FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!: Neighbor Steals Man's Power And Water, Nuclear Revenge Ensues

Monday, February 1, 2021

Neighbor Steals Man's Power And Water, Nuclear Revenge Ensues

Sometimes you meet someone and you just know they're going to be nothing but trouble without even knowing them. This revenge story's villainous couple certainly gave off those shady vibes. Bill had the audacity to steal the guy's power and water over and over again, and vastly underestimated the guy's capacity for executing a beautiful, calculated revenge. The pool salt was just a plain old brutal touch.

Check out another glorious pro revenge tale from the same guy over here. Can't decide which one's better.

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Rectangle - r/ProRevenge u/OlderSparky • 1d Join 1 2 12 e 10 3 24 1 8 13 NaCI NacI NaCI NaCl, hey hey hey, goodbye... a Sparkies Tale This is a bit of a read, hey. The title will make sense at some stage, I promise. I'll explain some stuff as we go, but as always, there's a Glossary at the end. Some years ago I was working FiFo (Fly In, Fly Out) at a mine.

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Font - Some years ago I was working FiFo (Fly In, Fly Out) at a mine. Leave the small-ish town I was living in at the time, fly to the mine for two weeks, fly back home for one week. Rinse, repeat. As a dual trade sparky/instro, it was big hours and looooots of Beer Tickets. (sparky/instro - electrician/instrumentation electrician) With all the fat stacks of bills I was being paid, I decided to buy a fixer-upper house that I could work on during my weeks off, with a view to selling at some stage

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Font - It had come up at an estate sale, the previous owners having been there for over 25yrs. It needed the usual paint and mending, a fair bit of modernisation, a bit of renovation, but was overall a solid house in an established neighbourhood. All the blocks around there were half acre. The first day I was moving in, I hadn't been there for an hour, and had one of the neighbours visiting. (There are two types of neighbours who come over within an hour. The "Here is a casserole, welcome to the

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Font - Anyway, Bill and Jenny came over with the "Hello peasant, this is a quiet neighbourhood" yada yada bullshit. They'd been at their house for over 20yrs. I was courteous and respectful, explained that I would be in and out due to being a FiFo Contractor, didn't party, and the only noise would be fixing up the house. Well. Bill and Jenny were most assuredly not impressed. I don't know if it was the Contractor bit, or the fixing up the house bit, but I don't think their faces could've looked

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Font - Bill was also kind enough to let me know that "Everyone around here has pride in their gardens/lawns and it would be a shame if I were any different". Jesus fuck Bill, OK, I get it. Bill has no chill. I let him wander off with his Alpha attitude and went about moving in. Dave and Bec "Dave" and "Bec" (from over the other fence) came over just on sunset with their teenaged kids, beers and pizza. Dave was a High School Principal and Bec was a Nurse. They asked how it went with Bill and Jenn

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Font - All through the first day l'd seen Bill pottering around in his garden. Garden isn't the right word though. Apart from the house, their half acre was like the local Botanical Gardens. Gazebo, Pool, Pond and all. Dave told me how Bill bragged about his rare trees and flowers and shit. (Can you tell I love gardening? Honestly, grass is just something you pull up to pave or concrete over.) After the first week, l'd moved in and had begun the plans for the work I wanted to do. With the title

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Font - would do nicely, and had My People into whether the plans were still valid/needed updating. l'd also serviced the mower (in my BIG SHED) and done the lawn, to the not-so-surreptitious scrutiny of Bill. Then it was off to the mine for two weeks. begin looking Each week off l'd catch up on sleep and work a bit. This went on for a few months until I got my first proper Quarterly Utility Bill (Power/water/etc). Now I could continue a habit l'd started years earlier. Just like everyone else do

8.

Font - The Issue Unfolds Month five I decided to replace the electrical switchboards in the house and BIG SHED (fuse box/ breaker panel/load center/distribution board/I don't know where you live and what you call it there). To do this, I killed the power at the front Main Switch at the Meter Box. This means my whole block would have no power. While changing out the switchboards, l'd also do a full test of the electrical cabling, outlets, etc. This testing was done, by law, prior to sale, but not

9.

Font - (There are now some readers who have guessed what the underlying "Corpus Delecti" is in this tale.) (Some have probably figured out what the title means) Bills whole garden, like mine, had an automatic irrigation system. At set times and days, the whole grounds would get watered by a pump and timers. This usually happened three times a week around sunset. His flower beds had misters, potted plants had drippers, and the lawn had the pop-up rotating "chuk, chuk, chuk, chuk, brrrrrr" sprinkl

10.

Font - l'd never seen Bill water by hand with a hose. Weird. The Shed circuit intimated that it either had a fault in the underground cable, or it had some electrical equipment connected, even though l'd unplugged everything for testing. So, the undergrounds then. I'd have to try and find the undergrounds and investigate. this would mean pulling them out and possibly replacing them, but that could wait for tomorrow. I'd just do the house switchboard that day. Next day, I borrowed a cable locator

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Font - It appeared that there was a branch off the underground shed power cable. Heading into Bills property. Looking over the fence, the first thing I could see in line with this branch was Bills little hut that housed his pool pump/filter/irrigation controls/irrigation manifolds/valves. This hut was about 3m/10ft inside his fenceline.

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Font - Because this cable locator also located water pipes, I found that the shed water pipe also branched at this point. Things were less weird now. After marking the whole underground services trench, I packed up the gear and went about changing out the house switchboard. And had a nice think. The Plan was formed. TM The next day I got My People records of when Bills pool, and my Shed had been built. I also went and bought some cameras and a recorder. The last couple of days of the week I did

13.

Font - Using surveyors pegs hammered into the ground, I marked out where the BIG BEAUTIFUL DECK would be going. I didn't want anyone suspicious about why l'd marked the Shed underground services trench. • I put up the cameras. One facing down the side of the house that would capture the water and power meter at the front of the property. One facing my Shed, which would inadvertently capture Bills Pool Hut. Perfectly legal. • Tinstalled a mini power meter just for the shed circuit, so I could mon

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Font - TM I'd also had a call while at the mine from My People telling me that Bills pool, and my shed, had gone in around the same time 10yrs ago. Bill, Bill, Bill. You silly wig wearing wanker. Phase 2 of the plan included making the hole deeper for Bill. One day when he was out in the garden, I called over to him and asked if he'd seen anyone messing around with the power/water meters. (The meters were at the front of the property, like they did back in the day, to make it easier for the mete

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Font - When I left for the mine, I not only recorded the meter numbers and turned the power/water off, I put an "Out of Service" tag on the Shed circuit, and another on the water valve. These were dated and I took photos. So now we can establish just how bold Bill was, because when I got home the tags were gone, and the power/water was on again. I again went through the asking-over-the-fence shtick. Again Bill denied any Scienter. Two chances to own up. Okie dokie, Phase 3.

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Font - Just so everyone is caught up: Bill had been at his property for 20yrs+. The Pool and shed went in 10yrs ago. The Pool Hut, with the pump and filter, and irrigation system went in at the same time. You could see that the hut had been designed to house all of it. Bill might have been knowingly stealing power and water for 10yrs. He certainly had no problem stealing power and water off me. Fuck Bill and all his green shit. I visited a couple of Mates to pick up some items and went to work.

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Font - At 2am, with my headlamp on, feeling all Jason Bourne, I went and turned my water off. After running the taps in the house to remove the pressure, I put some plastic down near the power/water branch (for the dirt), and very carefully dug a hole. · Exposing the water line going over to Bills place, I fixed a tapping saddle to the water pipe. (Remember, this pipe over to Bills place was coming off MY water pipe.) Onto the tapping saddle I fitted the end of a length of small clear plastic tu

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Font - Later that day, around midday, I went next door and knocked. One last chance Bill. Jenny answered the door, and I asked if I could have a word with them both about their pool and irrigation water/power. Jenny knew. She paused for a heart-beat and said they didn't have anything to talk about. As she was closing the door, I said that if Bill wanted to come and see me, l'd be home. Now, you might be thinking "Ok, this looks like it's going to be a bit of an extreme response." Here's what l'd

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Font - Bill or Jenny asking me to keep the noise of the power tools down when I was working during the day. I only ever started after 9am and finished before 5pm. Our houses were about 100m/330ft apart. I was disturbing their "Gazebo time" during the day. • Bill and or Jenny calling the Police to my place for noise complaints when I had mates over helping. The worksite radio was low, and we were just being jocular, not rowdy. Dave and Bec had no issue and came over for the BBQS. Bill had one of

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Font - So, at about 5pm, Bills irrigation turned on. And so did my dosing pump. Have you ever heard the term "Salting the Earth"? The bag l'd emptied into the 200L/53gal drum was pool salt. NaCl. When Bills irrigation turn off, the drum was empty. It had pumped all the salt water into Bills irrigation system. 2am, I Jason Bourned the tubing out of the hole, sealed the tapping saddle, and packed up. The next morning I took my mates drum and pump back. At about 8am, I started digging up the servic

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Font - They denied any knowledge. I told them - that's ok, I was going to replace the cable and conduit to the shed anyway, so l'd just cut the stuff going to their place. I ended up jumping the fence and digging so I could rip the pipe and cable out of the ground on their side. A plumber mate came and helped fix my water pipe.

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Font - Fallout Bills Garden - When I was digging my trench the next morning, I could see it all, everything, wilting. If he'd gotten a heap of water on it right away the night before.. who knows. Some of his rare trees may have survived. But by 8am the salt had been doing it's job for 13hours. When he saw what was happening, and figured out the cause, he connected his hose to the irrigation system and started watering. Everything turned yellow/brown. It took him months to get the plants that liv

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Font - Bill and Jenny - The morning after, once he'd figured out what happened, they confronted me. I denied any knowledge and when he started threatening legal action, I told him about the tags, and video, and Utilities Diary, and pool/shed building documents. It drove him nuts not being able to do anything. He knew I did it. Thankfully, I had no more hassle from them. Me - I sold the house 1yr after starting, as planned, to avoid higher taxes on the sale. I bought another house and started aga

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Font - My People^TM - Conveyancer. Like a human conveyor belt. They move paper from one place to another. BIG BEAUTIFUL DECK - Best. Deck. Ever. It went along the whole back of the house, and halfway round one side. It was 5m/16ft wide, roofed, and had a BBQ station and sinks built in. I still miss that deck. My Grounds - I managed to not kill any of my plants or stupid grass. Thank you for reading.

26.

Font - Glossary Beer Tickets - Beer Tickets are Money. You hand over a red Beer Ticket ($20 note), you get 5 beers. A blue ticket ($10 note) gets you 2 beers. These conversion rates are from years ago. I don't know what the current conversion rates are. Corpus Delecti - Is either "Body of the Crime" or something to do with cooking. I'm pretty sure l've heard Gordon Ramsey say it before. But then, who could tell. Salting the Earth - Salt kills plants. I reckon, after seeing the results of one bag

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Font - Neighbours/Neighbourhood - I made sure to write this down as many times as I reasonably could. Just to annoy people with the "u". It's one of my favourite games. Grass - 15 spots of rain and you have to cut it again. Oh look, now it needs fertilizer. Now it needs shade..oops too much shade. Honestly, kids are easier. I remember the time I mowed the lawn as a 10yr old. Ran over some rocks. That was such a fun time. Mowing the lawn with bleeding legs and Dad saying, "That's just part of mow

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Tagged: neighbors , FAIL , stealing , cringe , ridiculous , Reddit , illegal

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