Thursday, August 13, 2020

Software Developer Brings Justice To Evil Marketing Queen


Man, if there's one thing that always rings true, it is that nobody should ever be messing with folks in the IT department. In many ways the IT department consists of very smart individuals with the keys to the kingdom. Or least the skillset to engineer the kind of masterful revenge that's untraceable and utterly devastating. Sounds like this particular marketing queen was served the justice that she deserved. 

Check out some more gold from the IT world with this tech support employee who called a mean Karen's bluff.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/ImperiousChipmunk • 2y Don't fuck with IT, we run the world. All names and locations changed. About 10 years ago, on Neptune, I was working in my first software development job out of university. We made websites, promotional material, and supplied equipment for conferences and trade shows. So if a company wanted a booth at some event, we would produce everything and support them for the duration of the event. This is where I came across Malificent. She was in charge

2.

Text - the marketing department of a company on nearby Pluto, and they hired us for a convention they were attending. I produced the website for them, which consisted of some pictures/videos of their latest product with a few paragraphs of text. Also some links to their social media, a sign up form etc., pretty basic stuff. It's important to note here that I never met Malificent in person during this time, just talked to her once on the phone, the rest via email. She mainly dealt with our projec

3.

Text - Everything was going fine, l'd produced their website and was just waiting for Malificent to send some images and videos of their product to replace the placeholders I had been using in the meantime. This was a Tuesday, the event was the following Monday. I emailed Malificent asking when I could expect the files and got no reply. Still no reply Wednesday, so Thursday I asked Credenza to chase it up. She stopped by my desk a short after, a bit flustered. She'd just spoken to Malificent, wh

4.

Text - weekend. Bitch. I had to run that evening, but I promised Credenza I would log on Saturday morning and copy the files to the website and everything would be ready for Monday. Saturday morning and the video files didn't work. I don't remember the details exactly, but the files were made using some kind of proprietary codec that I just couldn't convert to something usable on their website. Long story, marginally less long, spent Saturday praying to gods I didn't believe in for a miracle tha

5.

Text - Part 2: Trying to get me fired. Following the convention, Malificent was furious. She again accused us of incompetence and me personally for fucking up her weekend (what about my weekend?!). I fired back at what a pain in the ass Malificent had been (the guys who met her at the event said she was no easier in person) and how l'd done everything I could, but Malificent denied everything and questioned how I was still in a job. This made Credenza look bad and her and her bosses (none of the

6.

Text - Part 3: Revenge is dish best served with béarnaise sauce and Sauvignon blanc. About 6 Earth years later, I joined a company that sold women's boots, all shapes, colours (that's how we spell it on Vulcan) and sizes. They had their own IT department that produced their websites and other internal systems. Little did I know that Malificent had also moved to this company at some point, again in the marketing department, which was downstairs from me. There was a promotional event soon where ou

7.

Text - before) and talked about the special page I was to produce for the website. She was a pain in the ass again. She was never available (she would take an hour and half lunch every day, and reclaim it on expenses) and when I did meet with her, she changed the requirements constantly, "Can you just change that bit? Never mind, put it back. Oh, actually could you put this shitty animation at the top of the page, no that's a terrible idea, why would you suggest that?" etc. Also, sitting with he

8.

Text - while remembering our previous encounter where she had all but got me fired. I thought about calling her out on this, but it would have achieved nothing and I had only just started working at this company a few weeks ago, I didn't want to make waves. So, I persevered and eventually my web page was done and I gave her the URL to send to the bag makers for printing the QR code. But she screwed up. I was copied into an email chain with her sending off the URL to the bag makers and she had do

9.

Text - these bags from the printers and they were £1.15 each (I mean, 1.15 space credits). Then I noticed way down in the email chain, she had copied her password for the bag website: it was "password" - yes, these oxygen thieves exist by the millions. I logged in with her details (from outside work, with a proxy, just in case) and could see she had indeed ordered 1000 of the bags with the wrong URL for the QR code. I quickly added an extra zero to the quantity and also pushed the requested deli

10.

Text - Honestly, I thought nothing would actually happen. I assumed the bag company would spot the URL mistake and just fix it. I assumed someone would notice the tenfold quantity increase and delivery date change. But as they say, when you make an assumption you make ass out of you and umption, because none of these things happened. The bags arrived at the last minute and the URL didn't work. Malificent stormed upstairs and asked why our team had fucked up and demanding we put it right. l acted

11.

Text - in it. "Fine, change the URL on our website" - nope, the "http" bit is out of our control I'm afraid, it must be the bag company's fault. But wait, what's this? Your email to them with the wrong URL? This doesn't look good for you. Meanwhile someone comes up stairs and asks "Weren't we only getting 1000 bags? There seems to be a lot more..." Malificent rushed downstairs to sort out this fresh hell that was rising around her as a warm glow welled up from inside me. I actually never saw her

12.

Text - store that could print 10000 QR codes on sticky labels to stick over the wrong one on each bag. Apparently she was there most of the night attaching them all, which was doubly funny as l'm told we didn't quite manage to give away the original 1000 bags at the event the following day anyway, let alone the other 9000. She was put on 'gardening leave' and fired for gross incompetence and costing the company all the extra money - now the marketing department is run by a guy called Theodopolop

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