Have you ever overheard a snippet of a conversation that left your head spinning? Like, you walk away thinking to yourself, "What the heck did I just witness? Did I hear that right? Did someone really just say that?",
Well, these people experienced exactly that this week when they overheard some funny, and outright strange, things.
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Nothing says "I love you" like a chicken nugget. Yes, that intelligible melange of chicken parts, deep fried and dunked in BBQ sauce is the only way to tell someone that you care for them. Don't try flowers. It ain't gonna work, dude.
I told him I didn't like flowers, so he got me a bouquet of chicken nuggets, and I pretty much became the happiest girl on the planet http://pic.twitter.com/H6zLpud8wW
— Annika Aguinaldo (@AnnikaAgs) January 22, 2017
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Busy losing my FAITH in CNN over here.
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What do you get for the boy who has everything? A Super Bowl ring.
Look, I'm not saying Putin and I have a lot in common. In many ways, we're very different. For instance, he's a walking human-rights violation and the president of Russia, and last night I ate too much Chinese food and said, "My tum tum hurts."
But if there's one thing that we do have in common, it's that we both never won a Super Bowl.
Yet, for whatever reason, he has a Super Bowl ring, and I don't. What, just because you have mysterious ties to the U.S. President, the reality-TV gameshow host of your dreams, I don't get a ring. That's some grade A, top-choice bullshit.
Here's the story of how Putin got his ring without winning the Super Bowl.
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What was your craziest college story? Was it stealing all the mirrors in the bathroom, shitting in the shower, or simply making vodka in the bathtub at two in the morning? I'm sure it was just as crazy as these.
Over on Reddit, the RAs are dishing some of their craziest dorm stories. Check 'em out.
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ONLY IN NYC! We do not know who recorded this or any details. Warning: Kinda disturbing http://pic.twitter.com/dqVmBV435p
— NYCFireWire (@NYCFireWire) January 30, 2017
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NEW #MeanTweets @NFL edition with @OBJ_3 @JJWatt @DeMarcoMurray @MichaelIrvin88 @TonyRomo @Kurt13Warner @DangeRussWilson & more... #SB51 http://pic.twitter.com/ESTwOVXeH8
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) February 3, 2017
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Thanks, Obama, but you've had a good run. The new catch-all, snarky response for any modern day oddity or inconvenience is "This is Why Trump Won."
It works surprisingly well, too. For example, I tried to return my half-eaten Crunchwrap Supreme last night at Taco Bell, and they wouldn't return it because I ate half of it and enjoyed it but wanted to try something else on the menu. So I stared screaming "This is why Trump won." It's like, what is this country coming to when a hardworking American can't return a half-eaten menu item for no reason at all.
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Definite chills down the spine with a solid side of shudders. These plastic surgery disasterpieces went too far, and then some.
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When it comes to bagels, I’m a bit of a purist. Only one toping for me: Everything. There is no in between. I want to bite into poppy, garlic, sesame, and salt in a single bite. So the sudden swell of gimmick bagels has hit me particularly hard.
The latest one comes from The Bagel Nook in Freehold, NJ, where they’re making *gulp* Flamin’ Hot Cheetos bagels. Yeah, a bagel flavored like a Cheeto.
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And you can get “Cool Ranch cream cheese” on it.
We are through the looking glass here people. It’s time to standup for what’s right and show these people that playing God is an abomination of nature. Some things were not meant to be tampered with.
Would you eat this thing? Sound off in the comments, and if one of you wiseasses asks "cruchy or puffed," I'm just going to lose it.
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If you look “best friends” up in the dictionary, it reads: @ACLU and @MerriamWebster
Yesterday, the ACLU Twitter account asked the infamous Merriam-Webster dictionary Twitter account the correct spelling of “Whoa.” That’s something that the ACLU needs to know.
Merriam-Webster replied and friendship was born, check out the interaction and what people think of it.
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Look, the Trump White House has been stressful on a lot of people. But it mostly stressful for Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conway, the two people charged with explaining the dumbass, dangerous shit they've been pulling. Sean Spicer is one “period” away from a heart attack and Kellyanne Conway had to make up a new word for "lie" to cover her ass. She needs a night off.
Now Conway is just pulling shit out of her ass to justify this dumbass, racist-as-shit Muslim Ban and c’mon. She went on MSNBC and literally made up a terrorist attack call “The Bowling Green Massacre” as if we couldn’t just Google that shit. GET IT TOGETHER, GIRL.
Twitter blasted Conway for this move, and the results have been funny. Next she’s going to be talking about the Conway Massacre because she’s getting destroyed on Twitter.
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What better way to celebrate 25 years of being in business as a leading production company (Matchstick Productions) with a taste for filming the death-defying stunts performed by maniacal adrenaline junkies, than to drop a supercut video that touts the worst of the worst wipeouts.
I'm feeling some legit placebo pain right now, bro. My bones hurt, and my toes are cold, and I want a giant cup of supremely spiked hot fucking cocoa after watching all these. Anyone else? How about a round for the table.
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Useless facts, the hallmark of any smart guy.
If you don't have a steady stream of useless facts on hand, then you're going to be regurgitating worthless garbage like "did you know that Charlie and the Waitress from It's Always Sunny are married in real life?" Everyone knows that and everyone's sick of pretending to care about it.
Here's an actual, honest to god, interesting fact that will make your next conversation a blast: The answer to why cartoon characters wear gloves. The answers actually range from the financial to the practical to the racial, and it's worth hearing about, especially if you like trivia. So check it out.
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