FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 04/02/20

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Throwback Gem: Michael Shannon Reads Insane Sorority Letter

This is one of the great videos of all time. Michael Shannon, seen as a phenomenal actor by some folks, provides a dramatic reading of the infamous, insane Delta Gamma sorority letter. It does not disappoint. His narration really carries you along for quite the absurd ride.

Submitted by: (via Funny Or Die)

Tagged: crazy , michael shannon , awesome , ridiculous , Video , sorority

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Guy Intentionally Sings One Syllable Out Of Sync

This performance ends up being more impressive than if he got it right.

Submitted by: (via Jay Foreman)

Tagged: Music , singing , awesome , ridiculous , Video

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Ultima Online Player Takes Ultimate Revenge As Maniacal Barkeep

Never underestimate how far an Ultima Online player will go to exact a brutal, calculated, utterly genius revenge on tons of unsuspecting players. This dude outdid himself. Truly. The attention to detail, and the fact that he had his character keep a running log of all of his grievances to explain why he'd take such a devastating revenge on the game's population, was absurd. Just absurd.

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Text - officialgarrusvakarian 5 greyyourwarden shock if fallout 76 really is a world where "every character is a real person" & there's no NPCS im making it my civic duty to be like this lowly tavern barkeep and then once i've established enough of a rapport i'm going to nuke all of west virginia and it will be in character

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Text - teamOplayero someone help where's the screenshot of some post somewhere about the mmo player who barkept for a longass time then fucked absolutely everyone over

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Text - yes-sica God I spent countless hours as a teen playing on a heavily modded and roleplay enforced ultima online server. I played Cedric Sartone, simple farmer turned tavern owner who eventually turned it into THE BEST PLACE IN TOWN. It was poppin every night, I was buddies with every adventurer, soldier, mage, druid, and ranger that played the game. After they went out and grinded their skills and did their quests, I was waiting for them with a warm fire and plenty of ale. I'd buy their in

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Text - Little did they know I had a side hobby, I was brewing massive amounts of the most gamebreakingly toxic poison possible. For over a year I roleplayed with these people as a simple barman, pretended to be their friend and confidant, and then during a harvest festival where every player on our server was in attendance and I was payed to provide the food and drink... I poisoned every last morsel of food, every drop of drink and after the reagent delivered his speech and all of these fools ra

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Text - Now this was a permanent death server (hardcore rpers mind you) and some had been playing those characters for 8 years and there they all were, collapsed and dying. Soon they were all unconscious, as you could only die if you went unconscious three times in one day or if a certain psychotic bartender came and cut off your head... which I did to every player in our group of 38. They were all there, and unfortunately so was I. Revenge against what, you ask?

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Text - So the server had a pretty strict policy regarding pvp and pk, essentially the GMs had to determine if there was in character justification for any instance of disputed player killing, obviously my situation prompted a call for an investigation. I understood those rules from the start though, and I kept a written log in the game where I detailed my character's building hatred of every single other player character in the world. He would keep track of every little thing from petty slights,

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Text - So Elias was always whistling, well I recorded how infuriating Cedric found it in his journal, and soon he had multiple journals packed full of a thousand reasons an unstable maniac could use to justifiably (re: server rules) murder anyone. The reagent who was also the server admin had some ornate cloak with a custom texture, so I wrote like three pages about how pompous it was, and extrapolated what kind of insufferable prick he must have been for wearing it.

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Text - I would just write one or two things down every day for over a year, so I had many books full for the GMs to locate in the tavern basement and read through. The result was that they found my massacre to be in good form and in-character, so the server was not rolled back and instead they decided to reset and implement a new landmass they had been working on. Some people were really pissed off, mostly a handful of the veteran players who had been top dog for several years in their little gl

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Text - I only did any of it because my first character was murdered by some overzealous asshole who just used his character to project his inferiority complex. He killed me on my second day on the server because I wandered into the funeral of his friend (it was taking place in the middle of town and there was a crowd, of course I was curious) and because I was not invited and he was a known prick it was found justifiable for his character to kill mine because of the emotional turmoil blah blah.

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Tagged: tumblr , Video Game Coverage , revenge , ridiculous , video games , video game logic , funny

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Guy Siphoning Gas While Smoking Blows Up Car

What started off as the inconvenience of having one's gas tank siphoned ended as a major let down when the jackass accidentally lit everything on fire. In a more just world, this would've happened to the thief's car, but no, he just drives off. All you can really say is that at least he didn't get much gas.

Submitted by: (via Tom McLennan)

Tagged: wtf , FAIL , fire , cars , jerk , ridiculous , smoking , stupid , thief

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Dad Orders Box Of Crickets, Wrongly Assumes They're Sealed Off

This story about a dad who ordered a box of crickets for the family's pet lizard, never gets old. Apparently, dad assumed that the crickets arrived in a box, sealed off, and not susceptible to breaking free to get absolutely everywhere. Dad was very wrong. His assumption resulted in just the kind of chaos that folks can get a kick out of. I mean, at least the cats experienced a dreamy day of wonderful play.

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Tagged: crickets , twitter , FAIL , pets , social media , ridiculous , funny

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Deceptive Ads and Bad Products Designed by Jackholes

The idea behind having a good product is that more people will buy it, but sadly, companies still lie and abuse their users and customers with all sorts of manipulative products designed by jerks. Sometimes it's not even manipulative. Sometimes it's just stupidly inconvenient. Can't people just sell stuff that's decent without having to resort to having terrible products and services?