Thursday, July 23, 2020

Canadian Legend Rescues Drowning Moose


The genuine relief-induced laughter as he's looking around at the end is some wholesome gold. Apparently this Canadian legend's name is Mike Ranta, and he's infamous for being a tremendous canoeist. Legend has it that he's paddled across Canada at least three times. Insane. 

Submitted by: (via Mike Ranta)

Tagged: Canada , canoe , moose , Video , animals , win

Staples America Ridiculous Logo Unveiling


And the crowd went mild. 

Submitted by: (via JsonBeauch Gaming)

Tumblr Thread: Humans Go Hard In The Star Trek Universe


This hilarious, golden thread dives into what makes humans surprisingly admirable in the Star Trek universe. Basically, they scare everyone else with a slightly rational head on their shoulders because they approach fragile, life-threatening matters with a bullish recklessness that shows all signs of insanity. Fun stuff. 

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Text - 5 lyrangalia Follow prokopetz Random Headcanon: That Federation vessels in Star Trek seem to experience bizarre malfunctions with such overwhelming frequency isn't just an artefact of the television serial format. Rather, it's because the Federation as a culture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, tooling around in ships packed full of beyond-cutting-edge tech they don't really understand. Endlessly frustrating if you have to fight them, because they can pull an effectively unlimited

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Eyewear - writebastard So to everyone else in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown. prokopetz Aliens who have seen the Back to the Future movies literally don't realise that Doc Brown is meant to be funny. They're just like "yes, that is exactly what all human scientists are like in my experience".

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Text - roachpatrol THE ONLY REASON SCOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE FROM A SPECIES WITH A HIGHER TECHNOLOGICAL APTITUDE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE ENTERPRISE'S ENGINE ROOM AND RAN AWAY SCREAMING roachpatrol vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core humans: we're going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast humans:

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Text - froborr I love this. Especially because of how well it plays with my headcanon that the Federation does so much better against the Borg than anyone else because beating the Borg with military tactics is nigh-impossible, but beating them with wacky superscience shenanigans works as long as they're unique wacky superscience shenanigans. megabeeprime Yeah, I love this. underscorex Reminds me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in high fantasy realms - they're basically Team Fuck I

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Text - roachpatrol klingons: okay we don't get it vulcan science academy: get what klingons: you vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you're also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way klingons: why do you let them run your federation vulcan science academy: look vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores they don't do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up

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Text - vulcan science academy: this is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they're offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experimen

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Text - the-real-seebs Come to think of it, I mean. Look at the "first human warp drive" thing in the movie. That was... Not how Vulcans would have done it. dragon-in-a-fez you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9 almost never broke down. minor malfunctions that irritated O'Brien to hell and back, sure, but almost none of the truly weird shit that befell Voyager and all the starships Enterprise. what was the weirdest malfunction DS9 ever had? the senior staff getting trapped as h

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Text - dragon-in-a-fez you know what, I'm not done with this post. let's talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fucking Pegasus, testbed for the first Starfleet cloaking device. here we have a handful of humans working in secret to develop a cloaking device in violation of a treaty with the Romulans. they're playing catchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a century. and what do they do? do they decide to duplicate a Romulan cloaking device precisely, just see if they can match

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Text - roachpatrol during orientation at a human college, vulcans are presented with a list of swear words. "what is the word 'fuck' for," the innocent young vulcans want to know. "surely there are more logical intensity modifiers." "yeah, you'd think so," say the weary, jaded vulcan professors. "you'd really fucking think so." there is a phrase in vulcan for the particular moment you understand what the word 'fuck' is for'.

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Text - thefingerfuckingfemalefury This is why the Federation is the only organisation to ever stand a chance against the Borg The Borg can adapt to the brilliant millitary strategies of the Romulan Star Empire, the Klingons and even the cold logical intellectual prowess of the vulcans The Borg weren't prepared for a starship captain to lure them into his 50's noir detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to death with a weapon made out of hard light

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Facebook Group Roasts Coriander With Fiery Memes


In the vast universe of the online web there is a Facebook group dedicated solely to trolling the crap out of coriander. What a funny thing to fixate on. Wait, maybe it's not funny at all. Maybe this is a very serious matter, and maybe this group is doing a profoundly righteous thing. Yeah, let's go with that. 

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Text - T Hate Coriander 4 September at 03:15 · CORIANDER SUCKS The worst kind of humans out. People that like Coriander are the same people that clap when the plane lands.

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Adaptation - ORANCER I Hate Coriander Yesterday at 03:15 · ... One guy. One Coriander farm. One dream. Get absolutelllyyy fucked

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Text - I Hate Coriander 2 September at 03:24 · CORIANDER Not a single second X THE AMOUNT OF TIME I HAVE FOR CORIANDER

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Text - CORANDER I Hate Coriander 1 September at 15:44 · Mondays suck just as much as Coriander. If Coriander was a day it'd be Monday.

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Adaptation - CORIANDER ROS T Hate Coriander 26 August at 03:05 · This could not be ANY more relevant right now. Fuck you (both). TESCO BRITISH CORIANDER PARSLE AROMATIC & nkle Liven up in salo

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Road - THate Coriander updated their cover photo. 19 August at 20:34 · O CORIANDER How to really spread the hate? Hijack a highway billboard. Get absolutely fucked you shit herb. CORIANDER FUCKING SUCKS

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Text - I Hate Coriander 13 August at 03:00 · O CORIANDER ... Turn it right up MY BRAIN A LITTLE VERY ANGRY ANGRY ACCIDENTALLY НАРPY EATING CORIANDER

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Green - CARANDER I Hate Coriander 14 August at 03:27 · e RUCKS Honestly, Fuck Coriander. FUCK CORIANDER

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Text - CURANDER I Hate Coriander 1 September at 02:27 · ☺ In the bin you go O Happy Father's Day to all except those that like Coriander. You lot can get in the bin along with the Devil's 'Erb.

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Text - THate Coriander 11 August at 03:08 · O CORIANDER UCKS ... Classic stitch up. Coriander: I'm going to trick people into thinking I'm Parsley

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People - COHANDER I Hate Coriander 30 August at 18:25 · O ROS Classic behaviour from a Coriander lover I love coriander

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Hair - ORANDER I Hate Coriander 8 August at 03:17 · O OH FUCK When you take a bite into your meal and hit a bunch of Coriander that wasn't mentioned on the menu...

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Product - I Hate Coriander 29 August at 03:24 CORIANDER It is LITERALLY THE ONLY HERB ON SALE. You couldn't give this shit away if you tried. afoods Masterfood MasterFoods MasterFoods OVES HOLE CORIAN CORIANDE CUMIN LEAVES SEEDS whHOLE LEAVES Clearance 350 MASTEFOO SEDS W $1.18/ $140 SAVE 120

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Landmark - ORANDER I Hate Coriander 5 August at 03:34 · O ROS What a majestic sight * T HATE CORIANDER

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Shoulder - CORIANDER ROS T Hate Coriander 2 August at 17:30 · O Fact. The different types of pain Headache Stomach ache Finding out your friend likes Coriander

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Text - RANDER I Hate Coriander 30 July at 03:27 · O ROS True story Coriander is just soap disguised as a herb

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Eye - I Hate Coriander 28 July at 17:55· O CORIANDER This actually happens... The pupil of your eye can expand as much as 55% while looking at something you love

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Text - CORANDER I Hate Coriander 26 July at 01:05·O Have a good weekend and stay away from the Devil's 'Erb, fam! Team IHC x How it feels when you eat a bit of Coriander that you weren't expecting

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Forehead - CORIANDER RCKS C T Hate Coriander 24 July at 02:39 · WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? When your so called 'friend' asks for extra Coriander on their dish

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Text - I Hate Coriander 23 July at 02:14 · CORIANDER RCKS That was too close for comfort. When you suspect this green thing you're bout to eat to be coriander but turns out it's parsley

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Fastener - RANDER I Hate Coriander 14 July at 02:54 : .. We all know that dickhead. Crosshead Flathead People that like Coriander Hexhead Dickhead

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Hair - CRANCER I Hate Coriander 11 July at 02:11 · O This could honestly not be ANY more accurate as to when a hit of the Devil's 'Erb hits your palate Good food Coriander

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Karen's Manager Request Backfires


Karen the customer insisted on speaking to a manager, and came to find out that she was indeed already speaking to the manager. Nothing could quite warm the heart like getting to put a Karen customer in her place, by simply telling the truth. The best part with this particular scenario too, is that when Karen finds out she's already speaking to a manager, she tries and fails again to stir up drama. Best eat somewhere else next time, Karen. 

Check out some more Karen drama with the time that Karen lied to her coworkers about a back injury, and ended up getting spotted at a pool hall.

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Entitled Parent Demands Public Artist Make Piece for Them


Who in their absurd, entitled goofy mind thinks they can message a public hidden art account and tell them where to put it so they can get a good vacation photo? This parent not only refuses to pay for any art, but they also don't want to donate anything, and they get real rude about it. You can never guess how low entitled people will go with their frustrating demands. For another parent interaction, here's an entitled mom losing it over free seashells.

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Text - I set out little miniature bob ross paintings around my tourist town for people to find and I have an Instagram specifically for the project. I post about it in the towns tourist page and people frequently request paintings be put out on certain dates but this is a first for me. 9:59 1 ll LTE 9:59 9 ll LTE I

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Text - You suck. And why would I donate to a black charity? All lives matter. Aaaaaand that's the end of that. Have a nice day. Seen Mocco go

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Stupid and Random Ways People Fell Into Money


It's extremely rare and extremely stupid, but sometimes money finds its way into people's hands for what seems like no reason. One chance encounter or ill-advised risk can land a very lucky few of us with randomly gotten gains. That said, once people have money, they tend to spend that money on the stupidest things.

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Tagged: chance , wtf , random , luck , awesome , unfair , money , rich , lucky