FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 11/14/20

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Things People Bought and Said "Never Again"

They said with this whole "free market" thing that we should be getting good products or services at a reasonable prices, but sometimes that's just not the case. Other times, you get what you pay for. Sometimes a company is having a bad day, and other times it's just common knowledge that you won't be getting a good steak from the dollar store. Other than products, there are things people did that made them say "never again."

1.

Text - Splendidissimus 608 points · 2 days ago I ordered a different type of gravy at Cracker Barrel, and they brought it out to me still in a plastic pouch with microwaving instructions on it. I know things are prepackaged and reheated in a lot of places, but to not even bother dishing it up?

2.

Text - zaagan-daas 31.0k points · 2 days ago 2 O 3 3 & 4 More Dollar Tree shredded cheese. Just. Don't. Please don't be like me and try it. NitroTitan 16.0k points · 2 days ago The dollar store in my area has $1 steaks. I can't imagine trusting a $1 steak to not kill me.

3.

Text - dudinax 24.7k points · 2 days ago S 2 AT&T from back in the days of long distance, said they'd get me a good rate to Thailand, which we call all the time. Bill comes and its 10x the advertised rate. I call. The first guy can't fix the bill. I escalate to a "manager". He says "You are correct. I'll fix your bill." Next day he calls back and says "we've decided not to fix your bill".

4.

Text - IGHOTI907 35.7k points · 2 days ago 2 a R 3 & 21 More Soon after she left me in 1998, my ex wife wanted to meet for a post mortem conversation. I suggested we meet at Pizzeria Uno. About 20 minutes into our agonizing conversation, she looked around and said: "Wait. You hate Pizzeria Uno." I replied: "I sure do. I'm not going to ruin a place that I like with terrible memories. I'm never entering a Pizzeria Uno again." And I haven't.

5.

Text - RPShep 24.4k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Best Buy. I bought a washer and dryer there, and I paid for installation. The guy came out, installed them, turned them on, and left. The washer started flooding my laundry room within minutes. I called them back, and they said they couldn't come back to fix it. They're just bring me a new washer in a few days. New washer comes, gets installed, and again the guy leaves (even though I asked him not to). Again, it floods my laundry room.

6.

Text - rosenewt 14.9k points · 2 days ago Ohio Savings Bank. They charged me 300 dollars over the span of a year because, unlike normal debit cards, every time I put my pin in instead of signing, it charged me an extra dollar fifty. By the time I caught it most of the charges were past the 30 day refund policy so they gave me 10 dollars as a refund. I didn't make a fuss because I know it's not the workers fault but I did withdraw all my money immediately and switched banks. Fuck that place.

7.

Text - Avatar_014 14.1k points · 2 days ago Sprint- couple of years ago they let someone buy over $2,000 worth of phones in my moms name. Didn't ask for ID or anything. They got an address but it was off by a couple of numbers. My mom didn't notice for a couple of months when her credit got flagged when they were trying to get approved for a loan or something. She fought with Sprint to get the charges removed from her credit. We've never had Sprint before so don't know how that was a massive ove

8.

Text - CoryVictorious 13.8k points - 2 days ago Planet Fitness. Manager called me after I had emailed about an issue and left a voice mail. Except when he hung up, he missed the receiver and I was treated to two minutes of him trash talking me. Called back and said "Yep, go ahead and cancel that membership and next time make sure you hang up". Fuck those chain gyms.

9.

Text - Highplowp 12.1k points · 2 days ago Greyhound bus. If you've got no other option, buckle up, it's going to get weird. peacefullypanda 8.3k points · 2 days ago My dad always says, "you don't ride Greyhound to go somewhere. You ride it to leave somewhere."

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Text - f1nchley 11.2k points 2 days ago O Spirit airlines. The one time my family has flown Spirit there was a crushed taco salad in the pull- down desk, and the whole plane smelled vaguely like baby powder

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Text - Domo-omori 10.5k points · 2 days ago & 2 More Planet fitness. Moved back to my home state from SF. Forgot to cancel my membership. Tried from the App: Nope. Tried from my local Planet Fitness: Nope. Said i had to MAIL IN A COPY OF MY LICENSE ANS PROOF OF MEMBERSHIP. So i cancelled that credit card because that was easier than getting my membership cancelled.

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Text - RedLodgeGrl 9.6k points · 2 days ago Dodge Ram. Bought new, had all service and oil changes done at the dealership. Paid above the monthly note and managed to pay it off about 6 months early. At 4.5 years/47K miles it throws a rod. Took the issue all the way up the chain. Was told that because the note was paid off, that we got our money's worth on the truck. Our "expectation that our truck should function beyond the length of the loan was unrealistic". F*ck Dodge, NEVER again.

14.

Text - romeo_papa_mike 8.3k points · 2 days ago · edited 1 day ago Samsung for putting menu ads on my TV that I paid for...

15.

Text - PassiveHulk 7.6k points · 2 days ago Long horn steak house. Reason: all but 2 people in our party (of 15 people) got horrid food poisoning. Mine was so bad that I threw out my back from vommiting and retching, and couldn't take pain medicine without throwing it up. So I couldn't sleep because of having intense stomach and back pain that lasted a week.

16.

Text - New_Game_P1us 7.4k points · 2 days ago Temptations cat treats, there's something in those things that turn cats into absolute junkies. OozingNoodle 3.1k points · 2 days ago One of my cats refused to eat normal food for days on end because of those damn treats

17.

Text - Zetta216 5.0k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Dominoes. My order was delivered by one of their drivers. The website offers contactless delivery. They are supposed to leave it on the doorstep and go. Delivery guy gets here without a mask. Knocks on door. I ask him to mask up before I answer and he refuses. I tell him I ordered contactless delivery. He says "well you didn't leave me a fucking tip." So I open the door and write zero on the paper. Asking him: "and this is how you thou

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Text - -EDGAR- 5.0k points · 2 days ago I dont know if they still do them, but a few years ago Burger King 2 came out with this "spooky" Whopper supposedly tasted like A1 sauce. with a black bun that I remember walking 6 blocks to the nearest Burger King after I just found out I got a new job because I wanted to celebrate. It seems weird, I know, but I was broke and Whoppers held a special place in my heart because they reminded me of some fun times when I was a kid and my mom used to sneak them

19.

Text - BlueManedHawk 4.9k points · 2 days ago Denny's. They spend too much time making high- quality shitposts on Tumblr and not enough time on making sure that the food comes out in less than an hour when less than a quarter of the tables are full.

20.

Text - sav575757 3.3k points · 2 days ago · edited 1 day ago Ashley furniture Tried to use the extra protection plan we brought for our sofa that broke. They picked it up and then they tried to deliver it back to the wrong address 4 GOD DAMN TIMES. We were without a sofa for a month and a half when we were told us it would be 7 days because they couldn't figure out how to update our fucking address. I literally had to go into a physical location because their phone customer service just couldn't

21.

Text - AddaboyShankle 2.4k points · 2 days ago Not me, but my dad. He refuses to eat at Subway ever again because when we broke a chocolate chip cookie in half to share, a long strand of hair came out from inside one of the chocolate chips.

22.

Text - KiniShakenBake 2.6k points · 2 days ago Generic American Cheese Slices from Walgreens. Dog needed medication. We typically encase it in some yummy soft american cheese. Kraft was like $5. Ouch. NoName was a buck for 16 slices. SOLD! Kraft slices also make a damn fine grilled cheese sandwich on the cheap. Except that the dog wouldn't touch it. Like actively turned away and refused to go near it. We had to get white slices when we went to the store next time because he needed to forget the

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Tagged: frustrating , wtf , FAIL , bad product , lol , scam , companies , cheap , regret

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Patient Doesn't Realize MRI Technician Can Hear Them

All kinds of cringeworthy and unfortunate events seem to happen in the air-conditioned confines of the local doctor's office. Sometimes, that means a patient not realizing that they're actually mic'd up, and the MRI technician on duty can hear every last fart that they're letting loose. An unfortunate, yet humbling (?) experience for any human being to go through.

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Text - r/tifu + Join u/markedforpie • 6d 2 S 1 1 Tifu by not realizing that the MRI technician could hear me. M Tifu by not realizing that the technician could hear me. Back in February my arm started hurting so I went to the doctor and he told me to rest it. It still hasn't healed so he scheduled me for an MRI today. I arrived and got all set up and the tech told me she was training a new girl. They asked me to lay down Superman style and then strapped down my arm. It really hurt but I figured

2.

Text - That's when I realized that the headphones were just a little too tight and the music just a little too quiet. You know how when you can make out what the song is but not quite make out the words. I also realized that I was becoming claustrophobic. So l'm living through my own small slice of hell when the song ends and then the same song starts playing again. And again and again. Blondie heart of glass on infinite repeat for 45 minutes.

3.

Text - Now I didn't realize that they could hear me in the other room and when I get nervous and uncomfortable I tend to fart. Not silent, but loud ripping sounds like I need to change my pants earth shakers. I'm nervous, I'm in pain and l'm being tortured by not quite loud enough music and the loud thrumming of the machine. After a while I started making up words to the music about how gassy and uncomfortable I was. Occasionally, the technician would speak to me through the headphones and tell

4.

Text - the machine and that they can't hear the music but next time let someone know. That's when I realize l've been ripping ass for the last 30 minutes and they could hear EVERYTHING! I've never been so mortified in my life. TI:dr: I suffered through auto and physical torture while ripping ass for 45 minutes and singing about it because I was too stupid to realize there is a microphone in the MRI machine. 720 73 1 Share

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Tagged: FAIL , injury , Awkward , ridiculous , tifu , Reddit

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Fun and Frustration with The English Language

The English language has some confusing peculiarities to it that result in English struggles, but heck, most languages have some phonetic and semantic weirdness winding through them. And English isn't the only strange language. Here's a post defending the English language and how it's not the only weird language out there.

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Text - Text - aaronsmithtumbler Older forms of English kept Latin's gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix3; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix. This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids. val-ritz YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE Source: aaronsmithtumbler

2.

Text - Text - little-john1994 fester-and-cousin-it June 25th 2015, 6:08:53 pm - 2 minutes ago thelifeofatubaplayer: thelastmellophone: espurr-roba: consultingmoosecaptain: dalekitsune: the phrase "curiosity killed the cat" is actually not the full phrase it actually is "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back" so don't let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu See also: Biood is thieker than water The blood of the covenant is

3.

Text - French: ..Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine, sixty-ten... Other languages: **stares* French: **stares back** French: ...sixty-eleven, sixty-twelve sixty-thirteen... French: ..sixty-sixteen, sixty-ten- seven... Other languages: "shutting eyes* French: ...sixty-ten-eight, sixty-ten- nine... Other languages: *hands over face* French: ..four twenties! :) Four twenties one...

4.

Text - Text - Tal Waterhouse @iiTalW People who can't distinguish be- tween etymology and entomology bug me in ways I cannot put into words. 10:01 PM 02 May 18

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Text - Why is baked pronounced baked but naked isnt pronounced naked? Gugulethu Mhlungu @GugsM Because, as someone said, English is not a language, it's three languages wearing a trench coat pretending to be one. O Like Comment Share O=0 3.4K Jordyn Wintyrz and 18.4K others shared this Most Relevant v Charlie Short pretty bold of you to say that since you got named after the sound a plunger makes 4h Like Reply 0 183

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Text - beesmygod: "chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means" chuffed 4) [chuhft] 2 Show IPA adjective British Informal. delighted; pleased; satisfied. Origin: 1855-60; see chuff, -ed? chuffed? 4) [chuhft] ? Show IPA adjective British Informal. annoyed; displeased; disgruntled. it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing what the hell This makes me really chuffed This post is quite egregious e gre gious i'grēj

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Text - ace-nyctophyle any noun can become a verb if you don't care enough * yupokaysuremhm This point is invalid unless you use an example in your sentence ace-nyctophyle I CAN SENTENCE HOW I WANT THANK A yupokaysuremhm BEAUTIFUL mysterytinyfox you see thats why i love english ailithnight I like to velociraptor around my house at 2 in the morning. ace-nyctophyle GOOD not-to-be-a-tea-but-brit My headache makes me want to clothesline into a wall enquires-state-building why do these make some sembl

8.

Text - itsagifnotagif S pheelluminati Follow hxasinthus i wish it was 1600 so i cood spelle words howe everr my harte desyred holisticfansstuff Source: hxasinthus #thou canst spelle wyrds howevere thou liekest alraedye if thou isntst a couweurde Tags via @aziraphalesbian fluorescentjellyfish Please no this is how French happened Source: hxasinthus 110,640 notes

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Text - Text - Junie Dyana @DyanaTweets Do French people smoke weed or oui'd Sherman_Beardman 1.3k points 2 years ago The fact that Kansas and Arkansas are pronounced differently bothers me way more than it should. madamplease 13.7k points 1 year ago Pronouncing words that end in 'ough'. Cough, bough, rough, dough, through, though... Vaxtin 47k points 4 years ago Is the "S" or "C" in scent silent? AdventurousMan 4.6k points 4 years ago Why does fridge have a "D" in it, but refrigerator doesn't? D

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Text - Matthew Anderson @MattAndersonBBC Things native English speakers know, but don't know we know: Traducir del inglés adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order: opinion- size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you'll sound like a maniac. It's an odd thing that English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it

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Text - kidouyuuto: how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple French Person: Non c'est une fucking pomme *800 years of war*

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Text - languagebender why divide people by unrational things when you COULD divide them by whether their word for cotton candy is valid or not ? languagebender examples: american english: cotton candy good british english: fairy floss X not valid spanish, german: sugar cotton good french: daddy's beard X NOT VALID berenswick I'm sorry the French call it what

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Text - historical-nonfiction Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter. omegajako Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes garbage-empress Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God libertarirynn He also solidified the idea of rabbits loving carrots when carrots actually carry very little nutritional value for rabbits. The funniest part of that

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Tagged: frustrating , english , interesting , language , lol , linguistics , funny , weird , spelling

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Tumblr Thread: NASA's Care for Opportunity Rover is a Feels Expedition

There was something extremely poetic about Opportunity shutting down that struck a chord with a lot of people. Workers at NASA really liked to anthropomorphize rovers, like the time they got Curiosity to sing "Happy Birthday." If we know one thing about people and their relationship with adorable robots, it's that humans can pack bond with anything, including a Roomba.

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Text - newromaantics this morning NASA abandoned their mars rover Opportunity (aka Oppy) because it (she) got hit by a storm on Mars and it knocked her camera and wheels out and her last words to the team were "my battery is low and it is getting cold". I know she's a machine but l'm devastated. Oppy is the one who discovered water on Mars. RIP oppy ily space baby

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Text - myhomework-is-onfire they didn't abandon her! they tried eight months to reach her!!!! as their last farewell to her yesterday they played her "I'll be seeing you" by Billie Holiday: "I'l find you in the morning sun And when the night is new 'll be looking at the moon But l'll be seeing you" They love her so much and they tried so hard!!

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Text - stickmanbrandon Oh man, It doesn't end there. This isn't the first song NASA sent Opportunity. They had a playlist: https://www.space.com/41434-mars-rover- opportunity-wakeup-music-playlist.html? fbclid=lwAR3uL6q4tOmLQTIEhiwYegGc99nv4 NO1HQKItpCLQiQYlptBOevNN6ulyT8 It's on Spotify, it's called "Opportunity, wake up!"

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Text - This is what's great about NASA and it's what's great about people. These are world-class engineers. When they sent a rover to another planet they could have easily looked at it as just another scientific tool. But people don't do that. We can and will get emotionally attached to the most inanimate of objects. We can and will anthropomorphize anything. And frankly Opportunity's camera mast looks like a little face with eyes and everything, so why not? So they started calling it her. They

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Text - After 15 years of Oppy flipping the double bird to her original 90 day life expectancy, when a planet-spanning dust storm finally knocked her out and she stopped responding to the engineer's wake-up messages, they started playing music for her. And after 8 months and almost 1000 unanswered wake-up messages, when it was finally clear that Oppy was never going to wake up, the last thing these world-class NASA engineers did for their little rover on another planet Was play her a love song

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Tagged: Sad , aww , wholesome , mars rover , nasa , feels , song , rover

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Auction Winner Won't Pay, Learns Their Lesson

Man, what compels a person to go through all the trouble to win a dang auction and then refuse to pay up? Just not cool, man. Well, this auction winner ended up learning their lesson the hard way. Well played on the part of the person who went ahead and won all those other auctions. A nice mix of petty and pro revenge if we do say so ourselves!

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/Ryan_is_my_real_name • 2y 1 Win my auction and not pay? Oh trust me, you're going to pay! TL;DR: at bottom I make art as a hobby. Metal sculptures. I only sell them when I need a bit of money for something. I had a holiday coming up so listed one here on TradeMe (an auction site) for a $1 reserve. The auction lasted 10 days and the piece got quite a bit of interest in that time with lots of people adding it to their watchlist and bidding on it.

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Text - About a year later, after l'd forgotten all about it, I get a bunch of emails from Trademe telling me TW has new listings. Seems TW is packing up shop and moving to Australia. Seems everything has got to go mate. Ironically, his listing states that everything must be picked up by end of August as I'm moving to Australia, NO TIME WASTERS. He's got listings for a car, motorcycle, tools, a welder, some furniture, rims and a bunch of other stuff. I give his feedback another quick look to see

4.

Text - Over the following week I research what a good price would be for everything he lists. I share all his listings with my friends and get them to add his listing to their watchlist so he thinks they are popular. Insruct them to go into a bidding war with me on each item up to a certain amount but no further. I win all of his auctions using a bunch of false accounts. Lucky guy gets top dollar for everything. I reply all the auction winning email confirmations from the various accounts arrang

5.

Text - On the day at arrange to pick up the car (it had been agreed previously that he could continue to use his car up until two days before leaving for Australia because I'm a nice guy like that) I text him that I'm on my way, see you at 1. I was late of course. 'nearly there mate see you soon' half an hour later '5 minutes away' 20 minutes later 'l'm here where are ya?' Ignore the text messages and waited for the call. TW: Where are ya Me: Annoying isn't it TW: What? Me: Annoying isn't it Tw:

6.

Text - Over the next few hours I called him as the welder buyer 'Annoying isn't it', the motorbike buyer 'Annoying isn't it', outdoor furniture buyer 'Annoying isn't it' ... all of them. To top it off I gave him positive feedback on everything I bought saying he was a 'Top Trader A+++, easy pick up, good communication". In the coming weeks I was contacted by Trademe regarding his dispute (he was wanting to get the success fees back, over $500 altogether l'd guess) I responded to each of those wi

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Tagged: satisfying , FAIL , revenge , ridiculous , Reddit , auction , karma , win

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