Thursday, August 6, 2020

Morning Show Host Tries To Shame Bill Burr, Fails Miserably


One doesn't go after Bill Burr unless they are ready for complete and utter destruction. 

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Man Accidentally Livestreams Wife Discovering His Tinder Account


Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight. 

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Tumblr Thread: Entitled Coworker Can't Handle Service Job


Some people are more sheltered from the grueling stresses of service jobs, than others. That being said, this coworker was in for a nice, humbling reality check. Check out some more totally random Tumblr treasures over here.

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Text - fuck-customers A lot of them probably wouldn't last at your job Last year I had an internship at a fancy office during the day, and a food service job at night. One of the ladies at the office told me she needed a part-time job for some extra cash, and I let her know about an opening in my food service job, described what would be expected, all of that.

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Text - Guys. She quit after one (1) shift, called me the next day, and ranted, "You never told me it was going to be that hard, is that what you do every night?! I'm not 20 anymore, l'm 50, I can't believe they only pay you $9.50/hr to do all that work!" [For the record, I had coworkers who were 65+] She was shocked when I explained that yeah, most food service jobs require you to stock heavy boxes, work the register, and learn to cook/prep food, then clean up before you go home. It never occurr

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Text - jadelyn I've told this story before l'm sure, but when I got my first office job and escaped retail hell, I tended to stay at my desk on my breaks. My manager, well- meaning, passed by and reminded me to make sure I took my breaks and got up and got away from my desk regularly. I kinda laughed and said "Tanya, I worked retail before this. This entire job is a break, to me. I get to sit down all day. Just let me enjoy that."

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Text - And I still think about it sometimes when I'm in the breakroom in the morning. How I have the unspeakable luxury to take my coffee cup, go to the kitchen, wash the cup out, pour myself a new cup of coffee, chat with coworkers if anyone's in the breakroom while l'm doing that, and then head back to my desk before I really *start* my day. Without worrying that I'm going to get in trouble or be seen as slacking off. As opposed to the rushed "toss your purse in a locker, clock in, and get out

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Millennial Gets Brutally Honest About Financial Stability


This dude asked the people of Reddit whether or not they were in the wrong for getting brutally honest about the source of their financial stability, with their coworkers. People seem to be in agreement that this wasn't uncalled for at all. 

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Text - r/AmltheAsshole u/No-Wing-868• 1d + Join 1 1 5 1 AITA for being brutally honest about my financial stability? Not the A-hole So l'm 26, I have no student debt, and I own a condo outright. My coworkers and office are very anti-young people and constantly rag on "those millennials" and their "financial irresponsibility". I'm one of 4 people under 30 in the office, and my coworkers are usually shocked by my age.

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Text - They know I have no college debt because I mentioned it once, and I mentioned in passing that I had bought a condo. On the last happy hour zoom meeting, they started in on their talk. I tried to gently defend my generation only to have them say that I shouldn't because unlike them, I'm actually responsible, and I prove that millennial actually COULD do it if they really tried. Here's the thing. My aunt died when I was 8, and she basically left enough money and time for my parents to inves

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Text - Condensates • 1d • Partassipant [1] NTA. its hard to be honest about inheritance in our "bootstrap" soceity but thank you for doing so. Im so sick of people blaming other people for being poor, as if its our own fault that jobs pay less and houses cost more these days. I know 8 people in their 20's or early 30's who own a house or condo and 7 of those 8 either inherited money or won a settlement for major physical body harm. And all of these people work real, salaried jobs that make use o

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Text - Oldladyo • 1d • Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA. You should defend Millennials, just as you would defend any other group that was under constant criticism. I am ashamed of older people when they look down on people your age. They really have no idea how much the world has changed, how much more expensive education, car loans, mortgages, rent... Are in comparison to what they used to pay. They live in their own reality, and someone does need to set them straight. Good for you! Reply 543 ...

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Text - Blueberry_Lemon_Cake • 1d NTA. I'm currently on furlough and am not freaking out as much as other people, because I am privileged enough that if my unemployment were to stop, l'd have enough money to live on for 15-18 months. While several thousand of that was from working and saving, the vast bulk of it was a settlement from an accident. So literally, my financial security is because I got hit by а car. Also seriously, fuck them. I'm so tired of people not realizing that the economy now

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Text - caspiam • 1d • Pooperintendant [51] NTA but im not sure why you even engaged with them at all on this. I'd be ignoring it or hey, if you want to fight back, there is PLENTY wrong with their generation. Or you can say, you can keep shitting on my generation but i'll just bust out 'ok boomer' in response. They hate that. Reply 3.7k ...

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Text - catlady9851 • 1d NTA. I think part of the reason older generations have gotten so out of control with their criticism is that they were taught and taught their kids that contradicting someone is rude. It's not. Especially if they're wrong. Stop coddling them. Reply 250 ...

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Text - loomsie • 1d • Partassipant [2] 1 Award Hit them with an OK Boomer whilst savagely eating an avocado. NTA Reply 213 ...

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Text - ZennMD • 1d • Partassipant [1] NTA and good for you for not letting them use you as an example for their narrative. (And sorry for your losses! ) Sometimes people don't want to recognise how much luck and not hard work dictate their good situation as it challenges their worldview, the younger generation DO have it quantitatively more difficult than the older gen, much less factoring in the environment, mental health issues etc I would even pull out some cost comparisons to show how much m

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Text - Hedwygy • 1d • Certified Proctologist [24] 3 1 Award NTA. "Success" is 99% inheritance, either direct money or networking through family. Reply 30.2k ...

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Text - yerebelstale • 1d NTA. i often have to explain to my own parents (who gave me most of these advantages in the first place???) that i'm not special, just lucky. i suspect that previous generations tend to attribute their success to innate worthiness (and thus feel they are better than people who are less financially successful). when those of us who are similarly comfortable don't subscribe to that belief, it challenges their own sense of worth. Reply 30 ...

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Text - alexatd • 1d NTA. I'm now in this boat too and it's weird. My mom died and suddenly l'm financially set for life? It's horrifying and strange? Honestly I think Boomers need to realize: the only way their Millennial children (or grandchildren?) will survive is if they die and leave us their assets. Womp. (Though, to my own credit... I paid off my own student loans, early... b/c I have THREE JOBS--one of them writing books and I got a good book deal. Hashtag Millennial generation lol.) Repl

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Text - famousanonamos • 1d • Asshole Aficionado [16] NTA. But also don't sell yourself short. Yes you were lucky getting inheritances, but it sounds like you are being responsible with what you were given. You shouldn't feel obligated to defend an entire generation, I would just try to stay out of those conversations. Reply 62 ...

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Text - witnesstomylife • 1d NTA. You're just luckier than some people and it's better to be honest about it because most millenials/ older gen z who are independent are struggling. we *can't* pull ourselves up by our bootstraps because...well, are we even wearing boots to begin with? Reply 5 ...

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Text - Toastie91 • 1d NTA, and chances are a lot of the folk ragging on millenials are in fact millenials, gen y range for people born 1981 until 1996 so the oldest millenials are 39 this year. Also having family members is almost never a pleasant experience (I'm sure there are exceptions that would make it pleasant for some but that is irrelevant), these people are just jealous that their life isn't going as well as yours (that being in the generally accepted life plan for people, education, ma

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Text - BisquickNinja • 1d NTA I understand trying to defend your position. Honestly though, you don't owe your coworkers shit, no explanation, no breakdown, no talking, nothing. You life is your own and you do not need to justify it to anybody. As they say "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt"... Let the imagination of those fools run wild. Reply ...

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Text - YewsDid911 • 1d Nta but at the same time you saying that kinda proved them right in a way. Unfortunately now they are going to be going back to their generalizing.

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Text - KittybotANI091 • 19h NTA. These old farts need to know that life isn't easy these days. I've worked my ASS off for years, I have about 13k in student loans for two semesters of community college, one of which I couldn't finish due to illness and my dad dying, so nothing to show for it. I was a single mom who only managed to get out of my mom's house because I found a duplex a lady was renting for $450, and she probably thinks that's the average rent around here. She kicked me out because

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Text - Now, at 30 and 31, we're finally at a level of "almost comfortable" but I'm so used to being poor that having anything in savings, or a little left over in my checking makes me insanely anxious because I can't figure out the numbers for my bills if I'm not down to the last cent. Why do I have this money, where did it come from, where does it belong, what did I forget to pay? My husband is currently getting unemployment, and his job might not still exist after things open back up. Similar

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Tumblr Post: Big Buff Dudes Can Be Kind Too


This Tumblr post makes the world feel like a less scary and formidable place.

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Text - nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull

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Text - its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign?" He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them!"

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Text - Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "I didn't read it right did 1?" And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction.

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Text - flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start."

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Text - Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "can I pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax l'd never let anything hurt you. He's a good boy." I'll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me

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Man Defeats Petty Roommate With Padlock


Sometimes the best way to confront a rude roommate is to one up them on their annoying antics. This guy executed his petty revenge beautifully. Glad the problem was resolved. 

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Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/bye_ren • 2y Roommate takes my stuff, but gets salty when I take his. So I get petty. Okay a little backstory on this. I moved into my apartment in September, it's my first apartment and I moved in with a high school friend of mine who also happened to be looking for somewhere to live. He had always been wonderful with paying bills and to this day, we haven't had any issues with that. The only issues we've had are with his dog and the premise of this story, food/al

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Text - Now, from the beginning we had the agreement that everything in the fridge was fair game and same with the pantry. Being the only one that truly cooks in the house, almost all the food is mine. I didn't mind him eating the food, he would occasionally bring us home food from work (he works at a restaurant). However, my boyfriend being 5 years older than us(25), was also legally able to drink. My roommate turned 21 in November, so he was unable to buy his own alcohol and he would bum a lot

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Text - He continues by saying, "That's not the point, I told you not to touch them, so answer yes or no to what I said." Again, we had agreed everything was fair game. So l was a bit taken aback by this. I didn't understand why he could take my stuff and then get mad when I took his, but I said fuck it and said I wouldn't take his stuff. So, after a long weekend away, I come back and he had COMPLETELY emptied the fridge of most foods and ALL the alcohol (including mine!) and bought a mini fridge

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Text - was furious. First, I bought ALL of that, second, he always gives me shit about running up the electric (which I don't do, we just have electric heating) yet he buys a mini fridge! So I took the logical next step. I put a padlock on the pantry, fridge, and freezer because EVERYTHING in there was bought by me. He apologized as soon as he saw it, got rid of the minifridge and after I took off the padlocks, never complained about me taking stuff again.

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Teacher Thinks Diabetes Pump is Phone, Tries to Confiscate It


What is a diabetes pump for but injecting drama into a school? Sure this is technically entrapment, but the trap has been set. Not many students are given the opportunity to make their teacher look like an ass. Here are some wild junk teachers said as well as the story of an overly strict teacher telling a student not to speak.

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance · Posted by u/Sugar_Daddy24 20 hours ago Phone? Sorry, just my diabetes pump. oc M Just found this sub! This story dates back to my senior year of high school (2013). My school was quite small, we had a graduating class of 92 so everyone knew everyone. All the teachers were amazing and very involved in our academic lives, but for the most part had nothing but good intentions. Unfortunately there was 1 teacher, our English AP teacher, who was just an absolute jerk. Sh

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Text - I decided to fuck with her one day because she was quite clearly in a pissed off mood and the opportunity was perfect. I was standing in line for lunch and I got my pump out (I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8 and I have had a pump since 9). It looks a whole lot like a cell phone other than the tube running from it to my body. Without really looking closely it can easily be confused with a cell phone. She sees me playing with my pump and comes over to me. This is obviously not exact w

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Text - Me: Um no, I need this to live. Teacher: Give it to me now, I will not ask again. Me: No, leave me alone I just want to eat my lunch. She then grabs my arm and drags me to the principal's office. I was very close to the principal as I was the class president so I spent a lot of time with her planning school events and such. Teacher: This student had their phone out during lunch, refused to give it to me, and was rude and back talked me. Principal: Is this true (Me)? Me: No ma'am, my cell

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Text - Teacher: I saw you playing with it in line! Principal: (Me), please give us your cell phone. Me: Okay, follow me to my locker then. Teacher: No, give it to us now, it is in your pocket. Me: No it's not. Teacher: Then empty your pockets. I proceed to empty my pockets which was a pack of gum and then I have my pump in my hand because it's connected to me so I can't put it on the table. Teacher: Why would you lie to me when you obviously have it in your hand? Me: This is my diabetes pump.

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Text - Teacher: Why didn't you tell me? Me: You never asked if it was a cell phone, you just tried taking it away from me. Teacher: This is ridiculous, you need to show more respect. Principal: I think we are done here, Teacher you can leave I will talk with (Me). Teacher leaves and is quite obviously pissed off about the situation. I tell Principal the truth about the trap I set for Teacher and that I hope she isn't pissed at me and I won't do it again. She chuckles a little bit, tells me to go

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Ignorant Folks Getting Slammed with Facts


It must be hard being an anti-vaxxer or flat-earther. You have to dodge so much information! Here are some folks getting hit with some satisfying displays of weaponized knowledge. For comebacks with less science and more funny, here are clever comebacks from spicy silver tongues. 

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Text - Your Netflix binge-watching makes climate change worse, say experts. The emissions generated by watching 30 minutes of Netflix is the same as driving almost 4 miles 36 minutes ago A server hour can cost less than 1 cent all included. Netflix can probably serve multiple customers at 1 cent per hour. Even if all that cost is energy bills (it's not, there's real estate, capital costs, and markup included), that's .1kWh. 4 miles at .411kg per milel2l is 1.6kg of co2. .1kWh of electricity at 0

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Text - Jessica Meir @Astro_ Jessica My first venture >63,000', the space equivalent zone, where water spontaneously boils! Luckily l'm suited! 10h 0:04 3 84 230 @Astro_Jessica Wouldn't say it's spontaneous. The pressure in the room got below the vapor pressure of the water at room temp. Simple thermo ithelpstodream Some guy just mansplained space to an actual fucking astronaut. tedbroiler tfw correcting misinformation is written off as mansplaining darwinquark tfw when idiots on tumblr who know

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Text - Ross Tucker @Scienceofsport 3d However, even without that recent evidence, the biological principles for separation into men's and women's categories in sport are so strong that to overturn it requires exceptional evidence (2/) 95 2767 432 Kaz Self @SelfKaz 4h Are you a biologist? Are you a scientist? Have you got a PhD? Published a paper in a peer reviewed journal? If not then STFU. O 15 Ross Tucker O @Scienceofsport Replying to @SelfKaz and @sharrond62 Yes, yes, yes and yes.

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Skin - Was trying to think of the least scary thing I could be for Halloween...so I became the measles d Would you like to accompany me on my rounds? You can tell our measles encephalitis and viral sepsis patients, the ones in comas and seizures and high fevers, that their suffering isnt all that bad and is just being exaggerated by "Big Pharma" and clueless quacks who "HaveNt DoNe THEIR RESEARCH" like me. You can even assist with the spinal tap! Read your favorite vaccine insert to them while t

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Text - B.o.B Follow @bobatl The cities in the background are approx. 16miles apart... where is the curve ? please explain this murderedbywords With the circumference of 24901 miles, you are looking at a curvature of around .2 degrees, or a little more than 10 feet at 16 miles away. May I say, that curvature is still significantly higher than your IQ. 4d 4 likes Reply Stitch It!

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Text - When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below Freezing to 300 c. The Russians used a pencil. basilton: In the early years of space flight, both Russians and Americans used pencis in space. Unfortuna

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Text - I once drank 3.5L of whiskey in one night and didn't get a hangover. I'm convinced I'm immune to them. No matter how hard I try I can't make it happen I just wanna understand why people complain about them. Like Reply 20m You want to know why something sucks? Like Reply 15m >3.5l of whiskey Sure you did Like Reply - 7m | This is one I am calling for 500, Alex. With generous assumptions (ie. assuming low proof whiskey, large body mass, etc.), 3.5L of whiskey at 33% is 65 (US) standard drin

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Cheezburger Image 9530096896

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Text - Tweet Good perhaps ppl will realize that you won't die from the measles and it strengthens your immune system organically and not in some unnatural way. Ethan J. Lindenberger @ethan_Joesph16 Replying to @Nards649499551 and @FullFrontalSamB Oh man. I'm so glad 158,000 people have stronger immune systems. Oh wait...actually that's the death total of measles from 2011. 08:50 4/5/19 Twitter for iPhone ili View Tweet activity

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Text - shared post. 39 mins - ADDERALL CRYSTAL METH esteivay ar oopm For those of you who take adderall & swear you aren't a meth head. e Like Comment Share 3 As a biochemist, I have a duty to point out that the extra methyl group sticking out could increase affinity for neurotransmitter receptors by a factor of 100. possibly even in the 1000x-10000x range. That's a huge thing to consider It's this kind of affinity difference that causes carbon monoxide to kill you if it's in high enough concent

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Text - Alexander J.A Cortes @AJA_Cortes Unnatural hair colors in woman are a warning signal to stay away, Its an example Aposematism-the phenomenon of poisonous animals in nature advertising their toxicity and lethality JulieG @stringy Replying to @javafour and @Ennaaseret7 Aposematism is there to warn off predators, not sexual partners. If you're repelled by it, it's working.

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Text - Here is my completely unvaccinated boy so happy and content. With a fully functioning immune system working how it should without being compromised #vaccinefree 02 Repiying to That's a nice immune system he has there. It'd be a shame if Measles infected his macrophages, silenced his dendritic cells, and killed his memory cells wiping his learned immunity.

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Text - 65% 4:18 PM Replies ginganz13 7 months ago g Foxes are Lupine, not Canine - completely different species. The problem with putting more effort into sounding authoritative than being accurate is; you reveal that you are an idiot. 1.8K TierZoo • 6 months ago (edited) "Canine" is the layman term for all animals in the family "Canidae", which includes every animal in this list plus a few more (like the bush dog and the raccoon dog.) The problem with putting more effort into sounding smug than

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Text - Fact- if the earth was 10 ft closer to the sun we would all burn up and if it was 10 ft further we would freeze to death.. God is amazing! Sunday at 11:04am via Text Message Like Comment and 4 others like this. Wow..that's crazy! Sunday at 11:07am via Facebook Mobile Like I knooooow! Sunday at 11:08am-Like Amen Sunday at 11:08am Like to anyone wondering, that's not true. 1)Earth's orbit is eliptical and the distance from the sun varies from around 147 million kilometers to 152 million kil

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Text - + Replies + Replies п-пехапог Luke Z-Hex-3-enol This is a standard vaccine E-Hex-2-enol composition. Which of these chemicals do you object to having in your body? n-Hexyl-2-methylbutanoate n-Heptanol Camphor n-Octanol Ethanol Propyl acetate 2-Methylpropyl acetate Propanol n-Butyl acetate 2-Methylpropanol 2-Methylbutyl acetate n-Butyl propanoate n-Butanol n-Oct-2-enol 1-Methoxy-4-(2-propenyl)-benzene 24 m Like Reply Truly. Luke all of them 3 m Like Reply n-Pentyl acetate 2-Methylbut-3-eny

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Text - Your generation invented the "need" for expensive pills and potions with nasty side effects rather than taking responsibility and living with your problems. 1h Like Reply D 17 The Credible Hulk "Your generation invented the "need" for expensive pills and potions with nasty side effects rather than taking responsibility and living with your problems." - There are so many things wrong with this statement that it's difficult to know where to start. 1. The term "need" is utterly meaningless w

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Text - alex e @bahayogi Actually, soaps do help. The virus is a self-assembled nanoparticle and the weakest link is the lipid bilayer. When you wash your hands with soap it dissolves the fatty membrane and the virus falls apart thus becoming "inactive". Please wash your hands. TheeSkinnyLegend TM @MyLifeAsR.. · 1d Fun fact: antiBACTERIAL soaps that kill 99.9% of bacteria, do nothing against VIRUSES. And corona is in fact a VIRUS.

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Text - l 2degrees ? 12:14 AM Tweet Kind reminder. The X chromosome contains 1098 genes. The Y chromosome has only 78 genes. The X chromosome is over 5 times larger than the Y. Its science. Female are superior. By far. Hence hundreds of years of chauvinism to try suppress her. Goodnight. 19/02/18, 10:34 PM 19 Retweets 75 Likes Mh Replying to Onions have more DNA than humans Tweet your reply Q

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Lip care - It contains more than 4,000 chemicals and it has spread into every human body on Earth. Among its components are formaldehyde, acetone, ethanol, ketone bodies, dihydrogen monoxide, tryptophan, urea, Dehydroepiandrosterone, Hexosephosphate P, and at least 20 kinds of acids. Nearly every chemical constituent will, in certain concentrations, kill children and adults. Chemical compounds within it are also used in yoga mats, explosives, warfare, and industrial applications. It is now so pe

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Text - Dr. Phillip Binzel found an 81% cancer cure rate using liquid laetrile in apricot seeds. When he ordered this, the FDA tried to block the import of liquid laetrile in the United States. Liked by Course, pharmaceutical companies just wanna make more money :. more View All 25 Comments It was banned because ingesting it causes cyanide poisoning Imao

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