These filthy pictures were assembled for all you dark and dirty and depraved fiends out there that just couldn't bear to consume another steady procession of sweet, summery lighthearted pics. So buckle up and enjoy the following madness you've invited upon yourselves.
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If there's one thing we can count on when it comes to the dark humorously twisted black hole that is Club Penguin; it's for things to spiral out of control between users when it comes to dialogue. Also, it's truly amazing when it comes to the lengths people would go to to get themselves blacklisted from the game's servers. Color me impressed, but also vaguely disgusted.
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The dictionary has been doing great work these last few months. Not only have they reminded us that things like "alternative facts" are just lies, but also corrected Trump's poor grammar in real time.
Now, as we got ready to find out whether we'd still have health insurance next year, the dictionary threw some major shade:
Good morning? The #WordOfTheDay is nightmare. https://t.co/R13IzMaoNF
— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) March 24, 2017
Are we waking up from the nightmare or just returning to it? Hard to say. But at least Merriam-Webster is there with us.
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The internet can be a wonderful place full of information and wisdom, but more often than not it turns into soapbox for people to spout whatever insane rhetoric or obsessions they have. It becomes a fabulous echo chamber where you can validate your own thoughts and convictions because only your opinion matters.
These are a few of those people.
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Here's a little something to keep that Friday going smoothly.
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The company owned by Ivanka Trump's in-laws, the Kushner family definitely managed to ignite a hilarious wave of meme-inspired, dildoesque ridiculousness. Did they know the internet has no shame when it comes to drawing sexualized comparisons? They had to have. I refuse to believe anything else. That building is a steel-framed, thunderous erectile implant, and if the Kushners go through with creating it; all the power to 'em.
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Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds have been busy absolutely destroying the press tour for Life, by providing an endless procession of hilariously candid bromance-fueled interviews. The dudes cannot be stopped, and the chemistry between the two is next level. As a fan of both these guys and their work, I'm just so damn happy Hollywood finally brought 'em together; because I think we're witnessing the prelude to an epic talk show, with them as our hosts. Oh please, please, let it happen.
Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers )
If you're unfamiliar with Sebastian Lukács v. Gorka, you're really missing out. One of Trump's highest-level counter terrorism "experts," Gorka hit it big over the last last few weeks, after Gorka called a critic on the phone because the critic was mean to him on Twitter (you can listen to that call here), it was discovered that he swore allegiance to a neo-Nazi group, and had a blistering profile Full Frontal with Samantha Bee.
Now, after his appearance on Sean Hannity, Twitter is showing this Nazi what's up. Yeah, he's a Nazi who works for the president.
.@SebGorka called the London attack "just one more tragic piece of evidence of how very real the threat is to America and to her allies." http://pic.twitter.com/VcWqpaib5g
— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 23, 2017
Classic Gorka, using a nation's tragedy to justify his bigotry. Twitter, you're up to bat.
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Matty McLean, where'd it all go wrong, man? Blaming Adele there was a bold move too. Along the vein of live TV weather reporting fails, this ranks right up there at the damn top. To stumble and fumble the 'c bomb' once would've already cleared headlines; but to do so twice. Dude, this guy just became a legend, as we watched his career implode in an arresting display of self-inflicted funemployment.
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Tacos are supposed to be food for the soul, with every salsa-soaked, spicy, guac-dipped bite a tortilla-wrapped stepping stone on the path to ultimate enlightenment. But nnnoo. This evil, soul-crushing, stomach-turning restaurant had to go and serve up a Barbacoa Taco from the literal pits of hell. Brace yourself, this shit's harrowing.
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A semi-successful getaway.
After getting into a pretty nasty accident, this dude, instead of trying to wave down the police for help, made a break for it. First, he tries flagging down anyone that will give him a ride, before seeing his getaway car: A semi truck.
Watch as he makes a break for the truck, climbs atop it, and waits for them to cross the boarder into Mexico.
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Here are 25 memes to get that Friday rolling.
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If I've said it before, I've said it a hundred times: Nothing makes a fight better like someone's pants falling down.
Here we have a classic example of why racism will get you smacked. According to the video, this guy got "jumped by some black people so he's a little pissed off." He's at the convenient store complaining about it, while a woman is trying to live her goddamn life. As these things tend to go, he keeps using the n-word, and "he kept on doing it to her over and over again." What happened? I think you can figure it out:
It goes without saying that racism will get you beat up. Sorry, but that's just how the world works. You can't just be blaming one problem you had on a whole group of people, and more so than that, you can't be using the n-word.
But man, is there anything more pathetic than getting beat up and then having your pants fall down. So good.
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Who's a big boy?
That reality-TV gameshow host who somehow became president finally had his big boy dreams come true yesterday. After meeting with a group of trucking CEOs, the Donald got behind the wheel of a semi, pretended to drive for the first time in decades, and even got to honk the horn like a big boy!
When people already think you're dumb maybe don't wear the "I Love Trucks" button. http://pic.twitter.com/mZ5gC4aZdm
— Zach Broussard (@ZachBroussard) March 23, 2017
He sure does!
Obvious people loved this because, wow, does he look ridiculous. Check them out and try not to think about the fact that while this was happening, the GOP was figuring out a plan to kick 20 million people off insurance.
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These freshly roasted and toasted fools brought the barrage of ruthless insults on themselves. Bonus points to the witty and creative dudes that managed to be extra clever amidst the ritualistic process!
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So it's been another insane week in Trump's America. And as he juggles both the collapsing GOP Obamacare replacement and a massive Russia scandal, we're left trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
It's such a relief that Seth Meyers is able to sum these things up in about 10 minutes because who knew healthcare could be this complicated? Check out his latest "A Closer Look" segment, which basically tracks how Trump went from talking about healthcare to honking a truck horn like a big boy.
Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers)
For me, 'The Dark Knight' still stands as one of the greatest movies of all time. It was one of those films were the writing, acting, and directing all come together perfectly to create a truly awe-inspiring experience.
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This meme answers the all important question. What would you do after smoking something like this?
Of course, for the uninformed. These are all just plants and honey.
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