Seth Meyers Takes a Closer Look at Trump Acting Like a Normal President for One Goddamn Second

1,000 years ago, when President Donald Trump (that reality-TV gameshow host who gets to address to Congress now) made his first address to Congress, the media was struck by how "normal" Trump sounded. 

As stupid as all that was, even now in light of the fact that Attorney General Sessions lied during his Senate Confmation hearing, Trump's tone wasn't fooling many — especially Seth Meyers. 

Check out his take on the new normal, Trump style.

Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers)

Tagged: seth meyers , donald trump

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"The Future Liberals Want" is the Meme of Tomorrow

Yesterday, /pol/ News Network, a Twitter account that's "politically incorrect" and "always right" but never funny, attempted to shame two strangers for ignoring each other on the train by tweeting: 

This is the future that liberals want. http://pic.twitter.com/QwterpqQbH

— /pol/ News Network (@polNewsNetwork1) March 1, 2017

Yeah, imagine that, a world where strangers mind their own business. Anyway, the internet is having a great time making fun of this. So get ready to start crying those liberal tears of joy because this is the future liberals want.

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Tagged: liberals , Memes

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Peep This: Peeps-Flavored Oreos Are Turning Poop Pink

Everyone like Oreos. And even more people like special, limited-time only snacks. So it's not really that surprising that people really want to eat some pink Peeps-branded Oreos to put them in that Easter mood. 

But imagine everybody's surprise when, after munching some pink-colored Peeps Oreos, they took a big old pink dump. 

Yup. 

People on Twitter are complaining that the Peeps Oreos are making their poop rally. 

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24 Times Facebook Replies Were Comedic Golden Gifts to the Internet

It's pretty damn awesome when people take to social media to vocalize exactly what you were thinking. We're not saying we agree with all these, but a surprising number weren't too far off the mark. 

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Tagged: relatable , facebook , social media

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Brie Larson Is Taking Heat for Showing 'Too Much Cleavage' On British Family Show

What's up people? Can we not have nice things anymore? Is nothing in this crazy, wild world sacred? Apparently certain individuals with a detestable appetite for keeping talk show guests 'covered up' are riled up about the arrestingly beautiful Brie Larson showing too much skin on a British Talk Show. Ahem. Excuse me, but 'too much'? How about not enough? 

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Tagged: marvel , cleavage , brie larson , controversy , ridiculous , Video

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Restaurant Owner Puts Whiny Customer Who Failed to Leave Honest Yelp Review In Her Place With Awesome Response

If you're going to take the time to leave a scathing Yelp review for a shitty restaurant, in hopes to deter future customers from considering offering their hard-earned coin, then seriously just tell the truth. Not only does this women come across like a five star high maintenance complainer who probably made her server's life a momentary living hell; but she doesn't even do the rest of the world and the restaurant the courtesy of telling the damn truth! At least the owner struck while the iron was hot, and lashed out with a solid reply that had to have put her in her place.

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Tagged: reviews , awesome , restaurant , yelp

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22 Times Aspiring Cooks Failed and Got Roasted to a Sizzling Crisp By Gordon Ramsay on Twitter

These people invited the self-esteem pulverizing feedback of the infamously unforgiving, perpetually at odds with the world, Gordon Ramsay, on themselves. Fortunately, after given enough time to lick their wounds, they went ahead and shared what it's like to find yourself on the Ramsay chopping block. 

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Tagged: twitter , FAIL , gordon ramsay , roast , food

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Guy Creates Troll Tinder Account Using Male Model Pics, Doesn't Fail to Pull Amazing Number of Thirsty Chicks

I get it, I get it: shocker right? Bro with affinity for trolling and Imgur fame breaks out the fake male model Tinder account, and manages to get away with being a bane of the earth, insensitive, sex-crazed, depraved simeon. Do really really ridiculous good looking people just get away with being, well, shittier people, or what? Obviously the results from this dude's 'social experiment' have been skewed and framed in such a way that highlights the more ridiculous encounters for the sake of those self-serving upvotes, but it still makes you wonder. Or wait, does it.

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Tagged: Social Experiment , tinder , dating

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Tom Hanks, America's Undisputed Father, Bought The White House Press Corps a Passive Aggressive Gift, Like Any Good Father Would

When your dad wants you to paint the fence, he buys you a brush for your birthday. So why wouldn't Tom Hanks, America's dad, by the White House press corps a passive-aggressive gift. 

Recently, dad sent the White House Press Corps a new espresso machine along with a little message.

BREAKING: White House press corps receives brand-new espresso machine from @tomhanks. Come for the coffee... stay for his note. 👇 http://pic.twitter.com/cirbLKHEt0

— Peter Alexander (@PeterAlexander) March 2, 2017

The note is accompanied by a cartoon by Pulitzer Prize-winner Bill Maudlin, which contains the caption "Fresh, spirited American troops, flushed with victory, are bringing in thousands of hungry, ragged, battle-weary prisoners. (News item)," reads: 

To the White House Press Corps

Keep up the good fight for

Truth, Justice, and the American Way. 

Especially for the Truth part. 

The internet, as you can imagine, loves this. Check out some of the response below.

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Tagged: tom hanks

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26 Memes That Are Neither Fresh nor Dank but That We Guarantee Will Make You Laugh Anyways

Fresh isn't always better. 

Well ok, it usually is. 

Regardless, here are 26 memes that will make you laugh even though they aren't fresh out of the meme kitchen. 

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Tagged: Memes , meme list , daily dose

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Complete Strangers Rip Bong Together, Get Baked, Ask Each Other Hilarious First Date Questions

The first date is generally the worst date when compared to the rest of the evolutionary dating cycle. So. What better way to break the ice and cut through the dense atmosphere of an awkward first date than to bring Mary Jane along as a plus one.

Nothing quite says modern, progressive-thinking romance like finding true love halfway through exchanging puffs off a fine-rolled joint of Indica or hungry grabs out the shared bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos. 

Submitted by: (via WatchCut Video)

Tagged: marijuana , love , funny , dating

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Unfaithful Girlfriend Has Epic Fail, Accidentally Sends Soul-Crushing Text to Boyfriend About Plans to Cheat on Him

Jordan McNelly was chugging along, living easy, ready to enjoy a nice day off when his mentally-incapacitated girlfriend sent off the unholy grail of 'wrong number' texts. I think our newly single bro back in the world of bachelorhood is getting off easy. Either way you deal this shitshow out, it hints at a serious mental mess of a girlfriend: she sent it off to him on purpose in attempt to initiate break-up in most brutal way possible; or she was so immensely clueless and careless she sent off a relationship-crushing text to the dude she was dating. At least the Twitter peanut gallery was around to step forward with much appreciated comedic relief. 

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Tagged: Sad , girlfriend , cheating , dating

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And for dessert?

Submitted by: (via iihtw)

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11 Former Disney Park Employees Dish Out Their Darkest-Humored NSFW Stories

These hilarious, vaguely gruesome accounts make me want to see a revised 'honest trailer' for what you're actually signing up for being around, next time you up and head to a Disney Park. Also. Maybe it's just the landscape of modern day television, but I've noticed a lot of the darker, thriller tv shows I've binged on Netflix feature particularly unsettling, climactic scenes/unnerving discoveries occurring within the absurd neon-lit confines of amusement parks. It's like the writers got it in their heads the best way to spotlight rule-breaking, deviant behavior is to contrast the tendencies with kids' laughter, echoes of amusement park rides, etc. 

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Tagged: NSFW , disney , cringe , askreddit

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When You Don't Follow Your Own Advice

Submitted by: (via xFIERCExHOBOx)

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29 Texts From Exs That We Can All Relate To

After a certain point in life, unless you're some shining beacon of hope of a human being who finds 'true love', we all have ex's. You might try to pretend they don't exist, but that doesn't mean they aren't out there, living and breathing and maybe even thinking of you.

Well, at some point or another I'm sure you've either attempted communication with them or had them attempt to contact you and for that reason most of us will be able to relate to these conversations. 

These are 'texts from your ex' that will inspire you to continue avoiding that person out there that you actively avoid. 

After all, they don't all live in Texas folks.

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Tagged: sex , text , relationships , texting

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Speeding Truck Goes Full Dukes of Hazard In Police Chase

Those Duke boys are at it again. 

During a high-speed pursuit, this 18-year-old went airborne in his pickup truck and landed on a car in Webster Parish, Louisiana. 

We have not confirmed yet, but the suspect was quoted as saying, "Ooooh, shiiiiiiiiiiiiit" when airborne.

The landing pad aka the other car, a Toyota Corolla, actually had a person inside it. But nothing stops Barbara Harlon, the woman inside the Corolla. 

"I felt around to see if I was hurt and could tell that I was okay," Harlon told KSLA.com. "God was with me."

Submitted by: (via KSLA)

Tagged: car crash , police

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Here Are 29 Tattoo Fails That Will Kill Your Mother When She Finds Out

Tattoos last forever, but a mother's love is finite. Want to lose one and gain the other? Try getting one of these shitty tattoos, which is certain to kill your mother when she finds out. 

Want to get a lip tat? Prepare to watch your mother keel over and die right in front of you when you go over her house. 

I hope you're happy.  

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Tagged: tattoos , Ugliest Tattoos

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Watching This Sumo Wrestler Trying to Get Up After Getting Laid Out Is My New Favorite Thing

Look, I've only ever been knocked out once in my life, and it was by a sumo wrestler, so I know exactly what this dude is going through.

After taking a shot from a sumo you go through five stages:

1. Denial — There's no way I just got knocked out by a sumo
2. Anger — When I get up, he's donzo
3. Bargaining — Please, PLEASE, don't let me die here.
4. Depression — It's hopeless. I'm going down. 
5. Acceptance — This is my life now. I live on the floor.

Watching this sumo go through these stages is painful and hilarious. Enjoy it. 

Submitted by: (via Hipersuperchannel)

Tagged: knock out , wrestling , sumo

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Meet Winnie, the Cat Who Ate 46 Hair Ties and Lived to Tell the Tail

Pun intended.

Cats eat a lot of weird things, like freedried chicken parts and other fun, gross smelling things. But this cat is tied up in something even weirder. According to this post from the Animal Emergency & Critical Care of Lynchburg, Winnie ate something like 46 hair ties. 

Gross. 

Clean up your floors. 

via whatshouldgeorgiacallme

Submitted by: (via Animal Emergency & Critical Care of Lynchburg)

Tagged: Cats , hair ties , veterinarian

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Bro With Heavenly Locks Dressed Up As Jesus Fails and Gets Cross Stuck In Underground Station Roof, Has Unholy Reaction

When you don the great white flowy robes, lug around a wooden cross, and put on the act that you're Jesus Christ in public; it's generally solid practice to put the profanity in timeout mode.

I want to lob our godlike broheme of the hour the benefit of the doubt, and assume he had every intention of not failing blatantly and getting his cross stuck in that underground station rafter. Better luck next time, man. 

Submitted by: (via Last FilmStar)

Tagged: jesus , religion , FAIL , swearing , Awkward , funny

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