A woman was told by a stranger on the street to smile more, and with quick-thinking reflexes, she uttered a response that most of us would only think of in the shower hours later. Unfortunately, this is a scenario that women often face from misogynists who believe that a woman should always have a smile on her face to brighten up their own days with their beauty. I'm not sure if that's precisely the reason, I'm not a psychologist, but I'm sure it's some logically twisted reason like that.
It really goes without saying, but none of us should be making comments to random people on the street unless it's offering something of value to their existence. It's one of those "stay in your lane" type of principles that we preach so regularly here, and it's an important part of being a positive member of society instead of a massive a-hole.
It's perfectly ok to compliment someone on something nice they've done or on something they're wearing… But even that needs to be done in a way that isn't going to make them feel like you're some kind of predator -read the room and the situation every time.
This thread was posted to Reddit's r/pettyrevenge subreddit by Reddit user u/Revolutionary_Ant209
who shared their story to the popular revenge subreddit.
Commenters discussed the toxic behavior of emotional gatekeeping and telling someone to smile. Others shared stories and experiences of their own.
"I've always hated the 'You can't be upset about something because it could be worse' mentality," offered user blankslate1498 in conjecture. "Would you ever tell someone 'You can't be happy because it could be better?' Like, I understand trying to put things into perspective, I really do, there are a lot of first-world problems that don't even begin to compare to the horrors some people are living through; however, people are allowed to feel what they feel regardless of what others are feeling. Also, minding your own business is free, and more people should take advantage of that."
"Yeah it's a weird kind of emotional gatekeeping," responded the original poster. "Somebody will always have it worse. You could be an armless, legless orphan who survived a warzone only to be given a terminal diagnosis and somebody will STILL have it worse. It's not a competition."
The original poster was very active in the comments section, and she also offered these relevant thoughts.
"My other favourite is they tell you you're so pretty you don't need make up, so you don't put it on and they're like oh my gosh are you sick are you okay you look so pale... I give up."
"I've had that before. I've had 'Cheer up, it can't be that bad.' 'Smile' and 'You'd be so much prettier if you smiled'"
All of these are comments that most -if not all, women have had to endure. So let's just all pause for a moment and reflect on the expectations we might be placing on strangers.