Thursday, September 17, 2020

Tony Hawk Yells "Do A Kick Flip" At Skateboarders


Nobody knows who Tony Hawk is, yet everyone knows who Tony Hawk is. In case you're unaware, Tony Hawk has a rolling list of encounters with fans that didn't know they were talking to the legend himself. 

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Throwback Thursday: Buying A Computer In 1994


The dude was unimaginably stoked about playing back that video file. 

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Seal Cuts One While Looking Directly At Camera


This seal just kinda scoots up, looks you right in the eye, and lets one out. It's as if it's saying "what are you gonna do about it." To answer that question, what we're gonna do about it is laugh to ourselves like the giddy 5th graders that we all truly are.

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Tagged: seal , cute , beach , lol , goofy , dumb , funny , Video , fart , animals
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Angry Karen Claims She Was Sold Faulty Machine, Tech Support Proves Otherwise


This would appear to be a case of Karen's son trying to sabotage his computer, so that he was able to get a new one. Unfortunately, Karen approached the situation with stubborn ignorance and some belligerence to wash the whole mess down. Check out some more juicy Karen drama with this chill teacher who foiled an anti-breakfast Karen.

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Tumblr Thread: The Extremely Suspicious Not-Mob Guy


Tumblr kicks around concepts like nobody's business and this looks totally like a show we'd want to watch. And as it turns out, there actually is a hilarious story that's based on a similar concept. For more off-the-wall spinnings of the mind, here are some random funny Tumblr gems to fill those pockets.

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Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Ilike the idea of a cop character who looks and acts like he's in the Mob. >He acts SUPER Italian >He always has some cousin that can help them out on a case (either as an informant or they can fix up a car or whatever) and they're all different people, but they're all named Tony >Whenever he's interrogating a suspect he always does borderline mob shit like "it sure would be a shame if something were to happen". >Hair and fashion sense are 10/10 >Slugger >Hi

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Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Exactly. And he himself doesn't do anything illegal, he's a good cop, but he still has the same rhythms and mannerisms of a Mafia enforcer. Like, he only listens to Sinatra on stakeouts, he has connections out the wazoo in Little Italy, he's super intimidating and he postures constantly. He has regular dinners with his family, his dad is the patriarch who runs a / completely legitimate/ pizza joint. And the jokes always come from him saying and doing things

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Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow They bust some punk kid for something like vandalism but the kid is clearly just a good kid who made a mistake, and since the owner isn't pressing charges they let him off with a warning. Vinny gives him a card and puts a hand on his shoulder and goes "Go to this address, ask for Uncle Marco. Tell him Vinny sent you. He'll take care of ya." And his partner is like "did you just recruit him???" But then they go to that address and find out "Uncle Marco" runs

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Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow I feel I should stress that Vinny never pushes the metaphor. He doesn't act up to mess with people. As far as he's concerned he's just a normal dude. It genuinely doesn't occur to him that people think he's a crook. urbanfantasyinspiration Follow I also like the idea that his vocabulary is stuck in the 1930's. He still calls cars flivvers. He calls baseball Stickball for crying out loud. urbanfantasyinspiration Follow "Hey Vinny, what do you do with your fre

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Cartoon - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow soup time Actual photo of Vinny the Mangler urb antasyinspir. ion Follow He's been on the force for years and still nobody knows how many siblings he has urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Also GOD HELP YOU if you call him "Vincent". Only his Nona gets away with calling him that.

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Text - doncarlosi Follow "You wanna go sleeping with the fishes tonight? ... My daughter's school is having a sleepover at the aquarium, but they need a couple of extra chaperones.' urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Brilliant addition grimsecret333 Follow I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse... injuries-in-dust Follow Dinner, tonight, with my family. My grandmothers linguini is something you just can't say "no" to. I mean, look at this picture of her. *takes a family photo out of wallet and

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Text - injuries-in-dust Follow He visits a newly opened store in the neighbourhood. "Nice place you got here. Would be a real shame if something bad happened to it." Everyone is sweating bullets for five minutes as Vinny walks around the place, slowly, looking at seemingly random things, very closely. Then Vinny hands the owner a report on all the weak points where a potential intruder could gain entry, where a little wiring may not be fully up to code so its a fire hazard, blind spots where sho

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Awful Manager Gets Outed For Never Actually Working


Nepotism is the worst. This manager had the audacity to violate labor law, hire his mistress (a mistress that never showed up), and rarely be in the store himself. Fortunately, the employee that was suffering underneath the weight of all this laziness, nepotism, and toxicity was able to engineer a pro revenge that successfully spotlighted the manager's ongoing choice to not perform the very job that he was being paid to do. Check out some more revenge drama with this shady boss who lied about their coworkers, and got fired.  

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/sunnykl • 1y The Bad Grocery Place I've written before about the good grocery store where I worked in high school. We had a couple of bad customers and a lot of senile seniors, but it was well run with a great manager. The one I worked at for one summer in college was The Bad Place. It was 1994 in a chain grocery store with a truly awful manager who was straight out of business school. He was also the regional office director's son, so he was teflon. Anything that we

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Text - Awful paid no attention to people's time constraints. We had a bunch of teenagers there who were attending summer school. He didn't care. He scheduled however he wanted and left us to swap shifts among ourselves. I personally saw him tell one girl she'd have to miss school because he needed her on shift and she couldn't find coverage. Crazy illegal. He didn't care about legalities. Awful's belief was that if the computer would accept it, then it was fine. It was the early days of computer

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Text - Awful was very rarely, if ever, in the store his entire shift. He'd clock in, get the few really important things done, then leave. He'd come back in the middle of his shift to do the bank deposits, then be gone again until it was time to clock out. He assigned all his work to the latest fall guy assistant manager or other random employees. If he was the only manager on duty, he'd leave his badge for overrides on the desk in the office so we could grab it when needed to override register

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Text - I mentioned in a previous post how national was pretty obsessed with mystery shopper reports, and got them directly from the company that did that stuff. We'd get all kind of conflicting instructions because national's edicts based on those and our regional director's policies would differ. Always fun. What I didn't mention was mystery shoppers were trivial to spot. They'd go straight to the bakery to price out a special order cake, then not buy it, complain about the price or ask any of

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Text - My last week at this shit show before I headed back to college, I spotted a blatant mystery shopper complete with note pad. Awful had bugged out shortly after open, the mistress was probably busy banging him, the other assistant manager had been fired for the last colossal screw up, and the only other cashier on shift was at lunch. It was pretty dead as it was late morning, so no big deal. Except that I decided it was time for this shit show to get reported for what it was. When Mystery c

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Text - Somewhere around this time, the other cashier (we'll call her Jenny) got back from her lunch break and I informed her that shit was about to get real. She might want to go home sick if she wanted some cover. Nah, Jenny giggled and wanted a front row seat. Besides, the lunch rush was coming. We had a construction area nearby and a lot of the guys came for the prepared foods for a cheap, hot lunch. We started to get the lunch rush and more of a crowd by the time Mystery made it up to my reg

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Text - Jenny caught on real fast and told me to just go get the badge from the office. Awful Firstname Lastname must be doing the money drop or something. I pointed out to Jenny that was against company policy. She rolled her eyes and told me that's what Awful Firstname Lastname had said to do. Now, where was that override badge? I headed up to the office and made a good show of looking for it. Called down to Jenny asking if she had it. Nope. Jenny abandoned the big order she was ringing up and

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Text - Jenny apologized to the mystery shopper, but she was going to have to get in Jenny's line now. I couldn't void the transaction or login to two registers at once, so I was going to help her pack it up and Jenny would get to Mystery as soon as she could. Now, this is somewhat bullshit. While true as stated, we all knew how to unplug the registers to get them to reset and log us out. It was a dumb hack, but it worked. Thing was, there was almost zero chance Awful or Mystery knew that. Myster

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Text - We apologized profusely to the customers, but explained we had no idea where Awful was. Offered to check in the back. Sent a bagger out to check the lot in case Awful was on a smoke break. No joy. As this fiasco rolled on, we had a lot of very unhappy customers on our hands (and the downright giddy Mystery who stayed to the bitter end). We were demanded to call a manager. We'd tried all Awful's known numbers. Who's above him? Oh, that's regional. We were not allowed to call them. Very str

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Text - Regional took about two hours to get somebody down to the store who could clear the registers. Nobody else in the store had permissions on that system. Awful still hadn't shown up. Regional Dude overrode the registers, but by then the damage was done. We'd missed the whole lunch rush. No hot food was sold. Our metrics for the day were going to be unbelievably shitty. Regional Dude was on the phone frantically trying to figure out how to cover this mess up for his boss (Awful's Father), an

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Text - A few weeks later, an audit team from national came down to investigate. The mystery shopper story hadn't lined up with the computer outage story, and something was obviously hinky. They dug into the books and found all the labor violations for minors working overtime and too early/late. Interviewed the employees and found out about the scheduling during school time problems. Manager absenteeism. No vacation being allowed. Also that the store was constantly short staffed (no shit; people

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Text - I don't know if they covered up all the labor violations or not (probably; that would have caused massive fines). I was too young to know to report them. However, Awful, his father and his mistress all got fired or resigned quietly. The store reportedly went back to being pretty functional after that. Jenny got a better job and left within the year. I never worked retail again. | tl;dr: Awful nepotism hire manager violates labor law, hires his mistress (who never even shows up), and is ra

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Awkward "Forgot to Turn Their Mic Off" Stories


With so many classes going remote, it only makes sense that there would be a huge number of instances of students and teachers making some serious errors over video calls. There's students getting caught badmouthing their teachers, students getting extremely personal, and all sort of mishaps going on when people forget to turn off their mic.

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Text - SirHasselblad 13.0k points · 18 hours ago One of my classmates was talking to someone off screen about how shitty the class is and how stupid our lecturer is. Her mic and camera were both on. She was rambling for about 30 seconds when the lecturer just said her name. She just looked over at her screen, leaned forward a tad, then her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth. She immediately left the meeting, haven't seen her in class since. This was 2 weeks ago.

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Text - daytime_moon99 7.7k points · 21 hours ago Once my very adorable classmate sang "happy birthday" so cheerfully while our prof was discussing. She only noticed it when she came back to class and saw our reactions in the chat. It was her dog's birthday, she said then apologized for it. "oh shit" to "awww" real quick :')

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Text - Arvendial 3.0k points · 20 hours ago Just yesterday! Kid was talking to his friend about how stupid the class was. Teacher stops and waits for him to finish. It takes them a second to realize that it's silent now. He asks if they're done. Sorry professor, muted. Cue the text chat in the server dying with laughter at him. (We made a discord server for the class)

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Text - OXD153A53 2.3k points · 18 hours ago Just yesterday had a classmate that was dead asleep..Like, head bobbin', open-mouth ASLEEP. This went on for about 15 minutes before he woke up, noticed the camera was on and quickly turned it off..It was too late, the prof had already made some remarks...and the lecture's recorded for later viewing :D

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Text - dendriticbranch 1.4k points · 19 hours ago In 8th grade our math teacher had this fancy new speaker and mic set installed in our classroom because apparently he had vocal chord issues and this way he could speak at a lower volume and not stress his voice box. So of course, he went to the bathroom and left his mic on. A class of 30 8th graders heard his entire bowel movement and bathroom ritual - including humming while washing his hands. The look on that poor mans face when he came back a

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Text - taintblister 31.2k points · 20 hours ago Someone in one of our huge official department meetings was unmuted. You could hear her bf ask in the background, "what are y'all doing?" And she said, "just this stupid meeting, we not doin' shiiiiieeettt." It was hilarious. She got kicked out of the meeting tho.

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Text - cwayzeecyclist 25.9k points · 19 hours ago My girlfriend told me a story of her taking an online zoom Pilates class at the beginning of everything shutting down. The zoom meeting was set up in presenter instead of gallery mode so whoever is speaking is on the main screen. She said in one of the poses someone farted and their camera popped up on the screen for everyone until the next instruction. Super awkward.

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Text - RollaRova 20.1k points · 21 hours ago Teacher was teaching a online class (grinds, which are extracurricular), there was a ton of audio issues and people kept saying they couldn't hear him, eventually he said that we would postpone the class to a couple days later, and that we could all leave the meeting now. Of course, I'm pretty sure this isn't the most tech- savvy guy, so he didn't realise that most of us couldn't tell he said to leave (audio issues again) and so we hung around a coupl

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Text - LaserbeamSharks 18.7k points · 19 hours ago · edited 19 hours ago Just today, this one guy had some unholy screeching coming through the mic from elsewhere in the house. No context, he just had a mildly panicked look on his face and muted himself.

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Text - Lanzzzalot 2.3k points · 19 hours ago Girl started to full on make out with her boyfriend. I mean under the shirt, heading to 3rd base type shit. Our professor has to beg her to at least turn off her camera

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Text - redditor_number_2156 16.6k points · 22 hours ago during an all school meeting, a teacher and his wife got in an argument and you could hear them yelling at each other.

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Text - ChonkDaddy23 9.9k points · 19 hours ago Our maths teacher is terrifying but doesn't really know how to work a computer. He was messing everything up and kept accidentally muting himself and stuff. Anyway this girl in my class forgot to mute herself and bacically spent a good 2 minutes dissing him with an impressive range of obscenities. At some point she realised that she was broadcasting her extremely low opinions of our teacher to the entire class. The teacher was very unhappy and the g

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Text - Cheshire_Cat8888 7.9k points · 19 hours ago I thought I had muted myself and I was just doing my work and singing "T'll make a man out of you" from Mulan because I had it stuck in my head. Then I looked at my computer and realized I wasn't muted and then quickly said Oh sorry I accidentally unmuted myself and the teacher said no worries and I could hear her laugh a little. I wanted to curl up and just lie in a hole. Lol.

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Text - silvermoon_182 7.6k points · 21 hours ago Not in my class, someone was unmuted while they started talking shit about someone else in the class before the teacher muted them. In my class, someone's mom came in and started yelling in Spanish. It was awkward bc at first the teacher thought they'd been trying to ask a question so she said "what" and for quiet for a minute while everyone just listened.

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Text - QuarantineTitans 6.2k points · 21 hours ago My dad's a college professor who is in his first semester of online classes. I moved in with him and mom to help take care of them during quarantine, and have extended my stay to help them with the inevitable slew of tech issues. Dad calls up, saying "can you come down a minute? I keep getting disconnected from the video." "Are you broadcasting now?" "No, I disconnected." I'd just gotten out of the shower, so figuring time was essential, I threw

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Text - Yep, it was still up and working. And in the upper-left corner, there I was, my fuzzy gut flopping around at all sorts of grotesque angles as I was leaning over the unappealingly lit desk. Now, instead of shrieking like a little girl, I kinda just look into the camera and say "ah, umm, good morning folks. Hey, uhh, professor dad? Bad news, mostly for them, your camera is working perfectly." Apparently, when he said he "disconnected," he meant the "share screen" would get disabled because

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Text - 5.3k points · 18 hours ago · edited 10 hours ago Not exactly but I did have a student who obviously walked why_is_rum_gone away in a callI. We predominantly use Teams for our video calls and it'll show you who is in a meeting and how long it is going for. I go through the teaching of the content and then I will always say "if you know what needs to be done, you're welcome to leave the call. If not, hang around and I'll answer your questions." All the students leave except one. I ask him h

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Text - zerbey 5.2k points · 21 hours ago Not in school, but a few years ago during online training for my job. Our managers agreed we could do the training at home since it was all remote anyway, and so it was an nice week working from home. During one of the sessions we heard what sounded like porn, then it got louder and louder. Finally the presenter says "OK we see who is unmuted, I'm not going to name names but let's be professional here". The poor guy couldn't look any of us in the eye afte

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Text - EweCanGoFuckYourSelf 4.6k points · 21 hours ago Not a teacher, but my wife is. She said that anytime she is in her class live stream our four year old will go use the potty and yell at her, "I'm done!!". Or anytime she smells something bad she will come up and ask her, "Did you toot?". I asked her if she did and that's why she is asking, she denies it, but I think otherwise.

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Text - May2211 4.0k points · 18 hours ago My 7th grade daughter turned on her zoom meeting for her very first class on her first day of school, saw the face of the student who was currently talking, and yelled "Not Victoria, I HATE Victoria"! I asked her if her mike was muted and she looked at her screen horrified, slammed her laptop shut, ran out of the room yelling "I quit school"! It was a rough first day.

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Text - Sage_Fox 4.0k points · 19 hours ago My church is still doing Zoom church. Apparently a quy didn't realize his wife was still in Zoom church when he stepped in full view of the camera, totally naked. I only know this because he said so, so luckily I don't think anyone noticed. We also have a time at the end for people to unmute themselves if they want to say hi. Someone unmuted himself, apparently thought it didn't work, and yelled "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS SHIT."

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