This Cyclist Was Disqualified for For Punching Someone In the Head During a Race

Who says you don't need arms to bike? Actually, no one says that. But the sport of bike boxing is just getting started. 

During the Dubai tour, rider Andrey Grivko was disqualified after he punched fellow-rider Marcel Kittle in the head in the middle of the race. That's one way to get this done. Or you could just ride a little faster. 

As you can see from the picture, he cracked him wide open, but it didn't really help in the long run. 

At first Marcel seemed rightfully peeved:

I won't accept an apology for this. That has nothing to do with cycling. What Grivko did is a shame for our beautiful sport. http://pic.twitter.com/vvMN5LzQN0

— Marcel Kittel (@marcelkittel) February 2, 2017

But then had a pretty good sense of humor about it. What a guy. 

And I just googled Grivko and it said he is 70kg. Dude, know your limits!! http://pic.twitter.com/JnhYQk58vt

— Marcel Kittel (@marcelkittel) February 2, 2017

Submitted by: (via Twitter)

Tagged: punch , bike

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Butts and Busts: Expert Provides Essential Assessment of Exhibits' Fantassticly Exceptional Assets

Sometimes someone just comes along and gives us something that we would never have dreamed of, and right now it's this guy right here. He has done us an amazing service by providing his analysis on something we never even knew we needed, something that we are still pretty sure we don't need.

Regardless, it's here and it's indiscriminate of gender. As, in true internet form, this enlightened individual has provided us unnecessary insight into the asses of history. 

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Tagged: history , statue , butts

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Sexy Sports Presenter Teases Then Lowers Shorts to Reveal Daring Tattoo Fail

Here's to Claudia Guajardo and her ingenious ability to capitalize on a tattooed mistake, bringing in more viewers in the process. I'm gonna go hop in a cold shower for a hot sec. 

Submitted by: (via WORLDBUZZNEWZ.COM)

Tagged: news , FAIL , reporter , sexy times

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For Sale: One Hell of a Van

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15 Times The Merriam-Webster Went Off the Rails, Rewrote the Book and Ended Up Being Shady AF

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Tagged: twitter , dictionary , sassy , win

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Girl Takes Pic of Guy Getting Blown on Bus, Internet Reacts in Expected Fashion

We've gotta ask ourselves: Would the Fresh Prince be proud of this?

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Tagged: wtf , FAIL , cringe , bus

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Pranksters Share the Hilariously Devious Ways That They Subtly Mess With People's Minds

There's nothing like a little good-natured and good-humored pranking. The fine art of subtlety f*cking with someone in ways they don't even immediately realize is a truly fantastic skill. 

These days 'pranking' and 'trolling' are often too crass and violent, without any regard for the subtlety that makes the payoff great. Some Youtubers need to learn that assault is not a 'prank'.

These hilarious trolls are doing it right and messing with the minds of those around them in the best possible way.

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Tagged: art of trolling , trolling , prank

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Watch These Two Girls Instigate Internet's Latest Ridiculous Trend With 'Pussy Slap' War

'Have you no shame?' we all wondered...

This is easily the most shamelessly ridiculous, sexualized 'internet challenge/war' I've seen come to fruition since the dawn of 2017. Will it gain momentum and full on virality though? Time will tell, but shit, it's definitely got potential.

Submitted by: (via Petr Hawliczek)

Tagged: girls , ridiculous , trending , Video

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More Like The Birds and The Flies

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Tagged: flies

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Trump Made a New Enemy and It's Australia For Some Reason and Australia Twitter Thinks It's Hilarious Because WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE

Yesterday, Trump got on the phone with a host of world leaders, and presumably, by the time he got Austrailia, he had had enough. 

The Washington Post reported, "At one point, Trump informed Turnbull that he had spoken with four other world leaders that day — including Russian President Vladi­mir Putin — and that 'this was the worst call by far.'" So it looks like things between the US and its allies are good. 

While we in the US got worried about that reality-TV gameshow host's, uh, hostile approach to foreign policy, Australians loved hearing about the bullying of Prime Minister. Twitter was ablaze with people making fun of him. Check it out:

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Tagged: australia

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World's Most Visited Porn Site Does An Ask Me Anything, Naturally Invites Flood of Hilariously Dirty Humor

Would you expect anything less? Granted, I was very intrigued, madly curious to read through some of the answers from the self-proclaimed biggest HD porn site. They didn't fail to keep it light and insightful.

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Tagged: sex , porn , sexy times

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Either By Accident or Strange Purpose Drudge Report Included a Picture of Jar Jar Binks in Their Iran Missle Report

Wesa gonna die?

Earlier today, that reality-TV gameshow host who is now in charge of the free world put Iran on blast — no pun intended — for going ahead with a ballistic missile test. As they are wont to do, Drudge Report wanted to capitalize on the fear this should send most people in the world, so they hastily through together this image.

But who's that sneaking in the cloud of dust? Why it's our old friend Jar Jar Binks.

It looks like in their speed to start scaring the shit out of people and wetting the chops of warmongers around the country, they stole an image from a website looking to make fun of Drudge Report, and, yep, welcome to 2017. Duck.

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Ew, Boy, Trump's Supreme Court Pick Founded the "Fascism Forever" Club While In Prep School and Twitter Has Sentenced Him to Roast

Man, it would’ve been a lot better if this dude just joined chess club.

While in prep school, then-super cool student Neil Gorsuch wanted to show the lefties on campus that he was down with Reagan. And what teenager shouldn’t be? With his hip demeanor and “just say no” attitude.

But unfortunately, for the future Judge Neil Gorsuch, the supreme court pick of that reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year, these things have a way of coming back to haunt you.

A hilarious joke then — and seriously, what’s funnier than founding a club called “Fascism Forever,” I mean, what a knee slapper — is now a big problem today. Apparently, people with their “fears” of “fascism” don’t like the idea of it being around forever because when it’s around for more than a couple years, World War II happens. Still, I can’t imagine a funnier joke than the “Fascism Forever” Club. I mean HILARIOUS. I can’t stop laughing.

Anyway, Twitter isn’t too happy with it because FASCISM IS A BAD THING. Anyway, enjoy: 

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Dude's Skype Account Randomly Shows $42 Million Dollar Balance, Hilarious Customer Service Conversation Ensues

My biggest takeaway from this absurd in every sense of the word scenario, is what the hell is one to do with a Skype balance? For real though. How do you go about allocating that shit? Can you convert it--is there some strange sort of Skype currency we're dealing with here? Either way, this dude's probably best to opt for the cash-out route. Take the money and run, broheme.

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Tagged: customer service , skype , funny , money

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Irony Alert: Guy Hides Stolen Gold In His Butt Is Convicted By Judge Doody And Like C'Mon

This criminal really went up his own ass. 

A former Royal Canadian Mint worker who tried to steal gold by smuggling it through metal detectors via his butt is getting 30 months in jail. But here's a kick in the pants: He was convicted by Ontario Court judge Peter Doody. 

C'mon, guys. You're shitting me. This is like a murder suspect being
convicted by the Honorable Judge Knife Plundge.

via Fearless Flyer

Please don't put those in your mouth


Apparently, Leston Lawrence, the butt gold smuggler, had the job of "purifying recently procured gold" and being in charge of all irony at the Mint. He got caught trying to cash to checks worth $15,200 from Ottawa Gold Buyers, which tipped off the bank. All in all, he stole 22 gold pucks worth $165,451.14.

via GIPHY

the name of the judge in the case of the guy sneaking gold pucks out of the mint via his bum is PETER DOODY http://pic.twitter.com/BS1AsjWOnA

— Mike Barber (@mbarber86) February 2, 2017

Submitted by: (via Death and Taxes)

Tagged: butt , gold , weird

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Close Your Wearied Eyes and Let These 25 Shower Thoughts Wash Wisdom All Over You

It's true: a shower is an incubator of wisdom. At some point we wash off the thin film of accumulated worries -- rational and completely outside our control -- and become these temporarily clean slates, with room to entertain original, creative ideas otherwise drowned out to the point of forgetting they were even there. Pro Tip: make it a beer shower, bro. Gotta wash all those deep thoughts and existential angst and shit down with that dear old friend named ABV 5.7%. 

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Tagged: deep thoughts , shower thoughts

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Guy Travels to Australia Alone and Has the Time of His Life

This guy went to Austrailia for a big trip all by his lonesome and had an absolute blast, as is totally apparent from the photos he took during his time there.

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Tagged: Travel

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You Should See The Other Guy

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Tagged: dogs

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Flight Attendant Kicks 21-Year-Old Woman Off Plane Because She Refused to Cover Her Cleavage

It's not every day you come across a scantily-clothed story centered on an allegedly drunk woman's inability to cover up while on a flight...and being kicked off for it. Can I get a round of BOOOS, or what? Note to self: 'Spirit Airlines' has no chill and is killing it in the lameness category.

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Tagged: FAIL , cleavage

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Watch Rapper Travis Scott Fall Into a Hole on Stage at the Drake Show

There's nothing quite like watching someone fall into nothingness. It's almost as good as watching someone fall off stage. Watching someone fall off a stage into nothingness is the supreme ultimate.

With that in mind, here's rapper Travis Scott falling into a hole at the Drake show last night in London.

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Jesus, Neither Trump Nor Sean Spicer Know Who Frederick Douglass Is

Look, I don’t want to be writing this Trump stuff either. There’s nothing I’d like more than for me to sleep easy knowing that our president and White House press secretary are aware of the great and noble deeds of abolitionist Frederick Douglass. But here we are.

Yesterday was the start of Black History Month, and Trump kicked things off by complaining about, apparently, the only example of misreporting he’s heard (that a TIME writer tweeted Trump’s removal of the bust of Martin Luther King, Jr). He then went on to sing the praises of Frederick Douglass, who he says, “someone who has done a terrific job that is being recognized by more and more people.”

Then, Spicer jumped in later that day as to make sure the president wasn’t the only guy who forgot to do their history homework. He thinks “the contributions of Frederick Douglass will become more and more.”

Saying the words “more and more” is not the answer to your problems. Guys, get it together! You’re supposed to be the smart ones. Anyway, Twitter had a field day with this one. Check it out:

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Take A Load Off and Enjoy the Best Fails of January

Sometimes you just want to kickback and enjoy a whole mess of people hurting themselves. Believe me, I know. I live on the edge, hoping to see someone take a wrong step off a curb, so I can run up with my phone and screaming "Worldstar!" 

But it's hard to be in the right place at the wrong time, so that's why I'm grateful for this fail comp. I'm sure you will be too. Enjoy! 

Submitted by: (via FailArmy)

Tagged: FAIL , compilation

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Johnny Galecki and Sting Exchanging Ghost Stories is the Amazing Big Bang Theory Episode We Deserve

Yo, Sting...that woman with the baby was no ghost, bro. I'm just taking a gander here, and am gonna float out the possibility you had a sweet, midnight hour brush with a bedside psycho. That, or you were on some wild kind of substance, and I want some. 

Submitted by: (via The Late Late Show with James Corden )

Tagged: big bang theory , ghosts , sting , Video

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Here's a GoPro on a Sword Because Duh Why Wouldn't We Show You This

Look, it's our job at Fail Blog to make sure that you are one step ahead of all conversations. So when people are like "Hey, did you see La La Land?" You can replay, "No, but did you see this YouTube video of a GoPro on a sword?"

Now you can be that person. Thanks to YouTubers Sam and Niko, you can see what it's like to see a sword cutting through the wind and then through a watermelon. That's what life is all about, right? Right. 

via The Last Witch Hunter

H/T Sploid

Submitted by: (via Sam and Niko)

Tagged: GoPro , sword

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Nothing Will Prepare You For This Car T-Boning This Ambulance

I don't know if there's anything scarier than a car crash. Oh, that's right, this car crash.

Hitting an ambulance is every driver's great fear. They come out of no where, they can run lights, and when you t-bone them, shit gets real fast. You'll see it all in this video and you'll nver unsee it. 

So enjoy this video that you'll see every time you close your eyes. 

Submitted by: (via Live Leak)

Tagged: car crash

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