Well, shit. Sansa Stark might've just earned herself a spot on the other side of the wall. Just in case there was any lingering doubt: Sophie Turner (or just like Sansa Stark) and her witty banter are a spectacle to behold when she brings the sword of snarkiness down on irritable Twitter trolls. Prime example being the following shocking exchange.
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Ah, there you are 2017. I was wondering what kind of outrageous event might next dance across the social media news feeds, and this just about fits the bill. In all fairness, the Cheeto in consideration does bear a striking resemblance to the iconic Harambe (RIP).Yep. A Harambe-shaped Cheeto not only ignites a bidding war on Ebay, but someone legit threw out $100k for their bid.
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Testing out their new catapult system, the US Navy is launching trucks off the side of an aircraft carrier. There's not much more to this than that, but let me to tell you. This delivers.
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These bros just climbed their way to legendary status, and for the sake of their professional careers, I'm kind of hoping this video defies logic, and doesn't go viral. Tough one to rationalize with a law-abiding employer. Buut I mean, come on. Can you blame our bros of the hour anyways?
Considering the fact that the average price of a ticket for Super Bowl 51 clocked in at the bank account slaying-sum of $4,744, and the highest value ticket was a reported $74,928 (more than average salary of someone with advanced college degree), it's inevitable that people would go to staggering heights (literally in this case) to sneak into the game.
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It's as if this wrinkly old bag of bro bones walked himself right off the set of an 'Old School' sequel. If that movie reference didn't ring a bell, I'm talking about the one where a few middle-aged dudes up and start their own fraternity on the outskirts of a college campus...to smashing success, no less.
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These freshly roasted individuals brought this onslaught of savagery upon themselves. Let's just hope their sense of self-deprecating humor holds up to the creative, ruthless inspiration that went into the insults to begin with.
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Bob Ross himself is smilin down from up above at the sweet, summery sight of this goodness. As far as the artistic efforts go here from those that attended this epic birthday party, I definitely can relate to the dude who shamelessly scribbled on his phone. I feel your pain, bro.
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2017 may just be getting started, but for many, it's already been a scream-filled nightmare. So let's blow off some steam and scream together. Here are 17 tweets that sum up 2017 so far.
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Straight up smoky in this room right now from all these roastings. There's a great much to be said for the witty comeback-spewing cretins out there that can think on their feet, and maintain their cool in the fiery face of a pestilent shithead that just has it in for them, on any given day.
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Thoughts and prayers go out to our fallen boozehound of a brother in arms; clearly Saturday night got away from the guy, and he'd watered down so many brain cells with alcohol, the only outcome was his self-made failure. In this case, the fact that he literally tees himself up for a solid boss scolding. Yes, a fail in every sense of the word. Oh, also I definitely recommend checking out this dude's ongoing string of ridiculous tweets. He's got a Scottish Twitter accent thicker than a steaming bowl of overcooked porridge.
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I'm not so sure what J.K. Rowling's doing these days in the way of wrestling the blank page, taking pen to paper, etc; but dude, her ongoing Donald Trump-themed saga via Twitter has certainly got the people entertained -- Harry Potterheads and otherwise. Her whiplike wit and infectious snarkiness is keeping it light in these trying and predictably ridiculous weeks.
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How many times have you been stuck in a tub?
I thought so: At least 100.
So what do you do when you're stuck? Do you go blaming the thing that got you there, like accidentally filling your tub with crazy glue instead of bath bubbles (Ed: It happens all the time). No, you lift yourself up by your bootstraps and get going.
This woman got stuck in a tub because she filled the tub with coconut oil and that made it really slippery. Now she's slipping and sliding in the tub, and everyone is making fun of her. :(
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Ah, the good old tired, grouchy post-Super Bowl Monday morning, where we're all sleepily wading through a sea of bleary-eyed, burned out boozehounds with solidly pulverized livers, hating themselves as much as they already hated Monday. Or maybe you couldn't give less of a turd about last night's game or football in general. That is unless, you're a Patriots fan. In that case you mos def called in sick to work because you're probably still drunk right now, wrapping up an extensive bottomless mimosa and/or Bloody Mary-soaked brunch, to keep the celebration from last night's last call, going. Either way, the memelords of the world had a lot of material to work with after last night's massive comeback by the Patriots, to beat the Falcons in overtime. These memes in particular, didn't fail to keep us entertained.
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There are few things worse than getting a SPAM text. It's like:
So when we see someone taking the SPAM back and opening a can of SPAM on a SPAM account, it makes us want to celebrate by throwing the word "SPAM" into this sentence one more time. This person got a scam SPAM text, and decided to respond with a little SPAM of their own, mostly involving ferrets. You'll like this.
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Shitty times call for shitty inventions, and YouTuber Simone Giertz is the queen of them. Her work turns practical robotics into a nightmare world when automation can do the simplest thing without hurting her or another machine. More importantly, watching these machines screw up is hilariously entertaining. Check out some of the best:
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That shade just tossed was piiitch black, son. Leave it to one of the underworld's leading destinations for porn to shamelessly bust a nut all over the recently violated Atlanta Falcons. Yes, in case you caved up and unplugged from civilization yesterday, the Atlanta Falcons blew a fat lead, losing to the Patriots in overtime. We're talking a record-smashing, history-making kind of comeback led by Tom Brady. Unfortunately, the post-game celebration was brutally interrupted by the cold, sobering realization that someone had lifted Tom Brady's game jersey. Eager to hear how that all pans out..
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Shoutout to the girlfriend in this cringe-coated, vibrating disasterpiece of a prank, for putting up with our Vlog Bro of the hour's antics. His mom definitely gets some chill points as well.
Pro Tip: driving with a pair of vibrating panties on is no joke, bro.
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It's very easy to say movies suck now, despite the fact that there are still plenty of good movies coming out, like Green Room.
Cracked breaks down why most movies make simple mistakes, but this really only applies to big-budget scifi movies. He wears glasses, which means "smart, but he's clearly not talking about Green Room, which is also smart.
Still there's some good criticism here, despite the fact that "movies," apparently, shouldn't apply to Green Room, a perfect movie.
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White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has a lot of battles to fight — Dippin' Dots, Daft Punk, all that gum. So why not give him a little reprieve and let someone else take over?
Has the president considered comedian Melissa McCarthy? Her audition on this week's SNL was certainly memorable, especially when she picked up the podium and attacked the Fake News with it.
Hire her. Now.
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Everbody likes the Super Bowl. Children, adults, men, women, and even your English teacher. The Super Bowl is for everyone, even kings and queens.
And kings and queens throw wonderful Super Bowl parties. How do I know? Well, I've got photographic evidence!
Check out these photos of President Donald Trump, the reality-TV gameshow host, enjoying a sporting event just like a commoner. And look how much fun he and his close friends and family are having!
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So the Patriots won the Super Bowl, a sentence you've probably read countless times before.
As tired as we all are of reading the words "Patriots," "Tom Brady," "super," and "bowl," there's one person who ain't bored yet: Gisele Bündchen, Tom Brady's wife.
She was stoked. So stoked that she dropped her phone, despite the fact that she should probably just be kind of used to this already. Five Super Bowls? Come on, I'm not freaking out everytime I win a Super Bowl, and I'm Super Bowl-champion Joe Montana. Well, not really, but maybe! Nope.
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The safe word is: Data cap.
But you won’t be able to hear it because, ugh, Verizon is acting weird.
During the Super Bowl last night, T-Mobile unveiled their new Fifty Shades of Grey-themed commercial, which puts Verizon customer in the middle of a BDSM romance between her and her carrier. Kristen Schall's Verizon bill is so confusing that it causes her pain and sexual pleasure. Very sexy.
Verizon slammed back at T-Mobile on Twitter, tying them to the post, putting a ball gag in their mouth, and calmly stating that they have better speeds and coverage. Next thing you know, the two cell phone companies were at war, as T-Mobile’s mad CEO whipped Verizon back.
Check out the whole exchange between Verizon’s mysterious social media manager and a multi-millionaire. Who’s the sub and who’s the dom here?
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