FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: 06/29/20

Monday, June 29, 2020

Actress Gets Genuine Laugh Out Of Conan O'Brien

Conan couldn't keep it together, and we can't blame him. She nailed those impressions.

Submitted by: (via Team Coco)

Tagged: humor , conan obrien , funny , Video

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Blind Date Participant Called Out For Being A Journalist

Man, she really knows how to break a heart. It doesn't get much more uncomfortable than this.

Submitted by: (via dwgpaddy)

Tagged: FAIL , cringe , relationships , ridiculous , Video

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Employee Maliciously Complies To Director's Demands

Steve vastly underestimated this employee and how far they would go to carry out their malicious compliance. Also, Todd sounds like a real life wizard.

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance u/Ars-Torok • 128d + Join 1 1 1 1 3 4 You are salaried right? Just stay up for this meeting. XL Before we begin dear readers, a brief bit of backstory. I have found that every company has a Todd. You will know who your Todd is, because he is who you call when you don't know who to call. When the unthinkable happens and everything is on fire and there is no hope of salvation, Todd steps in to fix it. Todd spends his entire time just fixing the unfixable. He has been w

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Text - Our Todd has an elite team to be on call when stuff breaks. Each team member is the highest authority in the company for one specific thing or another. They are the elite. Their word is law and to question them is to question Todd. Our story begins shortly after I had accomplish greatest goal, and became the newest member of Todd's team. Now my company works with point of sale. We sell computers, software, printers, card readers, and pretty much anything you need to take money from someon

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Text - After years working in the call center, I proved myself worthy of Todd's attention. I interviewed, tested, and became the specialist of Third Party Integration. My focus is the connection between our product, and whatever wierd stuff your company wants to use. Examples of this include getting smart lights to change on command from ordering kiosks, letting the staff control the new jukebox you bought with their employee ID cards, or getting the sales data for the day to report to your cana

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Text - It is important to note that during my time in the call center, I was paid hourly. As a specialist, I would be made a salaried employee, and would be on call. After accepting the position, I was told that I would have a trial period of one month to prove myself. I would remain hourly, but would have a pay increase to more closely match my expected rate as a salaried employee. I would have the title change and new responsibilities of my job, but I had this month to prove I was worth the ex

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Text - 5. the window of time to do one of these upgrades is eight hours 6. the fastest they have been able to do one is ten hours. All of this means one thing. They need a specialist to do the upgrades. One that knows their integration. I give Todd the "Put me in Coach" nod and a deal is struck. Todd is about to leave on vacation, which leaves me under the control of Steve, the director of The Support Center, who used to be my boss before i worked for Todd. I am now on overnights. Four nights a

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Text - This process is staggered based on timezones, so I generally am pulling twelve hour shifts. The OT is amazing, especially paired with the raise I got. Fast forward a week or two. The initial batch does not go the best. I have a 40% failure rate. This is due to scripts provided to both the client and me by the various third party companies used by the stores, including their music, food delivery, and credit card processors. Everyone on their side knows who is the bad guy here. Talks are in

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Text - reasonable sleep, before the meeting or after. Steve demands that I be there to account for my failures. I already have another specialist designed as my proxy for these sort of meetings, because sleep is a thing. I also explain that I am still hourly, but he wont hear it. He insists that I need to be there to explain why the project is going so poorly, and that my explanation better not just be throwing other people under the bus. He tries to explain that i am salaried and therefore need

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Text - I clock in at 10pm the day before the meeting. I do my upgrades, all three of which are successes, due to what I assume is a change in the third party back end. The scripts I am provided with work perfectly this time, and all goes well. The corporate contact I report to in the morning tells me the meeting is just to go over the new changes to procedure we went through that might, and I will get the cliffsnotes in my email. No need to attend the meeting. I thank them and sign out. Then I s

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Text - failures, sheepishly agrees that I was a good fit for the project. Then the meeting ends with the best part. The person giving the talk states that she knows I am asleep right now, so she will go over the changes with me personally when I get in tonight. Meanwhile, the guy I asked to sit in on the meeting for me will work with them to set up the changes to be deployed, (about three hours of work) so that it's all ready when I get in at ten. The meeting ends. Steve makes a comment about th

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Text - At the end of day two, I have spent 36 hours at work. Caffeine is my only salvation, and we are almost done. Near the end, I am basically waiting for a technician at my last store to finish testing, so I tell him to call me, and shut my eyes for about half an hour, just to rest a bit. All is well. I get called, everything is green. The vigil is over. Two of my friends insist on driving me home, where I promptly pass out into the most heavenly sleep I have had in ages.

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Text - I wake up to an email, asking me to head into work for a meeting with HR. It is my day off, so I am kind of perplexed. I head on in, and apologize for being fashionably late. The meeting is with the head of HR, who has a report that I was sleeping on the job. There is camera footage of my 30 minute power nap. I calmly explain that Steve had asked me to show up to the meeting, and then asked me to stay later to set up the changes, and by the time I took my nap (during what I called my paid

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Text - hours and change, due to my extended lunch break. Todd returned from his vacation and tore Steve a new definition of duties. From then on he would not be given control over Todd's team when he was away, and we would report directly to the CEO. The project completed without much incident. And I passed my probation with flying colors. Edit: a bit more info, since people are asking. Steve would later be fired several months later due to a similar situation where he threw someone so hard unde

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Tagged: employee , job , malicious compliance , work , ridiculous , Reddit

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Twitter Thread: Man Encounters Incredibly Believable Scammer

This guy's encounter with a dangerously believable scammer was something else. As it turns out, not all scammers are just fools getting trolled for their lazy, poorly calculated antics.

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalLawyer Oooof. Was just subjected to the most credible phishing attempt I've experienced to date. Here were the steps:

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Text - 1) "Hi, this is your bank. There was an attempt to use your card in Miami, Florida. Was this you?" Me: no.

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalL... · 3d * 2) "Ok. We've blocked the transaction. To verify that I am speaking to Pieter, what is your member number?" Me: <gives member number> (that number, by itself, is useless).

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Text - Pieter Gunst @Digital... · 3d v * 3) "We've sent a verification pin to your phone." ~ Gets verification pin text from bank's regular number - Me: <reads out the pin>

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalL... · 3d * 4) "Ok. I am going to read some other transactions, tell me if these are yours. ~ Reads transactions ~" Me: Yes. These are all legitimate transactions I made

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalL... ·3d 5) "Thank you! We now want to block the pin on your account, so you get a fraud alert when it is used again. What is your pin?" Me: Are you effing kidding me, no way.

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalL... · 3d * 6) Ok! But than we can't block your card Me: that is bs. ~ hangs up, calls the fraud department of bank ~ 2~

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalL... · 3d V --> Once I gave my member number, the attacker used the password reset flow to trigger a text message from the bank. They used this to gain -- access to the account. --> Then read some of my transactions to give the call more credibility

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalL... · 3d * --> Needed the pin to send money, failed at that step. --> Everything before the "what is your pin" seemed totally legitimate. English was perfect. The bank verification code, sent by the expected number, tricked me. --> The asking for my pin over the phone... not so much.

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Text - Pieter Gunst @DigitalL... · 3d * Stay safe out there people. And now... joyfully resetting all my passwords, filing a police report, getting additional fraud detection in place. Never a dull moment!

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Tagged: sketchy , scammer , twitter , social media

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Woman Battles Pushy In-Law With Resounding Flatulence

It sounds like this brother-in-law took personal issue and made a few too many comments on what he deemed "unladylike" nature of his sister-in-law, so it came time to fight dirty. The internet decided that his hearty overstepping and salty comments deserved some beef. For another fart story, here's a guy whose fart almost caused an airport evacuation.

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Tagged: sexism , men , revenge , farting , in-law , lol , argument , story , women , stupid , fart

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Entitled "Influencer" Expects Haircut For Cheap

This entitled "influencer" expected a big discount on a haircut because they were rocking ten thousand followers. Um, first off, these influencers need to give it a rest. Second, ten thousand followers is nowhere close to actually being able to call yourself an influencer.

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Text - I saw your post on twitter of hair and it's really pretty... how much Hi, I'm is it to do something similar for me? 20:06 Hey! It costs £120. That includes the cost of my trip to your place. 20:08 That's pretty much. Can I pay £50 though? 20:10 No, £50 is too low. I can do it for £100 though just bc you're one of her friends referred you and she says 20:12 W

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Text - Can I pay £55? I'll tag you on IG and i have over 10k followers so you'll get great exposure 20:14 Still no. £100 is as low as i'll go unfortunately 20:14 w But said you did her hair for free? I'm just asking for a discount, why are you being such a bitch? 20:15 All you're doing is making the hair 20:16

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Text - is my sister?? And she does my nails for free so I don't charge her either. Also, this is literally the cheapest you'li find someone making hair around here so Lmaooo. Um take it or leave it 20:19 Come on... I've got tons of followers and you should be doing it free Cos l'll bring you a lot of clients but ... I'm giving you £55.. be grateful and accept it 20 19 Hard pass, mate 20 20

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Hair - Okay fine... I'm gonna do this instead... should be like £45, Yh? 20:21.

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Text - Okay fine... I'm gonna do this instead.. should be like £45, Yh? LMAO 20 21 W Girl, first of all, this is way more complex than hair and you're offering less??? the absolute LEAST I would do this hair for is £150 20:22 And tbh, I wouldn't do it for that price for you bc i don't like your tone 20:23

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Text - Oh fuck off, you dumb dt. I was only trying to help you out because you look broke anyway. I shouldn't even be paying anything Cos l'm really popular and so many people would love to do my hair 20:31 The braids were absolute trash anyway I just wanted something cheap to carry for a bit 20:31 LOL okay. Keep that same energy when I see birthday party on saturday x you at 20 42 Today Hey, sorry about yesterday I was having a bad day and i took it out on you 07:20 Hello? 07:36

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Text - It's fine. 07:37 W So can you still do the hair? 07:38 For £150 I can 07:39 w How about for £60? 07:40 For £60 I cannot. 07:40 Oh, come on! £60 is great. I'm not being cheap or anything but it's a great deal for you. I'll recommend you to all my friends if you do it. 07:45

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Tagged: entitlement , FAIL , influencer , ridiculous , texting , choosing beggar

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Jobs that Look Fun but Aren't

Everyone has wondered if their life would be more peaceful if they worked in an animal shelter, or got to play video games all day. As it turns out, a job is still a job, and there's a reason people don't do it for free. For more insight into other people's jobs, here are bad stock photos of people's jobs getting roasted, as well as stories of the worst things people's coworker's did without being fired.

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Text - Bestspacecadet2 6.7k points · 12 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago Being a chef. All the flare and awesomeness they show on vice and Netflix is far from what actually happens in the industry. It's not all fancy plates and tattooed/cool haired guys doin their thing. It's a drug infested, law breaking work environment that only benefits the owners of a restaurant

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Text - math-yoo 8.1k points · 13 hours ago Librarian. It's not all books and being quiet. There are also spreadsheets.

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Tagged: wtf , jobs , job , annoying , work , unexpected , problems , stories , funny

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