Sunday, April 3, 2022

Student Gets Confused For Another Person By VP, Almost Gets Suspended


A student was called into the principal's office this week after being mistaken for another student who is, apparently, their evil twin. Once the mistake was revealed, the vice principal was embarrassed and backed down. As commenters have pointed out, this is a better end than we usually see, where people are determined to double down on their stupid mistakes. 

The thread was posted to the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit this week by the student, Redditor u/Super_Relationship22. They tell the story of their experience 15 years ago when they were still in school and were young and "naive."

Commenters were taken in by the story and loved their sign-off of "Toodleloo." They applauded the vice principal's ability to have humility at their own mistake and not refuse to acknowledge that they were in the wrong, as most unreasonable people tend to do. Redditor TFlarz commented that "He seemed contrite so that's better than most instigators in these stories."
 

Read on for the full story below.

Business Student Saddled With Doing Group's Entire Project, Decides to Let the Ship Sink and Go Down With It


Group projects are the absolute worst. They are nothing but an excuse for a teacher to suspend learning for an extended period while students keep themselves occupied with the internal social dynamics resembling gladiatorial combat that group projects bring about. Weeks upon weeks are wasted while the teacher gets to browse Facebook, and that's before the disaster that is "Presentation Week." The entire week of presentations is a sadistic purgatory. You hope that you don't have to present first but simultaneously would like to pass through the fire and get it over with. Plus, if you're like me, you took a gamble that you wouldn't have to present the first day and left the polishing touches until the last minute, hoping to refine the final draft over the course of the week. If you're also like me, this has bit you in the bum more times than you can count. 

Pilot Puts Inexplicable Plane Karen in Her Place


A Karen and a plane, name a more iconic duo. 

The frequency that the two can often be found together is regrettable. Having some entitled and insane individual with you when you're locked in a pressurized cylinder hurtling through the sky at nearly 600mph (for several uncomfortable hours) is not an ideal situation to be in. But it must be something about that uncomfortable situation of flying that causes these emotionally infantile people to lose their slightest semblance of sanity. You know Samuel L. Jackson is out there somewhere muttering to himself… "I am tired of these mutha fudgin' Karens on this mutha fudgin' plane."

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/pettyrevenge subreddit in honor of the pilot's laughably petty (but righteous) actions. It was posted by Redditor u/No-Cell9903, a passenger on the plane. 

They tell the tale of this entitled Karen, who thought that she was better and more clever than everyone else when she cut straight to the front of the plane before people were supposed to stand up. 

It sounds like all is well that ends well here. Karen was owned, the pilot was praised, and everyone clapped.

"Roadside Assistance" Changes Guy's Tire, Turns Out It's Just Some Guy


It's pretty remarkable how easy it is to completely save somebody's skin. Simply lending someone a hand when they're in a jam doesn't even take that much time out of your day. Heck, it might even be on your way to something you were doing anyway.

Getting a flat tire on the freeway is no fun, but it's typically not a huge deal. That's if you have the proper tools to actually do the job. This guy found out that his lug wrench was too small at the the worst possible time, and ended up having to call roadside assistance. And right on time, roadside assistance arrived. Or, well, they were technically a kind of roadside assistance, but OP just assumed the regular looking guy in an unmarked van was the person he called.

As it turns out, things went slightly more wholesomely than anyone had planned that day. Here are some wholesome things people did for the love of the game.

Humorous and Heinous Food Memes To Pack That Gullet


The culinary world is so varied and exciting. It's a beautiful thing. But as diverse as food can be, it's startlingly easy to find yourself disgusted but food-adjacent things. Even the wrong foods together can have a nauseating effect that, while abhorrent, is undeniably powerful. It's sort of amazing that you can show someone something like "Birthday cake mayonnaise" and have them display the kind of visceral reaction you might get looking at a bad car wreck. One thought of what a "Snickle" might actually taste like and we slide into a depression that takes the rest of the day to recover.

So beware this terrifying mix of food memes and jokes. Some are fine and dandy like these food memes that satiate our hunger for laughter. Others are crimes against cuisine like these unfortunate cursed food abominations.

Whichever direction it goes, it's a whole lot, man. So put on that lobster bib and take your place at the trough.

Saturday, April 2, 2022

'Fallout' Memes to Leave Your Sides Bursting at the Seams (March 30th, 2022)


Feast your eyes on this treasured collection of marvelous Fallout memes. Each one should take you right back to your days trudging through the wastelands of post-apocalyptic wonder with your trusted companion, Dogmeat, at your side. They might even help you brush off the disappointment of Fallout 76. 

The only thing to ensure is that you end up in the correct Vault. Hopefully, one that's sole purpose wasn't the conduction of some cruel experiment on its unwitting subjects. Was there ever a meme vault? That would be the place to be, but Vault-Tec would probably find a way to screw that up. It would likely be some setup like 'A Clockwork Orange' where your eyes are peeled open, and you're forced to watch memes endlessly, receiving electroshock therapy every time you fail to laugh at a meme you should have laughed at. 

Vault or not, we may quickly find ourselves in that reality anyway. 

 

Internet Roasts Husband Who Demanded His Wife Pack Lunches For His Coworkers


The internet is astounded that this husband could be so immature as to ask his wife to pack lunches for his coworkers. Even though his wife loves cooking and packing her husband's lunches, her affection does not extend to these complete strangers.

The wife, Reddit user u/ThrowAITApackedlunch, posted the topic to Reddit's r/AmIthea**hole subreddit this week following the confrontation with her husband. She has appealed to commenters to see whether or not she is in the wrong for refusing to pack lunches for the husband's coworkers. 

The thing is, she even did it once, just to try it out. She had to get up incredibly early to prepare everything for the lunches and found the entire experience too exhausting to repeat. The problem was that the meal was such a smashing success that her husband wanted to make it a weekly thing, with little regard or thanks for how much effort that one time had taken her. 

You can sort of see what the husband must be thinking here. In his tiny brain, all that is going on is "Wife cook gooood. Coworker like? Raise, get." It's a little sweet in a way… if he wasn't being so childish and demanding about the whole thing. 

 

Stalker Ex-Girlfriend Determined to Be the Mother of Ex-Boyfriend's Son, Shows Up to Birthday Uninvited, Gets Kicked Out


A couple experienced a tragic end to their relationship over ongoing fertility issues that appeared to be originating from the boyfriend. When the couple went their separate ways he had a one-night stand with another woman and accidentally got her pregnant. This "miracle" pregnancy gave him his son, but now the ex-girlfriend is determined to be a part of their lives, in a twisted sort of way.

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AmItheA**hole subreddit by the boyfriend, Reddit user u/r_marksss728, this week. 

He shared the story following an extremely awkward affair that occurred during his son's birthday party. Unannounced and uninvited, his Ex decided that it would be a good idea for her to show up. She is determined to be a part of their lives, especially since the son's mother has tragically passed away.

In terms of the topic at hand, it is easy to see that the boyfriend is in no way in the wrong here. He has made his stance clear with his Ex that he has no desire to have her involved in his life in any way. 

That being said, I can also see where it would be hard for the ex-girlfriend to go through all of these unreconcilable issues with fertility, only for the man you had loved to go off and immediately start a family with someone else (albeit accidentally.) She definitely isn't dealing with things the right way but the entire story is an utter tragedy.

 


 

Sweet 90s Nostalgia To Make Things Right Again


We don't have time machines. And it doesn't seem like we'll have time machines in this lifetime, since we already did that thing where you say to yourself "alright if I have a time machine in the future, I will travel back in time to right NOW!" and all we got was stares from the other funeral guests.

But honestly, the greatest time machine is the mind. Whenever we so choose, we can use the magical power of imagination to think back to when times when things were simpler, more beautiful, and littered with Blockbusters. And the uranium that powers our mind time machines is images of all the TV shows, snacks and doodads from that most wonderous time of our lives.

The overwhelming nostalgia is enough to make one want to hop on a bike, make a ramp out of dirt, and head straight for that bad boy with minimal concern for your own well being.

Warning, this is recreational nostalgia. Don't get hooked on this powerful stuff. Don't become us.

But for another hit of the good stuff, here's some sweet seductive nostalgia to help run away from the present.

Friday, April 1, 2022

Karen Regularly Harasses Dog Groomers at Salon, One Employee Finally has Enough and Triumphantly Bans Her


"You can't demand free services from people you constantly disrespect, that's not how life works."

April Fools Pranks That Didn't Go Over So Well


What makes a good prank? One step is to know that the value of the joke itself outweighs the cruelty. It also helps when the intended target is the kind of person who can take a joke. Or if that person can't take the joke, it helps if they're universally hated. But if you've got that , you're most of the way there for a quality pranking. Basically what you're not looking for is to just make someone cry nonstop. It's a bit of a buzzkill.

So here are some pranks that, for whatever reason, didn't exactly go as planned. Or they worked too well, and that was the problem. It's all fun and games submitting your friend's obituary to the local newspaper until you have to explain to his parents that no, he was not in fact killed in a "terrifying butt exploding accident."

For a delectable tale of prankery, here's the woman who escalated her annual holiday prank war.

Idiot Orders 2000 Gallons of Water and Refuses to Answer Door, Gets Served Biblical Levels of Justice


Something about someone receiving penance for their misdeeds through a torrential flood just strikes a biblical chord. They definitely should have prepared their Ark. However, if there was a "survival of the fittest" scenario, I don't like this person's chances. 

This tale was posted to the r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit this week by user u/Controlled01, where it earned a very respectable 12k upvotes.

u/Controlled01 tells the story of the time that they were asked to deliver water to a clueless new customer. See, u/Controlled01 worked for a water delivery company that provided water to people who didn't have a connection to city water or a private well. When one of their clients moved out, and a new one moved in, the new client refused to acknowledge any best practices or install sensors that would allow them to know when their tanks were empty or full.

This complete lack of willingness to acknowledge rhyme or reason would lead to the incident. 

Comments were surprising on this one. I can not believe the number of stories people had about bungled tanker deliveries. There are so many drivers connecting into incorrect tanks and dumping gasoline into aquifers or water into gas tanks. It's insane. Surely, some bare-minimum qualifications must be required to service something that could have disastrous consequences. 

 

Moments That Show Kids Are The Weirdest And Stupidest People Of All


What would you do if your coworker got their head stuck in a storm drain? Or if your boss didn't show up to work because he glued his hand to the toilet? Or if the CEO took everyone's lunch out of the fridge and started feeding it all to seagulls. Or if the best man at your wedding started crying because he swallowed the rings, and he needed juice to wash them down with. You'd probably think "what is this, Florida?" And you might be right. While that kind of behavior would be unthinkable for any reasonable adult of sound mind, it happens all day, every day to kids. 

Table corners get softened. Bleach gets placed on high shelves. All of this happens because, man, we don't know what they're gonna do. And neither do they.

Can we blame kids for their weirdness? To be fair, they have underdeveloped brains and zero social skills. But also, yeah we can still blame them. Here's some more proof that kids are almost a different species.

Brother Stands Up For Cheated On Ex, Demolishes Brother In Wedding Speech


Some of us are perfectly content keeping our mouths shut for fear of making a scene, even when we know that something deeply wrong is afoot. Not so with this guy, who was privy to the fallout of his brother's previous relationship, and the continued garbage behavior of the new woman going out of her way to mock the mother of her new husband's kids. Maybe these miserable people deserve each other.

OP, who was slated to speak at the wedding, decided to forego convention and let people know a little bit of what was on his mind in the form of an absolutely terrific slam. If only we could all be so bold as to risk burning family bridges for the sake of an incredible burn.

The internet was almost unanimous in the observation that, while he was being an asshole, this level of assery was nothing compared to the crap the groom was up to, and that there should be a new classification for justified outbursts such as this.

For some spicy stories of infidelity, here are people sharing how they figured out their ex was cheating.

Cursed And Stupid Junk People Tried Selling On Facebook Marketplace


So, you've finally created your masterpiece: a dead tree covered in doll heads with glowing eyes. It's your creation and you're proud of it. It took countless hours to wire it correctly, as well as apply lipstick to all the doll heads. And you think to yourself: "If only the world could see this beautiful work of art! I know, I'll put it up for sale on the internet. What does a doll-head-tree go for these days, a thousand bucks? Better make it two."

A lot of things end up for sale, and for many different reasons. Sometimes people just wanna see if they can make a buck off some junk they were gonna throw away anyway. Sometimes delusional artists need a place to hock their wares. And sometimes people put things up for sale out of nothing but pure spite. Those are the spiciest ones.

For some more questionable wares, here are more dumb and weird things people tried selling online.

Societal Double Standards That Boil People's Blood


There's no question that life is unfair. But maybe the question we should be asking is "why does life have to be so unfair in such ridiculously specific ways?" If people used a little critical thinking on a daily basis, we wouldn't be in this situation, but obviously that's too much for us. So instead, we all float through life, aware of, and constantly dealing with infuriating double standards across all level of society.

But since it's virtually impossible to make every instance of "being a double-standard-having jerk" illegal, we are left with the personal responsibility of having to be more sympathetic to others on a one-to-one basis. Seeing someone be praised or punished for your exact behavior is absolutely infuriating, and the amount of mental hoops one has to jump through to land on "well it's different for them because they're not you" is annoying as hell. Maybe the one constant is that double standards are something that affects every single one of us. Maybe.

Internet Applauds Woman When She Gives Birth to Child Without Telling Husband


A woman gave birth to her third child without even notifying her husband that she was going into labor. This puzzling situation arose after the couple had a falling out over the Mother-in-Law's insistence that the couple name the child "Francine" after her grandmother.

This thread was posted by the wife, Redditor u/Significant_Tip_59 (OP), to the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit following the conflict, birth of her child, and subsequent disputes. Her husband was determined to take his mother's side and refused to listen to OP's wishes regarding the naming of her child. She wanted to name the child Valerie after a sentimental memory her family shared over the Amy Winehouse song of the same name.

I'm sorry, but if we're talking songs named Valerie here, we need to bring this classic into the conversation. 

"So wild, standing there
With her hands in her hair
I can't help remember
Just where she touched me

There's still no face
Here in her place
So cool, she was like
Jazz on a Summer's day
Music, high and sweet
Then she just blew away

Now she can't be that warm
With the wind in her arms

Valerie, call on me
Call on me, Valerie
Come and see me
I'm the same boy I used to be."

                              Valerie by Steve Winwood

 

Read on for the full story below. 

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Terrible Boss Tells Woman to "Get Over" Her Miscarriage and Stop Slacking Off, Hero Supervisor Intervenes and Gets Boss Canned


When this boss was entirely unsympathetic towards her team member who had lost a late-term pregnancy, she really showed her true colors. When the miscarriage occurred her supervisor immediately approved her leave and told her to turn off her phone and take some time off. When the boss found out she was less than sympathetic, telling the supervisor that he was enabling the team member to "slack off."

This thread was posted to the r/antiwork subreddit by the supervisor, Reddit user u/FancyBasil3810 (OP), following their confrontation with the boss. The posted thread was titled "Boomer Co-Supervisor wants team member to "get over" a pregnancy loss, finally got hers" and has earned ten-thousand upvotes so far.

"Not really expecting anything" the supervisor took their concerns to HR, in order to protect the team member. 

Commenters have been more than supportive and are largely calling out all types of managers who are cold and unfeeling towards their staff's human needs. 

"Never understood why treating ppl like humans isn't how everyone conducts business." commented one user, Whythestevenot.

"No kidding," replied FancyBasil3810, the OP. "For full-time, you spend 40 hours a week with your coworkers, why would you not want to be nice to people, and expect the same back?"

The world would be so much better if we just approached the people we dealt with daily with a little more understanding and compassion. 

Thumbnail Image: Fa Barboza

50 Terrible Cooking Fails From People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed in the Kitchen


Cooking is a completely underrated skill and a skill that a surprising amount of people know very little about. More surprising still is that an even greater amount of people know less about their way around the kitchen than they think they do. 

But, that's what happens when you grow up in the rural continental United States, where every meal consists of some combination of processed food, cheese, wheat, sugar, and corn starch. Few of us learn advanced skills or techniques that are required for serious baking and cooking outside of grating cheese and boiling pasta. 

In no way am I claiming to be the next Gordon Ramsay; I probably fall into the category of overestimating my knowledge. But I can say this: I have enjoyed expanding my knowledge of cuisine and culinary delights over the last few years. It's been one thing that has kept me sane through the lockdown extravaganza, and I look forward to pursuing this further. 

Making mistakes is a part of life. You will never, and should never, get something right the first time. It's all part of the learning process. However, there are those of us who should never be allowed to step foot near a kitchen. There are just too many sharp things, burny things, and other hazards where the chronically uncoordinated among us could find trouble. 

These are some of those people.

Americans Share Culture Shocks They Experienced When Visiting Europe


It's easy to forget that a "standard way of living" is completely up for debate, and that it's at least a little different everywhere you go. Especially since American tourists are notorious for doing obnoxious things, it can be easy for us to get caught up in our own little worlds and have a hard time accepting the great big one that we're actually a part of.

Being in a different place is a terrific reminder that, not only is the world a big place, but it's also an old place. It's wacky to consider that you could find yourself walking on a road that was paved by Romans, or that you might end up eating at a restaurant that's been open for 600 years. And then there are the small things, like how nobody drinks root beer over there. Now what's this we're hearing about all this vacation the get?

But if you're an American who wants to feel some national pride, here are some particular things America has that Europe doesn't.

Various Things That Didn't Age So Well


We shudder every time we hear one of those stories about someone buying a taco with "worthless bitcoin" in 2011, but at the same time, there's nothing we can really do about moments like those. None of us has a crystal ball, and we shouldn't kick ourselves for making a reasonable prediction that simply doesn't turn out to be true. But when someone else does, and it's in writing? Sweet lord, that's fair game.

Again, no one knows the future, except for everyone who engages in insider trading. But if you're not doing that, then you're just as dumb and blind as the rest of, telling all of your friends that Segway travel is going to be the next big thing. Or that you should totally buy those fat free chips that gave everyone diarrhea. Or your car is covered in Nader bumper stickers.

Time is hard on all of us.

New Mom Expects Daughter, Delusional In-Laws Want Boy To Name After Grandpa, Throw Grandpa-Themed Baby Shower


Everyone grieves differently. But when you find yourself forcing your wife (who is expecting a girl) to attend a boy-themed baby shower to honor the name of grandpa, maybe it's time to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you've made the right choices. Because this whole situation looks a lot like this family is desperately and ineffectually trying to reincarnate their grandpa.

It would be one messed-up thing if the family was upset that the baby is expected to be a girl. That on its own would be enough to have some hard feelings. But they went to extra step to ignore reality and "hold onto hope" that this kid is gonna be Grandpa Part II. The internet saw this and astutely pointed out that maybe there is still time to not have to be part of this family dynamic.

For some wild parenting, here's the entitled parent who won't change her own kid's diaper and demanded a daycare worker do it off the clock, and for some absolutely bananas family drama here's the mom who stole her kids' birthdays for years.

Guy Freaks Out at Disabled Person After He Mistakes Their Disability Lanyard For a Work Uniform, Refuses to Apologize


A disabled person found themselves targeted by an angry customer after the customer thought that their "disability lanyard" was a part of their work uniform. When confronted with the fact that he was wrong, he doubled down on the error and became increasingly agitated and angry at them and everyone else who tried to tell him otherwise.

This bizarre display of behavior was displayed in a story that was posted to r/IDontWorkHereLady. A subreddit where people share stories such as this where they have been mistaken for a worker of an establishment. The victims of these incidents are often targeted by Karens or their male counterparts (Kens? Kevins?) 

Some say that this guy is still asking random people for his ticket to this very day.

For more stories like this, check out this story that ran recently where a customer demanded to talk to a retail worker's manager. Except they weren't a retail worker and didn't even work there at all.

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Captain and Owner of Fishing Vessel Posts TikToks of Crazy Monster Tunas She and Her All-Female Crew Catches


Sometimes it's a solo trip with only the captain catching a 600+ pound tuna… 

Cheating Ex-Wife Gets Sued Silly When She Forges HOA Application in Husband's Name


This vengeful ex-husband had had enough of his spurned ex-wife when she reared her head one last time in a final act of retribution.

The story was initially posted by u/SpurredOneLastTime (OP) to the r/entitledpeople subreddit and then crossposted by a fascinated reader to r/f***HOA. The OP tells the tale of his ex-wife's final act of retribution that saw him embroiled in legal troubles and tangled with a Home Owner's Association. 

His wife had been cheating on him for some time, all revealed through "trickle truths" and led to a highly messy divorce with complicated legal proceedings and lawsuits. The final straw came when his ex signed him up to a Home Owner's Association that he had no interest in being a part of. 

Of all the things you could possibly do, this has got to be the most sinister. Being grandfathered into an HOA exemption is a beautiful thing indeed. Taking that away from someone is worse than taking the dog or custody of the children. 

Former Escort Humiliates Father-In-Law When He Makes Inappropriate Joke About Her Past


Commenters have vigorously defended a woman who humiliated her father-in-law at a family engagement. The incident occurred after the woman found out she was pregnant, her brother-in-law had revealed her history as an escort to his family, and her father-in-law took the chance to lash out at the woman with cruel humor.

The thread was posted to r/AmItheA**hole by the woman in question, who goes by the Reddit username u/Exciting_Stick_2674 (OP). She posted the topic titled 'AITA for embarrassing my FIL after I repeatedly asked him to explain his joke to me?' following the incident occurred.

OP has been engaged to her fiancé for over a year and has known she was pregnant for five months. She notes that her brother-in-law exposed her past to the family two years ago, which caused the couple and family troubles for some time. She notes that the couple "thought it was behind us." before her father-in-law's remark.

What's your take? Was she in the wrong here?

 

Thumbnail Image: Ivan Dodig 

NFT Memes And Jokes To Send To That Friend Who Bought Into It


The hype train of crypto is a seductive and dangerous concept. The promise of easy lucrative investments and "free money" have been a thing since forever, but instead of being called "blockchain-protected revenue streams" or "Non-fungible Tokens" they were often referred to as scams. Would you like to see my certificate of sale for the Brooklyn Bridge?

It's true, we don't fully understand the underlying technology that gives NFTs their "value" but neither do 99% of the people trying to make money off of them. Most of us have simply been fooled before and it's going to take a lot more than a few tweets about dubious investment opportunities to get people to lay down their hard-earned cash on an image that can literally be copy/pasted in a matter of seconds.

For a more in-depth analysis on the off-the-rails-with-multiple-casualties hype train that is NFTs, check out this article Why NFTs Are the Next Big Thing (If You're A Complete Moron). Anyway, here are some bits and bobs to help mock those who drank the NFT kool-aid.

Woman Milks Boyfriend For Tuition, Dumps Him After Graduation, Gets Called Out During Speech


It's lookin' like someone got tricked.

Be proud of your own accomplishments. But if you fooled someone into funding those accomplishments, and tolerated them for just long enough to take what you needed from them, which is what this sorta looks like, then maybe you don't get to be perfectly proud of yourself for your wonderful achievements.

And yeah, relationships are an at-will environment. It's impossible to know exactly what someone is thinking, and it's well within your rights to break up with someone whenever you so please. But when it looks this damning, it's pretty easy to draw conclusions about your qualities as a person.

The immediate family wasn't so pleased that OP stated the obvious, and honestly OP may very well be on thin ice. If he's hanging around the type of people who don't like having their less-than-spectacular behaviors pointed out, it might be better to think about parting ways a group who will encourage this sort of thing. If he is on the way out, at least he didn't foot the bill for someone's education.

People Share How They Found Out Their Ex Was Cheating


It's important to believe your significant other, but it's also important to not be stupid. If your girlfriend keeps getting "you up" texts from a phone number called "McDonald's," it's pretty safe to assume that she's having midnight liaisons with a different kind of clown, and it's in your best interest to confront her about it. Don't be a mark. Stand up for yourself.

Remember that people will show you exactly what they are like. If someone goes out of their way to lie about seeing a person on the side, they've done an excellent job of eliminating any amount of trust you should have in them if they plan on "apologizing," whatever that means to them.

Here are some ways that people found out their partner was knocking boots with someone else. At times it took some real detective work, and other times it just took having open eyes. Relationships can be weird, so keep that head on a swivel, but also keep it screwed on.

For some more tales from relationships, here are people sharing the things they hate the most about their significant other.

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

The Most Wildly Insane and Entitled Parents of the Week (March 29, 2022)


Presenting: This week's list of the week's most insane and most entitled parents. Freshly curated from the bowels of the internet.

Remember that kid who bullied you in middle school on the bus? Remember the kid who thought it was funny to give his teammates concussions during practice on your High School football team? Remember that kid who sat in the back of the class and made masturbation jokes in the 5th grade?

I've got some terrible news for you… They're all parents now. And they're well on their way to introducing another generation of little hell-spawn terrors into the world. 

Someone, somewhere, who grew up with Will Smith or Jada Pinkett Smith is reminded of this horrible reality every time they see the couple and their insane children making headlines. This is also probably the reality for anyone who knew someone who was terrible before they were famous.