Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Seth Meyers Takes A Closer Look at Michael Flynn's Resignation and What The F Is Going On In The Why


It's been a crazy 24 hours for fans of journalism, the phrase "lock her up," Russian meddling, ill-timed phonecalls, and mass confusion. 

Yes, Michael Flynn has resigned after he spoke to Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak about Obama's Russian sanctions a few weeks before Trump's inauguration. Then Trump tweeted: 



via @realDonaldTrump

Because these guys know how to commit a crime. Anyway, yesterday Flynn resigned and this mess is just getting started. Seth Meyers breaks it down for you.

Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers)

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Watch Gordon Ramsay Teach Some Random Wanker How to Cook Using Only His Voice

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26 People Reveal the Ridiculous Things That Got Someone Kicked Out of a Wedding


wedding,dumb

People discuss the insane reasons that caused their 'friends' to kick them out of wedding parties and, well, people suck.

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Tagged: wedding , dumb
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Ivanka Trump Seems to Really Like Canadian PM Justin Trudeau and Twitter Really Loves It


When that reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year, Donald Trump, met with Canadian Prime Minister and cartoon prince Justin Trudeau last week, we all had our eyes on the handshake, while Ivanka Trump had her eyes on the prize. Yes, the woman who can't keep her shit on Nordstrom shelves because her father is PR poison, stared lovingly at Trudeau and the whole world saw it. Unsurprisingly, this opened up Meme-dora's box and the internet started writing Trump-Trudeau fan-fic 140 characters at a time. Check it out: 

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18 People Own Up to One Ridiculous Lie From Porn That They Fell for


adult entertainment,FAIL,lies,porn,confession,funny

With enough nudity and outlandishly sexualized dialogue, we're apt to believe just about anything. Thus is the ongoing conundrum of the grossly unrealistic average porn coming face to face with, well, 'the truth.' Some of these would have seemed ridiculous enough to fail to convince anyone they were remotely true, but alas, these confessions suggest otherwise. One of those AskReddit's that's both highly entertaining and discouraging all at once.

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Kid Thanks Teacher for Pushing Them to Achieve Their Goals In Unbelievably Dark-Humored Card


school,kids,teacher,dark humor,funny

Behold my fellow dudes, what we have here are the unmistakable makings of a child with a devilish taste for the darker-humored things in life. A kid who is clearly destined to grow up to be a Memelord. Where was the prophecy for this shit? Seriously, this kid is the chosen one.

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Twitter Is Becoming a Support Group for Survivors of Savage Grandmas


Grandmas are great, unless you get them talking. One thing that grandmas aren't know for is being savage, but they are savage. You don't see the bullshit they've seen, while putting up your garbage and not be hard af. 

In honor of the savage granny, Twitter is sharing the times when their grandma gave the least amount of f*cks. Join them, will you? 

via Reddit

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Conor McGregor Bobs and Weaves and Trolls 'Retired' Floyd Mayweather Into A Corner, After Rumors of Super Fight


twitter,sports,COnor McGregor,mma,trolling,Floyd Mayweather

Last night Floyd Mayweather tweet-sniped rumors down that him and McGregor were gearing up for a billion dollar super fight. If only he could've known he was setting the stage for getting himself trolled by McGregor and his pack of fanboys. 

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#MyValentinesRemorse Trending Twitter Hashtag Is Easily the Best Thing About Valentine's Day


twitter,romance,dating,Valentines day

Wasn't yesterday just fanfuckintastic? A ton of lovedrunk, pie-eyed couples aspiring to realize their dreams of finally living out the rom-com movie they loved, and you loathed...madly running around for overpriced dinners, and budget-obliterating bottles of wine at tastefully overcrowded candlelit ristorantes (cause that's how you fancy spell restaurants, right) staffed by polished and meticulously groomed waiters that expect nothing less than the hefty kind of tip that'll send a man into a brothy sea of Top Ramen till next paycheck. Yeah, all rants aside. The 'holiday' is over, and these people brought their A game on Twitter when it came to expressing their 'Valentines Remorse' or lack thereof.

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15 Freshly Humiliated Souls Admit the Most Embarrassing Texts They've Sent to the Wrong Person


humiliation,FAIL,struggle,embarrassing,texting,funny

Ah, nothing quite like the self-inflicted emotional pain of an unintended text-and-received, to complete the circle of a fail-inclined life. I'll take a gander here and assume we've all been there at one point or another: you know, the paralyzing realization that hits you like a train as you send off a questionable text solely intended for the SO's eyes, when it ends up you sent it to quite possibly the worst person possible instead. Yeah, the struggle is real. Let's laugh at the expense of these poor people and almost forget about our own texting struggles in the process. 

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Trump Trying to Divert Attention From The Massive White House Scandal Has Created Another Meme


As you all know by now, the White House is kind of in full-on panic mode over uncovered Russian communications between former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn and Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak. But in his Dear Leader-esque way, Trump is trying just about anything to divert attention away from the Red face of the White House. None of it's really working, though, because we're not stupid and want to know what did he know and when. As expected, the more we find out, the worse this looks for that reality-TV gameshow host who, get this, is the president of the United States 

Anyway, while Trump is saying look at the shiny thing, people on Twitter are making fun of him. This guy loves having people mock him on the Internet. 

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Guy Working at Cinema Finds Cucumber While Cleaning Up After 'Fifty Shades Darker' Screening, and People Are Very Concerned For His Health


wtf,Awkward,movies,fifty shades of grey

Is this just fifty shades of a distasteful PR stunt that employed a homeless cucumber to prey upon our darker thoughts, or what? Did you smell it, bro? Did you? Either way can this please not be what we all think it is? I really hope so for the sake of our foolish cinema worker that in his haste to claim that fleeting Twitter fame, handled the fishy cucumber without gloves on! Let's just hope his failure to layer up first doesn't breed any consequences. As you can see, folks on Twitter were rationally concerned for his health..

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J.K. Rowling Is Trolling Piers Morgan With His Own Words and This Idiot Doesn't Even Know It


fail piers morgan trolled by jk rowling with own words

We've been chronicling the ongoing feud between the most famous author on Earth and walking bag of dog shit for a few days now, but I think we've reached peak "J.K. vs. Piers." J.K. has started using Piers' own words against him. 

Yesterday, she tweeted this screen grab

And because this guy just can't stop hitting himself, Piers responded:

Of course, he fell right into her trap because he wrote those words:




via @JamieRoss7

Of course, Piers can't think of a good excuse other than "I meant to do that," like some idiot fifth grader who messes up a cartwheel.

Piers, please stop.

Submitted by: (via Huffington Post)

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Domino's Pizza Tries to Make Heart-Shaped Pizza for Valentine's Day, Ends Up Dishing Out Spectacular Fail


Dominoes,pizza,Valentines day

Time to up the game over there guys, because this 'heart-shaped' pizza only ended up looking like a dough-slinging chef missed his lunch break and had to take a bite out of something before popping the next batch of breadsticks in the oven. 

The context of this situation only makes this FAIL more spectacular: sounds like the dude's girlfriend was trying to surprise him with a heart-shaped pizza at work, which is serious brownie points on steroids. Truly, a lady after my own heart. If only the Domino's pizza factory in question was up to the challenge. There's always next year.

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People Find Questionable Donald Trump Tweet From 2014, and You Can Imagine What Follows


twitter,donald trump,election 2016,politics

The hashtag #TrumpImpeachmentParty made its debut on Twitter on Tuesday, and since then it's gathering a lot of steam. Someone could easily, rationally propose that the tangerine-coated, cheeto puff-dusted DJ Trump should've gone back and cleaned up house on any tweets that could serve to diminish his standings in the long run; but hey, it's just more fuel for the fire, and only plays into his impeccable Twitter game. 

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Nickelback Responds to Arnold Schwarzenegger's Twitter Slam and It's Cold Blooded


win nickelback responds to arnold

Yesterday we reported with glee that Arnold Schwarzenegger gave a quick slam to Canadian doormat Nickelback, saying that they have a higher approval rating than Congress. 

Well, Nickelback has struck back, asking Arnold to look at the proverbial Photograph, which apparently is a production still from Batman & Robin.  Then Arnold responded to that and the two buried the hatchet. Suddently, it became apparent that all the world events were converging into one. Arnold, Nickelback, gerrymandering? What did it all mean? Were we on some collision course with the future? The unknown future rolls toward us. I face it, for the first time, with a sense of hope. Because if a machine, a Terminator, can learn the value of human life, maybe we can too.

Submitted by: (via WIUX)

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Get a Discount At This Restaurant If Your Godforsaken Kids Can Shut Up for Two Seconds


win parents with noisy kids get a discount

Don't expect to hear a bunch of loud-mouthed, snot-nosed kids screaming at the top of your lungs if you go out to eat. It's like, wow, I can't even finish talking to my goddamn wife about The goddamn Bachelor without hearing some little brat complain that they just want noodles and ketchup for dinner. Eat a real meal, kid! 

So one restaurant is giving parents some incentive for getting their kids to keep quiet. They're giving a five percent discount for "polite" children. 



Antonio Ferrari owns a restaurant in the Italian city of Padua and was so pleased that a youngster could actually go two hours without making everyone's life a living hell that he gave the parents a discount. 

"I didn't know them well to congratulate them," said Ferrai. "It was their first time in my restaurant, so I opted for the discount."

via Gif Soup

Submitted by: (via Mashable)

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These NSFW Pics of People Who Dropped Their Food Are Horrorifiying


Have you ever been about to eat a nice hot meal for one, you got a bunch of episodes of Chopped queued up, and a friggin' chalice of Mountain Dew Code red, when, suddenly, disaster strikes? You've dropped your food. 

With precious seconds to spare, you scramble to scoop up your pasta before those five, measly seconds are up. Do you eat the food that fell on the ground? WELL, DO YOU?

You don't have to answer right now, but check out how these sad sacks dealt with it.

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Nokia Might Be Re-Releasing Their Classic Cellphone For People Tired of Cracking Their Screens


win nokia 3310 returns

It's a right of passage, cracking your phone screen. Why, when your children ask you about the day you became an adult, it'll probably sound a little something like this:

"Ah, shit. Screens cracked, and I still have six months before my upgrade. Maybe my mom can give me one of hers."

We've all been there. But apparently, a phone is being resurrected to help fix all that. The indestructible Nokia 3310 in all it's brick-like glory might be relaunching at the end of February, according to The Verge. 

via ASOS

That's right, all your old favorite features might be back: hard to break, long battery life, Snake II. Plus all your friends will be so jealous that you aren't spending your entire life staring at your phone. 

Needless to say, people are pretty excited about this:

Submitted by: (via Wikipedia)

Tagged: nokia , nostalgia , phone
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The Tonight Show is Destroying Betsy DeVos Right Now and Making No Apologizes About It


Betsy DeVos isn't one of Trump's most popular picks. Because so many people depend on public school, and this woman has never set foot in one and basically wants to privatize all of education, people are none to happy about her being Secretary of Education. 

Well, after they botched their W.E.B Du Bois tribute and subsequent apology, The Tonight Show "had" "her" "on" the show to make another one. 

Needless to say, it didn't go so well either. Check that out, and her first appearance, too. 

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If This Dog Riding a Scooter Ain't the Coolest Thing You See Today, Then I Desperately Want Your Life


Jeez, what's it going to take to make you guys happy? This is a dog riding a scooter as if it's the most normal thing in the world. And what do you want, "more memes!" 

Well, all I have to say is, this one's for me, ok? I posted it because I like it. It's got a dog, it's got a scooter, and it's got a crazy reaction. So sit on it and spit because this is my shit. 

via Genius

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Tagged: dogs , scooter
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