Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Tumblr Thread On Baby Oarfish Escalates Quickly


So, maybe getting out of the ocean was a very bright idea after all. What starts as a seemingly innocent little Tumblr thread on the baby oarfish ends up escalating into a series of insights about just how monstrously big the oarfish can end up being. I honestly just wonder what Pokémon was inspired by this bad boy. If you're looking for another interesting read from the wonderful wandering minds of Tumblr, check out this thread about Hollywood's toxic beauty standards

1.

Eyewear - mischief7manager digitalrabbit asked: Hey I heard you're giving out anxiety, can I have 1 anxiety please? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses answered: yes, here is a baby oarfish

2.

Nature - imaramennoodle that's a BABY? biggest-gaudiest-patronuses boy howdy are you in for a treat! introducing, the Oarfish!

3.

Reptile - MA! THERE'S A WEIRD FUCKING FISH! Not much is known about Oarfish. Their maximum length is debatable, though there are reports of specimen up to 56 ft long. They live at great depths, and are rarely observed alive. Here's a relatively small one: Slightly larger one:

4.

Fun - aaaaand, little bigger:

5.

Fun

6.

People - Yeah. these children get long. hold on a mo', i might have a better photo yeah. there we go. a few hundred Ibs of Oarfish. like i said, length-variable. that one's only about 28 feet though. so like, imagine that but double.

7.

Human - look how excited everyone is. well, everyone but the fish. oh, fun fact! they can self-amputate up to 3/4th of their body. lizard style.

8.

Text - Historically, Oarfish have been described as sea serpents, and are probably responsible for a fair portion of myths. In Japanese folklore, their appearance portends earthquakes. Though rarely seen, Oarfish live in every ocean. All around the world. Everywhere. No matter what coastline you're on, they're always there. Just a few thousand feet below water. Waiting.

9.

Text - Watching. fireball-me JESUS THAT WAS MORE THAN 1 ANXIETY biggest-gaudiest-patronuses I AM A WHOLESALE PROVIDER Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses 45,596 notes

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