It's always interesting to slowly realize that you're talking to a pathological liar. Usually it starts with an intriguing hook. "Oh man, I can't eat Oreos," says a strange gentleman at the Jimmy Buffet themed bar you always seem to find yourself in on Thursdays.
"Really man? It is because of the sugar? Sometimes too much sugar gives me a stomach ache" you say, trying to make friendly conversation.
"Yeah, it could be that," he says, being reasonable enough to keep you involved. "But they have a chemical in there that stains your teeth."
"Oh really? I guess the chocolate parts of it do kind of get stuck in my teeth a lot. It's like spinach, haha" you say, because you are very good at conversation. You're terrific.
"No," he continues. "It's a tracking device. See I used to work for the CIA. Psy ops. I worked in Brazil in the 70's. I was the front man for a rock group that was really popular there. We sang in Portuguese, so you haven't heard any of our songs. Anyway, Mondelez foods, the owner of Oreos, is a front for the CIA, and my rock group was sponsored by Oreos so that we could install tracking devices into all the mouths of the royal family there. But then our cover was blown. My bassist was a double agent. Turns out the Oreos were being used to track US. And that's why I'm off the grid. Can't touch an Oreo or else I'll be extradited to Sao Paulo and charged for my crimes." He takes a sip of Bud and looks at you with wide eyes, waiting, expecting, demanding that you believe him. It's the only thing he wants in this whole world.
"Oh. That's really interesting, man. I have to go."
Some people lie as an excuse, and others lie because they're deeply insecure and want to impress people. But the most interesting liars are the ones who lie for no conceivable reason, like these absurd lies people's parents told them as kids.
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