Sunday, August 9, 2020

Tumblr Users Illustrate Terrifying Angels Using Historical Imagery


Tumblr users banded together to illustrate just how terrifying angels would look, using nothing more than historical imagery. There doesn't seem to be anything about these that scream, "angelic." Nah, getting more of a monster vibe than anything else. 

Check out some more fun from Tumblr with this thread about how death isn't a bad guy.

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Line art - What do angels actually look like per the bible? anonymous Well, according to Ezekiel 1 they might look something like this...

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Wing - According to Daniel 10 something like this... According to Isaiah 6.

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Human - In Ezekiel 10...

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Wing - Again in Ezekiel 10...

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Text - Basically, when the people writing Scripture tried to describe what they saw when they saw an angel... they run into the end of their imagination... they can never quite seem to fully explain it because they had trouble even comprehending what they saw, let alone being able to describe it to someone else. revelation19

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Hair - musiqchild007

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Text - revelation19 Yeah, that's usually how people responded to seeing them in the Bible.. the-unreadable-book There's a good reason why angels' standard greeting is 'Do not be afraid'.

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Text - glitterbomb-goblinking I used to listen to this radio show and one thing I remember because it was so funny was a Christmas special where an angel showed up to tell the shepherds about the birth of Christ. The conversations went: Angel: “FEAR NOT." Shepherds: *screaming* Angel: "I SAID FEAR NOT." Shepherds: *screaming LOUDER*

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Text - Angel: "WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?" cameoamalthea So demons are fallen angels but they don't look scary because they're fallen, that's just what all angels look like.

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Text - Maybe that's why so many Christians see visions of Saints or the Virgin Mary instead.. like Jesus is all.no, no see being human made me realize sending Angels might not be the best idea. I don't know if humans can handle this. So I'm gonna just send mom bamf-castiel @fem-deanwinchester mathblr I'M GONNA JUST SEND MOM

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Text - veronica-rich God: The humans are scared. Mary: Fine. I'm on it. upallnightogetloki Jesus: It's either Mom or the thousand eyed flaming wheel, Dad, do you really think the humans are gonna be chill with that when they're terrified of spiders already?

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Text - God: Hey now, some of those spiders eat birds. Jesus: .Dad. God: ...To be fair, Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase. fawningparadox Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase

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Twitter Thread: Tale Of A Hilariously Clueless Intern


It's a true wonder that folks like this are able to get employed in the first place. I mean, hey, whatever works. James sounds like he'd be a fun dude to work with. 

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Text - Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon We have an intern named James. God blessed James with an incredible amount of confidence to the point of arrogance. God did not, however, bless James with any amount of common sense or intelligence. These are his stories.

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Text - Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon 3d James failed to realize that, even on Casual Friday, American flag tank tops still weren't appropriate office attire. When we asked him to change, he came back in a tank top and tennis shoes because he thought his flip flops were the issue. 27418 9,491 Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon 3d James once typed a letter that was supposed to be handwritten in the "Informal Roman" font because he didn't think anyone would notice.

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Text - Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon 3d James isn't allowed to do door-to-door canvassing anymore because he kept asking every house he went to if he could "borrow a beer". 07 27464 O 6,844 Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon 3d I'm not sure James knows what his major is because he's told me 4 different ones. 27 267 6,897 Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon · 3d To his credit, James has a pretty incredible singing voice. Unfortunately, he's only ever used it for renditions of "Careless Whisper" by George Michaels an

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Text - Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon · 3d James has never been to Chipotle because one of his friends convinced hm you have to order in Spanish and he doesn't speak any Spanish. 04 271,464 O 14.1K Kaleb Harmon @KalebAHarmon 3d James impressed the office by catching 15 cheese puffs in a row in his mouth that someone brought in. He then asked to go home because he forgot he was lactose intolerant.

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Tumblr Thread: A Death God that's Not a Bad Guy


This thread asks the question, why would any God of Death every really need to be a bad guy? Why feel the need to speed things up if it's guaranteed to win in the end? These Tumblr users flesh out the idea of a death who's not that bad of a person. For some more creative tumblr musings on life and death and gods, here's a story about a selfless farmer with a heart of gold, as well as a tumblr thread on demons bonding over sandwiches.

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Text - mikkeneko concept: a death god that is actually surprisingly supportive and on the side of the good guys, supporting actions and promoting policies that will lead to the kingdom growing and thriving instead of being destroyed, because the more the kingdom grows, the more people there are, and the more people there are the more people will eventually die, and when you're an immortal god of death, you know there's no need to rush. you'll get them all in the end mikkeneko i like how the resp

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Text - honourablejester Yes. A Death that is kind, and patient, and inevitable. A Death that need not fight against you, that will often fight for you, because why not? It will gather you home eventually. Why not enjoy you first? A Death that treasures those who fight it most ardently. That loves healers and defenders and survivalists and necromancers and mad scientists and immortal gods. That lets them pour everything they are into fighting it, denying it, adoring every desperate scrap of stren

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Text - A Death who will not seek to hasten an inevitable end, who will chastise those who seek to hasten it for others in Death's stead, who will slowly and patiently plot and sow and siphon away from the great monsters of the world. Because who are they to hasten Death's domain, who are they to deny Death its time and its place, who are they to cut short these vital glories that illuminate it so? Who are they to presume upon its will, that is so much larger and so much longer than theirs? Who a

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Text - A Death that is not a hunter but a gatherer, who is always and eternal, who loves you, and can afford to wait. A Death who will fight for you and defend you, who will place its hand upon those who would speed you to its embrace, who has no need to rush you, only to greet you when you call. A Death who is kind. And patient. And, before all and above all, inevitable.

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Otter Escapes Orca With Mere Seconds To Spare


These dudes were in for quite the surprise visit from an otter trying to escape an orca. Definitely don't see that everyday! 

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Guy Steals From Roommates, Skips Town, Loan Sharks Intervene


Kevin is a contender for the worst roommate of all time. Regardless of whether this story's real or not, the dude who shared it painted quite the picture. You've got a lazy and aimless roommate caught up in a terrible cycle of self-destructive gambling that ultimately manifests in him stealing, and being hunted down by some formidable loan sharks. If this is indeed a real story and they sent Kevin's old roommates that Christmas card with the money they were owed, that's sweeter than hot cocoa on Christmas Eve. 

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Text - r/NuclearRevenge Join u/ack1308 · 7d Loan Sharked This is the story of someone I used to know. I posted it r/StoriesAboutKevin so we'll call him Kevin. first in He needed a place to stay, and my mate needed someone to help pay the rent, so he moved in. Apart from a few minor dietary habits, such as walking around the house drinking chocolate milk from a 2L bottle and not putting it back in the fridge as the sour smell slowly grows, it seemed to be fine.

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Text - In the meantime, he wasn't getting what he considered an adequate wage from taxi driving (which is fair), so he got a job at a bakery. But then he decided to go the whole hog and started gambling online. He had a system, you see. But the system still needed refining. A lot. He was shovelling money into it, and still not getting a return. But to ask him, he was just a few days away from getting the big jackpot. But he didn't have the money to make it work. So he borrowed from a loan shark.

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Text - The next morning, after my mate went to work, Kevin went around to the power and phone companies and had everything cut off, and got the bond for each of them back. Then he grabbed his pre-packed bags and vanished down south. (I'm guessing he'd been getting "Where is my money" from the loan shark). My mate gets home, everything's turned off. Everything in the fridge is either spoiled or well on the way there. He has to run around, get everything reconnected, restock the fridge, and cover

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Text - So then, a few days later, he gets a knock on the door. "Are you Kevin?" These are big guys, wearing white shirts with ties. Very polite, but they're ripped as feck and he can see the tatts through the white material. He's fully aware of who and what they are, and he's able to start making a guess as to why they're there. He invites them in, proves that he's not Kevin, then shows them documentation of what Kevin pulled on him. They're sympathetic, and on the way out one of them gives him

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Text - He puts the card on the fridge. A few months later, Kevin calls from where he's vanished to, asking for his share of the rental bond. Never mind that he never put any money into it in the first place. So my mate says, "Sure. Where can I mail it to?" Kevin rattles off an address. "No worries. It'll be on your doorstep before you know it."

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Text - My mate hangs up, takes the card off the fridge, and makes a call. "So, you wanted to know where Kevin was?" That Christmas, he got a card from the loan shark with $500 in it. 388 22 1 Share

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Tumblr User Says Fish Aren't Animals, Meltdown Ensues


This is one of those conversations that's just an absolute train wreck. We all hope that this is nothing more than a drawn out act of trolling, and that there wasn't actually any mystery around whether fish were animals or not. Truth is that there really is that level of cluelessness out in the world right now. At least we get some fails out of it. 

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Text - yeezyslides i dont understand why vegans keep eating salmon like thats a gateway food to salmonella colormipretty Vegans can eat salmon? I thought they couldn't eat meat or food from animals

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Text - yeezyslides well salmon isnt rlly an animal, its a fish cinnamonvenus So fish aren't animals?

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Text - yeezyslides theyre not animals, theyre fish cinnamonvenus How do you define the word animal, sis? cinnamonrollwithit i'm sorry, can we take like, three steps back and look at the fact that op thinks that eating salmon is the direct cause of salmonella?

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Text - tired-beans IT'S CALLED PESCETARIAN, NOT VEGAN, NOT VEGETARIAN. PESCETARIAN. FISH ARE ANIMALS, THEY EAT, THEY BREATHE, THEY SHIT, THEY REPRODUCE AHSHFJAKDJ yeezyslides 1st of all bring down ur tone 2th of all it isnt pescatarian bc fish arent part of the animal kingdom their FISH.. and u ppl call me stupid imagine being this ignornant and typing in all caps... nobody said fish dont reproduce or shit but they dont breathe bc theyre in water wtf u cant breahe underwater ur so dumb

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Text - artistsregret fish [fiSH) 4) NOUN fishes (plural noun) 1. a limbless cold-blooded vertebrate animal with gills and fins and living wholly in water. "the sea is thick with fish" • the flesh of fish as food. "hot crab appetizers stuffed with fish" • (the FishFishes) the zodiacal sign or constellation Pisces. • used in names of invertebrate animals living wholly in water, e.g., cuttlefish, shellfish, jellyfish. So you mean to tell me. They're not animals? yeezyslides now ur switching my word

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Text - artistsregret "So fish arent animals?" "They're not animals, they're fish" Fish are in fact animals, I'm sorry to say. yeezyslides i dont recall sereniv this is a fucking train wreck

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Twitter Thread: Our Vision Systems Are Lying


Wow, that's certainly enough trippy for the day. This fun Twitter thread from @Foone shines light on some bizarre things that our eyes are (or aren't) doing. It is troubling to think about a hostile alien race showing up one day that exploits our eyes' saccades, and manages to wipe us out because we can never see them, and all along our eyes have just been taking their best guess at what's around us. Maybe they're already here. Maybe that's why we can't see them. What an eye-opening thread. 

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Text - foone @Foone You want to know something about how bullshit insane our brains are? OK, so there's a physical problem with our eyes: We move them in short fast bursts called "saccades", right? very quick, synchronized movements. The only problem is: they go all blurry and useless during this >

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Text - foone @Foone · 16h having your vision turn into a blurry mess every time you move your eyes is obviously not a good idea, so our brains hide it from us. Now, imagine you're an engineer and you have this problem. 2 27 70 1,555 foone @Foone 16h You've got some obvious solutions you could do. 1. make the vision go black during movement. (Some VR games do this!) 2. just keep showing the last thing we saw prior to movement 27 52 1,360

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Text - foone @Foone 16h both are good options with different downsides, but OH NO. this is assuming everything makes sense and is chronological and (regular) logical. Your brain does neither of these options, really. 1 27 45 1,321 foone @Foone · 16h first, it basically puts your visual system on "pause". You're not seeing blackness or even nothing, you're just not seeing period. then when you finish your saccade, it shows you what you now see at the new position. and then it pretends it can time

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Text - foone @Foone ·16h it seriously shows you the image at the new point, but time-shifts it backwards so that it seems like you were seeing it the whole time your eyes were moving. And because your brain is not a computer with a consistent clock, this shit works. 17 121 2,237 foone @Foone 16h you can see this effect happen if you watch an analog clock with a second hand. Look away (with just your eyes, not your head), then look back to the second hand. It'll seem like it takes longer than a s

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Text - foone @Foone 16h that's because your freaking visual system just lied to you about HOW LONG TIME IS in order to cover up the physical limitations of those chemical camera orbs you have on the front of your face. 18 17 345 4,229 foone @Foone · 15h we've known about this effect for over 100 years, it's called "Saccadic masking" and more specifically Chronostasis. Your visual system lies to you about WHEN things happen by up to half a second(!) just to avoid saccades blurring everything. 17

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Text - foone @Foone · 15h So while I firmly believe we're basically just overgrown biological computers, we're apparently computers programmed by batshit insane drunkards in Visual Basic 5. 42 27 759 4,989 foone @Foone 15h and you might think "hey wait, wouldn't my vision 'pausing' for half a second have all kinds of weird effects on moving objects? why don't they appear to stutter when moving?" and the answer is simple! your brain has EVEN MORE UGLY HACKS on top of this to avoid you seeing that

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Text - foone @Foone 15h if you've got a clock where the second hand doesn't "tick" but instead smoothly rotates, you won't see this. Because your brain recognizes it's moving and adjusts what you see to make sure it sees the "right" thing. 2 27 43 1,329 foone @Foone 15h it's only really obvious with periodically moving things like a clock hand, because it's not moving (so not triggering the movement-during-chronostatis hack) but it moves at a set rate, so you can notice that rate appearing to ch

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Text - foone @Foone 15h It's tempting to think of your eyes and visual system as a camera just dumping a video feed into your conscious brain but that's so very, very not the case. What you think you see and what your eyes can actually see are two exceptionally different things. 7 27 215 1,823 foone @Foone 15h The big obvious one being the blind spot. Vertebrate eyes are wired backwards so we've got a blind spot in each eye were the nerves enter into the eye. About 6 degrees of your vision in ea

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Text - foone @Foone 15h do you see a blind spot, right now? no, you probably don't. Close one eye! there's now no way for the other eye to fill in the gaps. Still, no blind spot... Your visual system is lying, and making up content it thinks is there. You literally cannot see what you think you see. 27 78 1,395 14 foone @Foone · 15h Here's another one: You can see in color, right? (well, some of you can't. Sorry) You can see in color all throughout your vision, it's color everywhere? Well, most

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Text - Retinal blood: vessels Retina Macula Fovea Optic nerve Optic disc 27 52 1,048 foone @Foone 15h So outside of that center-of-vision spot, you have very little color perception. There's some but it's very limited compared to your main color vision. But I bet if you shift your attention to your peripheral vision right now, it's in color. 12 17 44 1,012

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Text - foone @Foone 15h your vision system is lying. it's remembering what colors things are and guessing and filling in the gaps. It's basically doing a Ted Turner colorization process on your non-central vision. low 1000 000 OT 10 17 100 1,592

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Text - foone @Foone 15h There's even weird effects like what's called "Action-specific perception". If you get a bunch of white balls of various sizes and toss them at people then ask them to estimate the size of the balls thrown at them, they'll have a certain size estimate, right? 1 27 46 1,039 foone @Foone · 15h now repeat the experiment but ask them to try to hit the balls back with a bat, and suddenly all the estimates shift larger. They actually see the ball as bigger because they need to

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Text - foone @Foone · 15h which just goes to show, like I said, your vision is not a camera. perfect accuracy is not one of its goals. it does not give any shits about "objective reality", that's not important. 27 164 1,908 foone @Foone · 15h what's important to the evolution of the visual system is any trick that helps you survive, no matter how "dumb" or "weird" it is. So if you want an accurate visual representation of what things look like? Use a camera. Not your eyes. 15 17 132 1,748

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Text - foone @Foone 15h in any case the original point was that while you might know this about your eyes being poor cameras that lie to you, you might still think that at least they're consistent, time-wise. they don't screw with your sense of time passing, just to make up for visual defects. NOPE! 27 37 1,110 foone @Foone 15h if you can't get it done in time, turn back the clock and pretend you did. That's a perfectly good solution when you're the visual system. 27 53 1,153

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Text - foone @Foone · 15h BTW @hierarchon reminded me of a neat trick with saccadic masking: go look in a hand mirror. no matter how close you bring it to your eyes, and how much you look around, you will never see your eyes move. You're blind during those moments. But you still think you are seeing. 16 27 259 2,014 foone @Foone 15h she additionally pointed out that your phone's selfie-mode is NOT a mirror, and it has a slight delay, so you can see your eyes moving in it. 17 85 1,324

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Text - foone @Foone 15h And for fun, here's wikipedia's example of the blindspot. Stare at L with only your left eye, adjust the distance, and the R will disappear. You don't see "nothing" or "black", you see the background, because you expect to. R L Instructions: Close one eye and focus the other on the appropriate letter (R for right or L for left). Place your eye a distance from the screen approximately equal to 3x the distance between the R and the L. Move your eye towards or away from the

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Text - foone @Foone · 15h This is why laser damage your retina can be so insidious. Your visual system already can hide "holes" in your vision, what's one more to hide? So you damage a small spot of your retina and your visual system covers it up. 11 27 87 1,069 foone @Foone 15h but since you didn't go "WELL THAT WAS TERRIBLE I BETTER TAKE BETTER CARE OF MY EYES" and stop fucking with lasers, you keep doing it eventually you accumulate so much damage that your visual system simply cannot manage

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Text - foone @Foone · 15h the other reason lasers are so dangerous is that they don't necessarily trigger the same responses as regular incoherent light. your pupil reflex is only triggered by some special cells in the center of your eye, so an off-center laser might not cause your iris to contract 4 27 46 940 foone @Foone · 15h and infrared laser light is just as dangerous as visible laser light, but can't trigger your blink reflex. Your eyes automatically close when exposed to bright light, bu

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Text - foone @Foone 15h Anyway, back on how amazing and crazy your vision is: There was an experiment back in 1890 where someone wore glasses made with mirrors in them to flip their vision. After about 8 days, they could see just fine with them on. Their vision system had started "flipping" the image. 15 27 86 1,102 foone @Foone · 15h (I say flipping in quotes because it's not as simple as it started showing the pixels at the top row on the bottom row, cause our vision doesn't work like that) It

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Text - foone @Foone · 15h The last really fun part about this flipping experiment: your eyes already do it. Based on how our vision is wired, we should be seeing everything upside down. We don't, but only because our visual system has had our whole life to adapt to this. 16 17 40 854 foone @Foone 14h BTW, since a few people have brought it up: There's a great sci-fi novel by Peter Watts called Blindsight. In it humans encounter an alien race they call Scramblers, who can move very fast and preci

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Text - foone @Foone · 14h because if they only move during saccades, we never see them moving. and since so much of our vision is based on just filling in what we think is there, if they stay out of the direct center of our vision, we'll just visually fill them in, like they were never there. 27 48 974 foone @Foone · 14h Check it out if you're into hard SF stories of first contact. It's got some really neat ideas about human vision, very unique aliens, the nature of conciousness, the future of h

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Text - foone @Foone · 13h BTW, remember how I said "vertebrate eyes" up there? Guess who has eyes which are wired forwards instead of backwards (no have no blindspot), have an internal lens, and can even see polarization of light? our good friends the Cephalopods! In vertebrate eyes, the nerve fibers route before the retina, blocking some light and creating a blind spot where the fibers pass through the retina. In cephalopod eyes, the nerve fibers route behind the retina, and do not block light

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