Thursday, September 10, 2020

Dad Slowly Reveals Huge Lotto Win To Sons


Dad had us going for a second there with the talk of being able to quit the job over 35,000. Then, of course, everything else happened. 

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Train Tries To Go Under Low Clearance Bridge, $2 Million Fail Ensues


Apparently, things could've been a whole lot worse. Yes, $2 million in damages to a train is not nearly as much as it could've been. Also, the fact that it was in the middle of nowhere, and nobody was injured are two bright spots in an otherwise grim fail. 

Submitted by: (via CarterMc3)

Tagged: FAIL , bridge , dangerous , train

Tumblr Post: Trees Are Bizarre And Freaky


This quick and educational Tumblr thread points out how trees are actually far scarier than we normally give them credit for. Cause we all needed another thing in this wild life to be wary about. Thank you, Tumblr. Keep doing your thing. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this imaginative thread that combines the Marvel and Star Wars universes.

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Tree - zafojones

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Text - Circus Tree: Six individual sycamore trees were shaped, bent, and braided to form this. gwydtheunusual Actually pretty easy. Trees don't reject tissue from other trees in the same family. You bend the tree to another tree when it is a sapling, scrape off the bark on both trees where they touch, add some damp sphagnum moss around them to keep everything slightly moist and bind them together. Then wait a few years- The trees will have grown together. You can use a similar technique to graft

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Text - beautifuloutlier As a biologist I can clearly state that plants are fucking weird and you should probably be slightly afraid of them. viforcontrol On that note! At the university (UBC) located in town, the Agriculture students were told by their teacher that a tree flipped upside down would die. So they took an excavator and flipped the tree upside down. And it's still growing. But the branches are now the roots, and the roots are now these super gnarly looking branches. Be afraid.

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Tree - reallifescomedyrelief But Vi, how can you mention that and NOT post a picture? D:

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Text - [source] natashi-san I am both amazed and horrified of nature as we all should be solluxismsnowaifu I love how trees are like "fuck it, P'll deal" at literally everything. Forest fire? Cool, my seeds'll finally grow. Upside down? Branches, suck, roots, leave. What's this new branch? Eh, welcome to the tree buddy.

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Text - rookstheravens I need to be more like tree azzandra I continue to fear and respect out arboreal overlords. fuckyeahwomenprotesting what kind of professor did these students have that they needed to prove him wrong so badly that they literally dug up a tree, flipped it and put it back in the ground?

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Text - sailorofships Sounds like y'all've never heard about the Tree of 40 Fruits. Well, it's exactly as it sounds. Sam Van Aken, an artist based in New York, decided to try his hand at grafting (e.g. the process by which you attach the branches of a different tree to a host tree). As artists are inclined to do he decided to push some limits and over the course of a few years he grafted over 40 different fruit onto the host “ including almond, apricot, cherry, nectarine, peach and plum varieties

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Tree - Shit's tight yo. Also we have a group called the Guerrilla Grafters. A group who started in San Fransisco with the goal of grafting fruiting branches onto non-fruiting trees of the same type.

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Text - Most cities have fruit trees that simply don't produce fruit because having all these would be a mess and inadvertently providing unregulated food to people comes with a lot of legal risks I suppose. These grafters seem to think otherwise and have taken it upon themselves to try and bring fruit trees back to urban areas. dangerbooze HOLY SHIT okapiandpaste THE LAST ONE

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Text - persolem Solarpunk as fuck! overheardinwod Reblogging for "I continue to fear and respect out arboreal overlords." your-local-emo-goblin Improvise, adapt, overcome Source: zafojones

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Man Dodges Speeding Ticket With Fart Spray


Well if that isn't a new and unexpected way to get out of a speeding ticket. Can't say we recommend trying it out, but at the very least this guy's got a story for the books. Well done, my dude. 

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Cheezburger Image 9547820544

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Text - JJ @FiretheGm Officer: BE CAREFUL AND TRY NOT TO SPEED BUTI UNDERSTAND IT'S AWFUL! HOLD ON...I'LL ESCORT YOU! GOD DAMN!!! <>

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Cheezburger Image 9547821568

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Manager Assumes Employee's Job Is Unnecessary, It's Not


We love a nice nuclear revenge. Especially when the character involved is a presumptuous manager who makes sweeping, wrongful assumptions about just how necessary an employee's job is to the functional flow of a company's operations. This presumptuous manager certainly got humbled. 

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Text - r/NuclearRevenge u/theFoot58 • 327d + JOIN 3 Manager thought my job role was unnessacary, finds out the hard way it wasn't Here is a case of two distinct acts of revenge, combining in spectacular fashion to create nuclear revenge. (thanks to redditors in r/ProRevenge for rewrite help)

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Text - About 20 years ago, I was a sales engineering supporting sales reps at Douchebag Tech Company, (DTC) A new sales manager joins the team, he was a former co-worker from a prior job, a petty little man. Prior were were peers, now he was a manager over the sales reps I supported. I had a seperate chain of command, he was not my manager, but felt he should be. He was resentful of the power that sales engineers in this new company had. In an attempt to show me up he closed a very large deal wi

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Text - Later, the manager calls me in a panic, and we talk with the customer. The sales rep and the rep sales manager totally fucked things up, and sold the customer an incompatible set of solutions. I say that the customer could exchange one bit of stuff for another bit of stuff, everything would work, and they're roughly the same price so nobody would lose any money.

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Text - But the sales manager doesn't want to do it, because admitting he fucked up would make him look bad. And he bitches at me for bringing up price, because that's supposed to be the rep's job. He calls my boss and shits all over me. My boss took his side, and shits all over me too, so I'm like fuck you I quit. A sent a very lengthy, detailed letter to HR explaining how the sales rep fucked up, lied to the customer, and how the sales manager and my boss tried to make me the scapegoat instead

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Text - I move on. Get a new job, do other things. At some point, I'm chatting with an old friend from DTC, and he mentions they fucked up a huge deal that they spent a year on. I'm still bitter about the douchebag sales rep manager and my asshole boss, so I post about it on a forum a bunch of investors use. The stock crashed $13 the next day. This will be important later.

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Text - I find out ABC is suing DTC for fucking up the deal. The deal that the douchebag sales rep manager fucked up, and tried to pin on me. I reach out to ABC, send them a copy of the letter I sent to HR, in which I detailed precisely how badly DTC fucked them over. I talk with one of their lawyers and he's very happy, especially the part in my letter where I describe how the sales rep lied to ABC.

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Text - DTC subpoenas me for a deposition. I have to tell DTC's lawyers everything that I told ABC's lawyers. Lawyer stuff. The day before the deposition, DTC sues me directly. Remember DTC's stock crashing? They're suing me for badmouthing the company and attempting to short their stock. (which I wasn't) However, there's a twist: Because DTC is suing me directly, I don't have to say shit to them at the deposition. Their preparation for the lawsuit goes completely out the window. They know they'r

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Text - They're dumbfounded. No idea how they could have fucked this up this badly. Turns out there were two legal teams: One defending against ABC's lawsuit, and another trying to scare people away from talking shit about the company on the internet by indiscriminately suing their critics. They don't communicate with each other, and the one team didn't mention to the other team that they would be suing a key witness in their case.

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Text - DTC settles the lawsuit with ABC. And they drop the lawsuit against me. And they fire the sales rep, the sale rep manager, and his manager too. 4.1k 83 1 Share

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Tagged: employee , FAIL , job , revenge , Reddit , win

Choosing Beggar Doesn't Grasp Meaning Of Deposit


Ah, man, you can't make these choosing beggar cases up. This particularly clueless choosing beggar goes for the double back on a deposit that they'd already agreed to pay. They refuse to accept the reality staring back right in front of them. That can make for tough negotiations. Check out some more entitled people and their demanding boldness over here.

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Text - Hey I need to cancel today I'm not feeling well, thanks I'm so sorry to hear that. Thank you for letting me know. We can reschedule at a different time. Thanks u can just send my deposit back through PayPal or Venmo com

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Text - Unfortunately, I wasn't given enough notice so the deposit isn't going to be refundable. Hopefully we can reschedule for another time. Feel better! Soooo Ur going to just keep the money Without providing a service What a fucking scam

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Text - I think your definition of "deposit" is a little skewed. A deposit covers your appointment in the event that you cancel unexpectedly. I'm not "charging" you.. You made the appointment 100% aware that it wasn't refundable if I didn't have enough notice. gave u notice I could've just not showed

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Text - And I appreciate that but unfortunately it wasn't within the 24 hours that I needed the notice. I could've filled that spot if l'd had notice. That's why there is a deposit. I don't think u know what a deposit is or how to run a business A deposit just secures ur spot 2 I went to business school Maybe u should I did

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Text - I sat behind you You don't remember? What? When? Well, this has to be so embarrassing for you. You copied my homework that one time because you said you couldn't get it done... because you weren't feeling well.

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Text - U must have me mistaken with someone because I didn't have any classes with u You probably don't remember because you were absent a lot... because you weren't feeling well. No I wasn't. U don't know me like that

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Text - Just send me the deposit back and we are good I feel like you owe me anyway. I let you borrow lunch money like 25 times in business school. Call it even? U DID NOT FUCKING GO TO MY SCHOOL But u need to go back because u are clearly unprofessional and immature

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Text - That's what our instructor told me. Remember? It was the day we went over what a deposit was. Nevermind, you weren't there that day. Because you weren't feeling well. Something is seriously wrong with u. Wholeheartedly agree.

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Text - Nevermind, you weren't there that day. Because you weren't feeling well. Something is seriously wrong with u. Wholeheartedly agree. U are taking people's money. U are a scam artist. I will report u to the business Buereu The what?

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Text - U should know if u went to "business school" 5 Hope u lose ur license have a WONDERFUL day! Also my uncle is a cop so I will be letting him know I know. I know him personally. We went to Cop School together. Don't text me again

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Tumblr Story: Avengers Meet The Death Star


Now that's a fun way to put Ant-Man's iconic toys to good use. We can always count on Tumblr to deliver on the universe crossovers. It would be awesome to watch various Avengers react to a sighting of the Death Star. Thanos would've probably been stoked. 

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Text - steveharrington scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker's power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don't know if you've ever been in a lego castle but it's pretty sweet peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but, north-star-lesbian Scott Lang, upon realizing Peter Parker can't shrink: oh okay no biggee, we'll just make the LEGO castle big

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Text - magical-awesome-kid Peter, ready to cry from joy: do you like Star Wars? Because I have a replica... and my friend Ned and I got it to fly... Scott Lang, a mechanical engineer and nerd: kid you are my people

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Text - letitrainathousandflames Tony, calling peter: ...and may I know WHY THE HELL IS SHIELD CALLING ME ABOUT A LIFE-SIZED DEATH STAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?! Peter: we didn't want it to crush any buildings so we brought it out here! Tony: THATS NOTMY POINT!!!

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Text - gingersnapwolves #and then Tony wonders when the hell HE became the responsible one#and promptly abandons his responsibilities#and jumps in his armor#to go zoom around the life size death star#pretending he's Luke doing the trench run (via) 153-centimeters-of-sass It got better!

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Text - aqueerkettleofish I was gonna SAY, Tony would fly out there, look at the thing, and go... No, this isn't life size. Impressive though. Okay, bugs, put on these helmets, we're taking this into orbit and doing this at 1:1 scale. joasakura Sam: Barnes is gonna make an awesome Chewbacca. Bucky: --

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Text - iconuk01 Guardians arriving back in Earth orbit for a visit: Rocket : When the **** did Earth get another moon? Peter Qull (with an indescribable look on his face, but knowing his entire life has built to this moment): That's no moon!

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Photo caption - literateterrarian (so this face?)

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Text - C a-court-of-dreams-and-assassins Yes Source: steveharrington #Ant-Man #Spider-Man #MCU #Marvel #Iron Man #GotG #Guardians of the Galaxy 271,937 notes

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Dad Re-Homes Son's Fifth Pet Hermit Crab


This dad asked the people of Reddit's AITA community whether or not he was in the wrong for taking the initiative and re-homing his son's fifth pet hermit crab. The whole idea of enabling a kid to have "practice pets" that are still very much so alive beings, is kind of twisted. On top of that, the decision to give the kid hermit crabs for his practice pet was misinformed and an ongoing lapse in judgement as well. Hermit crabs are very high maintenance, picky creatures that can also live upwards of 30 years! 

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Text - AITA for rehoming my son's (8yo) fifth pet hermit crab? My (37M) wife (35F) is really insistent on teaching our son (8M) responsibility. For the most part i have absolutely no problem with this. At 8 our son knows how to wash and fold his own laundry, (with our assistance and supervision) make simple meals like grilled cheeses eggs ect, and he keeps his room clean. He also has a pet hermit crap. My wife bought it from a pet store Thinking it was an easy pet to teach our son responsibiliti

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Text - So far i have been proven right 4 times. Sadly, we have had to bury 4 hermit crabs because our son sometimes forgets to feed him. I work 60hrs a week as an essential worker, so i only find out about the deaths after the fact when i come home and find my son sobbing in his mothers lap with her promising to get a new one. I told her and my son the last hermit crab he had would be the final one. He clearly isn't old enough to handle everything that's on his plate. My wife on the other hand s

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Text - Last week however i returned home from work one day to find a fifth hermit crab in my sons room. My wife had went out and bought one behind my back. I layed it straight out to my son and my wife that i will be placing a cheap camera at the tank and checking it every day to make sure it gets fed, and that if it doesn't get fed for even one day, im giving it away. My son cried and pleaded and promised to take better care of this one. And I can't really take away his "gift" for no reason.

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Text - But just as i suspected, after the first few days were fine, but after the third or fourth day i saw that nobody even went to the cage the entire day. Not my son, or my wife. So i told them that in the morning i WILL be finding a new owner and for every animal that my wife tries to buy from now on. And i did just that despite their protests and begging. My brother has a friend thats really into animals like turtles snails and hermit crabs so i knew he would be a good choice and met up wit

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Text - whomst_jpeg • 5h • Partassipant [1] if she wants him to learn responsibility then taking the crab away was exactly the right choice. when it comes to an animal, if you can't take care of it properly then you shouldn't have it as a pet - this is an important lesson and maybe you could explain it to your wife like that. it's also pretty bad to teach a child that pets are replaceable if you fuck up the first couple and this could lead to a dangerous attitude towards animals in the future. re

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Text - xflorentinaa • 5h • Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA Honestly I would be furious if my SO saw animals as "practice pets" and kept buying new ones but not taking care of them. Reply 478 ...

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Text - DormantDormaus • 5h • Partassipant [2] NTA. Your son's just a kid but your wife is the asshole. There is not such thing as a living practice pet, and shame on her. Reply 6.8k ...

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Text - OffMyLawnJackass • 5h • Partassipant [3] NTA. T like the idea of teaching responsibility, but animals shouldn't bear the brunt of the consequences for failure. Unfortunately, asshat pet stores treat hermit crabs and similar animals as disposable, and make a lot of money doing it. Stand your ground. Your son will learn responsibility in his own time; don't do it on the backs of animals. Reply 1.3k ...

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Text - Honest-Improvement22 • 5h • Partassipant [2] NTA. Your wife is the AH and undermining you. Stay firm on this issue and do not let any more pets into your house. Your wife and child will try to test your patience, but do not give in like your wife has. She's allowing these animals to basically starve to death - it's so cruel and inhumane. An 8 year old is far too young to have such a big responsibility as looking after a pet. Your kid needs to be taught that you can't always get what you w

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Text - mekta_satak_oz • 5h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] 8 Awards NTA Practice pets?! Tell her she's a practice wife, see how that goes down. Reply 19.0k ...

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Text - Sybellie • 4h Nta. Also its prob not just feeding that's the reason for their death. Hermit crabs are actually very difficult to care for. They need to have a friend so at least 2, a 20 Gallon tank, 6 inches of substrate, regular water and salt water at all times. Plus all hermit crabs are wild caught, sometimes they glue the shell on to them. Don't get hermit crabs, get a goldfish. Edit to add: fake goldfish :D Reply 140 ...

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Text - panic_bread • 5h • Supreme Court Just-ass [120] NTA. Your wife's attitude toward these poor animals is disgusting, and she's teaching your son to be the same way. Good for you for standing up for the poor creatures. Reply 135 ...

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Text - Crazy-Diabetic•4h• Partassipant [3] HERMIT CRAB CARE! I have 3 crabs of my own, and a common mistake many first time owners make is assuming the crabs are dead when, in fact, they are doing something called molting! They shed their exoskeleton to grow, and if they cannot do this underground, they will do it on the surface and will appear lifeless. The biggest way to tell a dead hermit crab is by a rotten fish smell. Hermit crabs are also social animals, and will be stressed if they are al

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Text - Connelly90 • 5h NTA Pets aren't toys or teaching tools, they're living things. In my country your family could be barred from keeping animals of any kind for a while for this kind of thing. The concept of "practice pets" is cruel and shows intent to allow harm to come to the animal. Reply 87 ...

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Text - Frellert • 5h NTA - it is waay to much responsibility to lay on an 8 year old child. Kids shouldn't have pets like that it should be a family decision and therefore a family responsibility. And 8 year olds brain isnt developed enough to take that kind of responsibility (of course they can still have some, like taking out trash and folding laundry etc. where you're there to guide). Reply 221

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