Sunday, July 26, 2020

Tumblr Thread: The Cold-Blooded Freak Devil Cave Goat


Tumblr looked at this evolutionary dead-end of a forward-eye-facing cold-blooded cave goat and decided: "good." Sometimes tumblr gets ahold of some biology or history knowledge and extrapolates the ever-loving reality out of it like when they went full mythological science on dragon evolution. For another interesting learning experience here's Tumblr's thread on Kudzu, the monster plant waging war with everything.

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Text - RE tilthat Follow TIL a cave goat that went extinct approx. 5,000 years ago is the first known mammal to have become cold-blooded. Their bone growth rate is unlike any other mammal, and more similar to crocodiles in showing slow and adaptive rates to environmental temperature. via http://ift.tt/2vtQOYg r-evolution-aries Follow The goat's binomial name is Myotragus balearicus. It was kind of an oddball in a lot of other ways, too, an example being that it had forward-facing eyes, giving it

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Dinosaur - Here's what its skull looked like, btw. (By Didier Descouens - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0)

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Skeleton - creepsandcrawlers Follow can't believe we missed out on hte fucked up crocodile goat. :( thylacineshrine that was the devil shoresoftheshadowlands Follow

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Text - wingleader Follow What the what ohnoagremlin Follow having a bad time picturing what a goat with forward facing eyes would look like devilishdescent Follow

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Vertebrate - devilishdescent Follow it went extinct because anything that saw it instinctively wanted to kill it

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Quick Tumblr Post Defends English Language


This quick and entertaining Tumblr post makes some solid points about how much more complex and confusing the English language could truly be. 

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Text - theaustinstollhaus When people go off about how English is the worst language, I just wanna point out a few things: - Our future tense requires only one word (looking at you, Spanish) - Words don't change meanings depending on tone (Cantonese) - We don't live in some bizarre Beauty And The Beast world where we give inanimate objects genders (romance languages, German)

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Text - - Likewise, we don't have have two different words for "they" because we don't care whether "they" were male or female (Spanish, French) - There's no formal "you" because we don't play mind games about whether or not we respect you (Spanish, German) - We don't alter the whole fucking language based on how much we respect you (Japanese) - The letters and sounds might not be consistent, but at least we have letters, not just pictures (Mandarin)

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Text - - We don't have a fucking stupid tense specifically for talking to two people because some idiot decided that a two-person tense was necessary (Arabic) So yeah, I think we're doing okay as a language theaustinstollhaus Oh and some of our plurals are irregular, but at least it's not like every goddamn plural is an entirely new word so you have to learn every word twice At least it's not like that, right? Right, Arabic? WHAT A DUMB IDEA THAT WOULD BE, HUH, ARABIC? Source: theaustinstollhaus

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Parenting Attempts That Almost Nailed It


These parenting attempts definitely came from a warm and loving place. That being said, they definitely err on the side of being absolutely absurd. 

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Product - depressed knicks fan @kev_chillen Parents hella creative eelmao got her goofy ass 100% JUIC Nutrilios Facts >

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Nail

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Supermarket - Speedy Checkout 2 Save money. betten Lowerprices 58

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Deodorant - My Dad used to come to our rooms armed with "Monster Spray" when we had nightmares. He sprayed it under the bed, in my shoes, all the places monsters might hide. I loved it, the scent comforted me til I fell asleep. Monster Spray Chicande.com

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Text - daisyfirstaid swlo. 396 followers View Profile THE ΤΟΥ JAΙL you LEFT IT OUT, I PICKED IT UP. I HAVE YOUR STUFF YOU ARE OUT OF LUCK. TO GET IT BACK YOU MUST DO A CHORE AND AGAIN IT IS YOURS JUST LIKE BEFORE. Luve, LohoM "DAD AND

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Floor - Lucyfurr @LucySiameezer Note: Use Puppy lavender scented and cheaper than the human kind. 30 for $13 vs $16 for 20. Pads, they are Mum's 'ingenious' potty training hack goes viral.

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Child - OBDEK HEBE

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Clothing - TEXAS STATE EXAS TATE "My friend's dad just posted this on Facebook with the caption 'twins!"

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Text - Every time you don't eat your sandwich Unicorn dies # Dadfact A Love, Dad

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Christmas - WINTEK COMING

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Vehicle - THE MYSTERY MACHINE

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Product

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Dog

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Room - SERICUS cade

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Toy - to la t CocCola Sprie

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Water transportation - DIY Moana themed decoration Made this last summer for my daughter's birthday party

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Text - Please Follow Back @Bling021 Gonna tell my daughter that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage

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Text - TOY JAIL You left it out and I picked it up, Ive got your stuf.youre out of lick, To get it back, pleăse do a chore, Then its yours, just like before. ♡ Mummy

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Eyewear

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Desk

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Shoulder

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Child - 田国周 חממ HA HA APRIL Foo!

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Jeans - FEELING GUILTY ABOUT YOUR KIDS WATCHING TOO MUCH T.V.? JUST MUTE IT AND PUT THE CAPTIONS ON. BOOM! NOW THEY'RE READING

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Event

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Plant - When your kids say “You never buy me anything" NATURES Harvess

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Junk food - DAD I NEED FROOT LOOPS Malt OMal Tootie Fruitjes KpiAHLY FUAVORED love it or it's FREE! FRODT LOPS Relleg's FROOT LOOPS OLD ON SWEETHEART eS RESEALABLE

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Text - HI DARLING. UsE MY ATM CARD, TAIKE ANY AMOUNT DUT, GO SHOPPING AND TAKE YOUR FRIENDS FOR LUNCH PiN coDE: S (3x xr2-4)dx Vx 3x+2 I LOVE YOu HONEY IG 1 PTHELIONLAW OLM VISA

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1960s Hot Rod Restoration Is Strangely Relaxing


For whatever reason it's strangely comforting to watch this hot rod get deconstructed, cleaned up, and then put back together. 

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Tagged: cool , relaxing , awesome , cars , Video

Technically Correct Dumb Jokes and Moments


When you can't think of the right answer, it helps to just think of something clever and technically correct. Well it doesn't actually help, but at least it makes you feel smart and that's something. So why not feel witty for a second with some clever and literal jokes that are technically correct.

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Text - Jon Erlichman O @JonErlichm.. · 4h Breaking: Google buys Fitbit for $2.1 billion 76 27 914 2,599 Maitrey Jukar @EmptyJayy Replying to @JonErlichman Oh. Bad deal. I bought mine for $69.95.

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Face - The Independent @Independent 13h Robert De Niro 'will be lucky if he makes $7.5 million this year', lawyers say Robert De Niro 'will be lucky if he makes $7.5 million this year', . Robert De Niro has apparently claimed that coronavirus has decimated his finances. 8 independent.co.uk 1K 12 2.7K 829 Jon Fisher @jonthepon Replying to @Independent I too will be lucky if I earn $7.5m this year.

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Text - Harry McNicholas • 1 year ago Jesus promised to rid the world of sin. We still have sin. Odin promised to rid the world of the ice giants. Seen any ice giants lately? I6 5K 500 REPLIES

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Helmet - Once you've read the dictionary, every other book you read is just remix

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Text - astelic C-***: @Astelic · 21h now instead of saying "-2k19" we can say "-2k2k" this is awesome!! 43 27 18 527 Ziaia @Ziaia6 Replying to @Astelic Were living in 2020 while shes living in 20002000

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Human - 1963 2014 hotsuburbandad This is fake. They haven't been sat on that rock for 50 years. If you look closely you can clearly see her swimsuit is different in the second photo, it has stripes on it. And the guy's shorts seem to have a more floral pattem in the latter photo.Also, if someone sat on a rock for 50 years, it would have made the news. My theory is, they simply returned to the same location 50 years later, and recreated the original photo.

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Text - Thate cancel culture. Imagine God cancelling you because you did or said the wrong thing. The very first bible story is God cancelling two people over an apple Imao what

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Text - r/Showerthoughts Posted by u/vincent28322 2h You cannot recite the digits of pi backwards. + 4.0k 162 Share Award SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL TeboeCubes · 2h ip fo stigid eht Reply + 169

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Text - keith @KeetPotato me: "my wife is having a baby" colleague: "omg, do you know what it is?" me: "it's a person but smaller" 4:51 AM Jun 28, 2019 Twitter for iPhone Who are you, who are so wise Lin the ways of science?

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Transport - A normal conversation 2022 You can spell "Tony" as "Ptoughneigh"

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Product - Kennedy Michael @lamKenneh Throwback to when I used to smoke pot and sniff coke. OO O thank God lam a changed man now.

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Text - Basic as bleacH @teragraMadden Saying you're a night owl is redundant because owls are nocturnal. Unless of course you're saying you're a knight owl. Like Sir Hoot of Mousehuntingshire. That would make sense. 4:59 PM - 12/28/19 Twitter Web App

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Text - Follow every gamer's reaction upon finding a blood-covered room: well that's not good I am pretty sure that is not exclusive just to gamers. 464,196 notes

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Font - TOP 3 RICHEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD 1 3 n.i Maurice Jeff Bill Jones Bezos Gates $17 $115 billion $89 billica 1.6K LaughS SUBSCRIBE 46.6K subscribers Comments 75 Fah Bassad • 1 day ago Technically, Maurice is closer to being a millionaire than both Jeff and Bill. 323 1 目 12 VIEW 12 REPLIES

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Text - alien skier @clichedout nurse: how do u rate ur pain me: zero stars nurse: me: would not recommend

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Text - The Academy @TheAcademy Name a movie that was ahead of it's time. Ae Educati The Educated Moron Moron @EducatedMoron A movie about the year 2020, named '2012', came out in 2009.

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Text - 8 The first cells were probably...? lonely

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Grass - A guy in Uruguay, collaborated with another guy from South Korea, which is exactly in the opposite of Uruguay, to make a sandwich of the world. 7.2k 151 Share Almighty_One 2h So the entire world is inbred? That explains a lot.

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Cartoon - if you weigh 99 pounds, and you eat 1 pound of cheese, then you are 1% cheese.

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Facial hair - Stay retired Paul you're a better commentator than fighter Paul Felder @felderpaul Does it make you feel good saying that? Now would you say that to my face man to man? Nope you'd kick my ass that's why I said it on twitter Paul Felder Fair enough @felderpaul

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Text - In an atom, the number of electrons 1 point is equal to: the number of neutrons. the number of electrons. the number of protons. Clear selection

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Design - Instead of all the negative postings, here is a pic of some topless chicks in short skirts

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Text - can you be your own grandpa ALL IMAGES VIDEOS NEWS SHOPPING Suppose you marry a widow who already has a grown up daughter, and your father marries the widow's grown up daughter. Now the widow's daughter becomes your mother. Since your mother's mother is your wife, your wife is also your grandmother. As the husband of your grandmother, you become your own grandpa. Apr 12, 2017

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Text - r/AskReddit Posted by u/301is301 • 10h What is your favorite paradox? 个2.3k 1.4k Share f TOP COMMENTS bomber665_ko · 9h e S 3 Awards If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie Up, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up. However, in doing so he lets you down. Thus creating the Astley Paradox + Reply 个3.5k

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Pug - Me: I'm so fat. Friend: No, you're beautiful. Мe: I didn't say I was ugly, I said I was fat.

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