Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Seth Meyers Has a Lot Questions About Melania Trump's Confusing Magazine Cover


Melania Trump, the woman married to that reality-TV gameshow host who's currently our president, recently appeared on Vanity Fair Mexico to promote being rich. And to promote being rich, she is seen on the cover eating a string of diamonds, and what the hell?

Yeah. This clip is funny and the cover is weird. So enjoy! 

Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers)

Tagged: seth meyers

Punch a Nazi With Pepe's Punch-Out Video Game and Be the Change You Want to See in the World


Inspired by the fun of watching a Nazi get punched in the fact, the fine folks have CAFE are putting the power in your hands. Now you can clench a fist and take out a Nazi, as long as that Nazi is a smug cartoon frog.

Yup, much like the NES game Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!, you can engage in a digital brawl with a digital opponent. This one, however, is yes, Pepe the Frog, the Nazi mascot of today because nothing says Uber Mensch like crudely drawn amphibian.

Play Pepe’s Punch-Out!

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Triumph the Insult Dog's Outtakes From Trump's Inauguration Are Brutally Hilarious


Shoutout to the soulless walking wet far that pulled off a solid hate crime when she went and ripped up Triumph's cigar. I understand it might be tough to maintain a sense of humor when you don't own a television set (cause you're still on that radio game), and your ideal day was having the dirty neighborhood cat lick Tapioca pudding off your toes while you played BINGO against some senile dude named Saul that was only playing to begin with cause he already forgot about the last time.

But hey, I'm sure Triumph's got a fresh stoge on deck. So at least we have that.

Submitted by: (via Team Coco)

People Share The Best Drunk Purchases They've Ever Made


drunk

Everyone's been there. You're two sheets to the wind, and you decide that maybe you should buy two sheets or maybe just some fries. Getting drunk and ordering shit on the internet is a national pastime at this point and deserves to be honored as such. 

The fine folks over on Reddit are sharing some of their best drunk purchases. From managing their finances to sex toys, these items range from the practical to the extravagant. But the best ones are the snacks. Everyone likes snacks. 

Submitted by:

Tagged: drunk

Best News Bloopers of January 2017


Timothy Olyphant Tells Story of Wild Time He Smoked Willie Nelson's Weed, and It Lives Up to the Hype


Submitted by: (via Team Coco)

Tagged: marijuana , story , weed , Video

'Bad Lip Reading' Hilariously Roasts NFL Players in New 2017 Video


Submitted by: (via Bad Lip Reading )

Denny's Got Really Weird About Beyonce's Pregnancy Announcement


Everyone was happy to learn today that Beyonce is pregnant, especially Denny's Diner. You know Denny's, it's that place you stumble into whenever you're FUBAR. 

Well, you and Denny's social media manager have something in common because they definitely seem pretty messed up right now. This tweet they sent out to congratulating Beyonce is, well, something, and people are confused. Check it out: 

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Guy on Tinder Puts His Cards out There, Reveals He's a Definite Full House


tinder,win,dating

I'm ready to embark upon a full-fledged bromance with Paul, dude. To quote a particularly perceptive commentator: that went from slightly autistic fedora douche canoe to sexy, smart guy real quick. 

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Tagged: tinder , win , dating

Rest in Peace, Club Penguin


Take a Mini Vacation as Reddit Shares Their Best (and Scariest) Salvia Trips


drugs,Reddit

Don't do drugs or you could turn into a building supply. At least that's what happened to a bunch of these Redditors.

Describing their salvia trips, it became clear to many on Reddit that turning into a piece of wood is a shared experience among people who have taken the drug, which is weird and scary. But who wouldn't want to be a piece of wood in this economy. You always need wood. 

Submitted by:

Tagged: drugs , Reddit

Let Your Freak Flag Fly High, Bro


picture-captures-the-struggle-of-trying-to-fit-in

Submitted by: (via _)

Amazon Reviews Section for the Book 'Diseases Caused By Masturbation' Is a Comedic Goldmine


reviews,amazon,funny

The jerkoff artists of the world probably don't give a shit about the latest proclaimed condemnation of masturbation being some sort of disease causing evil on the world. The only condition a dude is bound to retract if he spends too much time making besties with his strong hand and a bottle of the Lubriderm (or whatever) is a crippling hand cramp with a side of tendonitis.

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Tagged: reviews , amazon , funny

This Guy Just Won Protest Signs


win protest sign nigel farage

There have been a lot of great protest signs lately. We've covered a lot of them. But is there anything better than one made on the fly and placed in front of a camera that directly refutes someone as they're talking. 

That's what happened in European parliment today when Brexiter Nigel Farage took the floor and Seb Dance, a Labour MEP, trolled the shit out him. Holding up a sign that reads "He's lying to you."

That's some expert trolling. Good work.  

Submitted by: (via @duncanrobinson)

Tagged: trolling , politics

Celebrate Hump Day With 48 Occasionally Dark, Always Hilarious Moments From The Sims


video games,video game logic,The Sims,funny

I need more of these Sims 'dumps' in my life, dude. If only I could've better document/been aware of how outright perverse and seven kinds of crazy this game was, while playing it as a kid. Because I absolutely don't play it as a current self-proclaimed manchild. *laughs in sims*

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This Third Grader Has No Time For The Boy Who Cried Wolf or Your Bullshit


win picture third grader wolf report

Look, The Boy Who Cried Wolf is complete dog shit. Everyone knows that people will continue to listen to you even after you lie. Like, look at, literally, anything the world. There are plenty of liars still getting away with it. 

This kid gets it. They read your stupid book, ok? Want a synopsis? Here's your goddamn synopsis. Now cram it, teach. 

Submitted by: (via starknolonger)

Trump Draws is the Twitter Account We Need Right Now


It’s been a tumultuous couple of weeks. Hey, it’s always a bit crazy when a new president who spent the last decade or so working as a reality-TV gameshow host comes in and starts signing executive orders that causes global chaos. Happens every four years.

But while these executive orders are sure to make most lives worse, either directly or indirectly, now you can imagine Trump isn’t signing them and instead is just making really nice pictures of cats and stuff. The @TrumpDraws Twitter is the spoonful of sugar we need to help the poison go down. Check it out:

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Texas Roadhouse In a Nutshell


texas roadhouse bust

Submitted by: (via @meachgotti)

Tagged: nuts

Guy Casually Drops Full Name of Wrong Number Caller, Proceeds to Troll Him to Perfection


trolling,funny,win

We throw this one around a lot: 'damn that was one hell of a roller-coaster!' But this, this right here truly was. What we have is a fine example of a devious, skullduggerous troll with an appetite for preying upon 'wrong numbered' strangers, none the wiser; and a mission fucking accomplished. The ending's a definite cliffhanger though: I can't be the only one wondering whether or not random dude with terrible spelling/grammar is going to go check out that imaginary porn shop 'Mike's Mortuary.' There's no way. But then again, the dude did kind of come across as weirdly desperate...and strangely forthcoming about it.

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Tagged: trolling , funny , win

Watch This Michael Jackson Impersonator Inspire Someone to Try a Backflip and Totally Wreck Themselves


Wow. There’s nothing quite like that feeling when inspiration strikes. Sir Isaac Newton felt it when an apple came crashing on to his head, and this dude felt it while watching this Michael Jackson impersonator tear shit up on the dance floor.

Except things didn’t really turn out as he expected.

Leaping on to the chair in hopes of upstaging this gloved dancer, the man fucks up this backflip and probably his spine. Let’s hope he makes it through this one alive because they carry him off and it definitely seems like he’s dead.

Submitted by: (via It does not matter)

Sean Spicer Facts Twitter Account Is Your One-Stop Shop For Alternative Facts


twitter,donald trump,alternative facts,sean spicer

Have you seen this guy Sean Spicer? He’s that dude that seems like he’s about to start crying every time he has to defend the Trump administration’s poorly thought out schemes. Does Trump need someone to defend crowd size? Send Spicer. Does Trump need someone to explain why he used the word “Ban” in regards to his Muslim Ban? Send Spicer.

However, with the limitations of the 24-hour news cycle it’s hard to get all the Sean Spicer we want, nay, need. So someone, thankfully, started the twitter account @SeanSpicerFacts, which is home to dozens of fake and hilarious Alternative Facts. Check out the best ones:

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Amazing Instagram Account Takes Fun Fact Wednesday to the Next Level With Beautiful Women That Have Hots for Education


women,true facts

This is the ideal way to digest information: fun facts, for sure.

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Tagged: women , true facts

Lock Your Doors Because This Moose Broke Into a House and Shit In The Basement


fail moose breaks into basement

It could happen to you. The one night you forget to lock your doors is the night you put your entire family at risk. Intruders can break in and shit in your basement. Those intruder: Moose. How do we stop them: Undetermined.

Take this Idaho family as a blanket statement for an unnecessary fear that the rest of America should base their foreign policy on. If one moose can break into one house, what's to stop another moose from breaking into another house. 

via GIPHY

According to UPI, "The Idaho Department of Fish and Game said Senior Conservation Officer Alex Head responded Saturday night to a Hailey home where a cow moose was reported to be in the finished basement."

Apparently, the moose broke through a window and trapped itself in the basement. When will this madness end? I mean look at all this shit the moose left: 



via Idaho Fish and Game

The moose was eventually set free to bring its reign of terror to the Idaho countryside. The only question now is, when will this western menace strike again. 

Submitted by: (via Idaho.gov)

Tagged: poop , moose

Jimmy Kimmel Goes Around Hollywood Boulevard to Ask Couples How Many Times a Month They Have Sex


J.K. Rowling Has Been Busy Viciously Tearing Alt-Right Twitter Trolls Apart, and These Are Some of Her Latest Victims


twitter,Harry Potter,jk rowling,trolling

J.K. Rowling's been wielding that electric wit with brutal, knifelike precision lately, when it comes to run of the mill alt-right cucks going after her on Twitter. These are some of the latest victims to her words of sweet savagery. 

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