Husband Attempts to Convince His Wife That It’s Her Job to Get Up at 5AM and Make Him Breakfast and She’s Not Having It

It's the attitude here that sets the pace on the path to arseholery. I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to expect some kind of support from your significant other if you have a demanding job that is bringing in the bookoo bucks. If my partner was raking it in I would be waiting on her hand and foot. I still have my fingers crossed that this reality might materialize in the future. 

But 5AM is an early start for a parent who has been up all night with a child. Maybe find something else you want her to help you with dude. I'm sure there is a lot that she is doing already that you aren't noticing. 

Parenting isn't easy. You'll keep making mistakes even when your children are adults or so my parents tell me. ^{Not exactly talking from experience here.}

Twitter Thread: People's Local Obvious Crime Front Businesses

Every town has a few. An impossible building, maybe with no sign, standing in defiance of the Starbucks on the right and the frozen yogurt place on the left. Some say it's a Chinese restaurant. Others swear that they fix up broken vacuums. But the one thing everyone agrees on is that it hasn't changed in 30 years, it's almost never open, and there's always a guy in a tracksuit standing outside. For some detailed accounts of these absolute gems, here's a tumblr thread about eating good meals at crime fronts.

Drummer Nate Smith Gives Crowd Lesson In 7/4 Time

We like to think of ourselves as people with good musical timing, and after seeing this, we're pretty certain that we've been wrong about that. But maybe if we had a few dozen people to help us clap at the right time, we'd be able to keep up with the velvety grooves on display.

Veteran Finds Out His Watch is Worth Up To 700K

There's something magical about watching a person learn that their treasured possession is worth a fortune on Antiques Roadshow. The way this appraiser keeps adding details and value to the watch is a satisfying sight to behold.

A Pumpkinload Of Spooky Memes For The Halloween Season

Halloween is great. It gives us an opportunity to let out our true selves, especially if your true self is a sexy firefighter. And with the night of the ghouls we get that beautiful few weeks leading up to it, where we get to eat candy, watch bad movies and plan for our role in the upcoming skeleton war. So enjoy those spooky memes while you can, cause next month we have to see our most hated family members for a big tense dinner.

Freaky Close Calls That People Somehow Avoided

At best, life is a series of dodged bullets. With all the falling icicles, natural disasters and blind turns on one lane roads that life has to offer, we can only hope to be fortunate enough to say "damn, that was crazy" at the end of a close call. And it gives us a sense of appreciation for our current circumstances when we can look back with a feeling of bewilderment on the moments that we realize could have gone very differently. 

Manager Tells Clever Employee He "Doesn’t Care How He Does His Job and to Just Do It", So He Does Exactly That

Another classic tale in malicious compliance. The last thing you want to do as a manager is mess with the sole employee who knows how to execute a vital task of your business. It's probably best to manage them as you need to and otherwise live and let live.

Otherwise, you end up in the situation that his bad boss has found himself in. Up a creek without a paddle. Good luck getting yourself home buddy.

People Who Quit Their Toxic Bosses

There's nothing quite like the satisfaction of quitting a bad job with a toxic boss. The feeling of realizing you don't have an irrational overlord scheduling you for unreasonable hours and punishing you for cryptic infractions is like taking a deep breath for the first time in years. For another good one, here's the boss who reprimanded an employee for sitting with a broken foot and was shocked that they quit.

Wholesome Memes Because Everyone Needs A Nice Break

If you're like us, misanthropes who look at the tub drain and see not only our dreams but also an alarming amount of head hair, it's important to remember to take a break from seeing the world through dookie-colored glasses. That's where wholesome memescan be a good reminder that people are basically good, almost no one is thinking about how much they dislike you at this very moment, and also dogs are nice.

Funny Tweets And Tumblr Gems To Make The Day That Much More Tolerable

We are bored, boring people and we need a saline drip of jokes to get us through our pointless days. That may sound a bit sad, and it is, but without them we'd just be specters haunting our own grey lives, unable to find the joy in witnessing even the sweetest of groin injuries. So let's see if we can find a vein and plug in some funny tweets and sweet tumblr gems.

Wholesome Tech Support Helps Lady Who's Been Brushed Off For A Full Year

This person might be the only time we've ever heard of a TV/Internet provider ever going above and beyond for a customer, and it feels like a flower blooming in the desert. If only there were more people like this. For a more stand-offish episode with an internet company, here's the time an internet company refused to cancel service and a rural customer let them prove themselves wrong.

Entitled People Who Stained The World With Their Absurd Demands

People will find things to complain about. They'll split hairs with surgical precision just to complain about free donuts. They'll make up a bunch of lies to smear a business that didn't serve them 10 minutes after closing time. They'll try to not pay people for completed work and they'll have meltdowns over not getting preferred appointment times. It's a wild world out there, and it's bursting with entitled people in need of a reality check.

Teen Doesn’t Want to Refer to Father’s Step-Children as Siblings, Upsets Their Mother Greatly

What is it with evil step-mothers wanting their new families wanting to 'adopt' their children and refer to them as certain things this week? 'Cause I'm seeing a trend here. 

The answer here is probably the same as the step-niece and nephew... the mother is being completely unreasonable here. This girl has lived as a part of this family for 17 years and is almost and adult herself. I can kind of see where she is coming from but it is probably a bit late for this girl to be taking on new step-siblings without developing the relationship. If it happens it happens but you can't just force it to non-organically. 

Strange And Cursed Images to Pump Up The Weird

Even if we had the context, the double packaged bananas, extra long toilets and refurbished burgers in here still wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. Maybe we don't deserve context. Maybe the world is just doomed to be cursed. Maybe all we can do is sit back with some cursed food and watch it all pass us by like some kind of nonsense-fueled horror parade.

Dude Sends Non-Spicy Food Back 4 Times, Asks Internet If He's In The Wrong

We really don't want to be bad customers at restaurants. We know firsthand that being a prickly customer is no fun, and we'd rather not be labelled as any type of dreaded Karen. But as people with wants and needs and dignity and all that jazz, we don't want to be bullied by someone who's having a bad day and taking it out on us. These competing goals supersede each other depending on the instance, and in the case of the bland curry it really feels like this guy had a point.