Wednesday, July 15, 2020

A Bundle of Puns to Fill that Wordplay Hole


We're not sure if we like puns all that much, but they definitely have a time and a place. A well placed dad-joke can bring down the house or make you want to slam your hand in a car door. Either way if you're aching for clever and not-so-clever wordplay, there are puns to fill the pun void.

1.

Text - Michael Canter @MEdwardCanter Woohoo - Wisconsin hires!!!! So glad to finally get a job!!! OO I just got a new job making plastic Draculas. There are only two of us on the assembly line so I have to make every second Count.

2.

Grass - This is just margarinally funny. : is that butter? : no it's stonehenge :I can't believe it's not butter

3.

Conversation - Hey can I ask you a question about the menu please? Me: The The men I please is none of Waitress: your business

4.

Joint - Bone Btwohundredandsix

5.

Text - r/TwoSentenceHorror 2 Posted by u/Crystal_Spammer 9h 1 9 1 Tinder is completely useless, and I don't have a single match. If I don't find another way to start a campfire tonight, I'll freeze to death. 1 12.0k 117 Share Award

6.

Text - r/blursedimages ... 1.6k 18 1 Share BEST COMMENTS iaCyn 3h pooopybooy •4h BibleProtagonist 2h What would make him scream? Maybe she has 12 nipples? Sounds crazy dozen tit? Reply 14 Add a comment

7.

Product - This is a Stop sine STOPDIV

8.

Text - Patches @mostly_cheese OFFICER: the victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar made of antlers DETECTIVE: dear god OFFICER: most likely yes 20:30 · 06/07/2020 Twitter Web App 3,815 Retweets and comments 16.6K Likes

9.

Food - Soup Sodown

10.

Egg - Found Africa on my Egg this Morning, Guess I had Continental Breakfast

11.

Text - THE KRAKEN: Yes, l'd like to renew my lease, please. LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!

12.

Games - THE RECIPE SAID TO DICE THE ONION. I WENT TO A LOT OF EFFORT BUT I'M PLEASED WITH THE RESULT.

13.

Text - How green is your lettuce? 2 004062 002192 CETTÚČE GREEN AF PRICE/kg DATE 8.99 Biznando 0,24

14.

Snow - Nice tree dad! Are you going to put it up yourself? NoI will put it up in the living room

15.

Text - dangerbooze What country has the fastest growing population? Ireland. It's Dublin every year. bookthrower Do you accept constructive criticism? dangerbooze No.

16.

Pest - Nothing to see here, folks, just a very normal venn diagram BUTTER FIRST GUAUTY ver w A O 0:0:0 BUTTER TARLN Ta TT T orA o ro

17.

Relief - COOKING INSTRUCTIONS: Bake 2 Pies in the sun for 90 minutes Freaking News.com

18.

Facial expression - 50 What is 5Q plus 5Q? 10Q You're welcome

19.

Canidae - 1.5k 18 1 Share BEST COMMENTS QuintinStone 5h Poor thing looks exhausted. Reply 會56

20.

Asphalt - r/CatastrophicFailure u/DEV-12 · 34m i.redd.it July 8, 2019. A truckload of apples spread across highway, creates jam. Operator Error

21.

Text - 2 Deepos Hideaway DEEPO microsoftmail please bonerfart where is deepo. where is my beautiful son deepo. misskittyfantastico Okay guys, let me tell you about Deepo, the mascot of the Georgia Aquarium. For years, I thought Deepo was a Finding Nemo knockoff as well. And he might be that still. But then one year on my birthday (because you get into the GA Aquarium for free on your birthday and it's rad as fuck), I actually sat down and watched the cheesy 4D movie they have with Deepo and Frie

22.

Soil - Rob Tempo @TheGallowBoob Ground coffee

23.

Vehicle - This job isn't FUKÉNWORTH IT 57 DOWER STROKE ESELVE 216

24.

Astronaut - oh look ten bucks! I saw it first, it's mine. O think dropped it on the way here. Whose ten? We have a problem.

25.

Green - thelumpster: agentbartowski: laughing-fit: wastetheday: |"ICEBERG , ICEBERG!" i'm so done lettuce have a moment of silence in remembrance of the titanic

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Tagged: jokes , clever , puns , lol , silly , dumb , stupid , wordplay

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