Friday, May 15, 2015
He's Going to Need to Go Long for This Catch. Like, Really REALLY Long
#Brands Still Don't Know How #Memes Can Improve Their #Engagement
Employees Fired After Leaving Coffin in Hearse to Get Coffee
A hearse driver and funeral director made a pit stop, leaving the body and coffin of the veteran they were transporting in the hearse. They were on their way to a funeral service and left the hearse waiting in the parking lot while they took a coffee break. Both employees were fired for this thoughtless and disrespectful move when it was brought to the attention of Veterans Funeral Care, the funeral home they were working for.
Submitted by: (via CBS News)
This Spoken Word Battle Starts Vicious, Then Surprisingly Touching by the End
I mean, as touching as a series of scathing fat jokes can be in this context.
Submitted by: (via NPK CN)
An Amateur Rapper Gives Out His Real Phone Number on Facebook, Gets Surprised at the $6000 Phone Bill
In just four days, you too can totally destroy your phone bill! On the bright side, at least that means you have a lot of fans!
Submitted by: (via Bro Bible)
This Florida Newspaper Has the Most Unfortunate Ad Placement in Recent Memory
Tragedy struck in a Jacksonville community when two young men opened fire in a school bus and shot two students.
But then this happened.
Yikes.
That's a sticker advertisement (placed on the front page of each issue) for an upcoming gun show, offering discounted admission to those interested. In a statement from a Times-Union Audience Relationship representative, the paper formally apologized for what has to be the worst case of coincidental timing imaginable.
Submitted by: (via Gawker)
Domino's is Going to Let Us Order Pizza With Emoji, Because We Are Truly #Blessed
By the way, those above tweets are what Domino's considers an official announcement via their social media channels. Because #brands.
The idea is that you'll be able to register your Twitter handle with your existing Domino's pizza account, at which point you can throw a tweet at the Domino's corporate handle. They'll send you an automated direct message, and then BOOM. Pizza to your door.
What beautiful times we live in.
Submitted by: (via Mashable)
A UK Man Has a Colossal Sneezing Fit and Uncovers a 40-Year-Old Secret
Steve Easton of Surrey in the UK suffered a terrible sneezing fit, and when he was done he pulled a rubber dart cap from his nose. After telling his mother about the event, she recalled a story he had forgotten from when Steve was just 7 or 8 years old. As it turns out, he was taken to the hospital after getting a dart stuck up his nose as a kid, where doctors were unable to find it after X-rays.
Here's Easton telling it in his own words:
Submitted by: (via BBC)
U2's The Edge Lives Up to His Name, Walks Right Off the Stage During a Performance
If that headline looks familiar, it's only because that's the joke that the famed U2 guitar player is going to have to live with for the next six months of his life. There he is in Vancouver during Thursday night's show, perfecting his art of "holding down a few chords and letting it reverb" before accidentally taking a Looney Tunes step right over the edge.
Once the cartoon dust settled, The Edge only had a few minor injuries and the show continued on as normal. Whether or not that's a good thing, we'll leave up to you.
Submitted by: (via RockArchives)
This Poor Girl Trips and Eats it Hard While Getting Her Diploma. Welcome to Adult Life!
There's really no better way to encapsulate the feeling of entering the adult world than stumble-walking for 26 seconds in impractical heels before toppling over unceremoniously.
For maximum effect, listen to this while watching the video:
Submitted by: (via K945)
Why in the World Did This Russian Woman's Car Explode?
Current speculation is that vehicle uses a LPG fuel system that is none too friendly to the cigarette the woman just lit up.
That, or a haunted car. We're not experts here.
Probably just a haunted car.
Submitted by: (via Alexey alsae)
The Foo Fighters Continue to be Awesome, Play a County Fair as a Cover Band Called "Chevy Metal"
The band has been a side project of drummer Taylor Hawkins, but this time the rest of the band decided to step in at the Conejo Valley Days in Thousand Oaks, California.
Submitted by: (via Eric H)
Student is Suing School After Failing Class Twice
Jennifer Burbella is a nursing student who is suing her school after failing to pass a required course twice. She says that accommodations were not met for disabilities she is suffering such as anxiety and depression. Burbella is seeking at least $75,000 in damages. Her lawyer told WNEP 16 that what she hopes to accomplish is the chance to re-take the test with the accommodations that she needs.
Submitted by: (via WNEP 16)
There is No National Tragedy or Disaster That Donald Trump Won't Use to Promote Himself
That second tweet has since been deleted from his main account, but that's everyone's favorite follically-challenged suit-wearing orangutan using the recent train crash in Pennsylvania as a talking point for his own political agenda.
Keeping it classy as always, Trump.
Submitted by: (via Mediaite)
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