Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Dad Jokes That Go Father Than Ever Before


When a dad opens his mouth, it's unclear if whatever comes out is gonna be pure gold, or just the dumbest thing you've ever heard. Dad jokes run the gamut of stupid to great, and they run it hard. If these devastating dad jokes are even a little bit of an indication what a dad joke can be, we're in for a rollercoaster of dadness.

1.

Human leg - BOYS, IF YOUR GIRLLOOKS LIKE THIS AY SHE'SAKEEPER

2.

Bottle - LIQUOR STORE ASSISTANT: HEY, DO YOU NEED HELP? NONEY ME: YES, BUT I DECIDED TO COME HERE INSTEAD.

3.

Motor vehicle - TER6982 BE PaTien t I'M PUshing As fastas I Can

4.

Blue - BREAKING NEWS Local man addicted to brake fluid says he can stop anytime he wants.... made with mematic

5.

Organism - IF THE EARTH WAS FLAT CATS WOULD HAVE PUSHED EVERYTHING OFF IT BY NOW

6.

Clothing - She took forever at the cash point, I wonder if her bank account has been Frozen Free cash withdrawals Free cash wit

7.

Face - I NAMED MY IPHONE THE TITANIC. IT'S SYNCING NOW. imgfip.com

8.

Watercraft - odysseus: we now set out on our odyssey. sailor: [raising hand] what's an odyssey? odysseus: a long journey named after the only survivor. sailor: oh ok wait what.

9.

Text - Singing in the shower is all fun and games util you get shampoo in your mouth. Then, it becomes a soap opera.

10.

Text - What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing. They just waved. Sea what I did there? I'm shore you did.

11.

Cheek - I'D LIKE TO THANK MY LEGS, FOR SUPPORTING ME Cen Wat d hm MY ARMS, FOR ALWAYS BEIN BY MY SIDE. AND MY FINGERS.I COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON THEM

12.

Motorcycle - It's got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start... RENE HOULE

13.

Sleeve - I had a happy childhood. My Dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills. Those were Goodyears... .... @ Star Trek Singles

14.

Yellow - Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

15.

Text - Tonce gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, "Hey, we're getting along pretty great lately!"

16.

Wrinkle - Once I became a parent I finally understood the scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke's questions he just dies.

17.

Ear - Science fact: it is impossible for a man to use a stud finder without first scanning himself with it and stating to the room 'found one'

18.

Blue - BREATHTAKING . VIEW OF THE MILKY WAY HilkyWay Mars SEEN FROM MARS

19.

Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland I noticed my wife and kids were wearing vests soI put one on just so I could say "vest day ever" like a million times. Then I took it off just so I could mention that I wasn't as invested as they were.

20.

Yellow - Bloke: "What do you do for a living?" Me: "I'm a spy." Bloke: "Why are you dressed as a shepherd?" Me: "I'm a shepherd spy."

21.

Text - Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes. My doctor says it's terminal.

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