Monday, September 7, 2020

Spicy, Strange, And Totally Random Scottish Tweets


Scottish Twitter is our favorite kind of Twitter. We might not be able to understand what these Scots are saying (more than) half the time, but that doesn't mean that it's not fun to read them, and just try to make sense of the madness. Who'd have known that Twitter would've ended up being such a pure reflection of Scottish culture. If you enjoyed these check out more gems from Scottish Twitter over here.

1.

Text - Marc McArdle @marcmcardle1 · 17h An absolute tragedy for the city of Glasgow. We will rebuild. STV News O @STVNews · 20h Umbrellas have been blown over at a beer garden in Glasgow city centre. bit.ly/34J2RGP 758C207AD MINNES CAS SCANIA O 27 27245 4,384 > 49 SEC THE AGGY B/LLY CONIM

2.

Text - Aaron White @CaptainAsthma I was just thinking how gid our patter is in Scotland, like a bet ye wouldnae get folk in egypt puttin a roadcone oan top eh the sphynx

3.

Mobile phone case - Boris is a shagger. @Dougmcg1- 2h That's not the English flag ya mad statue fiddling flag shagging fruitloaf A Chris @brown12008 · 16/08/2020 If your proud of england and want it back to how it was retweet GIF 278 74

4.

Text - Proxy Opinions @ProxySwears Ah luv when ye go tae the safari park an there's a wee pigeon there. He's like "check me, am a wild animal". Naw pal, fuck off back tae Buchanan Street. 10:18 · 23/09/2019 · Twitter for iPhone 2 Retweets 2 Likes

5.

Text - Leah @leaherin_ literally sums up living in Glasgow, canny press the button when you're standing at the traffic lights for fear everyone is laughing at you for being a shitebag soapy @ghostwurld - 2d i literally get embarrassed doing anything. i wear sunglasses when it's sunny and i'm like this is so humiliating. Show this thread

6.

Text - Sean McDonald @seanmcdonald01 How can England have 55 million people in it, yet still have absolutely nae patter between them? Makes ye wonder.

7.

Text - nats. @nataliegaw My grandad was in ggow today & saw a guy walking his dog & was sure he knew him so he said to him "excuse me ur gonna think I'm mad, I definitely know u but I can't think how, I used to live in the west end but now I live in Ayrshire, my names Harry Johnston, do u know whoI am.. 22:29 · 19/08/2020 · Twitter for iPhone 184 Retweets and comments 4,516 Likes nats. @nataliegaw · 18h Replying to @nataliegaw and the guy replied "naw I don't but my names Kevin Bridges, does tha

8.

Text - Christian Wulff @aHellofaBeating Glasgow RamAlbumClub @RamAlbumClub Having a night out in Edinburgh. Tell me where to go

9.

Text - Got asked for ID in the shop earlier. Gave the guy it and he burst out laughing. I went, "Aw my name's a belter eh?" and he goes, "Yer name? I'm talking aboot yer picture, pal!" A very humbling experience. 7:29 PM · Jul 28, 2020 · Twitter for Android

10.

Text - Joanne @StarraEducation Scottish people love it when upon first meeting, you dazzle them with your best attempt at a Scottish accent. >

11.

Text - Caz @carricknrm CEK Using my gold trimmer on a boy at work n he goes "wit did ye unlock that after 500 haircuts" genuinely the best bit ae patter l've heard in a while

12.

Tent - David Adam Wild Camping in Scotland ... 1h. E Don't buy a tent online lol You and 1.9k others 203 comments

13.

Text - Adam Jardine @adamjardine95 Thats a fuckin Sunday night question if i've ever seen one Adam mate 22:10 Yo yo 22:11 W Am scared dnt do that 22:11 Why is the plural a mouse mice but the plural a house isn't hice 22:11 Get yerself tae fuck 22:11 W Q W ERT YUIO P A S DFG H J KL А Z X C VBN M +

14.

Text - joe heenan @joeheenan To all the kids in Scotland who didn't get the exam results they wanted. I didn't do well in my exams & now I hang about supermarket carparks looking for trolleys that still have a pound coin in them. Qualifications aren't everything 12:32 · 04 Aug 20 · Twitter for Android 32 Retweets and comments 404 Likes

15.

Text - Jig @JR_1967 "Can't believe my wee girl is in primary 2 now" Awww can ye not, a year after she started primary 1& yer surprised she's moving up a year? Fucking roasters

16.

Text - Tweet The Neddy Scientist @neddyscientist Hunner percent yer Granny's mentally stronger than ye. Gran Up 9:32 · 05 Aug 20 · Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet and comment 5 Likes

17.

Text - 0OT YER Oot Yer Nut at T * Follow @OotYerNutatT No need to brag mate Sky NEWS CO LIVE BUSHY RUNNER RIO OLYMPICS AARON FARR 11:04D AFTER BEING CAUGHT UP BY A LARGE WAVE AT FISTRAL BEACH ON THE NORTH-WEST RUNNER AARON FARR VIA 9GAG.COM

18.

Text - Sandy Inch @sandyinch1 Was just at the bank na wee old wife says to me "could ye check ma balance son" so a pushed her

19.

Text - GOOKO @LazloMorphine whats the Pink Panther's favourite place in Scotland? Dunoon. Dunoon, Dunoon Dunoon Dunoon Dunoon, Dunoo00oon

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