A nice juicy funny tweet or tumblr gem is something you can quote later to your friends. The internet is a nexus of extremely specific and stupid ideas that get stuck into people's mind-brains and get bounced around like marbles in a paint-shaker, so it's only natural that there are optimal funny tweets to remember later and chuckle quietly.
Cleverness and intelligence are two very different things. The difference can be spotted freely lurking throughout technically correct dumb jokes and moments. Honestly, just knowing things can be boring. Setting up oneself up with some potentially confusing technically accurate logical acrobatics or painfully stupid literalisms is the way to go.
Those elves were laying it on thick with the holiday spice. It seems like there's never a moment of genuine comfortability throughout this "Talk to Santa" hotline experience. That's strangely impressive in its own right.
We remember as kids hearing all the insane myths about how piranhas could shear a cow down to the bones in minutes. While they're not quite that efficient in real life, it still looks like you don't want the attention of a bunch of piranhas.
There are people you know, people right now, living among you, people you work with, who don't know that pickles are cucumbers. There are competent people, with lives and families who have yet to learn that you shouldn't put metal in the microwave. And there's probably some phrase you've been saying wrong your entire life, like "for all intensive purposes" that you have yet to realize is wrong. So good luck with that and enjoy some painfully obvious things people didn't realize for way too long.
There's absolutely nothing the denizens of tumblr love more than over-rationalizing the lore of children's movies. This deep dive into the Incredibles, this thread on the scariness of Coraline featuring Neil Gaiman, and this lawyering of Pirates of The Caribbean all go to show that Tumblr is the de facto space for getting in too deep on movies that came out more than ten years ago. So naturally we're finally getting around to Minions.
It's extremely easy to get caught up in the grind of daily life and assume the worst in people. Sure, bad things happen, but it's important to remember that people still do wholesome things for the love of the game. There are still girls setting up dirt restaurants and janitors getting well-deserved jobs. There are still blessed images and stories people tell each other about wholesome grandmas summoning demons. As much as it seems like the grind never stops, people don't stop trying to be nice, either.
You love to see it. A bossy, distrustful customer comes in thinking he's gonna teach these folks a thing or two about measurements only to have his plan blow up in his face. Couldn't he have just asked them to weigh the original bag? In a heated customer service situation all rationality goes out the window and we're left with stories like the time a customer got a burrito cut in half longways.
Social media has a steep learning curve for the old. It's a lot of folks using the laughing emoji when sharing sad news, accidentally posting their sordid google searches as their statuses, printing out memes, believing even the most absurd satirical new articles, and speaking in all caps. But we gotta cut them some slack, cause these old people are trying their best on social media.
Having a lenient boss is great. But lenient bosses often know when they're being lenient, and taking advantage of that can lead to a world of trouble. What should have been this dude's wake-up call turned into his own call to action where he decided to dig his hole even deeper. Not a great move, but a pretty typical one among coworkers who get fired at record seed.
We're all important people with busy lives and crammed schedules, so we're willing to do what it takes to get the job done as quickly as possible. It doesn't matter how many upside down signs, improperly installed toilets and poorly painted road lines get in our way. Because we're hard workers dammit, and work is hard. Here are some more not my job moments of failure to really feel like you're excellent at your profession.
After seeing a company think it's reasonable to put someone through a 22 hour workday and offer them 2 hours to go home and sleep, it's understandable why this person would want to leave. And seeing how things go downhill right as they go? That there is some delicious revenge. For another unreasonable boss, here's the manager who reprimanded a broken-footed employee for sitting at work.
