Nature has a thing for crabs. It just can't get rid of them. Fossil records have shown us that stuff just won't stop evolving into the shelled, clawed bastards. Is it because the design itself is effective, or just because nature has decided that something should always be a crab? Whatever the reason, they look really weird, and taste pretty good. Especially for being a big wet sea bug.
What we wouldn't give to one day have a large, powerful claw to attract mates. It's dumb that we have to rely on having decent jobs and practice hygiene when we could be out here pinching stuff and taking names. Those names? Crab.
So hopefully one day we will all get to return to the sea by walking sideways. No thanks to you, fish who walked up on land in the first place. We're gonna have a good time being crabs.
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