Monday, April 13, 2020

Witty and Stupid Jokes that are Technically Correct


Whether they're overly literal or just a really astute observation, these clever and dumb jokes are technically correct. You could say that they make no actual sense, are the wrong way to do things, and most of them are basically stupid, but these jokes are still technically accurate.

1.

Pen - This pen is amazing. It writes UNDERWATER. It writes other words too.

2.

Text - H Kay • 2 months ago (edited) Why I don't vaccinate my kids: My doctor does 925 יס 68

3.

Poster - Social Distancing Interval Test If tip turns red, politely inform them that they are standing too close. FIGURE 82.-Long thrust.

4.

Text - thyrell a necromancer is just a really late healer thyrell "you're too late, doc, he's...he's already dead.." *cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing

5.

Text - r/AskReddit A u/madvillain47 · 29m What movies have not aged well? Discussion Vote 1 Share BEST COMMENTS - Wizskinz527· 28m 2012, that was 8 years ago Reply 1 +1

6.

Text - Willanator 3 hours ago Erasers slowly sacrifice their lives because of your mistakes 4.8K 228 ...

7.

Toy - Don't forget to wash your hands Haris

8.

Text - That St Hwy 7 The Other St Zeeshan Hussein Visram Uber guy: where do you live exactly? Me: that street Uber: which street Me: that street near this street Uber: wait what which street where? is there any other street near you? Me: yes exactly near the other street *call ended Me: well that was rude e Ln CR This St

9.

Text - Spaceship design When building a spaceship, the tiniest details are crucial. For example, this spaceship may be flawed because it has a giant hole in the side.

10.

Map

11.

Military camouflage - These guys need to figure out if they want to be seen or not

12.

Leaf - I dont know how, but yon used the Wrang formala und 3 5S Aot the coert answer

13.

Text - Pastor Greg Locke O @past. · Mar 28 Well, what a novel idea. Good grief that's what the Bible has taught all along. Jesus is THE ONLY WAY to Heaven and you will NEVER need a middle-man. #NoHopelnThePope OpinionOpossum @OscarOpossum Replying to @pastorlocke Isn't... Jesus a middle man by definition. 8:38 AM Mar 28, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

14.

Text - The Neverending Story / Running time 1h 47m THE NEVERENDING STORY LIAR!

15.

Furniture - The Daily Loud @DailyLoud 21 Savage says he's sitting on two albums of unreleased music Big Papa Prime @Primetimelcoe Imma be honest that looks like a chair

16.

Photograph - Jiri @gmail.com> to me James Fridman <fjamie013@gmail.com> Hi James, I like the picture of my wife and I, but can you get rid of the other guy in the white hat please? Love your work!! Sure. NAFE

17.

Text - My concerned friend: Food won't fill that void in your heart. Me, a person of science:

18.

Text - shittycryptids A knife block that screams when you put knives in it. biggest-gaudiest-patronuses hmsdivinity g shittycryptids a human

19.

Text - Today 1:10 PM Hey dad, I got the job! What Holy cow that's outta this world Never mind

20.

Vehicle - This Unit.Will Be Out Of Service Until WE FIX IT BETTER BART. BETTER BAY AREA.

21.

Leaf - Moth Day 20

22.

Text - On the But on the outside I inside l'm may look cool and a fun guy a skeleton

23.

Pyramid - They say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built, but I reckon they just started at the bottom and worked their way up. Let's face it, this looks a lot more difficult.

24.

Text - A firefly is the opposite of a waterfall MemeCenter.com

25.

Text - r/Showerthoughts Posted by u/Jamster02 1h A ton of whales isn't even a full whale Mindblowing

Submitted by:

Employee Robs Museum To Call Out Lack Of Security


Literally, like a boss. Apparently, the story here goes in this particularly wild little Tumblr thread, that a boss' concerns about the museum's lack of security were being dismissed. So, the boss took matters into their own hands, and proved their point, by robbing the museum. Definite power play. 

1.

Text - flamefriendsshipped So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. flamefriendsshipped If this gets notes I'l tell the full story fandomlovingweirdo Storu

2.

Text - flamefriendsshipped Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars. The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriousty. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removabie piece of glass. My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn't taken seriously, so she took matters into her o

3.

Text - She bought a ticket and pretended to be a guest She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit. Literally no one even questioned her. She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss's office. Sh

Submitted by:

Tagged: boss , employee , tumblr , awesome , win , museum

Mates Use Technology To Make An Earth Sandwich


Earth sandwiches are where it's at. See, wonderful things occur when people work together. Maybe existence would be a more lighthearted and peaceful place if there were more earth sandwiches going around. 

1.

Text - harrisoncorboy OO (i You wanna make that earth sandwich You live in Australia or New Zealand? Australia Do you have a piece of bread?

2.

Text - Yes Are you willing to go outside and place the bread down and take a selfie with the bread even tho it's late over there? Anything for you

3.

Headgear - АВИ2 Complete the sandwhich my brother

4.

Technology - Earth sandwich YES WE DID IT!!!

Submitted by:

Home Sim Pilot Builds His Own Cessna 172 Flight Simulator


So, pretty much no reason to ever leave. This thing really immerses the viewer in the experience as well. 

Submitted by: (via Home Sim Pilot)

Twitter Thread: Wild Facts Left Out Of Tiger King


This Tiger King rabbit hole just keeps on going. It can't stop, won't stop. For anyone who is in the mood for some more Tiger King content after this list, check out some Tiger King memes over here.

1.

Cheezburger Image 9470167808

2.

Cheezburger Image 9470168064

3.

Cheezburger Image 9470168320

4.

Cheezburger Image 9470168576

5.

Cheezburger Image 9470169088

6.

Cheezburger Image 9470169344

7.

Cheezburger Image 9470169600

8.

Cheezburger Image 9470169856

9.

Cheezburger Image 9470170112

10.

Cheezburger Image 9470170368

11.

Cheezburger Image 9470170624

12.

Cheezburger Image 9470170880

13.

Cheezburger Image 9470171136

14.

Cheezburger Image 9470171392

15.

Cheezburger Image 9470171648

16.

Cheezburger Image 9470171904

17.

Cheezburger Image 9470172160

18.

Cheezburger Image 9470172416

19.

Cheezburger Image 9470172672

20.

Cheezburger Image 9470172928

21.

Cheezburger Image 9470173184

22.

Cheezburger Image 9470173440

23.

Cheezburger Image 9470173696

24.

Cheezburger Image 9470173952

25.

Cheezburger Image 9470174208

Submitted by: