The Most Wildly Insane and Entitled Parents of the Week (March 29, 2022)

Presenting: This week's list of the week's most insane and most entitled parents. Freshly curated from the bowels of the internet.

Remember that kid who bullied you in middle school on the bus? Remember the kid who thought it was funny to give his teammates concussions during practice on your High School football team? Remember that kid who sat in the back of the class and made masturbation jokes in the 5th grade?

I've got some terrible news for you… They're all parents now. And they're well on their way to introducing another generation of little hell-spawn terrors into the world. 

Someone, somewhere, who grew up with Will Smith or Jada Pinkett Smith is reminded of this horrible reality every time they see the couple and their insane children making headlines. This is also probably the reality for anyone who knew someone who was terrible before they were famous. 

 

Shipwright Shares Two Stories of Nautical-Themed Shipyard Malicious Compliance, Earns $900/hr for 15 Years

This week a shipwright (what the poster describes as being a "Nautical Carpenter") took to the Malicious Compliance subreddit, not once but twice, to tell their nautical tales of malicious compliance, including how they managed to earn $900/hr for 15 years. 

The topics were posted to Reddit's r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit over the last few days by the user u/Anony19087, with the success of the initial post titled "$6 Per Week" prompting them to post the second topic titled "$15 per minute." We love the related titles and themes between the two stories, with the first telling how u/Anony19087 complied with the shipyard's demands when they were too cheap to pay the "Own Tool" fee and the second sharing how they landed themselves in a situation of long-term compliance that saw them earning up to $900/hr. 

Hey, what's the saying? Whatever floats your boat?

_{Thumbnail Image: Joseph Barrientos}

Jaden Smith Roasted, When He Tweets "That's How We Do It" in Response to Father Will Smith's Violent Outburst

As the Will Smith saga continues to unfold, everyone is determined to throw their hat into the ring, including Will Smith's son Jaden. Now, Jaden has a history of saying and doing some insane stuff that has repeatedly put him on the sharp end of the Internet's roasting stick. We were all playing the "wtf did Jaden do this week" game for a while there, and Twitter had him constantly on blast. 

In 2017 his "Batman" single and music video made desperate attempts to follow in his sister Willow's footsteps. People, at best, referred to the song as a "guilty pleasure." Nonetheless, his parent's money, antics, and stupid white Batman suit were enough to buoy him up to nearly 16M views on that terrible track. 

I'll admit that I've done everything I can to push the Pinkett Smiths out of my mind in recent memory. The family's insane dynamic, beliefs, and ethics make me repeatedly wonder why they're still allowed to be in the spotlight. Worst of all, now the Fresh Prince of Stale Acting has an Oscar under his belt when everyone else in the category deserved it over him. Ok, I haven't seen Bardem in Being the Ricardos, but the performances from Denzel Washington in Macbeth, Cumberbatch in Power of the Dog, and Andrew Garfield in tick, tick…BOOM! were all master classes in acting. I'd argue that they were some of the strongest candidates in the category in recent memory. Meanwhile, Will Smith is always Will Smith dressed in different clothing.

The guy punches your presenter in the face, you let him go back to his seat, and then gift him one of the most prestigious awards in acting… When there were so many other deserving actors in the category. Just give it to whoever was your runner-up. 

Could the Oscars be any more off the mark?

I don't think we need to go more into the incident since everyone will know the story by now. So we'll leave that there. But, subsequently and predictably, the Pinkett Smiths continue to be the Pinkett Smiths and ol' mate Jaden has to chime in with his two cents regarding daddy's actions. 

And, of course, the comment is precisely the one you would expect from someone who grew up in a fantasy land and has a raging pseudo-messiah complex.

The internet has reacted in exactly the manner you would expect, so read on for their comments below. 

The Most Absurdly Out Of Touch Things People Have Heard

Can you blame someone for being wildly out of touch?

Of course you can, are you kidding? There are grown adults who haven't looked at the housing market or the price of college in literally decades, and they're out here trying to "give advice" to the people around them. It's weirdly common to have an absurdly rich person have to ask you why you would "choose" to ride the bus, and for some stupid reason it's still in your best interest to explain your situation politely rather than just saying "cars are expensive and my dad didn't buy me one like yours did, you unproductive, festering scab on the ass of the economy."

It's not hard to cultivate an atom of empathy for the people around you, but for some reason there are people who live their lives trying to resist it like it's a ball gag being pulled around their mouth. And that's how you find yourself at a party, very kindly trying to explain to a dead-eyed corporate lawyer's kid at a party that no, 20 bucks is still 20 bucks and you're gonna have to pay me back for the pizzas I bought, Kevin.

For some more winners, here are some features that quietly scream "I've got tons of money" as well as some of the dumbest things people have heard out of someone else's mouth.

Restaurant Sign Is Full Of Enduring Jokes And Insight

If we could get all our advice from a Tex-Mex restaurant in Austin, we would. And to a great degree, we do. Nothing soothes a broken heart like the warm embrace of hot queso. It's like a hug from the inside, and pretty soon all of our organs will be encased in a thin layer of love that will inevitably shock our doctors.

But restaurants only provide us with a gooey and delicious replacement for feelings, they also sometimes have a strong and persistent culture of sign jokes, to feed out hungry minds as well. El Arroyo is nonstop with the quips, and that's a beautiful thing. The big sign is a true bastion of self-expression. The foot-tall mismatched letters like a paintbrush in the hands of so many a Da Vinci. The many puns and jokes, each their own Mona Lisa.

Here are some more sign jokes for people who prefer their puns large and in public.

HOA Doesn't Tip On Massive Pizza Order, Gets Whole Neighborhood Blacklisted

To some, the HOA is a mark of quality, a seal of assurance that you're living in a "proper" neighborhood, whatever that's supposed to mean. But for many, it's just an organization where your most power hungry neighbors who have the most fascist ideas about what proper garbage can placement is and the most free time to argue about it get to stretch out their bullying legs and tell fellow adults that they can't paint their house a certain shade of gray.

There are tons of times when the HOA does more harm than good, like this busy body "HOA Karen" gets a guy's car towed without actually being on the HOA board or this time where a homeowner staged a revolution against their corrupt HOA. As it turns out, people don't like being fined by their next-to-zero authority having neighbors, and they're willing to battle with them.

In this case, a local HOA got too big for its britches on a massive pizza order, and guess what? No more pizza. Bad HOA. Bad!

Jealous Coworker Tries to Get Woman Fired Because of Her Implants, That She Got After a Double Mastectomy, Plan Backfires

This woman found herself targeted by a catty coworker after the coworker discovered that she had breast implants. The woman had gotten them implants at the recommendation of her therapist following a double mastectomy. When the coworker escalated the drama to new heights and tried to get the woman fired from her job, the woman turned the situation around on the coworker.

This post stands as one of the highest-rated posts of all time on Reddit's r/ProRevenge subreddit, where it sits with a whopping 72.5k upvotes. The topic was initially posted by a user who has since deleted their account, but the post still stands as a monument to her incredible story of revenge. 

This terrible coworker must have been jealous of the woman, her cruel comments and jokes reek of envy. Incredibly, the woman could get ahead of the situation and take substantial evidence to HR to defend herself. That seems to be the common theme in these situations. 

 

 

_{Thumbnail Image: Hello I'm Nik}