Monday, June 22, 2020

Wholesome and Chaotic "Don't Tell Your Mother" Moments


Whether it's getting to see a movie with swears, doing some super risky crap and almost getting hurt, or general moments of sworn secrecy, there are moments when a father is inclined to say " don't tell your mother." Almost everyone has a moment they can remember their dad letting them do something their mom wouldn't approve of and being like "alright be cool." To keep it going with the dad theme, here are some tweets and memes to keep dads going.

1.

Text - b778av 20.9k points · 18 hours ago Not a father but a son: We forgot my passport during vacation and were already at the border station when we noticed. My dad then said that we won't turn back but that he will "figure something out". Turns out he smuggled me successfully across 3 Border crossings without my passport. Before we arrived at home, he told me not to tell my mom about this.

2.

Text - MastadonBob 44.9k points · 16 hours ago @ 2 & 20 More Female coworker of mine was miserable at work one day. I asked her what was wrong...she told me it was her anniversary, and she knew her husband had forgotten. She had pre-teen girls at home during summer vacation..I knew her home phone number (pre-cell phone era). I called her home phone and one kid picked up. Explained to the kid who I was and that she needed to call Dad at work and remind him it was Mom and Dad's anniversary..and do

3.

Text - optimaloutcome 43.8k points · 19 hours ago O 2 One night I was enjoying a small bit of ice cream after my four year old daughter went to bed. She came downstairs and 'caught' me. So I offered her a small bite, but since she was supposed to be in bed, I said "don't tell mom." She assured me she wouldn't. My wife wouldn't have cared anyway but it was a fun little game to play. After she went up to bed and I was down on the couch, she snuck in to the master bedroom where mom was resting. She

4.

Text - Strongdar 24.4k points · 16 hours ago · edited 3 hours ago * O & 7 More One night when I was about 8, after I had gone to bed, my Dad was playing a Nintendo game, Legend of Zelda I think. We had both been playing it but we were stuck. He finally found a secret passage, paused the game, and came upstairs to wake me up. He told me he figured out where we were stuck, "snuck" me downstairs in a blanket (I'm sure my mom knew), and I got to stay up after midnight on a school night, hiding under

5.

Text - checkoutmyaasb 19.9k points 17 hours ago Dad and I used to rent a movie each week for when mum had dinner with friends. Usually things like star trek or action films. One day (I was about 11) he came home with Blade. We got about 10 minutes in and he turns to me and said "don't tell your mother about this, let's just say I forgot to get it this week". Of course I agree. Fast forward 7ish years, dad blithely drops at the dinner table the fact that we watched blade when I was about 11. Sill

6.

Text - theNameless97 16.8k points · 16 hours ago -· O 2 2 3 I was in middle school, my father gradually edited 12 hours ago bought computers and monitors for us 4 kids and himself and the 5 of us would play World of Warcraft together for many days and always log off one hour before mom got home. We'd rush all the chores in that one hour. That's when we had teamwork at its finest. She never knew we all played cause she thought it was the devil

7.

Text - Astrochef12 16.2k points · 17 hours ago I have always worked in restaurants and get home late nights. On Fridays I treat myself to takeout. Not just any takeout, the bad stuff.. Cheese fries topped with Gyro meat, steak nachos with guac. Always a large, always with a big bottle of beer they sell singly. When my girls were little they would sneak down late at night and we would munch bad food and watch really bad funny movies with all the swear words in.

8.

Text - polarbearsaregay 13.0k points · 15 hours ago 3 E When my son was 6 I was playing Grand theft Auto late at night. He wakes up and comes to the living room, tells me he can't sleep, and asks can he watch me play. I say he can but not to tell his mom he agrees with a big smile. Maybe after about an hour he is playing and I'm watching and helping him. He can't stop laughing driving into people and running from the cops. I was telling him to watch out for the 5-0 and he asks me what that means

9.

Text - Cadence_828 509 points · 15 hours ago I'm a mother, but sometimes when I come home, my kids smell suspiciously like grape soda. Neither the kids, nor my husband ever have any idea why that is.

10.

Text - GucciDuc 11.2k points · 18 hours ago · edited 12 hours ago In the winter, he would put the toboggan behind the four wheeler and take us out into the fields and ride around. My mom found out after it tipped and my face got beat up and was bleeding everywhere. Fun.

11.

Text - LordWisePhoenix 9.6k points · 18 hours ago · edited 18 hours ago Dad was putting new roof shingles on. I was probably 3 maybe 4. I asked if I could help. He said if I could climb the ladder sure. I was always climbing so that was no issue. Climbed right on up and started handing him shingles. It would have been a "don't tell your mother" moment had she not come home from grocery shopping. After several back and forth of "Where are you" and "Up here mom" she figured it out and flipped out.

12.

Text - who_is_this- 9.3k points · 16 hours ago G Not a father but I was with my dad and we thought it was a good idea to start a small fire, on the porch, the wooden porch. It was made of mostly paper and we made sure to scatter the embers and everything but after we went inside and to bed, the wind must've kicked up because we came outside the next day and there was a giant hole burned into the porch. My dad just told me,"hey don't tell your mom, I'll get it fixed", he the proceeded to cover it

13.

Text - Treeflower77 8.7k points · 18 hours ago Daughter speaking for her father. In high school, everybody was always busy at work or clubs, so I was the first one in my household to get home nearly every single day. Dad was having money troubles that he didn't want to disclose to anyone, so he paid me $5 a month to take the bank statement letter from the mailbox and hide it from my stepmom until he got home. It was the closest thing I got to an allowance. P.S. I had no idea what the "money trou

14.

Text - bluej1375 7.1k points · 17 hours ago Not a father but a story about mine.one day I decided to pull a sick day at school and came down stairs and saw that my dad was making a coffee, I asked him what he was doing and why he wasn't at work and he said I could ask you the same question. We stood in silence for a moment and he said I won't tell your mum if you won't. We had a good laugh about it and he let me have the day off

15.

Text - dbuck79 6.1k points · 17 hours ago When I was younger my dad and I would always go to the movies together, it was our thing. I always looked forward to it. Also, when I was about 11, we would often watch family guy or South Park together; certainly not age appropriate, but nothing to terrible I don't think. However one day he took me to see Team America: World Police when it came out (made by the guys who did South Park). I think he realized his mistake during the puppet sex scene, and im

16.

Text - closethedoor21 2.3k points · 18 hours ago My dad used to hoist my siblings and I to the ceiling in a garbage can with a come along and swing us back and fourth. Fun as hell, but "don't tell your mother"

17.

Text - AV8ORboi 1.1k points · 17 hours ago · edited 15 hours ago my mom: "i have never been with any man other than your father, nor has he been with any woman other than me" my dad: "oh yeah when i was first seeing your mom i had like 4 other girls i was talking to on the side, don't tell her tho"

18.

Text - Maxtubular 610 points · 15 hours ago While building the outdoor play set for my five year old, I drilled a screw completely through a board and into my shoe, barely stopping just as the screw broke skin. I swore right in front of him, something along the lines of "Mother-fucking fuck mother fucker." We are sworn to secrecy to this day.

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Tagged: wholesome , chaos , moments , lol , dad , family , stories , mom , funny

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