Sean Hannity likes to stir the pot, and by that I mean, look like an idiot in public.
So when he asked the internet if the left was trying to destroy the Trump presidency, Twitter was pretty much uniform in their answer: "He doesn't need their help."
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One of our most favorite outcomes of the Superbowl blowout was that bet that Genie Bouchard made with a random dude on twitter. The gist was that if the Patriots came back from their 24-0 deficit and won the game, she would have to go on a date with him. Well, she agreed and, well, the Falcons dropped the ball. Hard.
Anyways, this guy is one lucky son of a bitch.
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Seth Rogen and his sweet milky bong of justice and "uh-huhhhhhh" laughs all add up to be the hero we never expected, but the one we need in these trying times under the tangerine-coated, Cheeto puff-dusted overlord that only today told us drugs cost as much as candy bars, amidst a full-fledged mental breakdown. Upon realizing that Donald Trump's son follows him on Twitter, Seth proceeded to make the only natural move any one would given the opportunity; and tried to slide into DJ Trump Jr's DMs, for the sake of humanity itself. Will his heroic efforts work, or fade into helpless oblivion? I guess time will tell.
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Remember that scene in The Dark Knight, when Batman saves the life of that sniveling, backstabbing little prick who wants to blackmail Batman by crashing his car into him? Well, that happened in real life!
A different rich guy with a super fancy car wrecked it saving an out of control car. Whoa. Just like in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight. This man drove his Tesla into an out of control Passat, saving the life of the driver. The guy, reportedly, also had a really raspy voice. Just kidding. But that also would've been like in The Dark Knight.
But even cooler, Elon Musk, a third rich guy who owns a tech company (like in The Dark Knight) said he would cover the repairs to the Tesla. I don't think that happened in The Dark Knight, but you could imagine Bruce Wayne doing something similar.
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I don't know why, but for some reason this one manages to skip past being just mildly amusing and right on into being utterly baffling. It raises so many questions. Why is Tom Hanks so obsessed with gloves? Did he have some kind of traumatic experience with a lost glove?
I'm willing to bet that at some point he painted a face on a glove and it became his best friend while he was stranded on an island, only for it to be lost at sea.
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Anyone that's ever served time as a waiter can tell you every shift brings with it a new form of chaos --- the grumpy, bitchfaced, beer-bloated, red-faced-angry-hockey-dad customer who had a bone to pick with the restaurant's inability to cater to his overdeveloped taste for craft beers that almost never end up on the tap list; or the catty group of eye-rolling sorority sisters out for a ladies' night, jacked up on the pre-game Pinot they guzzled in dad's BMW, before proceeding to make the server's life a living hell by ordering extravagantly customized salads. But those are just a couple examples. Dates are a whole 'nother animal, and these particular cringe-coated, romantically failed dates rank as some of the worst I've come across in this long strange trip called life, so far.
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During his certifiably insane-o press conference today, that reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year and is currently having some sort of mental breakdown, Donald Trump, said that drugs are cheaper than candy bars.
Now, because drug prices are way too high in this country, people on twitter really want to know where Trump is getting his stuff. Check it out:
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This is the kind of shit that we live for. So many twists and turns. Our weary, struggle-prone bathroom warrior of the hour really spun a good yarn that didn't fail to keep me on the edge of my (toilet) seat. That, or this is kickass marketing by Charmin, interwoven into the fabric of Imgur. I'm going to have to go with the latter, butt in no way does that mean this little tale wasn't the shit, and a nice break from the pipeline of irritable advertising schemes that have a way of clogging up our news feeds.
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Well well, these didn't fail to trigger a vague feeling of taking a short-term vow of celibacy. Okay, not really, and I won't even try to peddle it off like I'm someone who has the option to cum and go as he pleases. Anyways, the bedroom is always ripe for spontaneous moments of cumbustion, just as it is to give way to profoundly awkward instances of cringe-inducing failure. Here's to hoping these particular tales are more extreme than anything you've yet to encounter on the wild road of sexual exploits.
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People want to look good. Nay, people must look good.
But in his age of Instagram and Snapchat, looking good isn't enough. You must risk your life for beauty, whether that be a selfie while driving or a quick mirror shot of you holding the pin to a hand grenade.
One model said, the best way to get a good Instagram shot is to dangle off a 1,000-foot-tall building in Dubai. The model in question, Odintsova held an assistant's hand as she threw caution to the wind and leaned into 2013's tallest building. I would trust any assistant over a safety harness any day. Do it for the likes.
This seems worth it:
via @viki_odintcova
H/T Mashable
Submitted by: (via @viki_odintcova)
There's nothing worse when you're working in the service industry than having to deal with someone like this. The kind of person that has disrespect and disregard for other people and their emotions as they go through the day carrying tirades of abuse and crusades against all who dare to stand in their way.
This brave soul reached his limit with his girlfriend after she was disrespectful and rude to the entire waitstaff when they went out for Valentine's Day dinner. This abominable human being got what she deserved.
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I'm overcome with burning questions and emotions right now: is this actually Phil Jackson, and if it is why in the hell is he riding the NYC bus looking like he's one untied oversized shoelace away from getting off at the next stop to let the driver run him over? Seriously Phil, talk to us? What's up bro? Well, regardless of if this is Phil Jackson and he has one of those eye-catching resting bitch face's, or if he's deeply saddened; the Internet was there to capitalize on the momentous photograph with a rollercoaster of hilarious reactions.
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"Stone Cold" Steve Austin has stunned 46 percent of the people in this photo, including the president. http://pic.twitter.com/GKkz0cjB5d
— Dan McQuade (@dhm) February 15, 2017
Submitted by: (via @dhm)
Here's to hoping some of these convos that are showing all signs of the crazy vibe, were smoothly halted, and that our wearisome Tinder travelers are back to swiping right, actively sidestepping any sort of repeat performance.
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Nick Robinson — presenter of BBC Radio Four's Today show, committed the grave mistake of announcing Santa isn't real, on a live radio broadcast. The poor dude failed to lend a little thought and deliberation into what he was saying, and who he was talking to; and he felt the burning pains of Twitter-triggered regret shortly after. It was inevitable, unfortunately. There was no scenario involving BBC suggesting that the 'Father of Christmas' was nothing more than well, a 'father', that wouldn't instantly make the hate-juices to flow.
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This guy has been an internet legend for a long time, but it's always fun to run some more of his stuff, our most recent bout of his work was well received, so here's some more for your viewing pleasure.
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Things are going from white to orange to Red over at the White House, what with these newly discovered contacts between Russia and Trump's campaign last year. So why don't you sit back, take a big swig of that Mountain Dew Code Red, and let Seth Meyers make a really bizarre series of events very funny.
Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers)
It's your sucky day! (Ed: Sorry).
The folks at McDonald's hear you. Want all-day breakfast? Boom. Here's a McMuffin at 7:23pm. Want a smaller Big Mac? Boom. Buh-bye middle bread. You want a McRib? Sorry, you've got to wait for pork prices to plummet again.
But one thing's for sure, they know that you're having a hard time with that Shamrock Shake, especially that new one with chocolate in it or something. And because McDonald's loves you, they've hired the team behind Google's modular smartphone Project Ara to produce S.T.R.A.W. (Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal).
Submitted by: (via McDonald's)
Mia the Beagel isn't interested in your little dog and pony show, ok? She might've be running in the agility competition at the Westminster Dog Show on Saturday in New York, but that doesn't mean she gives a shit. She'll finish the course when she's ready.
"Don't be a beagel," recommends the commentator.
Um... excuse me? We're talking about Mia, and while she might not be all beagel — I doubt she's a pure breed — she's definitely all dog, you chump.
So, don't be surprised if she needs to stop to sniff at her butt or just stare off into the crowd. She's curious, and she doesn't care who the f knows it.
Submitted by: (via Fox Sports 1)
