Sunday, April 12, 2020

Thomas The Tank Engine Pulls Off Stunts


Thomas has mad skills. 

Submitted by: (via 5MadMovieMakers)

Twitter Thread: Man Documents Invasion Of Goat Overlords


Andrew Stuart's viral Twitter thread on his town getting invaded by an army of goat overlords is just our kind of entertainment. The confusion, the excitement, the general absurdity of the fact that the goats don't appear to give a flying frick about anything, makes this a true gem of a story.

1.

Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 6d v I think I just got a group of goats in Llandudno arrested. Let me explain... first, I saw this from inside a dark pub (the one I live in currently). I thought I was seeing things. So I took some video:

2.

Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 6d So I decided to see what was going on. They stopped on Trinity Square, and decided the hedges there looked very tasty (tbf, they probably are if you're a goat )

3.

Product - Andrew Stuart So I gave @NWPolice a call to tell them a load of kids (geddit?) were running riot (I didn't actually say that... sadly). They said they'd pass it on to officers. @AndrewStuart · 6d 101 unknown message call WhatsApp mail Vesterdev

4.

Text - Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 6d v And they sent a patrol car down who turned on the big red lights. So, I'm sorry if the goats got arrested. But they were being very naughty. Also, close the gates behind you on the Orme. And stay 2m apart at all times. 0:31

5.

Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 6d One more thing... so we get news alert emails from @Dataminr, like everywhere probably. Helps us find all sorts of breaking news. Never thought my goat tweets would Framing this one make it into an alert Trinity Square, Llandudno LL30, UK 08:19pm March 26, REPORTER 2020 EDT Police car seen chasing herd of goats seen on street near Trinity Square in Llandudno, UK amid COVID-19 coronavirus lockdown: Andrew Stuart, Reporter

6.

Transport - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 4d Goat update: they're back, and they're gathering in groups of more than 2

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Text - Property - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 4d v O 46 27892 O 5,990 Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 4d Goats that dgaf GLAN DAnd

8.

Property - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 4d Just kidding around, yeah?

9.

Goats - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d * Monday goat update: they're back. Again. And they dgaf. (H/t @86_leroy)

10.

Font - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d They run Llandudno now and we just have to accept that as fact. Shenkin must be giving them tips from the Royal Welsh. 9am - 6pm 90 mun Dim dychwelyd o fewn 60 mun 9am - 6pm 90 mins No return within 60 mins 16 TRINITY SQUARE 65 271,333 O 9,881 Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d They know exactly what they're doing. Have some lunch from a bush and then go for a lie down in the churchyard

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Property - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart I, for one, welcome our new goat overlords 16 TRINITY SQUARE

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Sheep - Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 2d Replying to @AndrewStuart Can't believe l'm writing this... they're back (again) 0:23 1.8M views 9 612 276,767 O 24.1K Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d I think I am now the man who stares at goats (in the middle of the road)

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Adaptation - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d They definitely dgaf 59 MADOC ST 0:15

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Text - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 2d This shows what it's all about. They're scared of me (a human) in this. They don't like people. They usually only come down from the Great Orme when it's windy, and only the back streets at the top of Mostyn Street. Now lockdown means it's empty, they're going further than ever. ane Camng Corporate E Ofe aes Business Lur MICOM huieg Free Deliver

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Product - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart 1d v Well... they're back #goats 51 27 509 ♡ 4,572 Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart 1d And they mean business this time #goats #llandudno

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Font - Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart · 1d v Llandudno is run by goats 144K views 126 27832 5,022 Andrew Stuart @AndrewStuart 1d v Got the interest of @PA now too (and everyone else) 0:21

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Architecture - Andrew Stuart O @AndrewStuart · 1d They're still here... they live here now I think

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Painfully Relatable Awkward Moments


There seem to be those awkward moments that are just so damn common, but for some reason we can't get used to. We've tried to forget about those little moments like when you can't tell listening to you at a party, or that weird smile everyone does when you've already said hi. For some pristine awkwardness, here are some of people's weird first dates and awkward high school reunions.

1.

Text - hirnfleisch 59 points · 2 hours ago · edited 38 minutes ago When you are videochatting, start talking and because of the delay you interrupt each other all the time. Stop talking, start again, interrupt the other one, stop talking.. Never ending story.

2.

Text - california_chrome 8.9k points · 3 hours ago 3 2 When you're having a conversation with someone and you don't hear what they say so you ask them to repeat and they do. But you still don't hear it and ask them to repeat again and they do. And you still don't know what they said. Do you ask them to repeat again (and maybe still not hear it)? Pretend you heard it and nod your head and hope it's an appropriate response? Stab yourself in the eye with a pen to create a diversion and change the s

3.

Text - aSadGirlsTongue 10.4k points · 3 hours ago When you start to tell a story in a group but in middle of sentence realize that no one is actually listening and ever so slowly you get quiet and hope no one took notice.

4.

Text - CammyMM 10.2k points · 4 hours ago 3 When you're walking past coworker and you've already said hello earlier. Everyone's making that weird flat smile.

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Text - ladies-pmme-nudespls 5.8k points · 3 hours ago When you think someone waves at you so you wave back, but they were waving at someone behind you.

6.

Text - Dominoodles 4.9k points · 2 hours ago When you're finishing up at the checkout and the cashier puts the notes on top of the receipt and then coins on top of that. Then the next person steps up and you're fumbling, trying to disassemble the stack in your hand, gather your shopping, say thanks and move away at the same time.

7.

Text - afrocircus6969 2.9k points · 3 hours ago Standing there while two people talk about something you don't know about

8.

Text - heapsgoodyes 2.3k points · 2 hours ago Watching a sex scene with your parents.

9.

Text - wapkaleem 1.5k points · 2 hours ago The fake smile on your face when you receive a terrible gift. TannedCroissant 417 points · 1 hour ago "Oh cool.... another mug.... I've been after some more of these.. oh and look, it's got minions on it... thanks Auntie Karen"

10.

Text - -EDGAR- 1.3k points · 3 hours ago When you're next in line at the grocery store with your mom and she leaves you to "just get one more thing" and the anxiety and awkwardness builds because you're up and she's nowhere to be found.

11.

Text - praddi10 1.1k points · 3 hours ago When your mom leaves you with some distant relatives whom you have never met.

12.

Text - StillNOtATony 1.0k points · 1 hour ago Ever drag your shoe across a tile floor and have it make a loud, wet, fart sound, so everyone in the room looks at you? Then you insist it was your shoe and try to make the sound again, but nothing happens? Yeah, that.

13.

Text - TheCobras 874 points · 2 hours ago When you reply to a stranger who says hello, but then realize they were on the phone and not speaking to you. Happened to me just yesterday and I didn't get any sleep last night as I couldn't stop reliving the moment.

14.

Text - TheBassMeister 609 points · 2 hours ago Being at a friends house as a kid and the friend's mother starts yelling at your friend. Being at a friends house as a kid and the friend's father walks in only wearing underwear.

15.

Text - Ells_Bells1 567 points · 2 hours ago When you've had multiple interactions with someone but you can't remember their name but it's gone too far to admit you've forgotten it so you just have to call them love or mate forever.

16.

Text - Sirnando138 142 points · 2 hours ago When the server brings your food and says "enjoy your food" and starts walking away and you say back, “you too".

17.

Text - katyisanut 136 points · 2 hours ago Walking through a doorway only to catch your clothes on the handle and have it slingshot you backwards.

18.

Text - PM_THE_REAPER 64 points · 1 hour ago Go to wash your hands and the water comes out at a thousand miles an hour, splashing your crotch. You are of course, at work.

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Guy Evaluating Cat Like it's a Car


"It takes a pet like no problem!" All this guy is saying is that it's a good kitty, but the way he says it sounds like he's an enamored mechanic.

Submitted by: (via Leo Swartz)

Tagged: pets , lol , Cats , funny , Video

Two-Sentence Horror Stories That Expedited The Fear


There's almost something scarier about a quick and brutal two sentence horror story. It leads your mind down a dark lit path, and then kind of shoves it into a free fall after the cliffhanger hits. These succinct two sentence horror stories certainly didn't waste any time at all, in getting their spooky messages across. 

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror +JOIN Posted by u/Tatsuya- • 1mo 1 2 1 S 7 Please, take me instead! I scream, grabbing at the two men who took my child "Sorry ma'am, children only" they said, as they continue loading up the last lifeboat on the ship. 20,2k 288 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/coolmemz · 5mo Everyday I get a letter from myself one day into the future. Today I didn't get anything. 8,9k 157 Share

3.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/EarthMarsUranus · 3mo It's been almost a decade since I last saw my mother. And she still reminds me every day that if I misbehave again she'll take my hearing too. 1 20,8k 143 Share

4.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/TitusPotPie • 4mo My four year old said he wished that people didn't have to knock. I told him about doorbells, and he asked me to install one on his window. 14,3k 128 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/minithemermaid · 5mo Two eyes peered at me through the darkness, then disappeared again. "No, no survivors down here," I heard the rescue searcher say. 16,1k 89 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/RhinoBarbarian• 3mo The world was thrilled with the announcement that the first mission to Mars would be an all female crew. One year later, the world was terrified when they all returned pregnant. 15,2k 273 Share

7.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror +JOIN Posted by u/[deleted] • 25d O 1 A 1 S 1 The aliens arrived with a message of peace and love for Earth. And as the first gesture of goodwill they removed the human parasites from its surface. 13,1k 193 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/Deiun • 24d ..she said last time, we're stuck in a time loop Which really pisses me off because that's what... 21,9k 323 Share

9.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/MrsGardevoir • 4mo "You're so lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend!", they say, and I smile. But looking him in the eyes, I can tell I didn't smile wide enough.. 13,4k 159 Share

10.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN Posted by u/Magical77 7mo My brother and I sat down with the ouija board, and both place our hands on the planchette, He said "Cole are you here with me?" I moved the planchette to yes. 1 9,4k 188 Share

11.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/Colourblindness. Christmas Contes... 2 My family moved a lot when I was younger. Every time we saw a picture of me on a telephone pole, we would pack up. 1 11,2k 120 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/MintClicker. x3 3mo 1 S 3 For my last wish, I wished my dad to be alive again. I stood atop his grave and smiled, imagining him screaming and clawing at his coffin lid as he did the two previous times I wished him back. 21,1k 195 Share

13.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/aesthetebby • 13d "Honey, monsters aren't real" Little does she know, I'm not her son. 1,0k 26 Share

14.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/alliedcola · 2mo After years of research and hard work, we'd finally done it. We'd made it contagious. 8,5k 176 Share

15.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror Posted by u/JustARegularToaster • 6mo I must admit, lucid dreaming really is as amazing as people say. But after 2 years, i'd like to wake up again. 17,9k 530 Share

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Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror 2) + JOIN u/EL_Duckington • 2h For the last 8 months I've found myself to be haunted be a friendly ghost that keeps refilling my kettle, water glass, and sometimes puts the dried dishes back in the cupboard while I'm out. That's what I thought at least, until I spotted a foot going into the attic.

17.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror 2 + JOIN u/ASEofspades • 13h As I stared into the mirror, I realized I'm no longer the man I once was The operation was a success, and the new face fits perfectly.

18.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror 2 u/dehydratedcat • 8h + JOIN I gazed into his adoring eyes as I watched him take every bite with such enjoyment. I waited for the poison to kick in, but was caught off guard by his evil grin as I sipped my wine.

19.

Text - 2 r/TwoSentenceHorror + JOIN u/LakehavenAlpha • 7h "Just a quick trip outside for some tp, bro!" That was fifteen days ago...

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Tagged: scary , wtf , spooky , creepy , Reddit