Friday, November 13, 2020

15-Year-Old Calls Into Radio Station, Hilarity Ensues


Um, this is absolute gold. Kevin really took these radio hosts for a ride. 

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Player Manages Sweet Double-Volley Goal


Nicolai Geertsen managed a cool-looking score when his first attempt bounced off the goal and right back at him. Undeterred, he went for it again in a showing that looked more like ping pong than anything else.

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Radio Hosts Find Greatest Bloke In World Through Prank Job Reference


James clearly has it all figured out. There was a little bit of stress over that language question, but the dude still managed to glide right through it like a true champion. 

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Times That Failure's Not An Option


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the times that failure is just not an option. Sometimes you're caught up in the middle of a perilous, adrenaline-charged event like skydiving and you literally have zero room for not performing everything perfectly. 

1.

Text - Baileythenerd • 1d O 3 6 Awards Skydiving. | Reply 1 11.1k ...

2.

White - alittlemore • 1d Landing a plane Reply 404 •.. +B

3.

Text - MR_System_ • 23h Giving birth. You either successfully deliver it, have a successful C-section, or you die trying and they remove the kid via C-section to see if it's alive. No matter what comes out, living or dead, you still gave birth, even if you died during it. You can't suck the kid back in. You cannot fail at giving birth. Reply 1 220 5 + ...

4.

Text - StarAxis • 1d 1 Award Those multiple choice questions that some teachers put in Kahoots where all of the answers are correct A Q Reply 4 6.3k ...

5.

Text - kingcobra5352• 20h 5 Awards A personal story. I had just started a new IT job back in 2017, working for my boss from a previous job. The CEO/owner of that company owned several other small businesses that I didn't work for. On my way home one day my boss calls me "Kingcobra... The CEO's biggest company just got hit by ransomware and he needs your help." I'm on a plane to Phoenix, AZ the next morning. I find out that every server, even backups, had been encrypted. If I didn't succeed hundr

6.

Text - jfpeoxa • 1d Professions related to health, within my family there are 2 doctors and 4 nurses and I can say that the pressure on them all the time is brutal, my mother tells me that the simple fact that a baby's umbilical cord becomes entangled in her neck can cause permanent damage. In addition, the relatives of the patients can sue you for negligence despite the fact that most of the time they are fortuitous errors. People often forget the fragility of life. Reply 84 3

7.

Text - littleredhoodlum • 1d 2 Awards I was backpacking in Alaska. I was being careless and had gotten turned around and lost the trail. Not a huge deal I'm pretty good at orienteering and I had a pretty good handle on where I was. Had plenty of food and water was everywhere. I decided to freak the fuck out though before I sat down and rationally though that out. The world is a big place when you're all alone in the wilderness. Once I calmed down I came to the decision that I had no choice but t

8.

White - skeeball_ray • 1d Free solo climbing Reply ...

9.

Text - 8-BIT-Chicken • 23h 7 Awards I was diagnosed with cancer back in 2018. Decided that l'd fight it tooth and nail with everything I had. That didn't last very long. Man, it was tiring. I gave it my all every single day, and eventually I just got so exhausted of it that I decided I was just gonna stop. It was so emotionally, physically, and mentally tiring, so I snapped, and decided that I was just gonna stop trying. It wasn't a suicidal kind of thing - I didn't want to die, but I wanted to

10.

Text - long-da-schlong • 20h Not as extreme as some examples -- but my partner is very much into horses, over the years we have gone "trail riding" a number of times. l am not experience with horses, but I have a bit of an edge to the point I am no longer a complete novice. That being said, a number of years ago -- we went riding at a very discount place. It was a lady with a couple of horses and she let us just hop on and go. No guide, none of the usual. My horse was the "bad boy" of the group

11.

Text - It was actually surprisingly comforting... knowing that even when I hit my very lowest points, life would keep on pushing me forward, and l'd still be making some sort of progress. I learned that day not to push through my chemotherapy with everything I had, but to instead spend my time relaxing and enjoying what I had around me. I made friends with the nurses, went on frequent walks, and valued the fact that I still had my life, cause I might not have been able to keep it for long. I acc

12.

Text - wehosh • 1d Failure to establish communication with relevant callsigns and equipment in a coal mine will result in termination. Failure to wear a seatbelt in a coal mine will be treated as a federal offense and result in a $250K fine, termination of employment, and incarceration. # Q Reply 4 551

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Things That Look Like Tasty Food But Aren't


There are just too many damn car fluids and gemstones that look like drinks and candy, and it's absolutely maddening. Spiders, rocks and fungi just have a way about them that make them look like delicious cookies and meals. Seeing all the stuff that looks like tasty food but isn't is a surefire way to want to drink a lava lamp.

1. Forbidden Bun

Snake - e old track Her ide ele The Health Star ng nore stars, the hter he choice. Sir Chaon Get real kicK out of new hybrid sport 21,303 WOULD RAD ATE THER MOE THANCHANGE THEIR AS PEOPLE IN THE PENRITH REGI JOIN QUEST FOR THE BEST WANT TO ATTRACT MORT Te adverslee Fer 51 ONOSDU

2.

Hard candy - tender & delicious gummy pasta

3.

Bottle - You ever just say fuck it & have a sip of the forbidden soda @boyswhocancook

4. Forbidden Drumstick

Cat bed - YTLIDAT 2IHT TEHIADA

5. Forbidden gem grapes

Grape

6. Forbidden meatball

Floor

7. Forbidden Ice Cream

Pink - DAP Widuo Dries WHITE Goes DRY TIME INDICATOR Spackling Masilla con indicador de tiempo de secado WARN SELLER 02

8. Forbidden Egg Yolk

Turtle

9. Forbidden Turkey

Hand

10. Forbidden Ice Cream

Sculpture

11.

Hairstyle

12. Forbidden Coconut

Food - Calcite Calcite Quartz Quartz

13. Forbidden Box Wine

Machine tool - Mobil 1 TM European Car Formula QuietCas OW-40 00 No P OJECT 10PEN THS PACKAGE OPEN PULL MERE TO REMOVE HOSOS HOSO

14. Forbidden Bacon

Wood

15.

Transport - When the Walmart lady asked why I needed so much antifreeze, apparently "fruit punch for the trick or treaters" was not the correct answer.

16. Forbidden Melted Cheese

Food

17. Forbidden Spaghettios

Orange

18. Forbidden Gummies

Tree

19. Forbidden Pizza

Rock

20. Forbidden Oreo

Terrestrial animal

21. Forbidden Candy Powder

Blue - AL GO DANGERY/POISON FLUSH EYES MMEDIATELY

22. Forbidden Cookie Wafer

Hand

23. Forbidden Scalloped Potatoes

Food

24.

Fawn - MCENNEDY Toast American Style EISST

25. Forbidden Blue Raspberry Slushie

Bumper

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Pet Store Employee Shares Friendly Holiday Reminder


So many of us are prone to impulse buys during the holiday season. It's a time where we can fork over some of that hard-earned dough, and buy special gifts for the human beings we're grateful to share this strange existence with. With that being said, we've got to be careful to not cave for the irrational pet purchases. You've really got to think things through before bringing a new family member on board. Especially if it's a bird that's about to stir up a loud ruckus in your home. 

1.

Text - the holidays are coming up, and as someone who works in a pet store there are some things i want everyone who plans on getting animals as gifts to remember: fish tanks need to be set up and running for at least one week before fish can be put it. all fish need treated water and bacteria supplements. fish can only survive in a plastic bag for about an hour. THE ONLY fish that can go in a bowl is a BETTA. all other fish, especially goldfish, will die/be very unhealthy in bowls.

2.

Text - goldfish are supposed to live for up to 20 years. don't get all high and mighty for keeping one alive for a few months. they have long life spans when taken proper care of. hamsters cannot live together. when they grow up, they become incredibly territorial and aggressive. they are asocial creatures that do not get along with each other. • guinea pigs can't go in hamster wheels or balls. they get spinal injuries from being in a curved position and sometimes die. rats and guinea pigs do be

3.

Text - hamsters, mice, rats, guinea pigs, cats, and pretty much every single animal can't live inside a sealed box. they will die. don't do it. puppies get destructive. they break things and make messes and are loud. they need to be trained. don't get a puppy if you don't want to deal with training a large animal. don't fucking take kittens and puppies away from their mothers prematurely just because they're cute. it can affect them forever.

4.

Text - cats will scratch your furniture and knock things over. declawing cats is a physically harmful and scarring process that literally permanently mutilates their paws. don't get a cat if you aren't willing to be patient with them. birds are LOUD. SO LOUD. and incredibly messy. and they bite. most lizards can get up to two feet long. some can live for 20 years. don't get a baby bearded dragon and expect it to stay that small forever. they reach their full size within a year. pets are real and

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Dad Uses Big Boat To Take Revenge On Lake Scoundrels


You're bound to cross paths with some interesting walks of life at the lake. It's a place where many go to escape the daily stresses of life, and just try to catch their breath by the water. Well, when you throw a couple inconsiderate, loud degenerates into the mix, the environment is ripe for conflict. In this case, the conflict took on the face of a well executed petty revenge. Dad wasn't playing any games. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/WebberWoods • 3y "It's a free lake, isn't it?" This happened a couple years ago at my parents' cottage. This cottage community used to be pretty sparsely populated and felt pretty remote...back in the 60s when my Dad was a kid. These days it's completely built up and feels more like a subdivision with water between the houses instead of roads. A sunny summer Saturday can get really busy. My Dad, however, still likes to go up there for a quiet relaxing experience---

2.

Text - Then one day my parents, myself, and one of their friends are sitting on the dock, enjoying a quiet drink as afternoon turns to evening, when they see two fishermen in a pontoon boat pull around the point of the island, trolling along the waterline. This happens sometimes, and isn't a big deal so long as people are respectful. These two were not. As they get closer and closer to the dock, it becomes clear that they just don't give a crap. They end up trolling right by the dock. And I mean

3.

Text - By this point, they are already trolling past, getting further away from the dock. My Dad was pretty annoyed, but that could have been the end of it---that is, until Tweedledum decided that he would throw his empty beer bottle into the lake. Now my Dad likes his privacy, but he loves the natural beauty of the Canadian North. One time when we were young and stupid, my brother, myself, and a bunch of our friends were pretty drunk and decided it would be smart to throw our empties at a nearb

4.

Text - When Tweedledum threw the bottle in the lake, my Dad became committed to his petty revenge. Without a word, he walked over to our big steel boat (not exactly like this, but close...quite the beast by this lake's standards), untied it, and hopped in. I jumped in at the last minute just to make sure he didn't get his ass kicked or something. But, to my surprise, he didn't go over there to give them a piece of his mind. He just adjusted the speed and trim of his boat to make the biggest wave

5.

Text - My Dad just smiled at them. "Hey, it's a free lake, isn't it?" They just grumbled, flipped us off again, and took off. We followed them for a bit, but once they were a kilometre or so from our island we peeled off and went home to enjoy the rest of our evening in peace. Edit: Please, let me clarify a few things.

6.

Text - To the people saying that there is nothing wrong with fishing close to a dock---fair, but there's gotta be some respect and common courtesy there. Our dock is a small L-shape and they were inside the L. I could have hopped onto their boat with ease. Just go around, especially when the owners are there using it. Most people who troll by will clear both ends of the docks by at least ten feet, we maybe exchange a nod/wave and we get on with our lives. These guys were just so unconcerned with

7.

Text - To those concerned about the safety of the circling maneuver---I should've specified that he was decently far away. They got their feet wet, maybe ruined a pack of cigarettes or something, but there was never any danger to either boat or any of the people in them. Was it illegal? I dunno, probably. Is my Dad an asshole? Generally no, but he certainly can be. I never claimed that he was 100% in the right. After all, aren't we here for a bit of pettiness? 6.2k 292 1, Share

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