Saturday, February 13, 2021

Twitter Thread: Science Professor Obsessively Ranks Gummy Bears


Just when we thought we'd seen it all we come across an extensive, impressively obsessive ranking of gummy bears from a science professor that managed to take this admirably seriously. 

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Confectionery - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo 12 flavors? Let's see what this is all about MADE IN THE USA Albanese Worlds Best FAT FREE • GLUTEN FREE. LOw SODIUM 217 12 FLAVOR™ GUMMI BEARS

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Nutrition facts don't care about your nutrition feelings on, 1Apple, About 3 Seiviiyo por vormamTI it, Lime, Serv. size About 8 pcs (30g) De Amount per serving Calories 90 % Daily Value* 0% mies Total Fat 0g you urely at's Now Saturated Fat 0g 0% Trans Fat 0g Cholesterol Omg 0% go nd Sodium 10mg 0% em Total Carbohydrate 21g 8% Dietary Fiber 0g Total Sugars 13g 0% Includes 13g Added Sugars 25 Protein 1g Calcium Omg O% Potas Omg 0% Vit. D Omcg 0% Iron Oma 00/

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Take that, freedom haters MADE IN THE USA se

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo I can't open the bag. Damn you, American craftsmanship

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Rock - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Are there really 12? Let's get sorting

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Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Welp. I can only distinguish 11 colors of gummi bears ..... ... D H. ....

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Alexa, compose a strongly worded letter to the Albanese Confectionary Group of Merrillville, Indiana

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Vegan nutrition - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Backtracking for a moment: I must applaud the nerve of a company that can straight up STEAL the term "gummi bears" and then turn around and trademark “12 Flavor" like nothing happened 12 FLAVORTM GUMMI BEARS FAT FREI

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Green - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo @Snacktator and @BiotechMongoose feel that the two cyan-ish bears are in fact different. I don't see color so you can judge for yourself e druwn in the bs whee be pertainly ar good as the fineted product found on page 7 ..........

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo They may have a point. But the proof is in the tasting. One is probably Scope- flavored and the other one Tide

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Several sharp-eyed viewers have checked the photo on the packet and pointed out that I have been ROBBED of a purple gummi bear. The good news is, I don't have to taste two different flavors of cyan. Now let's design the experiment

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo St. Haribo, forgive me

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Text - Scott Barolo @sbarolo Follow Okay now. The 12 flavors are listed on the packet: 12 FLAVOR™H GUMMI BEARS Cherry, Strawberry, Mango, Lemon, Pineapple, Orange, Green Apple, Watermelon, Pink Grapefruit, Lime, Blue Raspberry, Grape Albanese Yes, we know these gummies are beautiful, but before you base this new relationship purely on looks, know that it's what's on the inside that matters. Now that you've been introduced, go ahead, tear open the bag and find out why our fans call them the "Worl

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Let's form an initial hypothesis. Here are my guesses from visual cues alone:

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Gummy bear - be drawn in the box where Row A interset be-certainly as good as the finished product found on page 73. 4 ime Lemon watermelon. Margo Gireen Åpple ........ **.... ...

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Gummy bear - E Pineapple Blue Raz G Pink Cherry. Grype- fruit. Strae berry Oranje *.**.. ......................... ............ .... . ......

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Purple is obviously grape (data not shown)

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Now let's factor in SMELL

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Starting at the one o'clock posiition and moving clockwise. The bears I have marked "lemon" smell like... a freakin gummi bear

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Yeah, they all basically smell the same, except the ones I marked “Lime" may be Green Apple. And it's possible that "Lemon" is really Mango. On to the other senses

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo TOUCH: they are all gooey and gross. SOUND: they all make a sticky sound when I pull them off the paper. No help there

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo It's head chompin' time :D

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo l'll start with the ones I guessed are Blue Raspberry. I'm not so sure about Raspberry, butI am definitely getting strong notes of Blue. I'll stick with Blue Raz E

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Green - watermelon. Green Åpple Pin Blue Raz

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo "Cherry" is 100% cherry. “Cherry Ludens Cough Drop" would be more accurate but that wasn't one of the options

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Red - Blui Raz cherry...

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo "Strawberry" could be strawberry. Yes. Yes it's strawberry. No time for self- doubt now Scott, you only have one bear in that color. The margin for error is razor thin and the stakes have never been higher

28.

Red - Blue Raz Pin cherry...Gr frui Strae berry 0

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Food - Scott Barolo @sbarolo Follow And now we venture into the oranges and yellows. This is where all hell breaks loose Pink

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Gummy bear - Scott Barolo @sbarolo Follow "Orange" is orange!!! I'm gonna get an A I'm gonna get an A Pink 巷 Oranje

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Really I would call this "Clementine" but I'm at the mercy of the unimaginative flavor namers of the Albanese Confectionery Group, if that is indeed their real name. Bunch of hacks

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo "Pink Grapefruit" tastes like either pink grapefruit, or the inside of a mailbox. The winning streak continues

33.

Gummy bear - Pineappl Pink Gryper fruit .....

34.

Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Oh dear. Lemon-Mango-Pineapple, the Bermuda Triangle of ursine fruit flavors. Will I capsize on their rocky shoals? One thing is for sure: I would never ever EVER cheat 4 5 Lemon Marys ........

35.

Text - Scott Barolo @sbarolo Follow Oh no. I blew it. “Pineapple" is clearly lemon. No no no no no Pineapple

36.

Text - everest @everestpipkin i should have stopped there. i could have gotten out. but ... i had a bone to pick with my backstabbing second in command. and i had her login information

37.

Text - everest @everestpipkin i set up an AIM date. i had them set up the shop. i logged into her account. i made the deal. i left her with nothing

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Text - everest @everestpipkin and thats when she took 2 and half years of internal conversations, forum posts, text documents, and AIM chats to neopets support and got them to freeze every single account i had ever touched, including my paypal account which i never successfully recovered (being eleven)

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Text - everest @everestpipkin every account, that is, but one. it wasn't my main account, but i rather liked it. it had a good username. i played games on it! i had pets on it that were mine

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Text - everest @everestpipkin and its that account that i email neopets support about every couple of years, hoping maybe they've forgotten my crimes.

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Text - everest @everestpipkin and its that account that i found today in the 5 gb of neopets passwords. and, in some horrible, final twist of justice, that account which has had its password changed

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White - everest @everestpipkin the end

43.

Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo What the hell, these bears are rigged

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo I can still save it. I can still get a B. There's no way Mango would be the lightest-yellow one, that would make no sense. Right? RIGHT??

45.

Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo "Mango" is mango. That means "Lemon" must be pineapple. I advance to the next round, bruised but unbroken Maryo

46.

Gummy bear - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Pineapple has a certain summery, water- from-a-rubber-garden-hose quality that is not really doing it for me tbqh. Or maybe that's the umami of failure I detect 4 Lemon PINEAAPLE

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Gummy bear - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo l'll be honest, I was so distracted by my humiliation at the hands of the yellow bears that I forgot to pay attention to the taste of this one. I'm going back in for the bottom half. Why did I start this foolish quest 3 Lime

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo | *think* it's lime. I mean, it tastes like a Bounce dryer sheet. That's gotta be lime, right? Moving on

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Text - Scott Barolo @sbarolo Follow I mean, what is the point of so-called "gummi bears" anyway. What does that even MEAN. Stupid bears wapecmelor GREEN APPLE

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo I expected trouble from the yellow bears, but I never thought l'd get pantsed by the greenies. Final score: 7 correct out of 11 (64%). Barely passing. I won't be the valedictorian of Gummi High, but l'll get to go to prom

51.

Green - wage cmelon GREEN APPLE Was ATER- MELON ...

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Flavors ranked best to worst: Mango Watermelon (Jolly Rancheresque) Strawberry Blue Raspberry Pineapple (I forgive you) Green Apple Lemon Lime Cherry Punk Grapefruit (not a typo) Orange Grape (AWOL so l'm mad at you)

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Text - Scott Barolo Follow @sbarolo Gummiscopes V ARIES: strawberry O TAURUS: pineapple I GEMINI: green apple O CANCER: pink grapefruit 2 LEO: mango m VIRGO: cherry 2 LIBRA: watermelon m. SCORPIO: blue raz X SAGITTARIUS: lime n CAPRICORN: lemon AQUARIUS: grape PISCES: orange

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be-certainly as good as the finished pru 4 Lime Deimon PINEAPLE wapecmelon GREEN APPLE Marys MELON Blux Raz F .......…….S.…..... .. :..........

55.

Gummy bear - Pink Grope fruit. cherry. Strae berry Oranje 24 GAMES WORLD OF PUZZLES april 2019

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