Thursday, June 18, 2020

Jim Carrey Goes Off The Rails In Hilarious Interview


Jim Carrey really tried to help this interviewer out, and clarify for her that he was not playing an animated character, but she just kept missing the signs. Oh well, made for a great interview. 

Best Fails Of 2011


Let's throw it on back to 2011, a year where many a great fail occurred. Nothing like a fail compilation to get us going. 

Submitted by: (via FAIL Blog)

Judge Judy Rant: Father's Aren't Second Class Citizens


Judge Judy actually goes off on a well articulated rant about the need for dads to be treated fairly. Mom really messed up when she tried telling a judge, "that's not what I've been told." 

Submitted by: (via Fit Life Junkie)

Funny Times Moms Went Full Mom Mode


Nothing like a witty mom who calls out their kid's nonsense with perfect timing to lighten the mood. There's that or there's the mom who has no problem oversharing that the hardest part about being her age is holding a fart in during yoga. 

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Text - Dana Bassett @DanaGrace20 Mom: "The tv is broken! There's just a big 11 on the screen!" Me: "Mom....That's pause. Just press pla... the triangle button.." #MomQuotes

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Text - David Jones @iPopEditor Replying to @jimmyfallon My mom thinks the word "fart" is a cuss word and won't say it. So when I was younger, she told her friend that I had a book called "Walter the F-ing Dog." #MomQuotes

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Text - Lindsey Jeffers @_itsLJ_ Replying to @jimmyfallon When my mom would drive us kids around, she would brake really hard to make us lean forward and she'd say “bow to Mom" Every. Single. Time. #MomQuotes

4.

Text - Mads @its_maddie_byee Mom: “how many years apart are they?" Sam: "Sara is 14 and my brother is 26" Mom:"oh so nine years" Sam:"...no I think that's 12" Mom:"yeah I didn't really listen" #MomQuotes

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Text - karen molden @specialk52570 Me: This is hot. My mom: well I didn't cook it in the refrigerator! #MomQuotes

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Text - Steve Turner @steventurner45 My Mom was tenderizing steak on a cutting board with a butchers knife when the preachers wife called and asked her what she was doing....Mom replied “Just beating my meat" true story from 1984. My sisters and I laughed for an hour! #MomQuotes

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Text - Elle Eff @LianneFrame The hardest thing about yoga at my age is not farting while in certain poses. #MomQuotes

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Text - Tara breunig @breunitl The first comment from someone on my moms Facebook account she jumped away from the computer and asked "can they see me" #MomQuotes

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Text - Angie Mosier @Angiemosier When my husband of 29 years went to my parents to let them know he wanted to marry me, my mom said "well, we made a lot of mistakes with Angie" #momquotes @jimmyfallon

10.

Text - Mal Pale @Mally_D_Ally Replying to @jimmyfallon My mom, in front of everyone including our pastor and my new bf, said they almost named my sister Aspen because that's where she was conceived. She then turned to me and said, "We almost named you Days Inn!" #MomQuotes

11.

Text - Ed Hill @kingedhill Once a waiter asked my mom how she'd like her steak, and she said “in my mouth". #MomQuotes

12.

Text - Hooray Platypus @HoorayPlatypus Replying to @jimmyfallon My mom couldn't find the movie she wanted on Netflix. "Oh well, someone else is probably watching it. I'll try again tomorrow" #MomQuotes

13.

Text - Cassandra Clark @Cassandra86vfr Replying to @jimmyfallon Brought my new boyfriend to meet my mom. As we chatted in the kitchen, he picked up a small screw that was on the floor and handed it to my mom. She didn't miss a beat and said, "See what happens when I don't wear underwear?!" I died a little. #MomQuotes

14.

Text - Noel G @nmMorningbell Mom: Mija, what does gtg mean? Me: "got to go" Mom: Ok mija, talk to you later. #MomQuotes

15.

Text - Sean Erickson @seanje867 At my friend's wedding last weekend and was dancing with my mom and my ex girlfriend wanted to join in and my mom said "yeah let's do a threesome!" #MomQuotes

16.

Text - Joshua Barney @joshuabarney44 "Your dad may be the head of the family, but I'm the neck. I really control what's going on" #MomQuotes

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Twitter Thread: Grandpa And Great Uncle's Wholesome Doctor Visit


Ryan Kober's story about a visit to the doc's office with his grandpa and great uncle is just the kind of wholesome throwback we never grow tired of. The quick and hilarious account of what the two old dudes say and do while their hearing aids are being fixed up gave us a good chuckle. Hearing yourself using the bathroom is apparently an exciting thing when you haven't heard it in a while. 

1.

Text - Ryan Kober @GrizzlyKobear I'm bringing my grandpa and great uncle to get their hearing aids checked. *they enter my car* Uncle: See, I can hear you just fine, I don't need to go. Me: I didn't say anything. Uncle: What? Grandpa: Yes, l'm fine, thank you.

2.

Selfie - Ryan Kober @GrizzlyKobear Help

3.

Text - Ryan Kober @GrizzlyKobear *doctor is giving my uncle a hearing test* Grandpa: *LOUD HUMMING* Me: Grandpa stop humming Grandpa: YOU CAN HEAR THAT? >

4.

Text - Ryan Kober @GrizzlyKobear The doctor is out of the room and they are both humming very loudly in unison. I keep laughing and they keep thinking I'm talking to them. <>

5.

Text - Ryan Kober @GrizzlyKobear The doctor took out Grandpa's hearing aids to adjust them in the next room and now he's screaming/singing a broken English version of "It's A Smal World After Al"

6.

Text - Ryan Kober @GrizzlyKobear Now my uncle can hear himself so well he's whispering because he was so used to not hearing his own voice for so many years. >

7.

Text - Ryan Kober @GrizzlyKobear *coming out of the bathroom* Uncle: I can even hear myself pee! I can't believe it! >

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Sitting

9.

T-shirt - LAND Free OF THE HOME OF THE Bra

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Airport Karen Pitches A Fit For No Reason


Karen decided to show up 30 minutes before her flight, and in the rage-fueled panic that ensued she ended up missing out on her own TSA pre-check. Wonder if she learned her lesson in the value of taking a deep breath, being respectful to those around you, and from there greatly increasing the possibility that other folks will actually want to help you. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge u/wallywoofdog • 73d + Join 1 Airport Karen decides to show up 30 minutes before flight.... A few years ago my college sports team was flying out for a competition. We were flying out of our own town which has notoriously quick and easy airport experiences for those of us who know it well. When flying alone it's generally no sweat to show up only an hour before, or even less, but this is ALWAYS a risk in all airports even the small ones. Our team of 20 people showed up for

2.

Text - long line out of security which is not normal at all for this airport. We all have to check our bags and get into line where every once in awhile an employee would walk through the line asking people to look at their tickets for TSA Pre-check, which means you basically get to go straight through the security line. While we were waiting an unusually long time we started to pick up on a lot of different people in front and behind us that are all about to miss the same flight. Some people ar

3.

Text - minutes and I note the fact that she is behind us in line which means she probably just showed up only a half an hour before her flight leaves...insanity. For the next 30 minutes Karen is pushing past people (some of them are on the same flight as her) without asking any sort of permission. Karen is also yelling loudly this whole time at any employee she sees about how they are incompetent, need to let her through, etc. She is also demanding that they need to open up the other security la

4.

Text - (obviously TSA guidelines aren't a thing to this Karen). So finally Karen literally pushes her way through the line to about 5 people away from where my team is waiting and there is no way we are letting her through. This is when I decided to get a little more revenge for all those poor employees and all the other nice and respectful people waiting there. Being at the back of the line, my friend and I tell the few people in between the Karen and ourselves that they can skip ahead of our w

5.

Text - SO we are FINALLY about three people away from where our IDs are checked. Karen has finally stopped yelling at every single possible employee that comes by because we are so close to the front. Remember when I mentioned earlier the employee who comes by to remind us to look for TSA Pre-Check on our boarding passes? WELL TURNS OUT KAREN WAS YELLING OVER OR AT THIS GUY THE WHOLE TIME AND NEVER GOT THE INFO AND WHEN SHE FINALLY STARTED ACTUALLY LISTENING TO THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE SHE FOUN

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A Hole of Puns to Fall Down Into


Sometimes when the world seems overly complex and hard to comprehend, you might find yourself in need of some ridiculously stupid puns to cheer yourself up. That or these will just make you angry. If you're in need of wordplay, here's a smattering of puns to fill the pun void.

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