40+ Terrible Puns to Torture Your Soul

This ample collection of puns is sure to torture the very fibers of the being of your soul. If I was wittier, I would write some puns of my own here but you're just going to have to make do with some that I've stolen about writing instead.

"I'm starting to write a book about a tornado disaster

It's just a draft at the moment."

"What do u call a zombie that writes music?

A decomposer."

"My cavewoman girlfriend dumped me.

I should have seen the writing on the wall."

"I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.

Please don't buy it."

 

‘Only we can make fun of America’: American TikTokers complain about the U.S., but patriotically band together when other countries chime in

Who would've thunk it would take a stupid silly little Gen-Z social media app like TikTok to bridge the dived between American citizens? Democrat or Republican, patriotic or not, American TikTokers have made it perfectly clear that they will throw a whole British person into the harbor if they try to dis us. Only Americans and countries who have straight up been destroyed because of our government can complain—Europeans and Australians can sit down. Sure, we dis on other countries like making fun of the French for being rude to strangers, or the British for having an accent that sounds funny to us—but if these American TikTokers have to hear one more joke at the extremely distasteful expense of our tragic school sho0tings… I mean, Americans are wild ones and TikTok is insane, so who knows what will happen?! Many Americans take to the app to express their frustrations about their government and rights, they'll post for days dismantling different political beliefs. But the second a Swiss person comments they too don't like our government, these U.S. citizens TikTokers are putting their differences aside to join forces and defend their homeland. 

Couple Fights Because Fiancé's Mother Keeps Giving Daughter-in-Law Ugly Frog Jewelry

Everyone has drama with their in-laws at some point. Rarely does that drama involve ugly frog jewelry.

 

So here's the deal. u/jellysmoker posted this thread on Reddit's r/AmiTheA**hole subreddit about how her future mother-in-law's gift-giving love language comes in the form of frog jewelry. That's right, like frogs hanging off of necklaces, frogs on earrings, frogs on rings. Basically, this woman either loves frogs, wants frogs, or thinks her daughter-in-law does. The Redditor feels that the gifts are childish but receives them graciously. She was never planning on bringing it up to her fiancé, but he could tell she was slightly pissed off when her engagement present from her fiancé's mom was, you guessed it, more frog jewelry. 

 

The original poster did mention how her parents gift them with trips instead, which does make her seem snobbish. Other Redditors were quick to criticize her for that remark. Still, however, can we admit that perhaps the original poster was snobbish, but perhaps the frog jewelry gifts are also really strange? I mean, come on. What human adult would ever wear frog jewelry to an event unless it was, like, the zoo or something? Some people are good gift givers and some people are not. A great gift does not have to be an expensive one, but perhaps it does have to exclude frogs.

 

We've seen other dramatic moments like this. For instance, this mother-in-law insisted her grandkids receive a religious ceremony against the parents' wishes.

 

Keep scrolling below for u/jellysmoker's post and for the heated feedback she received!

Woman Secretly Brings Serial-Bill-Dodger Sister-in-Law’s Wallet to Restaurant so She Can’t Shirk the Bill

We all know this person, Mr./Ms. "Whoopsie Wallet" who never seems to have their wallet, cash, card, or phone on them when it's time to cough up some dough for something. With so many ways to pay in the modern world (who is ever without their phone?), it's amazing that these people have somehow managed to continue to exist. Yet, somehow, they've managed to continue not paying for anything and everything that they possibly can.

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A-Hole) by Reddit user u/Slow-Pianist-4431 after she found herself repeatedly vicimized by her sister-in-law's use of this method. To combat it, she took a direct approach and made sure that her sister-in-law's wallett made it to the dinner, by bringing it herself.

Now, she's wondering if she was wrong for her actions, her sister-in-law was not at all pleased. 

Commenters applauded the woman's actions and decreed that she was not in any way at fault. 

Scroll on for the screenshots of the original thread and reactions below. For more SIL AITA check here next.

 

Disgruntled Homeowner Takes Down Fake HOA From the Inside

This mother and homeowner had had enough with her HOA and decided to get involved and uncovered a surprising secret. As she delved deeper into the dark and mysterious operations that her paymenters were funding she began to realize… There weren't any operations at all. The HOA did nothing

"The HOA shoveled the snow off the streets in winter and dealt with trash collection, so they were doing something worthwhile, right?" her daughter writes. 

"Ha! No. The city controlled the snowplows and garbage trucks, not the HOA. But still, there was the illusion of effort. And besides, one summer they decided to contact a company to plant new trees all over the neighborhood! The fact that the company was owned by the son of the head of the HOA was totally coincidental."

All this money was being paid was essentially protection money from a mob without muscle. While it seems to remain a mystery as to where the money was going, the mother succeeded in taking the HOA down from the inside.

The poster of the story, Reddit user u/quietfangirl, had this to say about the fallout. 

"What was the legal fallout, if any, of individual members of the HOA that defrauded the neighborhood?" - KFY

"Honestly? I'm not sure. I know that's a disappointing answer, trust me I'd love to know what their comeuppance was, but as... let's say thorough, as my mom is, she's not really the type of person to keep track of people she doesn't like. I'd say at the very least the individual members of the HOA are no longer allowed to volunteer on another HOA committee, but beyond that, no clue."  -quietfangirl

Annoyng Coworker Memes for People Who Are Not Interested in Hearing What Crazy Thing Your Cat Did Over the Weekend

It's important to have a good relationship with your coworkers, especially if you work from the office the majority of the time. You'd be amazed how much small talk is valued in the corporate world. But we definitely understand how difficult it can be to resist the urge to punch Tim from accounting after he hovered over you for about 10 minutes telling you a story you obviously never asked to hear about. Patience is key, and mastering a fake smile is extremely advantageous as well. Will you lose your sh*t one day? It's possible. Pretending to care about your coworkers can literally feel exhausting, especially when they never seem to be able to read the room in terms of personal space.

 

So whether you love to hate your coworkers, or just plain hate their guts, you'll probably find some solace in these coworker memes. Just don't forward them to Tim.

The Most Metal Ozzy Osbourne Memes Gathered in Their Masses for True Fans of the Prince of Darkness

"Memes gathered in their masses. Just like Internet trolls at black masses. Comedic minds that plot destruction. Sorcerer of viral comedy construction." Yes, I just changed the lyrics to "War Pigs" to be about memes, because memes are metal AF. You can't call yourself a metal head if you don't know Black Sabbath. I mean, can you even call yourself a millennial if you're not even familiar with The Osbournes?! Seriously, Ozzy Osbourne is an icon, a staple of our culture in humanity. If you're a fan of metal music, then you definitely know him; if you're just a person who doesn't live under a rock than you're at least familiar with him; and if you're Gen-Z than you at least know the Prince of Darkness from memes, right?? His epicness in music is unmatched and his over iconic character is one of a kind. Why do we need a list of Ozzy memes? Because this legend needs to be respected in his influence on Internet culture just as much as his influence in music.