Dad Jokes You'll Never Admit Are Actually Kind of Clever

Ah, dad jokes. You gotta live with 'em and you could probably live without 'em

 

Whether you're eating at a fancy restaurant or you're at an event with mixed company, if your father is present, there will be at least one dad joke. Probably five or six. It's important to remember that the job of a father includes nurturing, love, support, etc. All of that is true. But we cannot forget that the primary responsibility of a father is to embarrass you and to do it loudly with unapologetic confidence. We must also not forget that the secondary responsibility of a good dad is to laugh the most at his own joke. You're not fathering correctly if you're not cracking yourself up while your partner and children cringe.  The more we embrace these responsibilities, the more we embrace the artistry of the Dad Joke. 

 

For more classic Dad behavior, check out these parenting tweets, and for now, keep scrolling below for the Dad Jokes of the century.

10 Top Trending Tinder Moments of the Week

Welcome to this week's top Tinder moments a collection of the "hottest" things this week in online dating. This week's collection features some short kings, cunning linguists, and one individual who doesn't like capital letters. 

A whole lotta conversations and text posts this week, so get your eyes ready for some good old fashioned reading. It's only a matter of time before we forget the art altogether as we'll soon be getting our daily dose of ads and entertainment via an algorithm that connects to our brain chips and reads our thoughts in order to give us our most compatible content. 

I can hardly wait, but until that day here's another tried and true listicle of some bizarre strangers on the internet. 

 

Impatient Parker Honks at Spot-Leaver, Takes as Long as Possible to Leave

Busy parking lots can be a stress-inducing nightmare, especially when you have somewhere you desperately need to be. Not to mention there can be tens of other drivers seeking to find that same unicorn parking space that you are. Cruising around the parking lot or nearby streets until you see someone walking to their car can sometimes be the only way to ensure that you aren't going to spend an undeterminable length of time driving around the lot in circles like it's NASCAR.

The appropriate way to hail one of these crucially departing persons is to give them a friendly wave. If you're not feeling shy, you can even roll down your window and ask them if they're about to leave. 

What you shouldn't do in this situation is antisocially start laying on your horn the moment they get in their car and start getting themselves prepped for departure. If you do this, I guarantee you will be waiting even longer than you would have initially.

Alas, this is the approach that a spot-seeker took when trying to take Reddit user u/jlb183's spot. They ensured they took as long as possible to leave in a fantastic act of petty revenge. They posted their story to the popular Reddit sub of the same name, receiving a warm reception from readers. 

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"Honk at me? Ok, fool, we dying here, how about that?" -docscifi808

"'I live here now.' 😂" - Catinthemirror

"Right? I'm sitting here and ordering a pizza for delivery now." -carrotkatie

"And the ones that honk are the ones who won't park in the open slot that's three spaces further away, or won't pull to one side while they wait so others can get through." -Fedupintx

"I think you met the guy." -jlb183

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For more petty revenge check out this apprentice who recalibrated his cheap boss's thermostat. 

Woman Invites Herself to Her Boyfriend's Family Vacation and Doesn't Understand the Problem

You have to hand it to this lady. She has audacity! 

 

This 18-year-old had started doing long distance with her boyfriend and after three months apart, she learned that he and his family were vacationing at an amusement park a few hours away to celebrate his sister's birthday. Rather than see if her boyfriend could extend his visit for some one-on-one time, she decided to invite herself on the trip and insert herself into a vacation where she was clearly not wanted. This thread was posted on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit by u/ultimate_yikesss.

 

Her boyfriend sent several signals that she shouldn't come, which she acknowledged and actively ignored. She also expressed frustration that the sister's girlfriend was invited and she wasn't. Perhaps that's because the event was, I don't know, the sister's birthday?! This, of course, didn't seem to cross the Redditor's mind.

 

She admitted in her post to having taken out some of her anger on her boyfriend and although they have since made up and his parents have given the two of them some more time to spend together, the tension remains. We think that tension will continue to remain until this couple breaks up like they clearly need to.

 

The Redditor's boyfriend and his family were not out of line to structure their vacation around the sister's birthday. It certainly was not his parents' obligation to prioritize this unstable relationship. 

 

We've seen other stories about couples on the rocks. This relationship fell apart after the boyfriend used approximately $800 worth of his significant other's skincare products.

 

Keep scrolling for u/ultimate_yikesss's original post and for the best reactions!

Red Flag Alert! Job Applicant Asked To Send Photo of Herself for Receptionist Position

People talk about red flags in relationships all the time, but not enough people are talking about red flags in the job application process. This woman was asked to send a photo of herself in order to qualify for an interview to work behind the front desk at a gym. She shared her story via this thread on Reddit's r/antiwork subreddit, where Redditors were quick to call out just how grimy this request was.

 

If the goal here is to hire someone with a certain "look" that fits the mold of what the gym is promoting, that burden should not be placed on the person working at the front desk. They're not hiring a personal trainer, they're not hiring a model, they're hiring someone who has the skills and experience to be a receptionist. It's not a job that should have anything to do with superficial optics; it's a job that requires organization and management skills. Pure and simple.

 

What's astonishing is how obvious this employer is about what they're looking for. You'd think someone so shady would be better at covering up their shadiness. But nope! That email response was about as unprofessional as looking for other jobs on Linkedin while in the office. Who does that? Not me! Never!

 

This isn't the first time we've come across stories of job applicants standing up for themselves in the interview process. This applicant was uncomfortable with sending strange video recordings in the place of a first-round interview. 

 

Keep scrolling for the original post and for other Redditors' impassioned reactions! The original poster later included an update from the employer, which you can find below as well! 

'You might go to jail if you don't work overtime': Employer and Labour Board threaten charges and arrest if employees refuse 12-Hour overtime shifts

With the backing of the local Labour Board this employer has allegedly issued this cease and desist to their staff, threatening scaffolders with charges and imprisonment if they refuse to stay after their 10-hour shift for "voluntary" overtime. 

The cease and desist claims the company has received a determination from the Alberta Labour Relations Board that declares workers "Have engaged in a strike or job action by coordinated refusal to work overtime." A matching determination listed on the Alberta Labour Relations Board site gives credibility to these allegations.

Reddit user u/Revolutionary-Job361, who posted photos of the cease and desist, claims that their Father works at a "giant oil mine" in Alberta, Canada. The mine has reportedly been struggling to attract workers and has resorted to providing incentives for workers taking on extra shifts. This extends to most working groups but not to the scaffolders. As a resort, the user writes, the scaffolders have defaulted back to their contracted hours, refusing to work the "voluntary" overtime that the employer was offering.

"So they started only working the hours required under the contract. 40 hours a week. Everyone else is working 12-hour days 6 days a week. The company just sent a cease and desist letter for an 'illegal work action' threatening jobs, future employment, and even court MANDATED overtime with jail as a consequence for not working."

As the thread continued to blow up, commenters began asking where the determination was. "I can't help but notice the Labor Relations Board's order is not attached," commented one user who was doubting whether or not the determination even existed. The poster of the thread began responding to these comments with a link to the determination.

Section 4 of the Findings on the decision issued by the Alberta Labour Relations Board reads as follows.

"The Board finds the anonymous letter, and the Employees' concerted refusal to accept overtime shifts for the purpose of compelling the Employer to agree to terms and conditions of employment, constitutes an illegal threat of an illegal strike pursuant to section 71, and the Board declares that these Employees have threatened an illegal strike contrary to that provision."

These tactics are attempts by the employer to strong arm employees into partaking in this "voluntary required" overtime. It is nothing but bullying and scare tactics to force the employees into breaching their employment agreements. 

Responders were quick to point out and react to the sheer insanity of the cease and desist.

"They even put "voluntary" in f-ing quotation marks!" remarked Reddit user Ar-phis.

"'Beatings will continue until morale has improved,'" quipped user thehammer-24.

 

Fail Blog's 30 Most Memes of the Week

These memes certainly were some of the memes. In fact, they remain some of the memes that we have ever seen. That's why they're making it this week into our memes of the week… because they certainly were memes that existed during the week. 

A day late and a dollar short this week but here's this week's collection of memes that we've posted to Facebook. One might even say that they were "Top" memes if they were so inclined. 

Here are some comments from the last post:

"Watching breaking bad, what is the blue stuff they keep talking about." -NotAPilot

TheHardSmoot also pointed out that, in addition to mentioned 4-year-old male personality traits from item #30 last week, young boys also love trains. That indeed they do. 

'Tesla self-driving software is the worst I've ever seen': Autopilot Tesla's are Absolutely Demolishing Child-Sized Mannequins

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