Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Times People Realized They Married The Wrong Person


This feels trip of an AskReddit thread has people describing the emotionally painful times that they realized they'd actually married the wrong person. Sometimes you throw in with another person that you're convinced is your soulmate, and then go on to realize that there are insurmountable obstacles in the way of the two of you having a fruitful and loving relationship. After a realization like that the purest expression of love can really be to just let the person go. 

1.

Text - crassy • 3y I realised when I checked our bank accounts and noticed they were completely empty of the money my grandmother had given us to buy a house. Then I noticed that he was 'on call' more than usual and that those calls happened all night...then all weekend. Then I realised he was not the one when the chick he was fucking called our house looking for him and was surprised that his wife answered the phone. Turns out he emptied our accounts to pay for her. She was expensive. 2.5k •..

2.

Text - Faiths_got_fangs • 3y His girlfriend texted me and told me I needed to leave so they could be together. 2.2k ...

3.

Text - NICOSobatka • 3y He wanted kids as much as I did. So, we had kids. Then he just turned out to be a horrible Dad. Ignored them, belittled them, started drinking too much and lashing out. Refused couples therapy. Started to embarrass the kids with his actions. Divorce. 1.9k ...

4.

Text - dappled-and-drowsy • 3y I married him in a "shit or get off the pot" situation after 6 years of dating. I knew I shouldn't marry him, but I did it anyway. Just felt obligated I suppose. I was young and stupid. Needless to say, we are no longer married. | 590 ...

5.

Text - 1ronfastnative• 3y Other than when I was served with papers for a dissolution for marriage, I should have known she was going to walk when a month into the marriage she wanted to leave after a small argument. Then she called her mom and said maybe we should go to marriage counselling. The marriage lasted on paper for 23 months, but was already starting to disintegrate after a month. 384 ...

6.

Text - ZippyQueSera • 3y It didn't take long. I was so young and naive I basically married the person my controlling mother picked out for me. After six months, our sex life was almost non- existent. Seems he could manage a quick episode only after returning from Sunday Mass. I actually believed he was spending hours and hours nightly, jogging, with our fabulously gay neighbor. It was only when I found myself drinking copiously every night that I realized something wasn't right. So I left, still

7.

Text - GrandMoffDuce • 3y When she took her son to Disney world for a family vacation....and left me and my son at home to take care of the dog. I told her I was divorcing her the day she got back. 1.4k ...

8.

Text - fairiestoldmeto • 3y When i realised l'd rather die than continue. And that my son needed me alive more than I needed his daddy. And then when I had it pointed out to me that due to my being the sole earner in the house I could easily disentangle myself from him financially - something he'd made me believe I couldn't do. Pretty certain he has NPD. His truth is very flexible to his environment and audience. He had zero energy for engaging with me and his son and while I worked he farmed my

9.

Text - Tink_619 • 3y He told me he can't love me the way he thinks he can love a man... was honestly relieved as the couple years leading up to that moment had been hell for me. I had convinced myself something was wrong with me, etc. He told me his truth and I was free. Fast forward 5 years and he's still in the closet (he never fully came out) and living a miserable existence while hating me for knowing his truth. There's so much more I could add, but l'll just leave it at that. 1.4k ...

10.

Text - banaynaboat • 3y Saw the red flags even before marriage--threats of suicide if we break up, haven't graduated from college, terminated from the first job within 4 months, etc. I thought it would change. It didn't. Red flags will always be red. 272 ...

11.

Text - decorama • 3y After getting married, I began to see all the red flags I had been ignoring weren't going away. Too much unnecessary drama, financial irresponsibility and a cheating heart all hidden by a pretty face. Look for and always acknowledge the red flags. 1.3k ...

12.

Text - [deleted] • 3y I realised it over the summer as we were finalizing the wedding plans. He would constantly get caught hanging out with other girls behind my back as I was working hard to finalize the plans for our wedding that was weeks away. I figured that l'd just need to sucker up and deal with it the way I had in the past since everything was paid for and everyone had taken off work for the wedding (it was on a Friday). We married very young as well.

13.

Text - [deleted] • 3y My friend got divorced after a year of being married. The issue was her husband was the same person he was before they got married. This is super common, I think, but in her case it blew up much faster than it does in other cases (where people split up around the 5-7 year mark). A lot of people believe in some capacity that once they get married, some things will change. They'|l become more reliable, they'll take the relationship more seriously, they'll "grow up", they'll b

14.

Text - He never wanted to spend any time with me. He would get upset when I wanted to have dinner with my friends instead of watching him play video games all night (which he equated to "spending time together"). He dampened my love for music by telling me to stop singing all the time and discouraged me from being in a band, which is all I ever wanted to do. When we lost our jobs and had to move back in with my parents, he refused to apply for jobs, school, even unemployment because he was too l

15.

Text - We were married for a total of six months before we separated. It was so embarrassing knowing how many people bought us gifts and attended our wedding and having to tell all of them that we split up. Now Il'm afraid of having a wedding with my boyfriend because I feel like nobody will come. I know that the decision to marry this fuck was ultimately mine, but I wish someone would have had an honest to god conversation with me about it first. 221

16.

Text - pious_platypus • 3y When she told me that the day I got full custody of my daughter was the worse day of her life. It would've been nice to know that before we got married. 177 ...

17.

Text - PikaChillin • 3y When I had to start paying every single bill for it to be paid on time. He made in a week what I made in an entire month yet he was ALWAYS broke. I never did find out where all his money was going. When a month after our wedding he told me he didn't want me anymore. He never had a sense of responsibility about anything, even his two children from a previous relationship. I never once saw him play a game with them. He would only try to buy their love by taking them to Best

18.

Text - He took out his anger at his job on me and his kids constantly. There were holes in some of the walls from where he had punched them and even a hole in the kids' door from a day he had been mad at them. Teventually realized that I hated everything about my relationship and that I shouldn't be yelled at and made to feel worthless. Marriage lasted 5 years. Divorce was finalized this past January. He never even came back to get his stuff and he never responded, nor showed up to the divorce h

19.

Text - MaceEtiquette • 3y It started out small.. First couple months after marriage he became extremely controlling financially. There was a lot of belittling, calling me trash (ironically I come from a well off family), telling me I was nothing without him. Six months in, he put his hands on me for the first time. Pushing me into a wall. Before the year mark, the pushing turned into choke slamming me and slapping me. He told me if I told anyone (friends, family, etc.) he would kill me. He was i

20.

Text - PicklelnDaButt • 3y Well, a shit ton of things. Two of the worst. When I came back from my fourth deployment, she told me she wished I was still over there. That was like within three days. I told her I wanted to name my first born after my friend who died overseas. She told me it was a terrible name. 114 ...

21.

Text - KT_mama • 12h NTA Part of being inclusive is allowing people the space and time to celebrate their own beliefs. Your Christmas tree doesn't force anyone to celebrate your beliefs any more than someone wearing religious clothing. There's nothing inherently offensive about a tree. O Reply 1 vVote ...

22.

Text - АceTMK . Зу Ignored red flags.. She was selfish and rude immediately after we got married. She was rude to the help. To waiters. To anyone she saw as beneath her. Needless to say. Ended.

23.

Text - nonsufficient • 3y When we discussed what our lives would be like if we divorced and how they'd be fine. Six months in. Married at 20. Separated at 20. After we had that talk I just started seeing all the reasons we wouldn't work. Plus he wouldn't fight with me. Just refused. He's happily married with two kids now. And l'm in the best long term relationship of my life, with a man that made me want to try marriage again. Don't be afraid to admit you made a mistake. I'm glad I did.

24.

Text - neemeenone • 3y I kinda slowly figured it out over the course of the 3 years we were married, but I shit you not, the exact moment I realized I married the wrong man happened in the grocery store. We were buying toilet paper and ended up having a serious fight over what type to get - he wanted to get single-ply because it was cheaper, I wanted to get Charmin because it doesn't hurt when I wipe (he didn't wipe unless it was a #2 so I guess the stakes were higher for me). I had this moment

25.

Text - Chckyrsix • 3y I was in the military, her father didn't like me because I didn't make a lot of money (he was a small business owner), and some of her family weren't exactly pro- military. Whatever, some people can't change it, you just live with that fact. Cut to her living with me off base, she didn't have any friends and was bored. So I helped her get a job on base. We played WoW together for raiding (WotLk baby!). But we fought most of the time about trivial things of course. But what

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