Newscaster Changes Gears Instantaneously When Earthquake Warning Starts

She didn't miss a beat when it was time to send out the warning about an imminent earthquake situation. Honestly pretty impressive work on her part. 

Cars Stop On Freeway, Get Wet Cemented

We're fans of spatial awareness. Sometimes people have it. Sometimes people don't. In this event, these drivers were lucky that a truck full of cement was able to stop at all. The stuff actually shatters the back window of that van. If there's a lesson here, it's probably something like "if you're gonna do something stupid on the freeway, don't do it in front of a cement truck."

James May From Top Gear Challenges Gordon Ramsay To Make Fish Pie

Let's never forget about the time that Top Gear's James May challenged the notorious Gordon Ramsay to a cooking challenge involving fish pies. Clearly, James wasn't too stressed out about the whole process. He's clearly having more fun than anyone else around. He also manages to make Gordon Ramsay laugh a whole lot. That doesn't exactly seem like the easiest feat. 

Best Insults People Heard Without Swearing

Unfortunately, far too many people out there end up relying heavily on profanity to drive up the impact of their insults. It can get to be pretty unoriginal pretty quickly. So, when you come across someone who has taken the time to rework their insults so that they're in top shelf rare fashion, it just makes the whole interaction that much more entertaining. Maybe you'll end up adding some of these to your arsenal. You can also check out some more rare insults that squashed people's bulbous egos over here.

Twitter Thread: The Saga Of Covering For The Adulterous Manager

Our bosses have all asked us to do some hard things, but lying to their mistress's husband is a new one. SincerelyDedra details the story of when the masquerade came crumbling down and she was at the register, having to answer all the questions. The world of customer service always has its surprises.

Tumblr Explains Burgergate, The Most Unnecessary Chicken Sandwich Drama

One of the biggest problems with talking online is that it's impossible to decipher someone's tone, but at the same time it's also very easy to assume someone is trying to be a jackass. On top of that, we never really know when we might "crossing the line" for someone who's freakout meter is set on a hair trigger. And to fuel the flames of this situation in particular, they decided to make like a chicken sandwich themselves and double down. What started as one chicken burger/sandwich correction rolled into a multi-day snafu that had people freaking out over nothing when everyone could have just gone outside or spent time with their families. Amazing. For some more stupid drama, here's a Tumblr thread on drama in the yarn community.

31 Amusing Updates From Jurassic Park On Twitter

This might be one of our new favorite Twitter accounts. Naturally, you can count on whatever kinds of updates are coming from the world of Jurassic Park to be completely absurd and brimming with danger. It is kind of fun to think about just what it'd be like to actually work at a place like Jurassic Park. 

Tumblr Thread: Impressive Knowledge From Dumb Sources

We all know facts that are really specific or complex just because we saw them in something as innocuous as a cereal commercial, and that's fine. It's important to get to look smart for a while. And honestly there's no harm done if people think you're good at history when really you just look at memes. Significant knowledge can be found in the most interesting places, as evidenced by this tumblr thread about how when archeologists are in doubt, they should ask craftspeople. 

Hopeless Times Customers Were Total Waking Nightmares

Anyone who has ever worked a customer service gig knows that it comes with all kinds of harrowing experiences where you're unfortunately forced to deal with people that decide it's okay to leave their moral compasses at home, before they go shopping. The amount of patience that you can be forced to exercise when working a retail job is nothing short of obscene. Hopefully these grim snapshots of customers being terrible doesn't ring any bells for you. 

People With Expired Non-Disclosure Agreements Share What They Had To Keep Quiet

Most NDAs are extremely boring. Like you have to agree to not disclose that your paper company has been fraudulently selling "eggshell" colored paper as "white." Other times you learn some about some murky secrets of various industries, or abandoned projects like "General Mills tried to make a beef-based breakfast cereal" or something. But that's just a fictional example. General Mills didn't try to make a beef-based cereal. Unless they did try to do that recently and people had to sign something saying they wouldn't talk about it. Anyone up for a big bowl of Steer-ios?

Goofs, Blunders, Mishaps and Facepalm Moments

There are times when we feel stupid. Maybe we forgot to put the pot under the coffee maker before turning it on. Maybe we accidentally microwaved something metal, plastic or living. But if there's one thing that makes us feel a little less stupid, it's seeing the goofs and blunders of people doing way more stupid things than us. Those facepalm moments of human moronitude may be setting humanity back a few thousand years, but they boost our self esteem for a few fleeting moments, and that's completely worth it.

Girl Wants New Purse, Boyfriend Buys Her Bikini Instead, Quarrel Ensues

It sounds like there might be some rampant communication troubles between these two. Specifically, the fact that Seth completely disregarded his girlfriend's very clear desire to get a new purse and not a new bikini is just a bit troubling. And then when his girlfriend yet again expressed to him that she definitely didn't want the new bikini, he insisted on calling her a spoiled brat. That was not the way, Seth. Not the way at all. 

Salty Old Man Pitches Temper Tantrum Over Salted Licorice

This guy sounds like he was an absolute, inconsiderate, irrationally aggressive individual right from the very get go. Like, the employee repeatedly tried to dissuade him from purchasing the insanely salty licorice and he just wasn't having any of it. Well, he certainly lived to regret that stance. Also though, shout out to the manager for putting the salty old geezer in his place. For another tale of malicious compliance check out the time that a grandpa's mailbox loophole took the mail into the third dimension.

Most Obvious Fake Lies People Were Told

Unfortunately, the world's in no short supply of people that are more than ready to spew their blatant lies. Especially when it comes to the wild west that is social media. You've probably already experienced your fair share of having to deal with total BS clogging up one of your social media feeds. Maybe these people's stories about the most obvious lies they were ever told will remind you of your own unforgettable encounters with grade A BS. 

Misfortune Monday: We Gotta Roll With It

No one said life was easy. But at the same time, no one said you could get T-Boned by a clown car. Misfortune just keeps happening. Every backed up egg sorting machine and decimated toilet gets us one step closer to our breaking point, but for some reason, our breaking point also seems tauntingly out of reach. Here we are, having to accept that life is just like this, every other Misfortune Monday.