Saturday, January 23, 2021

Woman Returns "Passive Aggressive" Cookbook From Husband


Passive aggressive behavior can grind one's gears like none other. This woman decided to turn to the moral judges of Reddit's AITA community to see whether or not her being offended over her husband's holiday gift to her, was an overreaction. There were a whole lot of other gifts that he could've given her. This very well might've just been a recipe for disaster. 

1.

Font - AITA for wanting to return a cookbook that my husband got me and refusing to cook? When my husband and I first got married, I did most of the cooking. I was also working less hours. Then we had kids and I was a stay-at-home mom, so it just made sense. However, once our kids reached elementary age, I re-entered the workforce. This time, my workload doubled. I tried at first to cook every night, prep in advance, etc. but at the end of the day, I was exhausted. I shared this with my husband

2.

Font - As our kids got older and my workload increased, my husband's decreased. His field has taken a nose dive and he works a lot less hours than he used to. We've been fine financially because of my workload. We eventually agreed that he would do all of the cooking to offset me doing all the cleaning and a majority of the stuff with the kids. It's not thatI never cook, I will on nights my husband has to work late or if he's not feeling well. But most of the time, he is cooking. For Christmas,

3.

Font - It's been nearly a month since Christmas and the cookbook has gone unused by me. I got a notification that my favorite author just put out a new book. I asked my husband for the receipt so I could exchange the cookbook. He was hurt. I asked him why he'd get this for me when I don't cook. He said he hoped it'd "inspire" me. I asked if he was going to then pick up the slack elsewhere and he said no. I said, so basically, we go back to me doing everything when I work more? He stammered over

4.

Font - Kay_Elle · 17h · Asshole Aficionado [19] NTA - this was passive-aggressive at best. No point in keeping a book you won't use. If he's tired of cooking, but you're still doing more work - then it should be open to debate that he'll shift more to other responsibilities...but you going back to more cooking without re-division of labor, when your workload has not changed isn't a fair deal. Reply 897 3 + ...

5.

Font - millera85 · 17h • Partassipant [1] 1 Award NTA. He needs to stop thinking the household is your job. Reply 1 721 3 ...

6.

Font - terrapharma • 17h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] NTA. You do all other chores and most of the childcare? He is TA for that alone. Whatever made you agree to such an inequitable deal? Now he's giving you the silent treatment because he wanted you to take over his ONE chore and you naturally refused. I feel so bad for you. # Q Reply 532

7.

Rectangle - MarsWater5 • 17h • Partassipant [2] NTA - sounds like he's finally realized how hard it is to do it all and wants you to step back into the roll of doing it so he doesn't have to. Reply 1 1.7k 3 ...

8.

Organism - Simple-Living- • 16h · Partassipant [1] NTA. This is a stone's throw away from a husband getting his wife a "how to lose weight" book. There's nothing subtle here. The real mistake was him gifting you the book. You could have been more honest about it sooner, but it is what it is. You're NTA. + Q Reply ↑ 94 3 ...

9.

Rectangle - ripecantaloupe • 17h · Certified Proctologist [21] NTA. He's being a chauvinist, and a lazy one at that. Yikes. Reply 6.4k 3 ...

10.

Mammal - doxy_cycline · 17h · Asshole Enthusiast [9] NTA. Your husband knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on. I imagine if he just apologized for the crappy gift and acknowledged why he was wrong, that would go a long way. But that's on him to do; you don't have anything to apologize for. Reply 1 179 ...

11.

Font - mm172 · 16h · Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [301] NTA. The people saying your husband didn't intend to pressure you with this gift are kind and generous souls, but I think that "inspire" comment of his makes it pretty clear he knew what he was doing. If it were really that inspiring, you'd think he'd have tried it out or taken you up on the suggestion to keep it for himself. At the very least, he could've offered to handle the exchange for you, instead of adding that to your to-do list. Th

12.

Rectangle - No_Proposal7628 · 15h NTA. You're the wife, the mother and the major breadwinner. You are female. You are required to cook if your husband gets tired of it./s Such a load of crap! You are doing everything right, my dear. Reply 1 22 •..

13.

Font - unicorndontcare69 · 13h NTA, where do you all find these SOs!? If my husband did this he would call himself out on it and let me know he was intentionally being a little shit, but immediately have me a gift want or need. Op's husband wanted her to want to do more than her fair share. I hate cooking but I get home before husband so I cook dinner and he cooks breakfast because he's up before me. We never had to discuss it. It was natural. Reply 20 •..

14.

Font - bellePunk · 16h • Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA Huge asshole move by your husband, gifting you more chores when you already support the household and do the lions share of the chores. I sincerely hope that he enjoys doing all of the chores by himself while you relax after work and read your new book. I'm sure that you will still help with the kids because anyone who is that incompetent can't really be trusted to properly care for them. Seriously, though, don't do anything for a few weeks an

15.

Font - peevesthetimelord · 13h NTA, it feels very pointed that he would buy you a cookbook when he agreed to do most of the cooking, especially since he said he hoped it would "inspire" you. And that he wouldn't acknowledge how much work cooking is and not pick up the slack anywhere else. That's just trying to get out of his responsibilities by passive aggressively putting them on you. Q Reply 1 5

16.

Font - theaardvarkoflore · 17h · Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA. I mean... you kinda are. But his intentions give him the official title. The discussion about the cookbook seals the deal, too - he literally wanted to shove more chores off on you in exchange for nothing at all, and reap the benefits without paying in. Good on you for shutting that down. Go ahead and let the man sulk for a few days if he needs to, it's okay to be unhappy when a plan doesn't pan out. It is human nature to want what we

17.

Smile - redmahkupbag • 17h • Partassipant [2] NTA. If he's the one in charge of cooking and works less hours then he shouldn't give you a cookbook for inspiration just so he has less to do Reply 39 ...

18.

Organism - littlegreenapples • 13h NTA and the instant he said that bullshit about hoping to inspire you, it would have taken everything I had not to yeet it straight at his head. If he wants more cooking done he has two fucking hands, he can use them to cook dinner for the family. Fuck that noise. É Q Reply 4 7 3 ...

19.

Smile - ScrappleSandwiches · 14h · Certified Proctologist [23] NTA. Why are you doing all of the cleaning, too? This guy needs to get off his ass. Enjoy your new book that you actually want to read and let him stew in his own juices (heh). Reply 1 18 ...

20.

Smile - Consistent-Leopard71 • 17h · Asshole Aficionado [12] NTA. Instead of having an adult conversation about trading off some chores for you to do more of the cooking, he gave you a hint in the form of a "gift". He sounds lazy and he communicates poorly. O Reply 94 5 ...

21.

Font - angeliniana • 11h NTA If you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt you could assume that he might genuinely believe that cooking would bring you joy. It's most likely rooted in sexism even if it's true, but it could still have been kindly meant. That's the very kindest interpretation. A stupid and clumsy sexist. Reply ...

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