Trumpcare isn't really going that well for the GOP. In addition to comparing health care and buying a cellphone, that reality-TV gameshow host asking everyone not to call it "Trumpcare." If that guy doesn't like it, I don't know what to say.
Stephen Colbert broke it all down last night on The Late Show, and it all does kind of sound very Game of Thrones-y.
Submitted by: (via The Late Show with Stephen Colbert)
There's a war coming between man and machine. And I'm going to be very blunt with you, we are losing.
How do I know? Well, last week, a robot destroyed a Rubik's Cube in under a second, so how do we ever expect to strike first?
You're probably thinking, what does a Rubik's Cube have to do with the fight for civilization, and the answer is problem solving. While we're still thinking about the cube, they're launching rockets. It all makes sense.
Submitted by: (via Guinness World Records)
I usually order my "medium rare chicken" under it's real name "salmonela."
Twitter, who seems to be having some sort of identity crisis when it comes to food this week, has settled on yet another gross food trend: Medium rare chicken.
So it seems that we're off of pineapple pizza and dunking pizza in milk and have just commited to killing ourselves with food poisoning.
I mean, who is this appetizing to:
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Apparently, the connection between the porn you watch and the games you play is closer than we thought.
YouPorn reported a massive traffic drop last weekend, following the release of the Nintendo Switch. This isn't entirely surprising; YouPorn usually sees drops during big cultural events, like holidays, Super Bowls, TV premieres, etc.
Since March 3, there was a 15 percent drop from YouPorn users who self-identified as gamers. Drops continued into Saturday, which saw a 17 percent drop, but ticked up — but was still down — slightly on Sunday, which saw a 13 percent drop.
But all that pales in comparison to the fact that Nintendo and Nintendo-related searches skyrocketed. What, no one uses Deviant Art for the video game-related sex cartoons anymore? Here are the numbers:
Wait, Bowser? Yup. Bowser. Apparently, no one wants to J.O. to Waluigi anymore.
Submitted by: (via The Verge)
This prank scales pretty far up there on the painful kind of cringeworthy prank category. Poor dude thinks he's just laid eyes on another man's wife, and you can see the clear frightened state of shock it throws him into.
Submitted by: (via Funny PranksTv)
I can almost hear the booze-charged, blind drunk yells of the nearest frat house down the road, as the metallic clang of fresh-emptied kegs wipe clean the peace of an otherwise typical Thursday morning/afternoon/evening. The frat though, you know the one that always managed to clear out the nearest convenience store of all the light and cheap beers, cause drinking to excess 24/7 ain't an easy thing to budget? Yeah, well these fine displays of alcohol-induced (and/or whatever else was in their system at the time of full-on mindlessness) fail will either inspire you to turn it up to 11 this Thirsty Thursday, or just, never drink again.
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Once noon passes and the blazing ball of fire in the sky is doing its very best to put you to sleep, it's nice to have a little something to keep you going through the day. Not that any of that pertains to us here at Fail Blog and Memebase since it's cloudy and raining. It's always cloudy and raining. We haven't seen the sun in like 9 months. I've practically forgotten what it feels like to get some of that sweet sweet vitamin D.
Anyways, I digress. One of you readers, somewhere out there, is being lulled to sleep by some sunshine.
Wherever you are, this one's for you.
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This perverted, bane of the earth, depraved simeon is completely off his damn rocker. His head's clearly been shoved up his ass for such an extended period of time that he's come to terms with a self-created, shit-coated reality.
Not only does he blow things with his madly attractive girlfriend, but he also has strange incestual tendencies, and a sociopathic disregard for how to maintain common human decency.
Submitted by: (via To Catch a Cheater)
Before the backlash ensues about running a good 'ol green text story that may or may (most likely) not be entirely true, just hold your horses and appreciate the creativity evident in this sexually depraved little tale. If the dude's goal was to bring back the kind of glory stories that'd keep his friends entertained long into their older years, than mission accomplished. Can't imagine this is what his dad had in mind for his son when he encouraged him to get out and explore the world though.
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Ryan Reynolds continues to prove that he is Deadpool irl through his antics on Twitter. It has been hilarious watching him playfully harass Hugh Jackman over the release of Logan. His parenting advice id always pretty clutch too. His antics never fail to make us smile, and that is why we still consider him to be the God-King of twitter.
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Bros, let's be real here, just becuase you think you're acting like a gentleman doesn't mean you are.
Now we don't know the full story here or any of the story really, all we see is this dude getting clowned hard. However, judging by the violin, he's probably the type of dude to wear a fedora and call women "m'lady," WHICH NO ONE WANTS EVER. I mean, least of all this woman, who will not be forced into a marriage with such a herbert.
She shuts him down, the violin player laughs, and the food court (the perfect setting for every romantic occasion) applauds in approval. Let this be a lesson to you all: Only propose when you're absolutely sure that your partner will say yes. Don't be like this sad bastard.
Submitted by: (via ViralHog)
These harrowing tales are as vile and rancid and stomach-turning as a couple of their Exploding Cheese Chicken Sandwiches served three weeks past expiration date. After working through round two of these, I think it's pretty evident; we gotta kickstart the shit out of an HBO series centered on the hurricane of chaos that rips through Jack in the Box on a regular basis. The fast food industry plays host to a wealth of craziness let loose to roam, so it's about time we give the people putting up with all the insane antics some well-earned spotlight.
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The consistently comedically gifted WeNotSucks hopped on Twitter yesterday to run a relatable analysis on the ups and downs of an orgy. His thought-stirring stream of tweets actually managed to spotlight the likely concerns of any sexual deviants out there considering giving the group sex thing a run. Initially, you'd kind of assume any thirsty man out there would jump at the chance of uninhibited group sex, but the further you get into this dude's thought process, the less that seems true!
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All your memes are belong to us. So here's a whopping 50 more to keep that late morning going strong.
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There are few things in this world I love more than a good mascot fail. You get top points if that fail is performed by Clutch the bear, the infamous bear mascot of the Huston Rockets, who's the best.
This one's pretty good, too, though. During the Phoenix Suns-Washington Wizards game last night, a guy in a gorilla suit did a little slip and slide onto the court for some reason. Check it out:
That gorilla is none other than the Phoenix Suns mascot, The Suns Gorilla. Now, why this happened is as big of a mystery as why the Phoenix Suns mascot is a gorilla. But one thing is for sure, the Suns don't seem to find this all that surprising because no one seems to give a shit.i can't stop watching this http://pic.twitter.com/LRphUzEsuw
— James Herbert (@outsidethenba) March 8, 2017
@outsidethenba @RandBall Can they make a 30 for 30 on this clip overnight?
— Tom Murphy (@tgagemurphy) March 8, 2017
@JSonSalesforce @outsidethenba 😂 this crackin me up man, def a 1st
— Tarek Hassan (@TarekHassan1) March 8, 2017
@outsidethenba pretty sure the Gorilla is just reenacting the defense in this game or lack there of.
— Greg Esposito 🤔 (@Espo) March 8, 2017
@outsidethenba Would read an oral history of the Suns gorilla diving onto the court
— Kyle Neubeck (@KyleNeubeck) March 8, 2017
Submitted by: (via @outsidethenba)
Hotel maids have just damn near about seen it all, when it comes to twisted, sickening, ridiculous remnants of depravity. It's almost like these people forgot (or the latter more likely reality being, they didn't care) someone was bound to clean up all their shit.
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Apparently, cheating means different things to different people. Like, I always thought that, you know, becoming involved with someone else romantically or sexually was cheating. But that's not the case for everyone.
These people are trying to get through a conversation about cheating in front of their significant others, and it gets really uncomfortable. Like, when they admit that they've cheated on people before.
Honestly, just don't cheat and you'll be better off.
Submitted by: (via WatchCut Video)
Why 51? Cause it's one better than 50.
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Normally fun-facts will try to sell themselves as something you 'totally need to know'. Well, we'll be honest. These aren't those kind of facts. These facts are completely non-essential to your well-being and everyday life.
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There's been a lot of talk recently about what former-president, current-private citizen Barack Obama is up to. Did he wiretap Trump? Is he planning a coup?
The answer is no. He's just windsurfing and wearing leather jackets. That kind of thing.
But that's not keeping curious people from asking their Google Home if Obama's up to something, and the answer is hilarious. Is Google Home hooked up to Breitbart, InfoWars, or something? We're not ruling anything out.
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Pink Starburst are the undisputed king of Starburst. It's the blue Blowpop of the Starburst world.
But after years of making us wade through the muck and mire of red and yellow Starburst, Mars candy is finally giving us what we want: An all pink bag of Starburst. I guess we can consider the world's problems solved.
People on Twitter are going crazy for this, and who could blame them, pink Starburst are the shit. And not that pink shit, like the Pink Peeps Oreos caused.
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Samuel L. Jackson is an American treasure. From Do the Right Thing to The Hateful Eight, and Jurassic Park to The Avengers, he's been a staple of classic films, providing audiences with an entertaining and important infodump. Let's just say if you need to get through some exposition, you could do a lot worse than Samuel L. Jackson.
But what do we know about Samuel L. Jackson? For a guy we've watched and enjoyed for decades, I'd say surprisingly little. So people turn to Google to answer their questions, but they might as well go to the source.
Jackson teamed up with Wired to answer some of the internet's most common and incomplete questions about the actor, and the responses, as you could imagine, are pretty bad ass.
Submitted by: (via WIRED)
Despite what many people will tell you, this is still America, and one of the basic principles of the constitution is the right to put whatever the hell you want on a pizza without shame... least of all something as delicious as pineapple. Pineapple on pizza rocks, nerds.
Now this has nothing to do with where you can dunk pizza, which is nowhere. Dunking your pizza in milk is a war crime. Sorry, gross jerks of the world.
On his show last night, Jimmy Kimmel didn't even ask people on the street what they thought, he just gave his own opinion, which was "once you turn 15, stop drinking milk altogether. People who dip pizza in milk, these are the people we should be deporting, leave the Mexicans alone."
And so continues the constitutional crisis of our time...
Submitted by: (via Jimmy Kimmel Live)
