Bears are pretty cool, there's really just no denying that. What's not to love about a family of mammals that can manage to be simultaneously cuddly, adorable, and also apex predators that would kill you without remorse? True, there is a bit of a variation on the bear spectrum ranging from more cuddly/dopey to more sharp/murdery but the point still stands.
The first end of this spectrum is undoubtedly claimed on one end by the Panda Bear whose famously incompetent disposition almost led to its extinction. Pretty cut and dry there, the stupid plonkers can't even breed right in captivity because they just can't wrap their heads around it and are otherwise just too darn lazy to get the deed done.
The other end is a little less decisive and is up for debate between the Grizzly and Polar bears, who are both very much remorseless killing machines that can tank bullets and kill you effortlessly with their massive jaws and sharp claws. They might appear cuddly and have the same cute little ears as the other bears, but they're a type of cuddly that is best admired from a distance. Just ask any one of the various lunatics who has decided to pack up everything and go live amongst them. Oh, wait, you can't they're all too busy being digested or already fertilizing a forest somewhere. There's a reason why these killing machines are so revered and feared in ancient culture.
Still, I'm occasionally one meme list and a half strand of sanity away from packing up to go live with the bears myself. They just get me, ya know?
An honorable mention has to go here to the esteemed Black Bear. These dudes are so skittish and afraid of their own shadow. All they want to do is just want to relax in the sun, eat food, drink beer, and generally be left alone outside of these activities... Definitely some seriously relatable spirit-animal type vibes going on there. What cool dudes those bears are.
My absolute favorite news headlines are the ones where some massively obese black bear is terrorizing some resort community somewhere by breaking into their houses and eating to their heart's content. Shout out to 'Frank the Tank' from South Lake Tahoe.
Anyways. Yeah. Bears ARE pretty cool. I could keep going with bear lore, but I'll leave it here for now. Enjoy this list of bear-related content.
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