Thursday, January 7, 2021

People's Worst First Date Stories


The whole dating scene is a wildly unpredictable one. Too many times unsuspecting folks can fly blind right into nothing short of a waking nightmare. Dating apps can certainly play a part in this vicious cycle. It's as if the person you spent all that time exchanging virtual pleasantries with before actually meeting, was nothing more than a work of fiction. If you ever find yourself in the middle of a date that is erring comfortably on the side of absolute disaster, then you'd best dip ship like there's no tomorrow. 

1.

Text - a dot clarke 000 @GreatSaltFLake Replying to @jimmyfallon Took me rock climbing and wouldn't let me repel down until I committed to a second date. I lied just so I could get down. #worstfirstdate

2.

Text - Fatherhood: Reloaded 000 @fatherreloaded Replying to @jimmyfallon #worstfirstdate She longingly talked about how big the last guys package was and how cute our waiter was. I told said waiter she wanted his number when he asked if we needed anything, embarrassing her and him. We'll be married a year in April

3.

Text - Ms. Young Professional @MsYoungProfess Replying to @jimmyfallon I thought it was a job interview #WorstFirstDate

4.

Text - Bill Bradley @gumgumerson 00 Replying to @jimmyfallon #WorstFirstDate I stopped at a gas station because she said she never pumped gas before, and she freaks out and is all like, "No! This is something special I want to do with my mom!" And I'm like, "Great. Does your mom want to meet us here? Cuz we still need gas."

5.

Text - Ember, M.S.W. @emmmmmmber 0oc Replying to @jimmyfallon He was showing me a picture of him and his dog. I asked why he was wearing such a fancy suit in the picture, and made fun of him for it. He had just been at his mom's funeral. #worstfirstdate

6.

Text - Kaylinn @Kaylinshaye 000 Replying to @jimmyfallon I went on a first date with a guy who spent the whole time complaining about how his ex "screwed him over" then proceeded to cry and told me I reminded him of her. #WorstFirstDate

7.

Text - Blair 00 @Agirlinalabama Replying to @jimmyfallon Ihad a dentist appt that day and got a filling. They said the anesthesia would wear off in a couple of hours. It didn't. I didn't want to cancel with an excuse that sounded so fake. Sat across from him drooling out of one corner of my mouth. Now we're married! #worstfirstdate

8.

Text - hannah holyoke @HannahHolyoke Replying to @jimmyfallon We went back to my place and while we were in my room watching tv he magically pulled out 3 chili dogs from his backpack and proceeded to eat them, IN MY BED, balanced on his stomach. Never even offered me a bite. #worstfirstdate

9.

Text - jay joshi @jayjoshi842 Replying to @jimmyfallon Went on a date with her in a restaurant but forgot to take the wallet. #WorstFirstDate

10.

Text - Natasha Hamilton 000 @natashaham75 Replying to @jimmyfallon Waiting 4 my date when an older couple asked me for a ride. my date came up and said sure! We drove them home & they asked us to come in. Date said "sure". I pulled him back & asked why he wanted to hang w/strangers. He said "sh@t! YOU DONT KNOW THEM!?" We bolted! #worstfirstdate

11.

Text - Elise 000 @mills_elise Replying to @jimmyfallon Invited him round to watch movies and talk, but he spent the whole night flirting with my sister. #WorstFirstDate

12.

Text - Anthony @AnthonyMustache 00 Replying to @jimmyfallon Took her to Buffalo Wild Wings - didn't realize she was a vegetarian #WorstFirstDate

13.

Text - -Kate- 000 @WriterK8 Replying to @jimmyfallon He took me to a steakhouse and I ordered a medium rare steak. He insisted to the waitress that I wanted it well- done and probably didn't realize what medium rare was. There was no second date. #WorstFirstDate

14.

Text - Nancy DeVico @NancyDeVico Replying to @jimmyfallon Waitress asked for our drink order and he requested chocolate milk. #WorstFirstDate #SoNotAMatch #BlindDate

15.

Blue - Saverio Guerra 000 @saverio825 Replying to @jimmyfallon Took a girl on a date to dinner, but she wouldn't eat, when I asked why she said she didn't like the way her face looked when she chewed. #VWorstFirstDate

16.

Text - Tait Miller 000 @taitthor Replying to @jimmyfallon The horn on my VW Bug would inexplicably go off every couple weeks, so I taped up the wires to avoid it happening. Sure enough, it honked just as I pulled up to her house. In a panic, I didn't get the car into gear and it started rolling down hill after I got out. #WorstFirstDate

17.

Text - Homosexual Fast Dancing. @spicymemoriess 000 Replying to @jimmyfallon He told me meet him at his job and I assumed we would get dinner after his shift. wrong. We sat in silence in his security car for an hour as he played Jeff Dunham's comedy. My friends texted me and asked if I wanted to go to Taco Bell with them so I left. No second date.

18.

Text - Lyntodo @LynTOd0 Replying to @jimmyfallon He finished the bottle of wine and then casually poured half of my 1st glass into his #worstfirstdate

19.

Text - Rollered 000 @MRollered Replying to @jimmyfallon #WorstFirstDate A blind date, took me to his family reunion and introduced me as his long term girlfriend without warning. The whole night I didn't know if I should say something now or later. It wasn't until his grandma came up to me & said I have good hips for babies that I did

20.

Text - Dan Serrano 000 @DanAlexSerrano Replying to @jimmyfallon I was 5 min late for the movie, he got impacient and entered alone. We were at the same movie in different seats, at the end we met at the exit shook hands and left #WorstFirstDate

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