Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Head-On Ship Collision is a Slow Motion Failure


An investigation is underway after two ships collided on the Welland Canal in Ontario in what looks like the largest game of chicken ever played by two boats. It looks like someone might lose their job over this one.

Submitted by: (via CityNews Toronto)

Tagged: wtf , FAIL , collision , crash , boat , Video

Kayaker Captures Frightening Run-In With Alligator


Yikes. Would not want to be anywhere close to this adrenaline charged predicament. 

Submitted by: (via Chad Goes Deep)

Twitter Thread: Man's McDonald's Trip Reads Like A Fever Dream


This man's Twitter thread about a trip to the McDonald's drive thru makes for a true emotional rollercoaster. It's full of twists and turns and genuinely reads like something out of a fever dream. 

1.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby It's 1AM and I decided I wanted a milkshake. So there's a McDonald's near my house. I'm greeted at the drive thru by the following sentence:

2.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby "Hey holy shit hello, you are at McDonald's, and I am begging your patience." 9h 17 244 356

3.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby 9h There are no other cars here, by the way. I'm caught off guard so I mumble "Um, ok you can have it." The voice comes back: "Praise you." 母189 279 Samantha Rae @ASamanthaRae 9h @JoshRaby what is your life omg 17 Josh Raby @JoshRaby So I sit for a minute, then he finally returns and says "please tell me your 9h order" So I say "milkshake" I don't know why that's all I said

4.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby "I'l need a minute", he replies. I realize I did not describe my desired milkshake in any way so I yell "I need to tell you what kind." 9h 구 174 222 Josh Raby @JoshRaby He is gone for several minutes. When he returns he says flatly "we aren't going to be able to do the milkshake. I do have many apple pies." 9h 184 229 Josh Raby @JoshRaby Do not ask me why I did this but the next words out of my mouth were 9h "Are you ok" 구 196 257

5.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby "I am not ok. Would you please tell me your order so I can try to punch it in? I will be very slow, but I will get it." 8h Reply to Josh Raby Home Notifications Moments Messages Me

6.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby I tell him not to worry, I am not upset, and at this point for some reason I order 8h a chicken sandwich 17 151 181 Josh Raby @JoshRaby My chicken sandwich order confuses him. Several minutes are spent repeating what I want on it, watching the screen as he tries over and over 8h L7 178 212 Josh Raby @JoshRaby At one point I guess he gave up because the screen just went black for a while. 8h | I hear a deep exhale. "Dude I lost my wife". 母208 248

7.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby 8h "I'm sorry, man, I-" "Please describe your chicken sandwich to me again so I can succeed at one thing." 母 204 257 Josh Raby @JoshRaby Anyway he finally gets it and then says "I really do feel bad about the milkshake situation. Can I sell you an apple pie?" 8h 17 175 207 Josh Raby @JoshRaby "Fine. I will buy an apple pie." 8h "Apple pies are cheaper than milkshakes anyway." "Ok, thanks" 17 175 219

8.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby Then there is a weird series of beeps and 8h when his voice comes back in he is fucking SCREAMING into his headset: "I FOUND HER! THANK GOD!" 17 186 235 Josh Raby @JoshRaby "What? Who did you find?" 8h "MY WIFE. SHE WAS WATCHING ME FROM BEHIND THE BOXES!" 구 191 275 Josh Raby @JoshRaby At this point I have ordered a chicken sandwich I do not want and an apple pie I do not want and no milkshake and I've 8h been here 22 minutes 구 206 351

9.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby "Can you give me my total" I say because honestly I don't know if I want to understand his marriage or if I even could and I just want to go 8h 乜183 240 Amanda Timpson @amandarin 8h @JoshRaby ..you're trapped in a surrealist French film, aren't you? 17 2 78

10.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby So he says "your total is 8 HOLD ON my wife is here and she wants me to tell you she will sell you 2 apple pies at a 8h discount" 구 179 204 Josh Raby @JoshRaby 8h "What is the discount?" "2 apple pies for only 2 dollars. You should take it."

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Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby 8h "What is the discount?" "2 apple pies for only 2 dollars. You should take it." (Note: One apple pie is $1.19) 母187 221 Josh Raby @JoshRaby "Give me the extra pie" 8h "She says thank you" "Tell her I said no problem" Why am I talking to his wife like this why 13 167 253

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Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby I pull around and they are fucking making 8h out in the window and he has his thumb out like he is aware I will be driving up to this 47 181 236

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Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby Both of these people are in their 8h mid-40s 구 176 249 Samantha Rae @ASamanthaRae 8h @JoshRaby WHAT IS HAPPENING?! 17 38 Josh Raby @JoshRaby They unstick themselves from one another and I hand him my card "sorry about this. I haven't worked at McDonald's in 16 years" he says 8h

14.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby I say "it's fine" to which he says "FINE just stands for FUCKED UP, INSECURE, NEUROTIC, and ERROR-PRONE" 8h 17 200 328 Josh Raby @JoshRaby 8h His wife cackles and says "I knew that when I was 13, get with it, man!" I have been here 37 minutes. L7 169 262

15.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby I am then treated to a story about how they met at a McDonald's that is very short and is really only "we met at McDonald's in 1993" 8h 구 175 243 Josh Raby @JoshRaby So listen I get my card and drive ahead to the next window and THERE IS A 8h WHOLE SEPARATE FUCKING HUMAN AT THAT WINDOW

16.

Text - Tweet 母175 243 Josh Raby @JoshRaby So listen I get my card and drive ahead to the next window and THERE IS A 8h WHOLE SEPARATE FUCKING HUMAN AT THAT WINDOW 母176 263

17.

Text - Josh Raby @JoshRaby He hands me my bag, leans out the window and says "you get to drive away" then promptly shuts the window and sits on a stool, head in hands 8h 구 227 890 thriving brat @shanevader @JoshRaby abahbhahaha 8h 1 Josh Raby @JoshRaby My chicken sandwich was wrong, by the 8h way

Submitted by:

Funniest Reviews Students Left For Teachers


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the funniest and most ruthless reviews that students ever left for teachers. Students can get real creative with the rare insults when it comes to their final words on a particular teacher. Would expect nothing less. 

1.

Text - thatyellowishthing • 13h My dad was a professor, retired a few years ago. He only ever had one bad review, and he thought it was hilarious: "Son of a b*tch ate the last chicken nugget in the dining hall. Great professor, but the theft of nuggets is a sin I cannot forgive." Reply 1.7k ...

2.

Text - scenicbiway708 • 14h I looked up my partner on RateMyProfessor. Someone wrote that he is so attractive it's hard to pay attention. I agree, random undergrad. Reply 1.1k ...

3.

Text - DungeonDragonRaRa • 15h Not a prof, but I had a teacher who mentioned her sisters favourite past time during her family's Christmas get-together was reading our teachers RateMyTeachers reviews out loud. Not a good idea telling a class full of high school students, lol. Reply 1 240 ...

4.

Text - Araucaria2024• 8h "This teacher is so cool that I can't believe she is as old as she is." Reply 219 ...

5.

Text - helicopterpurple • 12h It's two words long: "The devil." Twice. I got that twice. Either two students left it, or one wanted to make sure you didn't miss it. Either way, I whooped out loud and showed all my friends. (Understand, most of my scores are positive, and I do care about what my students think and doing right by them. But that just hit me funny: “The devil.“) Reply 319 ...

6.

Text - processor123 • 5h My uncle is a professor and he got into a dispute with a student a couple of semesters ago. My uncle caught the kid cheating red-handed because my uncle could see that the kid was on the class webpage during an exam, and then he looked at the kid and saw him clearly trying to be sneaky with his phone. So the kid got into all the trouble universities have in store for cheaters. But then the kid accused my uncle of being racist, that he's only being accused of cheating bec

7.

Text - AmberWash • 10h One of my fav uncles is a professor at a local state college that's pretty fancy. So my aunt and I looked it up. Pm everyone loves his class, clear expectations, clear explaining, but one person said they were worried about his teeth cause of how much Diet Coke he drinks in class. Reply 415 ...

8.

Text - Back2Bach • 8h The funniest review was from an organ performance major. He said that I was "the only instructor who could effectively teach organ technique and the performance of literature in the studio while simultaneously correcting a wrong note he heard coming from a piano major across the hall in a practice room!" Reply 368 ...

9.

Text - TakenlsUsernameThis • 10h A colleague once proudly told us that he came across some graffiti in a toilet about him, it said "Dr xx xX sucks cock" Reply 164

10.

Text - YutBrosim • 5h From my father's RMP: HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND WILL FA YOU EVEN WHEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER! My dad has no clue who this is, considering no one has ever told him that they had cancer and couldn't make it to class. Reply 52 ...

11.

Text - OdysseyZZZ • 13h My dad is a prof and he's mentioned a few times that he has. He hasn't mentioned any funny ones and is overall pleased with them as they are mainly positive with a few negative ones. Reply 34 ...

12.

Text - announcerkitty • 5h Something to the effect of "she's so awkward I would leave 30 minutes into each class." It was one negative review out of tons of positives so it stood out for a while, which I found hilarious. Not denying I can be awkward, I teach math, it's our jam. But nobody leaves 30 minutes into class, we do classwork every day and they basically get participation points for working together on that days topic. 1, I notice when someone leaves because they won't get credit and 2,

13.

Text - virgilreality • 5h Just that there was one review that very obviously mixed me up with another (notoriously terrible) professor. Fortunately, someone commented that it was obviously about the other person. Reply 1 16 ...

14.

Text - Coconut-bird • 4h I only teach online and never meet my students, but somehow got a chili pepper. I also had a student complain that I liked my subject too much. I had more fun reading my mother's reviews. I suspected she was a good teacher, but seeing all the glowing comments made me so happy. Reply 15

15.

Text - truesilk • 11h They gave me a bad review and said I was a terrible professor because I made them read a 200-300 page novel per week in a creative wiring class. No homework, just read it and come ready to discuss it. Imagine. I made them read stuff.

16.

Text - homeawayfromhogwarts • 5h My very first comment was: in all caps, "Don't take her!! All she ever does is talk about witches and fairytales and then throws the assignment at you expecting you to know everything." For starters, it was one day. It was a genre-themed writing class and we did one day on the fairy tale genre discussing structure, themes, etc. They read the "The Snow Queen" and then they could do an optional extra credit assignment about Frozen. This was posted on the day we dis

17.

Text - squishmi • 3h Not myself but my brother in law decided it would be funny to look up my uncle who was a university lecturer at the time. He found one student had left a review that said how he wished he was speeding on the way to class that day so he'd crash and not have to attend the lecture. In all fairness, my uncle was a shit lecturer so that surprised none of us. Reply 14 ...

18.

Text - ClvIStratagems • 7h Just a student, but I had a professor that I looked up after getting 3 weeks into the course because of how bad it was to follow every single rule. This was an English 101 class over the summer online. The professor had a couple hundred reviews with an average rating of 1.4. Two separate 10-plus page documents of rules with a third that was 11 pages of banned words and phrases, due dates that would be changed without an email or notification of any kind, and so many gr

19.

Text - DrAversion • 10h A bunch of students criticized me for using a fake British accent and trying to morph it back to an American accent too soon Reply 92 ...

20.

Text - asoiahats • 3h I was the undergrad liaison to my major's departmental meetings. They all do. It was hilarious to watch the ones with negative reviews rail against it while pretending that they hadn't looked themselves up on it; meanwhile the ones with positive ratings half heartedly agreeing with them that it's bad. In grad school we did a parody video: professors readings mean ratemyprof reviews about themselves. My favourite was the dean "'Here's a tip: never wear an argyle tie with an

21.

Text - NineTeenAnd53 • 2h For some reason a few students came up with some inside joke that my dad (a sculpture professor) is obsessed with eating hard-boiled eggs during class. They all gave him 5 star reviews but wrote about his 'weird obsession. He thinks it's hilarious and he says that new students still ask about it every year at the beginning of class Reply ...

22.

Text - MinimalistFan • 2h When I was an instructor at a community college, I got all of 2 reviews. One student wrote a 2-sentence review praising my abilities and being grateful for having me as an instructor. The other review was a poorly constructed run-on sentence about how hard I was as a teacher & how impossible it was to pass my class. I taught ESL, so it wasn't surprising that so few students said anything about me on RMP. Reply 10 ...

23.

Text - Rmandhana1998 • 1h Apparently, one of my student thinks I am no fun :( "Does Einstein's theory of relativity explain why time flies when you are having fun but when you are listening to Dr. Mandhana it falls out of the sky dead?" Reply ...

24.

Text - Demented_Liar • 1h We actually asked our physics professor this at my old CC. He said he did because he likes the feedback good, bad, and ugly and when we asked what his favorite feedback was it was one declaring he kinda looks like Ben Stiller. Reply 6

25.

Text - doggos_are_better • 36m Yup! I'm a young, female professor, so some of the comments can be pretty funny. My favorite one ends with "...plus, it's super easy to stay focused because daayum she's fine" Reply Vote ...

Submitted by:

Entitled People and Their Unrealistic Demands


It's not a sin to want something for cheap or free, but things become clouded when you start ignoring people's effort, try tricking them, get weirdly abusive or display unwarranted pickiness. Prospective employers will demand people have 10 years of experience for an entry level job, strangers will demand to use your Netflix account, moms will lose it over free seashells, and other various entitled folks will make frustrating demands.

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Cheezburger Image 9518694144

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Product - 16 m. 16 m - Was given to us also free of charge. We never got around to setting it up. Free. Pick up FREE MESSAGE Free Canon printer D Like OComment If I come to get it so far away it will cost $30 petrol, can you pay that please? FREE 1m Like Reply MESSAGE Free Canon printer Interested PM sent Next What's the O Like Comment Write a comment.. GIF) O II

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Cheezburger Image 9518695168

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Cheezburger Image 9518695424

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Cheezburger Image 9518695680

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Cheezburger Image 9518695936

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Cheezburger Image 9518704896

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Cheezburger Image 9518705664

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Cheezburger Image 9518706432

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Cheezburger Image 9518707200

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Cheezburger Image 9518710528

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Cheezburger Image 9518710784

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Cheezburger Image 9518711040

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Cheezburger Image 9518714112

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Cheezburger Image 9518715648

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