Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Humans are Too Strong for Their Own Good


It's kinda scary, kinda thrilling and makes you kind of proud to think that in some cases, your body can be literally too strong to keep itself together. Tumblr spends a lot of time on the weird sci-fi-ness  of human physiology, which results in interesting threads like these Tumblr users exploring humans as space orcs or this Tumblr thread about aliens being defeated by earth's wildlife.

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Text - not-a-bot-i-swear Just so you guys know. Hysterical strength is basically your body not holding back and going %100 though there is a great danger of you hurting yourself or breaking something since your ignoring pain and going %100. There was a case where a kid deadlifted a car to save a sibling but,cracked 8 of his teeth during it because he was clenching his jaw so hard. So whilst you can lift a car or fight off polar bears. Your probably going to break something. Because most of the t

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Text - karenhealey STOP GIVING THE ALIENS REASONS NOT TO VISIT. salamencerobot @celestial-naiad the whole one million percent smash was actually hysterical strength, according to horikoshi. on an unrelated note, did you know that if all the muscles in your back clenched at once your spine would shatter? have fun! celestial-naiad Thats a horrifying and empowering thought at the same time. silent-calling Also: when you are sufficiently electrocuted and "thrown back" what is actually happening is y

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Text - jadensilver This is the same stuff that stops you from biting off your own fingers and whatnot. Our brains just say 'no, don't,' whenever we try to do some dumbass shit, until we reach the point where it's either do the dumbass shit or die/watch someone else die. I think it's really cool though that we can shut off this function for others than ourselves. It shows a lot how we truly are social creatures at our core, that we don't just do this when it's our own body that might die, but for

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Text - This also means that anybody with a magical super-healing power would essentially get super strength out of the mix for free if they could get past the psychological limitations. That's probably what makes vampires so strong; they don't actually put out any more force than a normal human but they repair any damage they take in the process almost instantly. adhd-ruby-rose @krunchy-tuna why would you hide this hilarious comment in the tags #the human body will auto-yeet under the right cond

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Bill Burr Puts Rude Interviewer In His Place


Leave it to Bill Burr to effortlessly dismantle a giant tool. Interviewer should really thank him. 

Submitted by: (via Comedy of Bill Burr)

A Way Too Realistic Santa Clause Drawn in MS Paint


While today's artists are working with all sorts of mediums like plaster or charcoal or dirty diapers or whatever, nothing speaks to the soul quite like the classic MS Paint. Here it is in its time-lapsed glory.

Submitted by: (via Eclectic Asylum Art)

Woman Overshares About Divorce At Zoning Meeting


There's a time and a place for everything. Maybe airing out the dirty laundry from the tough divorce at a zoning meeting was not the move. 

Submitted by: (via thebinny66)

Ways People Would Ruin Weddings In Five Seconds


Someone on AskReddit got a wild thread going about the devious ways that people would go about ruining weddings. If one puts their mind to it, all kinds of chaos can be unleashed with genius effectiveness. Whether it's a completely random objection to the wedding proceedings, playing a bizarre song, or literally eating those little plastic figures off the wedding cake, people really let themselves go on this thread. Some hilarious visual imagery ensued. 

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Text - beaverskeet • 1d E 2 Awards Pastry Chef here. I used to do a lot of wedding cakes, and would have to move them to wherever the couple wanted it displayed. I always had a fantasy, if I ever decided to quit, walk out, to purposely drop the cake in front of the wedding party and act like it was an accident, and just burst out in tears and storm out, never to be seen again. So to answer your question. Destroy the cake. Or shit on it or something if that's your style. Reply 13.9k ...

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Text - VillyD • 1d 2 Awards In the middle of the ceremony stand up, interrupt the officiant, and publicly propose to someone else.

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Text - 3 Awards When they say "You may now kiss the bride" they never specified who may kiss the bride. Reply 14.9k ...

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Text - aimbot619 • 1d Eat the plastic dolls on top of the cake.

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White - FishBallGamez • 1d Destroy the Ring

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Text - LovesTia • 1d Thank the husband for letting me borrow his bride to be last night

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Text - Lamprophonia • 1d 5 Awards Show up wearing a large, elaborate wedding dress, propose to the best man, cry HARD when I don't get an immediate yes so my makeup runs, spit on the bride, grab and kiss the groom, and run away screaming about how flat the earth is. For the visuals, I am a 36 year old man. Reply 1.5k

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Text - BLUS-Gaming• 1d 1 Award Quietly stand up and stand next to the bride as she walks up to the altar. Straight face and everything, and refuse to sit down for the entire ceremony. If nothing else, it'll make everyone question who's getting married to who Edit: Wow! My first award!! Thanks! Reply 3.3k ...

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Text - bertram_sonnenblume • 1d 1 Award Play the Wedding March on kazoo while the couple walks to the altar Reply 234 ...

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Text - Back2Bach • 1d E 3 3 Awards Bribe the organist with cash to play "The Phantom of the Opera" theme as the bride comes down the aisle.

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White - Andwhy99 A • 1d propose to the bride Reply 7.7k +3

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Text - Old_Classroom • 1d My friend literally did that. She yelled that they didn't have the government's permission to marry. The minister was then afraid to go on with the ceremony. The shocking thing was that she was correct. The county clerk was the groom's exwife, and she denied giving them a permit. Our friend the bride had no idea, so she of course was devastated. The sad thing was that before they got the mess straightened out, her father had passed away so he couldn't walk her down the

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Text - Ron_Fuckin_Swanson • 1d Propose to my date and hijack the reception to be a celebration of our engagement

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Text - BellatrixLenormal • 1d 2 Awards Play The Rains of Castamere. Reply 3.2k ...

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Text - SoCaldude421 • 1d Stand on a chair and faceplant into the cake, effectively destroying the cake

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Text - R3ub3n_Th3_Third • 1d Yell fire. That worked with the graduation

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White - oatseyhall • 1d I Ross take thee Rachel Reply 1.4k ...

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Text - Pazlen • 1d Claim the bride is pregnant with your child/you are pregnant with the grooms child. And have 4 seconds left to spare.

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Text - TheStonedBro • 1d Yell "Bro, isn't she the one you said was hideous?"

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Woman Bombards Man's Phone With Storm Of Texts


This guy absolutely dodged a bullet. Seriously, there's a tireless energy to this storm of texts that are basically just a collection of red flags. One look at any of these texts is enough to nope out for good. 

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Text - Oh shoot. So sorry! I did not mean to send that! That's a little embarrassing My old phone didn't allow me to send videos and since I just got this one on Thursday I'm still trying to see what it can do and I dunno what I pressed when scrolling through my gallery but that was a total accident and now I'm really embarrassed so it's best we don't talk anymore く

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Text - It was nice chatting and I wish you the best of luck. Sorry again about the video. Take care I am really embarrassed for sending that That video was from over a year ago I'm not sure what to do l'm so embarassed Tried calling you back Should we still talk?

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Text - Called you back Not sure what to do here so I guess I'll just say, take care? Fri, Aug 9, 10:05 AM Good morning. After my embarassing mistake last night I just don't feel comfortable moving forward, I'm sorry. I do however, wish you the very best of luck in what you're looking for. It was wonderful to chat with you. Have a wonderful day

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Text - I'm very sorry we didn't get to meet, maybe me accidentally sending that attractive yet ridiculous video of me was meant to happen so we wouldn't meet because we wouldn't have worked out? Who know's? Either way, I sincerely wish you nothing but the best and I hope you find your person. Ae I hope there's no hard feelings

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Text - Do you have hard feelings because it didn't work out? I really hope you don't. I'm really try to be the kindest I can about it over here I accidentally sent you an attractive video of me from a year ago and I got really embarrassed. Yet I still am kind enough to go out of my way to at least respectfully wish you the best and let you know I don't wish to move forward rather than ghost you and leave you wondering where I went. You seemed like a decent enough guy to appreciate something like

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Text - Maybe I was wrong and you aren't such a nice or respectful guy after all because there is no reason you shouldn't be able to issue me the same respect. The fact you won't just tells me you must feel slighted and take me not wanting to move forward as you feeling rejected because I'm an attractive woman. If that's the case, I'm glad I know that's the real you because it seems I may have dodged a bullet and you're not such a nice guy after all.

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Text - Just because I'm an attractive woman and don't want to move forward shouldn't make you feel so slighted that you can't be kind and respectful to wish me the best in return. But if you can't, that says more about you than it does me and I'm sorry to see that. I guess you weren't such a good guy after all. I don't even know why I'm apologizing for sending you an attractive video of myself from a year ago lol

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Text - So what, because l'm an attractive woman you feel so slighted that I don't want to meet, you won't even wish me the best back or let me know there's no hard feelings because l'm hot and you freel.slighted? Seriously? I'm not the last hot woman out there. You'll find someone else ya know. Lol Whatever. I tried to be nice. You want to be a jerk in return just because you feel rejected by me being an attractive woman who

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Text - Sorry I wasn't interested in you. I wasn't that attracted to be honest. I used me accidentally sending that video as copout so I wouldn't hurt your feelings okay. But since you turned out to be a slighted jerk who's ego was so bruised from.being rejected by me he wouldn't even wish me the best I feel okay telling you the brutal truth, I wasn't feeling it and wasn't attracted to you. That's why I unmatched you and used me sending accidentally sending a hot video of myself as the excuse, I

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Text - didn't want to hurt your feelings because I'm a nice person who thought you were nice. But since you turned out to be not so nice due to your own personal insecurities of feeling rejected by me being such an attractive woman. I no longer feel concerned for you and your feelings. I'll be blocking your number now. Glad I made the right choice and didn't get involved with a jerk like you. I could tell you had this side to you. But again, that's okay..you can be left as the jerk who wouldn't

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Text - wish me the best all because l'm attractive and it makes you feel rejected like you're some how not enough when that isn't the case at all. You are enough, you just weren't for me or my type. I hope you're able to work on your insecurities and hopefully learn to be kind in return to when someone is being kind to you. I really did enjoy chatting and had you not chosen to be a jerk by blowing my kind a respectful attempt off rather than ghost you, I would have at least considered being frie

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Text - I'm not an insecure jerk who blows people off when they're kind and showing me respect because of my insecurities and feeling rejected like you so I still wish you the best. I'd rather be left as the kind person than the jerk for no reason so l'll just leave that on you. I'm sorry you couldn't wish me the best over me not being interested. Again, it doesn't mean you aren't enough. I'm sure you are just for another woman. Goodbye

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Text - Hey I just got out of a meeting. Just saw all your texts. I think you're right. We're not for each other. Wish you the best. Again, thanks for being jerk just because I didn't want to meet. Glad you agree. Makes.me feel better knowing me not being interested didn't hurt you. Take care I just got your message. Thanks and I wish you well also. My signal strength isn't the best out here in Pasadena for the video

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Text - shoot so I dunno when you sent me that response but I'm glad me not being interested didnt hurt you. I sincerely am. Take care of yourself And hopefully one of these messages reaches you cuz it keeps saying its failed to send due the poor signal. Anyways, I gotta run they're about to start shooting again and have to put my phone away. Hopefully one of my texts I tried sending once I recieved your response goes through cuz it's saying none of them are except one it looks like. Have a good

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Text - Oh, and sorry for calling you a jerk. Clearly I was mistaken. I really thought you were being one. I get guys being complete jerks to me whenever I'm not interested even when l'm kind about it and I've gotten enough to where its work my tolerance level down and I apologize if I wrongfully reacted on that to you if you were not doing that. Anyways, take care.

16. And it just gets cut off here. Doesn't even really matter at this point.

Text - P.s. I won't block your number since you ended not being a jerk like I thought you were With that said, I know I wasn't interested in a romantic way, but I make an amazing friend and because I did enjoy chatting with you, l'd be open to being friend's at the very least. So I would like to offer my friendship to you if you would like to be friend's? If not Text Message

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Double-Take-Causing Illusions of Warped Perspective


The eye is as good at identifying things as it is at misidentifying things, hence all these intriguing illusions of strange perspective. A small amount of playing around with the background and foreground of an image, or messing around with light and shadows can easily make one thing look like an impossibly different thing. It doesn't take a lot of skewed perspective to cause a double-take.

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Cat

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Cat

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Landmark - DI Shot On Xiaomi redmi note 7

4. Rafiki from The Lion King

Grass

5. Floating rock

Tree

6. Belly button belt

Eyewear

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Leg - Why does her shadow look like rotisserie chicken? pen

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Chair

9. Suction cup wheel

Land vehicle

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Cycling

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Moustache - ADXXL

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Cat

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Food

14. Impossible sign

Street sign - ANPR CONTROLLED DO NOT APPROACH a Soarch AUTHORISED USERS ONLY Siobhan H Just now DATE on Tom since the accident: he made Tough the night thank god but doctors say scarred for life. Thanks SO MUCH for your wishes, but the best thing you can do is tell your kids not to play on the railway - Tom was electrocuted even tho he didn't touch the power ines. E e leser encu cot Rm y SuvsTrain.co uk RSS8 Notice and sontenta let hare amly at

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Clothing

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Product - MEANWHILE IN CANADA... An Ottawa man woke up to a moose in his pool Friday morning. Kued Yoga

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Sport venue - BAL KI

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Body of water

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Play

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Water

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Fictional character - Blattman @davidblattman Ican't identify a single thing in this picture. Am I having a fucking stroke?

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Footwear

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Transport - feigut 17

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Headgear

25. Absolutely ripped

Dog

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