FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 04/22/20

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Twitter Thread: USPS Worker's Thoughts On Saving Post Office

A big thanks to USPS for all that they do. Now more than ever.

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipshit3 Okay, l've been with USPS for several years now, so here's my big dumb #SaveThePostOffice thread. I don't know how many tweets it's gonna take for me to ramble through my thoughts, so stick with me. Or don't, whatever. 18:37 · 4/10/20 · Twitter Web App 13.5K Retweets 27K Likes Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v Replying to @lildipshit3 First things first: we're not taxpayer funded. At all. Sure, we get government monopolies on certain things of valu

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v Second: our financial issues, while not ENTIRELY from the 2006 PAEA bill that required 70 years of retiree prefunds, are mostly artificial. They would not exist if not for a congressional lame duck bill passed mostly by a certain political party on their way out the power door O 14 27676 ♡ 4,513 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v Third: We're in the constitution. Literally. You know that thing you occasionally pretend to love when it serves y

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d Fifth: You can be certain, if given the chance, certain politicians would love to GIVE AWAY this infrastructure, a la the $70 billion in digital broadcast licenses they gave away for free to Telecom companies in 1996 with no strings attached. 27735 ♡ 4,820 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v So, why should you not want this? Well, for starters, if you're not in a major city, you've been subsidized by one via the post office for decades. It's a l

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... 1d v Now, no one likes their junk mail, but you know what? Carrying 4 Geico ads and a Subway coupon in my satchel with your card is the reason the latter only cost $0.50 to cross the country. And if you'd like to name a cheaper way to ship a book or a record, l'd like to hear it. O 20 27552 ♡ 5,076 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v But the one thing I pride myself on the most in terms of service is something you can guarantee won't happen in privat

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v I work in a position called a "T6," or a "Carrier Technician." Put simply: USPS delivers 6 days a week, and employees work 5 days. For every 5 routes in an office, there's a T6 to carry the 6th day on each of those 5 routes who have a regular the other 5 days. Full-time position 27 393 3,894 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v In my case, that's 5 routes, averaging 700 addresses each, totaling 3,500 addresses, and approx 10K names and faces. N

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v I know whose lawns to not cut across, whose dogs want to bite, and whose want to play. I know whose day will be made brighter with a short convo, and who wants me to go away. I know who is bad at checking the mail, and who to call for a wellness check on if it starts to pile dn 16 27442 ♡ 5,243 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v For millions across the country, we're the only face they often see all day, even before social distancing. Their c

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... - 1d v And the reason to bring this all up is to say that it's all in jeopardy in a private market. There's no profit to be had in uniform pricing or remote delivery locations. There's no profit in being your community's friendly face. 27475 ♡ 4,032 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v There's no profit in me receiving dozens of incorrectly addressed pieces of mail every day, and spending the few extra minutes figuring out where on the route it's actu

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v If you want USPS to continue to provide a service that gives us the highest approval rating of every government agency, call you congressperson. Nag 'em for a bit on my behalf. Ask them for the same bailout for a community service that they give freely to banks and airlines. Q 14 271,159 ♡ 5,232 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildipsh... · 1d v Thanks for listening. I'll see you on the streets, from 6 feet away. And keep your dog on a leash, please. O 19 27

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 14h v Not only does USPS tie communities together, but the organization has helped lift many of them up. Rather than talking about letting us die, you should be asking how to help strengthen us. 27450 ♡ 4,047 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 14h Postal banking, which would allow people in every community in the country to have easy access to cheap local banking, is not just a potential revenue stream, but a way to provide an essential service to the pe

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 14h v We have the resolve as a nation, and the popular demand to fix USPS and permanently strengthen them. All you need to do is help advocate for it. Because none of us, especially those receiving stimulus checks by mail, want to see how bad things get after we are allowed to collapse 64 27 591 ♡ 4,079 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 11h v Replying to @lildipshit3 PS: If you're reading this and want a much easier, more direct way to help us out? Volu

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Text - Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 11h v Heck, write a few! Toss em in your mailbox, and put the flag up. You don't even need to leave the house except to the mailbox, and you can do a little something for the postal service. Encourage a friend to do the same. Who doesn't like receiving a handwritten card? 145 27510 ♡ 3,858

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Text - Tiffany Kloss Replying to @lildipshit3 and @klo... · 6h @anarchomastia FYI. I work for FedEx. The cheapest way to send a Birthday Card to a rural residence is $15.50: $7.85 base charge for a Ground 1lb. pkg going < 150 miles $4.00 residence charge $3.65 rural charge Charge for same service by USPS? $0.50 or 31 times cheaper Save the USPS O 10 27523 1,971 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 6h v We've got a great solidarity going with all the delivery guys out on the street! Friendly jokes

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Text - Snarky mama @SarcasticBride · 10h Replying to @lildipshit3 Would it help to get kids working virtually to work on their handwriting by sending mail? Teachers assign a letter a week. To family local, to fam in another state, to a senior center nearby, to a member of the military, to another student in your class. Can we start a campaign? 2761 350 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 10h v Do it! I've got a few teachers on my routes, and they've been doing some of their assignments by mail, a

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Text - a perfect tweet @_aperfectname · 9h li Replying to @lildipshit3 What's the most useful action we can take? Is there a specific ask if writing or calling Congress members? A bill pending or a proposal as part of the Covid-19 response packages? Thanks for all you do! 2723 183 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... ·9h Some in congress right now are trying tO make a postal bailout a part of the next COVID related stimulus. It's all talk, not on paper as far as I know. As of right now, the white ho

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Text - Nate Richards @NateJRichards · 10h Replying to @lildipshit3 and @brianschatz I know it's not this simple, but can everyone with means just buy a lot of forever stamps to hold us over til November? 2734 426 Dingus J McGee, ESQ* @lildips... · 10h Sure! "Forever" means forever! Until it doesn't anymore, I guess, if we don't exist anymore? BRB gonna have an existential crisis. 27 19 626

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Tagged: twitter , postal service , social media , mail

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Guys Go Extra Hard on Snowskating Cat Video

These guys spent a lot of time and energy, including making a song, to hype the crap out of their snowskating cat. It's refreshing to see so much effort be put into such a specific thing. It makes sense, when you have such raw talent on your hands in the form of a cat, you know you've gotta go for it.

Submitted by: (via Smagical)

Tagged: snow , snowboarding , music video , Cats , funny , weird , stupid , skating

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System Of A Down In 1998 Before They Were Famous

What a show.

Submitted by: (via soadap)

Tagged: Music , system of a down , awesome , performance , bands , Video

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Guys Make Commercial For Total Stranger Selling Car On Craigslist

Every once in a while human beings pull something off that restores our faith in humanity for a little bit. This is one of those times. These dudes absolutely hooked it up for a perfect stranger that was trying to sell a car on Craigslist. Nicely done, fellas.

Submitted by: (via UnwantedCommercials)

Tagged: commercial , craigslist , kindness , faith in humanity , awesome , nice , Video , win

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Quick Story About A Dude Who Buys A Crow A Taco

Those crows are smart and tricky, man. This dude tells a quick yet hilarious little story about his experience with buying a crow a taco. Crows are something else.

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Text - RamsesThePigeon 13d, 17h Just up the street from my apartment in San Francisco, there was one of those fast food restaurants that was either a KFC or a Taco Bell, depending on the angle from which it was viewed. The establishment was a frequent stopping point for students coming from the nearby college.. and those students were a frequent target for a remarkably bright crow.

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Text - Now, on most days, the bird in question would just hang around the restaurant (as well as other ones nearby) and scavenge for scraps. Every once in a while, though -I saw this happen twice, and had it happen to me once - it would enact a much more complex scheme than simply going through the gutter: The crow had apparently discovered that money could be exchanged for food, so it would wait until it saw a likely mark, squawk at them to get their attention, then pick up and drop a coin. Any

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Text - When the crow approached me, it dropped a nickel on the ground. I stooped, picked up the coin, and then jumped slightly when the bird made a noise that sounded not unlike "Taco!" Needless to say, I bought that crow a taco. The final out-of-pocket cost for me, minus the nickel, was something like $1.15. Even so, I figured a bird that smart deserved a reward simply for existing. Of course, that was probably exactly what I was supposed to think. TL;DR: A crow paid me five cents to buy it a t

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Tagged: birds , awesome , ridiculous , funny , crow

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Choosing Beggar Needs Free 100-Mile Bus Trip

Yay, another absurd case of entitlement that definitely deserves its place in the hall of fame for the choosiest beggars. We're taking it back to the time that a choosing beggar hit the comments section with a request for a free 100-mile bus trip, for 20 people, and would accept nothing less.

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Tagged: FAIL , comments section , facebook , ridiculous , cheap , choosing beggar

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Dad Cooks Bacon, Vegan Daughter Isn't Having It

This dad took to Reddit to ask folks whether or not he was in the wrong for wanting to continue his enjoyment of bacon, even though it created distress for his vegan daughter's lifestyle. Folks seem to agree that dad isn't doing anything wrong at all.

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Tagged: aita , parenting , dad , food , reaction , Reddit , bacon

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A Battering of Absurdly Dumb Puns

While we accept that puns are some of the lowest form of humor, we sometimes need a smattering of puns to fill the pun void. Obscenely stupid wordplay is somewhat painful, but it's also kind of satisfying, like spicy food. For more, here's another bundle of beautiful stupid puns.

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Tagged: absurd , clever , smart , dad jokes , puns , ridiculous , dumb , stupid , wordplay

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