Good old Scottish Twitter never lets us down when it comes to portraying the culture and its seemingly incomprehensible jargon. For fun, just try to read these in your best Scottish accent.
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Tuesday, March 10, 2020
Food Horrors That Could Traumatize Tastebuds
These food horrors defy what some people might expect when it comes to pairing certain foods with others. Have you really ever experienced life until you've eaten cereal out of a bell pepper? Obviously, no. Or maybe you're finding yourself curious about how ketchup tastes in a glass of milk. There's a bright idea.
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An Old Man Shredding on Guitar
He looks like he just got off work from teaching 8th grade chemistry. This is Kenneth Petrie of the band Mr Spanky and the HipThrusters delivering a particularly awesome solo. The look doesn't exactly match the sound.
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Kid Is On Deeper Thought Level Than Mother
This kid's just trying to tell his mom that money doesn't matter. Apparently he was busy passing out money to all the kids at school.
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The Time Drunk Orson Welles Did A Wine Commercial
Some of the more infamous moments of Orson Welles professional oeuvre came when he gave into the world of commercials. For the uninitiated, Welles acted in ads for stuff from peas to cement, and he was featured in a string of successful Paul Masson wine commercials between 1978 and 1981. Most notably, it's speculated that a few extra drinks at lunch led to the set of wondrous outtakes in this ad for Paul Masson's French Champagne.
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Guy Trolls "Kyle The Scammer" On Instagram, To Oblivion
We love nothing more than a scammer losing to logic. It's a beautiful thing, really. In this case, a dude gets contacted by a scammer bro on the old Instagram, and decides to have some fun with him. Nice touch with The Simpsons reference too!
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Mistaken People Who Didn't Get Satire
Whether it's being so upset that they lose their capacity for rationality, actually wanting to believe a joke headline, or just poor reading comprehension, there is an embarrassing number of sorely mistaken people not getting satire out there. Sometimes someone will read an obvious joke and think that they're doing everyone a favor by calling it fake news. It's half funny and half disappointing. We've got people believing in time travel, wrestler cruelty, and everything else.
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Edgy Bot Texts Dude, He Has Fun With It
This guy got a text from a random number, and decided to have some fun with it. As bots become more and more evolved, it's up to us to have some fun with it, and play along. This dude did so beautifully.
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Spelling Fails that Would Make the Dictionary Quit
When people don't know how to spell something, they tend to get very creative with their words. This has lead to quite a few spelling fails that made us question public schools. All we can say is these are pretty entertaining, so keep up the good work with those regrettable and dumb spelling fails.
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Things That Exist Because of Human Stupidity
Stupidity is one of the only attributes we can trust people to have consistently. Because of this, we have to get extra explicit when it comes to labels and laws. Stuff like, "please don't put salt in eyes" and junk like that. In a similar vein, here are some jobs that only exist because people are dumb. And for some extra scary warnings, here are spooky signs that are doing their job too well.
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Employee Watches Ex-Boss Fail Trial Shift
This employee had had enough of their manager's irritating antics. So, they up and quit the job and decided to work at a rival company. As it turns out, the very same ex-manager that drove them nuts, ended up coming to apply for a job at said rival company. From there, the fail ensued in glorious fashion.
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Some Classic Facepalm Moments of Dumbness
People make mistakes all the time, and the variety of those failures is the spice of life. However much people try, they're gonna have attempts that hit the ground with the sound of failure. We get some daunting moments of disappointing facepalm out of the world from time to time, and mostly we can just be glad it isn't us.
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Tumblr Explores Human Nature with "Knife Roomba"
One of Tumblr's favorite things to do is expound on human nature in discussions, essays and threads about the role human beings as team "hold my beer" in the universe. It's generally regarded, out of self interest and flattery that we're basically badass space orcs. These kinds of discussions go on to describe Earth as the type of planet whose wildlife could fight off an alien invasion. So in this context, the idea that a human ship would have a knife Roomba affectionately referred to as "Stabby" not only makes perfect sense, but sort of makes us want to get one right now.
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Tagged: tumblr , stab , knife , human , lol , sci fi , science fiction , human nature , funny , space
Seniors Slack Off, Group Members Suffer, Teacher Takes Poetic Revenge
This teacher had had enough of some slacker seniors messing around and as a result, negatively impacting other people's grades in the class. Anyone who has ever found themselves muddling through a group project, and trying to keep someone else who isn't accountable, accountable, will connect deeply with this revenge. It's honestly beautifully done. Probably the most powerful lesson the teacher ever taught. Those entitled parents and kids never saw it coming.
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Dude's Cardboard Signs Speak The Truth
This guy has taken it upon himself to deal out some cardboard sign wisdom to the masses. He's spewing some facts. Are the people ready for it.
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Tumblr User Shares Advice To Squash Laundry Industry
This angry Tumblr user shared some helpful advice on how to challenge the laundry industry itself, after seeing yet another article targeting millennials for being clueless. It might actually end up inspiring people to make their own laundry supplies.
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Jerkbag Gives Server Ultimatum, Ends Up Paying for 25 Beers
If you're gonna be really serious to your server and demand that they bring you a beer with every passing, then get ready for your wallet to explode. It's hard to tell what this guy's goal was, but his words were the nails in the coffin. The service industry is at times lawless and full of characters, so you get a lot out of tales from servers who have seen it all.
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