore.
Take a look and enjoy some of the dumbest clothes I've ever seen, and I'm wearing a baby's onesie right now.
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At this point, everyone knows that Trump, the reality-TV gameshow host who loves taco bowls, is trolling New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. It's been going on for months. We watched Trump not give him a job at the White House. We laughed at Trump forcing Christie to stand behind him at a press conference. Now, we sit back and enjoy the idea of them eating dinner together because that's when Trump calls his own shots based on an accumulation of data.
Apparently, that data said that Chris Christie likes meatloaf. According to The Boston Globe, "The Republican governor said while guest hosting a New York sports talk radio show Thursday that Trump pointed out the menu and told people to get whatever they want. Then he said he and Christie were going to have the meatloaf."
Man, Trump really doesn't respect this man. But people on Twitter love it, so, enjoy some schadenfreude below.
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Look, three-day weekends can be deadly. But let's not lose our heads. If you're so drunk that you can trip and knock yourself out on a doorknob, maybe it's time to get some sleep.
Let this video be a lesson to you.
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If you've been telling people "metal up your ass" for the last couple decades, well, I've got some bad news for you. When you play Metallica in a major key, it just sounds like pop-punk. Sorry, metal militia, but we're all lame.
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People are trying to whatever they can for someone in the White House to get a handle on the president, whom everyday looks more and more like a walking silver alert.
So Seth Rogen, the actor famous for nearly starting a war with North Korea, has jumped back into the political arena by reaching out to one special Twitter follower: Donald Trump, Jr.
Now with an ear to the fruit of that reality-TV gameshow host's loins, he's sliding into his DMs, and we're waiting to see if anything happens.
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You can't expect too much from fast food. It's mostly microwaved, assembly-lined food from people that should be making a bit more money. So you can't really blame them for not really giving a shit. So if you're paying a dollar for a burger or a taco, maybe you should expect fails like this.
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Trump's bonkers, coo coo, bananas press conference was a lot of things. Weird? Yes. Scary? Yes. Disorganized? Oh, yeah.
One thing it was not, however, was a finely-tuned machine. In fact, now that you mention it, none of the last month has really looked like a fine-tuned machine. It's most like a hastily-assembled Ikea cabinet.
Nevertheless, the reality-TV gameshow host who is still living in that reality-TV gameshow in his mind referred to his quickly-careening-off-a-cliff administration to a "finely-tuned machine," so everyone on Twitter theorized what that machine might look like. Check it out:
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Stop the presses, but food is made of different ingredients. Stay seated, for this one, but also really sweet food is generally made with a whole bunch of sugar. I know it's an outrage. However, that's how people feel about chocolatey-hazelnut spread Nutella, which, as it turns out, contains a lot of sugar. And this image isn't doing it any favors.
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So it has been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but you know what? At least your name isn't "Hitler Mussolini" or "B.J. Hardick."
Keep that in mind as you head into the weekend. No matter how bad things are getting, remember, you don't have this dumbass name: Kash Register.
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The world was shaken and stirred yesterday after Trump's press conference, and like James Bond, we were still very concerned about Russia. But at least Seth Meyers was there to make sense of it.
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First dates are stressful. Not only are you concerned that you might not like the other person, but also they might be a killer. That's why this masked guardian angel made looking out for their best friend their number one priority.
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Look at the little baby. Who's a little baby? Yes, you are. You are a little baby reality-TV gameshow host who is currently trying to divert attention away from the very obvious Russian collusion in the White House. Yes, you are.
But in the interest of beating a dead horse, The Daily Show wants to make that comparison all the more obvious. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. With this new browser extension the (failing) Daily Show makes Trump's tweets look like they've been scrawled by a wittle bitty eight-year-old with a crayon. Sad! Get it here: MakeTrumpTweetsEightAgain.com
Man, it's almost as if no one has any respect for this presidency.
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If you ask me, there's no funnier sketch in the world than Mr. Show's "Pre-Taped Call-in Show." Why I could just laugh and laugh at that sketch. It's that funny!
But if Bob Odenkirk's Mr. Show revival series W/ Bob and David wasn't enough to prove this old dog still had a few tricks up his collar, then this clip from The Late Show should.
Odenkirk plays Stephen Colbert in an upcoming film adaptation of Colbert's late-night talkshow. The sketch then careens down the rabbit hole into something covered in a whole bunch of wigs.
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Everyone knows that the Cat in the Hat is a piece of garbage, pushing kids into using their imagination while completely dismissing their goldfish's wishes. But I don't think anyone knew he was this much of a problem.
A new meme, which puts the Cat at the heart of some of history's greatest assassinations has shined a new light on him and his role in the past. Not to mention, his cruel obsession with bludgeoning political leaders with a baseball bat. Can't somebody stop him?
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